Chapter Sixteen

Gavin followed his Dom out the back door, both excited and uneasy about what he was about to witness. His heart raced with the exhilaration. His cock was indeed still stiff. There was little chance it would subside as long as he was forced to hold back his need to come. There wasn’t a chance in hell he would ever top Dale again without permission and no denying this form of punishment was effective.

Dale grabbed Gavin’s hand, and the two of them walked toward the tree line and the base of the mountain that rose up at the back of Dale’s property. As they grew closer, he could smell the evergreens. A rich scent that filled the clean air. The view was amazing. Even though Dale hadn’t built his own deck yet, when it was finished, Gavin had no doubt hours would be spent sitting outside staring at the mountain.

Would he be there next to his lover when that day came?

He shivered, picturing the two of them sitting in a pair of Adirondack chairs, sipping coffee or enjoying a beer while they watched the sunset. There were so many obstacles blocking their path to that future, however.

Gavin was holding Dale back. The man needed to resume his job with the Arcadian Council. That fact was as apparent as the deep green of the surrounding trees. And Dale would never take that job or even be able to breathe easy as long as he was dating anyone, let alone a human. That made Gavin sad for the loneliness that was Dale’s future.

Gavin already knew it would eat him alive living in this community and always standing on the fringe of society, not able to be a full member. As a human, he would feel that strain every day until it drove him crazy.

He also knew he would never be enough for Dale. No matter how much Dale insisted he didn’t care, his stress over living with a human would always lurk at the edge of his consciousness.

There was another undeniable obstacle. As much as Dale tried to reassure Gavin he wasn’t bothered by Gavin’s innocence, Gavin knew better. Or perhaps it wasn’t his naiveté that was the problem. It was his lack of experience. He was far less knowledgeable of the lifestyle Dale was suited for. How long would it be before Dale grew tired of always having to be the teacher as if Gavin truly were the kid Dale called him? It had to be exasperating living with someone so green.

Gavin shook his fears to the side as he entered the shelter of the trees and turned to face Dale. “How does this work? You don’t have to take your clothes off or something?”

Dale cupped his face and gave him a brief kiss. “Nope. Whatever we’re wearing or holding goes with us. It’s a grizzly trait. Not all shifters are as evolved.”

Gavin’s eyebrows rose. “Not all shifters? You mentioned wolves once. Were you serious?”

“Yep. And those poor souls can’t take their clothes. They’re destroyed in the transition. My people are more evolved. We’ve mastered the ability to imagine our belongings in the shift.”

“This is the most insane conversation I’ve ever had.”

Dale smiled. “I’m sure.”

“So, you’re just going to magically switch forms right in front of me?”

“It’s not considered magic. It’s just an ability we have like how some humans are double jointed, and others have the skill to communicate with the dead.”

Gavin shuddered. “Don’t even attempt to compare people touching their wrist with their thumb to changing into an animal, and I’m not even close to convinced people who say they talk to the dead aren’t full of shit.”

Dale shrugged. “You never know though. Open your mind. There is more on this planet than either of us are probably aware of.”

“Now that I don’t doubt.” Not after the past week.

Dale held Gavin away from him with his hands on his shoulders. “I want you to know that although I can’t communicate with you in my grizzly form, I’m still me. I might look ominous, but I would never hurt you. I’m not a wild animal. I’m still Dale inside, Dale with the ability to run through the trees on four paws.”

Gavin nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind if my mind is still intact.” He stepped back. “Go ahead then.”

Dale took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned forward onto his hands and knees.

Gavin tried not to blink and miss a moment of this unbelievable event. From his one and only experience, he knew it wouldn’t take long.

Sure enough, if he hadn’t paid close attention, he wouldn’t believe what he witnessed as Dale’s body elongated in some places and shortened in others. The sound of bones popping into place as if they’d been dislocated filled the air. A sort of shimmer clouded the view as fur emerged to replace clothing. Dale’s head elongated, his snout growing and his ears and nose changing shape. It was over in about fifteen seconds. Fifteen of the longest seconds of Gavin’s life.

“Jesus,” he whispered, taking several steps back, unable to admit he was a little scared. After all, there was an enormous bear standing two feet away from him. No sane human being wouldn’t turn around and run screaming.

But this was Dale. When he cocked his head to one side, Gavin could swear he saw the man in the bear’s eyes. The grizzly was breathing heavily. He inched closer, paws hitting the ground near Gavin. He even dipped his head and brushed it under Gavin’s hand as if he were a cat looking for a rub.

Gavin’s heart was racing, but he lifted his hand and ran it over the bear’s fur. Soft. Thick. Almost black. And his actions were submissive, though the bear outweighed Gavin by so much he could snap him in half in less than a second if he wanted.

