Saturday, June 23
(Scout)
Paxton and I are standing on the sidewalk outside baggage claim. The local time is nine-thirty in the morning and the Minneapolis air is already hot and sticky.
I text Gus while we wait: Just landed in MN. Where are you?
His response is immediate: We'll be in Grant around noon. You might want to put your panties in your purse now. Just to save time.
ME: Already done. I'm efficient. ;)
GUS: And horny.
ME: Yes.
GUS: Moist?
ME: That too.
GUS: Me too. I love you.
ME: I love you too.
Paxton keeps adjusting the straps on his backpack. He's fidgety and I don't know if he's just excited to see Gus and Rook play tonight, or if he's nervous about seeing his dad again. They haven't talked in months. Paxton won't take his calls anymore.
I hear the labored roar of the engine before I see the old, battered green Suburban pull up to the curb. This must be Duncan. The car is exactly as Keller described it: rusty and beat-up, with one red door. I wave at him so he's knows it's us.
He waves back through the windshield and pulls up to the curb next to us. I ride in the front passenger seat and as I climb in about to introduce myself, Paxton calls out from the backseat, "Right On! Beanbags."
I know I didn't hear that right, so I continue. "You must be Duncan."
He smiles. "I am. And you must be the infamous Scout and Paxton." His shaggy hair and bushy beard are the same deep, vivid red as Stella's.
"We are." It's then that I turn and look at Paxton in the backseat. He hasn't heard a word that either of us has said. He's looking down with a smile on his face that I don't think I've seen since he was seven or eight. And he's not sitting on a seat.
He looks up and the smile grows and he repeats what I didn't think I heard correctly the first time. "Beanbags. This is genius."
"Right?" Duncan comments as he pulls back out into traffic. "Way more comfortable than traditional seating."
Paxton wiggles around in his seat as if to prove the point. "Way more comfortable," he agrees.
The ride to Grant doesn't take long. The conversation is easy between the three of us and before I know it we're parked in front of a coffee shop.
Duncan kills the engine. "Keller won't be home from Stella's ballet practice for another half hour, so we've got a little time to kill. Come on in. I'll buy you guys a cup of coffee."
"I could use some caffeine this morning. Thanks." I don't know if I'm tired because I didn't sleep much last night, or if it's the adrenaline I've been cranked up on all morning that's dragging me down. Either way, I need caffeine.
When Duncan pushes the oversized wooden door open, a bell rings. It's loud and it startles me. "What the hell?" I didn't mean to say that out loud, but Duncan laughs good-naturedly.
"Small town Minnesotans kind of have a thing for bells." He shrugs.
I'm laughing now. It's stunned laughter, because it's impossible that small bell made that much noise. I point to my right ear. "I'm deaf in this ear and I'm pretty sure that registered."
He chuckles by way of introduction. "Welcome to Grounds."
It's cozy. There's a small loveseat sitting in front of fireplace that I bet is great during the winter, and a few small tables and chairs. The building is old and has character. It's inviting. It's the kind of place that makes you want to sit down and hang out. "Cool place."
Duncan nods. "Yeah, it is. Home away from home. Keller works here early mornings and he and Stella live in the room out back."
"Duncan, I see you brought friends." A friendly voice with a thick accent calls out and draws my attention to the man behind the counter.
"Rome, how goes it today?"
The man behind the counter salutes Duncan before he responds. "I am well. And you?"
"Livin' the dream, man. Livin' the dream." And when he says it, I get the idea that he means it. Some people are just so sincere that it's the first thing you notice when you meet them. That's Duncan. He's just a really nice guy. "These are my new friends, Scout and Paxton. They're visiting from California."
"Ah, California. Beautiful. You must be Keller's friends. He said he had company coming in today. I'm Romero."
"It's nice to meet you, Romero. Yeah, we're just here for the concert tonight," I offer.
"Of course. Keller mentioned it. Kate's friend's band, yes?" He's looking at Duncan for confirmation.
He nods. "Yup, they're good, man. You should come check 'em out with us."
Romero smiles sheepishly. "I'm too old for that, niño. But I've heard them. Keller played me some songs. Kate was singing and playing violin. She was something, wasn't she? One of a kind, that girl. Such a tragedy."
Every time someone says something about Kate, it makes me wish I could've known her. So much love surrounds her memory and those that knew her have nothing but the most positive things to say about her. I know her friendship is one of the reasons Gus is the man he is, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.
Duncan nods. "She was. And she had Keller's heart."
Romero smiles lovingly. "That girl changed Keller. Woke him up. I'm so proud of him." He sounds like a father.
Duncan agrees, and it's so nice to hear people supportive of their friends. "Me too, Rome." Duncan looks at us. "Pick your poison. I'm paying. Rome's got the best coffee around. House blend's legendary."
I order a small house blend while Paxton looks over the menu. He settles on a mocha macchiato and looks blissfully happy while he's drinking it. We aren't seated on the loveseat long before Stella comes bounding in from behind the counter. "Where's Gus?" she calls out.
I turn and she's scanning the busy coffee shop. "Hi, Stella. He's not here yet. Soon though."
She runs over and, after she high fives Duncan, crawls up in my lap. "Hi, Scout."
