CHAPTER ONE

Ellis

 

I hate being weak. I hate being needy even more.

Still, there’s nothing more annoying than listening to York talk dirty to Azan. I swear to God, she has one of the filthiest mouths I’ve ever heard, making it almost impossible to keep a straight face around Hujun lately. I’m sure if I’ve become more of a prude lately, but her voice literally causes the hairs on my arm and neck to stand at attention. It’s not York’s fault. Things have been more intense since the incident around Christmas. Lately, I’m always relieved when York and Azan go off to their cave beyond the lair because York screams. It’s not that I don’t like things rough, but I’m still recovering from what’s happened, and sometimes York sounds like the sex isn’t consensual.

I have to remember that’s not the case.

Azan’s pleasuring York because she wants him to.

Blythe’s pleasuring an alien prince between pregnant puke sessions because sex is one of the only things she still enjoys.

What’s even more annoying is that until a few weeks ago the Sidyths on Hethdiss didn’t even seem like anything special. That was until I was reminded of how Sidyths behave on their homeworld.

York lets out a loud moan that reaches my ears all the way back at the main lair opening. I wince slightly, curling into myself as I try to keep the painful memories at bay. The alien standing next to me shifts his massive body, noticing my minor distress.

Immediately, memories of Yayk’s hands fade. But only slightly.

“Human women are loud.” Hujun lowers his chin.

I swallow hard as Hujun shifts to find my eyes. He knows he can keep me centered if I simply focus on his eyes. But damn, I always forget how small I am next to him until he all but bends at his knees so we can talk. Loud noises startle me lately, even when we’re all alone so he keeps his voice low and even. Not an incredible feat considering how low his voice is to begin with, but I appreciate it just the same. Hujun’s dark yellow eyes dance across my face, and I try to stop the trembles from appearing. Plus, it’s hard not to think there’s something sexual behind his gaze. I want a sexual gaze on me. But only him. No one else.

After everything that’s happened, I don’t want another man to touch me ever again.

Except for the one beside me who stands a few inches over seven feet tall.

Despite keeping my focus on Hujun, I can’t stop my mind from wandering. Lately, it’s all too easy to lose my breath in things I want and things that I fear.

I hate what Blythe and York have gotten easily.

I hate wanting Hujun so bad I could cry.

I hate how scared I am for the first time Hujun does decided that he wants me.

The steady thrumming in my heart picks it up a notch and I swear Hujun’s tasting the air around me. He must smell my fear. He knows how much I want him, but he also knows how shook up and fucked up I am after what happened before Christmas.

Still.

Despite all this mental turmoil, I want to have sex with the massive Sidyth standing before me.

Some of the other women on this assignment – better known as the Human Whore Tour – crack jokes about how ugly Hujun is, but they can all kiss my tiny, brown ass. They don’t know him the way I do. Hujun’s beautiful, if not a little intimidating to look at. People say he’s too big, but being a few inches shy of five feet tall, everyone already looks huge to me. And Hujun keeps me safe. Some the pushier Sidyths have viewed my size as a weakness and think they can push me to do things I’m not comfortable doing. A few punches to the groin taught some a lesson, but not enough because now Hujun rarely leaves my side.

It’s not his fault. He thinks what happened to me is his fault, but it’s not. It’s mine.

And though sometimes I hate that he only watches over me as a favor to Prince Korben – the leader of the exiled Sidyths on Hethdiss – I’m glad Hujun kept his promise.

If not for him, I might be dead.

 

Promised is coming soon