Gavin slowly relaxed, growing bolder as he let his hand run along Dale’s back. “Incredible,” he murmured. A miracle. It occurred to him that few humans were capable of being a threat to the grizzly shifters because no one would believe Gavin if he tried to explain what he’d seen. In fact, they would lock him in a loony bin and throw away the key. That was a powerful enough reason to keep humans silent.

Finally, as if Dale had enough of submitting his alpha body to the scrutiny of his human sub, he lifted his head and shook Gavin’s hand free. He cocked his snout to the side next, indicating he was going to head up the side of the mountain.

Gavin smiled. “Okay, big guy. Let’s go.”

If bears had the ability to silently chastise humans, the look on Dale’s Ursidae face did the trick.

Gavin lifted both hands as if in surrender. “You don’t like being called big guy? Okay then. Man-eating mammal. You lead. I’ll follow.” Though he wasn’t sure how well that would be accomplished. The mountain was steep. There were no actual paths. He would have to climb over natural foliage—brush, tree trunks, poisonous plants. Other critters too. He ignored the possibilities running through his mind and trudged between the trees right behind Dale’s rump.

They didn’t make it very far, and Gavin knew he was holding his partner back. It was difficult making his way through the unchartered territory. Perhaps grizzly shifters clambered around in this area every day, but it was obvious no humans had done the same.

Gavin was breathing heavily as Dale led him out into a clearing. He sat on his hindquarters and tipped his head to one side, watching Gavin.

“I feel like I’m at a reverse zoo where you’re the visitor, and the human man is the strange animal being observed.”

Did Dale smile? Did bears have that ability?

“I’m holding you back. You need to run.” He leaned his butt against a large fallen branch and eyed Dale. “Go. Run. I’ll wait here.”

Dale shook his head vehemently, the first communication that indicated he was indeed the man Gavin knew and not a wild animal.

Gavin pointed up the mountain. “Go. Good grief. I’m fine here. Run free. I won’t move. I’m sure you can scent me or whatever and find me on your way back.”

Dale lowered his entire snout as if to imply Gavin could no more get lost in Dale’s care than he could reach up and grab the moon out of the sky.

“Right. You can smell me. Track me. All the more reason not to worry.” He added the next sentence to light a fire under his reluctant lover. “I want to see you in your natural state. I know you don’t normally lope around sniffing the ground. Let me watch.”

Dale stood taller on all fours. He hesitated a moment, and then he turned around and bounded across the meadow. Bears could be quite fast when they wanted to be. Surprising considering how large he was. He had to carry a lot of weight.

He was stunningly gorgeous as he ran free too, taking Gavin’s breath away at the wonder of it all. He didn’t go far, not getting out of Gavin’s sight before turning around and bounding back.

Gavin was almost concerned as the enormity of the lumbering grizzly approached. He looked like he might run straight into Gavin, and he could certainly end his life with the swipe of one paw. But Dale jerked to one side at the last second and leaped over the trunk Gavin was sitting on.

Gavin laughed. “Showoff.” He didn’t think Dale heard him though. The man was already moving at lightning speed yards away behind him.

A chill made Gavin hug his chest, crossing his arms. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of pine surrounding him. The air was clean this far from Calgary. Free of pollutants. A peaceful silence filled the void. A quiet not easily found by humans almost anywhere.

The moment was broken when Dale bounded back toward Gavin and came to an abrupt halt at his side. They both stood there for a long time, staring at each other, Gavin breathing as heavily as the bear who had exerted himself, his adrenaline pumping with exhilaration.

Finally, Dale dipped his head, nudged Gavin’s hand, and turned back down the mountain. He climbed over fallen branches and foliage slow enough to not get more than a few feet ahead of Gavin. Protective. Ever the alpha.

A longing consumed Gavin. Why would the universe place this perfect being in his life and then mock Gavin’s existence as though taunting his inability to fully be one with his lover? It wasn’t fair. But what in life ever was?

»»•««

Dale was worried about Gavin. He’d been too quiet for the last few hours since they returned to the house. Contemplative. Now he’d fallen asleep, stretched out on the couch. It drove Dale nuts that he couldn’t read Gavin’s mind. Would it always make him a little insane until he snapped?

On the one hand, he knew deep in his soul he wanted to be with this particular man for the rest of his life. On the other hand, it didn’t seem reasonably possible for them to make things work.

Dale was aware that his fears concerning Gavin’s safety were sort of unwarranted. He was a smart guy. Logically, Gavin wasn’t at any greater risk than any other person, shifter or human. After all, the men who’d kidnapped Ethan were no longer living. The chances of someone else losing their mind over Dale’s attempts to rescue people and coming after his loved ones were not any higher than thousands of other people who worked in law enforcement or for the government or doctors or lawyers or dozens of other professions in which the tendency to piss people off was higher than regular jobs.

All of those people managed to keep their fears at bay, date, mate, marry, bind, or whatever they felt compelled to do to commit themselves to another.

But Dale couldn’t shake the worry. He couldn’t go through another Ethan. It would destroy him. Maybe if he were honest, he would admit his fear extended way past his employment status. He was also scared Gavin would get hit by a car or have a heart attack or any number of things that yanked people apart and ruined lives—an idea George had inadvertently planted in Dale’s mind.

He took deep breaths, trying to control his emotions. While he outwardly presented himself as this big bad Dom who feared nothing, inside his gut clenched more with every passing hour as he admitted his attachment to this human being. Gavin knew too. He didn’t say anything, but he was a smart man. He understood that his Dom was battling an internal struggle that weakened him.

Assuring himself that Gavin was out cold, Dale sat at the table and picked up the envelope George had handed him yesterday. He slid the thick binder from its resting place as if even bringing it into the light of day changed everything. In a way, he wasn’t wrong.

He opened the cover and tried to swallow over the lump in his throat as he read the contract. A proposal from the Arcadian Council. It was even signed by the leader of all North America, Eleanor herself.

A job offer. It itemized what would be expected of Dale and what he would receive as compensation. His eyes nearly bugged out at the dollar amount. Far more than he would ever make in construction. He wasn’t the sort of man who needed material possessions, and he had no desire to travel, so his needs were few. He was comfortable. Healthy. Happy. He didn’t need a large paycheck to make his life better.

Happy… Was he happy? Was he really content? He’d thought he was until Gavin showed up and turned his world upside down. There were a number of grizzly shifters lately who would insist they were drawn to their mates as if Fate had a hand in the union. They seemed to know the moment they met.

Bears didn’t historically operate under that premise. They considered themselves to have free will where choosing a mate was concerned. But lately, that concept had been put to the test. Wyatt had certainly known the moment Paige stepped into the room. Before him was Alton and Joselyn, who claimed they’d known they belonged together since childhood. Austin and Nuria defied logic in precisely the same fashion.

And then there was Isaiah Arthur and his mate Heather. That situation still gave Dale the chills. Heather had been human when Isaiah first scented her. He was convinced she belonged to him the moment he stuck his head into her car and got a whiff of her pheromones before heading up the mountain to search for her. She’d been a lost hiker.

Dale grimaced as he pondered how fucking lucky Isaiah was that a rogue shifter had scratched his mate, causing her to turn into a shifter without her permission. Perhaps it was unfair to wish that fate on another being, but in the end, Dale suspected both of them were blessed. They had each other, and Heather was no longer human.

So why the hell was Dale seemingly trapped in a world he didn’t ask for, once again in love with a man who could not share his life completely?

He stopped breathing as that word filtered through his mind. Love. Was he really in love?

His thoughts had come full circle. Was it possible Fate had a hand in his life too, putting Gavin in his path at just the right moment and arranging the perfect union? Would Fate put humans in the path of shifters? Apparently, She’d done so before, and She had a mind of her own that could not be questioned.

Dale stared into space, only half aware of his grip on the contract. He glanced down. Was it a coincidence he was faced with this life-changing decision the same week he’d met a man he would give his life for?

He must have really been lost in thought because two things caught his attention at the same time. Gavin was standing behind him instead of asleep on the couch, and a car was pulling up his driveway.

Gavin set his hands on Dale’s shoulders. His voice was soft. “I didn’t mean to snoop, but you’ve been in a sort of trance. That’s a job proposal, isn’t it?”

Dale released the packet slowly and tipped his cheek against Gavin’s hand. “Yeah.”

“They’re serious.”

“Apparently.”

“You considering it?”

Dale inhaled as he closed his eyes. “The devil is about to arrive.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means George is getting out of his car out front.” He turned his head, smiling.

Gavin rolled his eyes. “I see. I’ll let him in.” He padded across the room to the front door and opened it.

Dale wondered if he was still as worried about being questioned by the council. Probably.

George nodded at Gavin as he stepped inside, his face grim. He eyed Dale from across the room. “There’s a situation.”

Dale rose to his feet, fear crawling up his spine. “What is it?” He prodded into George’s mind, but council members had an incredible blocking ability.

“Two missing people. They’ve been gone for three days. We’ve exhausted our abilities.”

This was when Dale noticed the computer bag slung over George’s shoulder. Scratch that. Two computer bags. Instinctively Dale knew they belonged to the two missing people. “Human or shifter?”

“Shifters. They’re from a few hours north of here. Both eighteen. Freshman at the local university. Disappeared in the night from their dorm rooms on Friday.”

Fuck. So young.

Gavin picked up the scattered papers in front of Dale and set them across the table. He shut Dale’s laptop and removed it. He nudged Dale to sit back in the chair next. “Guess you better get to work.”

Dale stared at George. “I don’t do this sort of thing anymore. Surely someone else can do it. You have others.” His hands shook. What if he failed?

George approached, opening the first bag to remove a computer and setting it on the table as if there were no question about what would happen next. “Exhausted all others, Dale. I need you. We need you. These girls need you. Their parents. The community. The university.”

Dale took another step back, trying not to hyperventilate. It was one thing to locate Paige on Saturday. It was an entirely different thing to allow himself to be dragged back into this world. A world of fear and sorrow and death. And sometimes life.

Gavin was suddenly at Dale’s side before Dale realized he’d been gone. He set a glass of water on the table, one hand on Dale’s forearm. “Sit,” he urged gently.

The shaking took over, a flush covering Dale’s face. What if I fail? he thought again.

George sat in the closest chair, making himself comfortable.

The shaking turned into anger. Dale fisted his hands, an overwhelming sense of helplessness making him vulnerable as if his skin were wide open for everyone to see that he was nobody. Just a hacker. Not a god. Not someone who could fix things and change lives. Not even a good Dom. He felt like a fraud.

Gavin’s voice was firm. “Pull it together, man. These girls need your help.”

Dale stepped back away from the table, stiff. “And someone else can goddamn do this. Not me.” He shook his head vehemently. “Not anymore. I left this life. I don’t do this sort of thing anymore.”

George interrupted, his gaze on Gavin. His words were pointedly aimed at Dale though, both out loud and in his head at the same time. “You didn’t tell him, did you? He doesn’t know.”

A throbbing pain formed behind Dale’s right eye. He wanted to grab his superior by the neck and strangle him. His face heated to the point that he thought he might explode. He couldn’t have spoken out loud if he wanted to. His lips wouldn’t move. So he shouted his response into George’s mind. “How dare you interfere in my private life like this? You don’t get to choose what I tell my partners.”

George defiantly spoke out loud. “Just like you don’t get to toss two young girls lives aside like they don’t even matter? I know you’re angry. I get that. We’ve given you time and space. Five years. Long enough. We’ve managed without you. But now you need to pull it together and come back. You have a gift. You don’t have the right to throw it away.”

“I have every right. I have free will.”

“You have PTSD.”

Dale was half aware that Gavin was watching this interchange, but luckily he was gracious enough to remain silent. “So what? So what if I do? All the more reason.”

“So you’d let two girls die because you’re too stubborn to even try?”

“What if I try and they die anyway?”

“What if you succeed?” George shouted. His demeanor changed then, his shoulders lowering as his face calmed. “You will lose sometimes. You lost a few when you worked for us before. But I’m begging you to remember the elation of the times you won. The feeling you had when you witnessed parents reunited with children, mates brought back together, runaways found, injured shifters alive.”

Gavin cleared his throat. “He’s right. I don’t know all the details. You obviously have secrets you’re still hiding from me.” He flinched subtly. “But I don’t care. Your people need you. It’s time to step back up to the plate. You took a break. A long fucking break. Now you’re back. I know you’ve been through hell. I get that you’re fucking scared. And you won’t win every time. Sometimes the bad guys win, but you don’t have a choice.”

Dale looked at his lover. “If I do this, we’re over.”

George sighed.

“If you don’t do this, we’re over,” Gavin stated. He didn’t even blink. “I can’t be with someone who would let two girls’ lives hang in the balance because he’s too scared of failure to at least try.”

The wind was knocked out of Dale’s lungs. He couldn’t even inhale. His mouth hung open. He finally licked his lips. “I’m in love with you.” He turned toward George, pleading his case. “I can’t take this chance. It’s too risky. There are no guarantees that whoever took those girls won’t come after Gavin when I piss them off. And I can’t protect Gavin because of some archaic law that says he can’t be changed into a shifter.” The words choked out of him.

Dale turned back to face Gavin. “It’s too risky. Can’t you see? You would never be safe. I would always be afraid of losing you.”

George said nothing.

Gavin said everything. “You’ve already lost me.” He turned around and left the room, disappearing down the hall.

Dale’s heart raced while the best thing that had ever happened to him slipped away, and there was nothing he could do to stop him.

Except sit his ass down and open the damn computer.

“The clock is ticking,” George pointed out.

Dale breathed hard. In. Out. In. He jerked the chair away from the table, not lifting his gaze as Gavin walked back into the great room and headed straight for the front door.

Dale was still shaking as he opened the computer.

George pushed to standing. “I’ll talk to Gavin.”

“Thank you.” Those were the last coherent words Dale spoke before he ducked into the world he was best at and did the thing he knew better than anyone else alive.