God, she's the cutest little thing I've ever seen. "Hi, Stella. How was ballet?" She's still wearing her pale pink tights and leotard.
"Miss Toler was kind of a grumpy gorilla today because Amy and Ashley didn't have their listening ears on. Again." She rolls her eyes. "It's so much easier for all of us when they just do what they're told."
Duncan's smirking and trying to hold back laughter. "The twins being naughty again, huh?"
It's like watching an adult trapped in a little person's body. "They're so frustrating, Uncle Duncan. I wish they'd just grow up already."
He's still smirking, but he matches her serious tone. "There's always a stinky one in every bunch, Stella. Sometimes two. That's life, big girl. Welcome to the real world."
"Stinky people suck," she mutters as she crawls back down off my lap and takes my hand. "Let's go see Miss Higgins."
I follow her behind the counter and through a door, with Paxton and Duncan trailing after us. Keller's place is on the other side. It's small, but it's homey.
Keller welcomes us with a wave when we walk through the door; he's talking on his phone.
After I meet Miss Higgins and Keller finishes up his phone call, Gus texts me. We're about 20 minutes away. Meet us at the auditorium?
I know I saw him only six days ago, but my heart's already racing in my chest thinking about being near him. I answer: Will do.
Gus: I love you.
Scout: I love you too.
I ride with Keller in his car and Stella and Paxton ride with Duncan in the Suburban. And when the bus pulls into the lot I don't know who's more excited to see Gus: me, Stella, Paxton, or Keller.
He's the first one off the bus and Stella is right there to greet him. Seeing him with her in his arms warms my heart. Kids love him and he's so good with them. He's gentle and kind, they gravitate to him. He'll be the best dad someday.
After he sets Stella down, he hugs Paxton. I'm close enough that I can hear part of their conversation. "I've been talking to your dad, dude. I know he's not perfect, but he loves you. You need to talk to him. Hear him out. He knows he fucked up."
Paxton nods before he lets go of Gus.
And now Gus's eyes are on me and he's wearing the smile that he only wears for me. "How's Minnesota treating you, sweetheart?"
I practically curl up into his arms. "Hot. Sticky."
He interrupts me. "Is that a come-on? It's working."
"It's actually pretty wonderful here. Lots of nice people."
He hugs me tight. "You just wait. More nice people to come. Today's gonna be epic."
Keller's next in line for Gus. And when they hug each other it's not your average guy hug. They hold on. It's the kind of hug that's more like a conversation, words passed back and forth, an understanding between two people who share a common bond. And when that bond is love, it makes it even more powerful.
"Traveling in style, I see," Keller says pointing at the bus.
"No complaints, dude. Except that the bunk across the aisle is a little too empty." He looks at me and winks.
"I'm glad you're here. It's good to see you. You guys need anything before we go eat? You need a shower or some coffee? We can stop by my place on the way."
Gus smells his pits. "Nah, fresh as a daisy, dude. Let's go eat. I'm starving."
The band and Paxton ride with Duncan, because the allure of the beanbags is too strong to be ignored. You haven't lived until you've witnessed four grown men absolutely giddy about riding in the back of a moving vehicle on beanbags. I took video. It could go viral.
Jim, Gus, and I ride with Keller and Stella. Gus seems pretty at ease around Jim, which is a nice change from last summer when just being in the same room with both of them at the same time was difficult. Back then, their dislike for each other was so evident it was almost unbearable. I think they've both changed. Jim catches me up on everything that's going on with Jane. When I talk to her these days she doesn't want to talk about her recovery, and I don't pry, so it's nice to get the details I've been worrying about. She's doing better, thanks to intensive therapy and counseling. It gives my heart some peace where she's concerned.
We end up at a bar called Red Lion Road. Keller bartends here on Friday nights so he knows everyone and they already have several tables put together for us in the back.
After the pizza, pitchers of beer, and sodas for me, Paxton, and Stella are ordered, everyone settles into easy conversation.
And then, over the next several hours, the group grows.
The first to join us is a tall woman about my age. When she walks through the door I can't take my eyes off her. She's striking with her black hair, dark eyes, and curvy body, but she's got this presence about her. It's the first thing you notice. It's almost intimidating, like you know you'd better give this woman respect. It's just the way she carries herself.
Duncan stands and meets her before she gets to the table. He kisses her. And when he does she smiles and everything about her softens. This must be his fiancée, Shelly.
Before she takes a seat next to Duncan at the other end of table, she waves. "Hey, everyone." Her voice is low and raspy, and it suits her perfectly.
Gus raises his beer in greeting. "Shelly! Drink up, girl. I've got money on you tonight. Distance. It's all about distance."
Her cheeks flame red. "Hey, Gus. I'm limiting the booze intake tonight to manageable levels, dude."
"Well hell. You're no fun anymore. I thought shit was about to get real," he teases.
She smirks. "Oh, I didn't say I wasn't gonna have fun. I'm just gonna have fun that doesn't involve projectile vomiting in the parking lot at the end of the night."
Gus pushes his chair back and holds his beer up. "I'd like to make a toast. Rumor has it a wedding is in the near future. Congrats to Duncan and Shelly."
Everyone raises their glasses and joins in with their congratulations.
Shelly keeps her glass raised. "And congratulations to Rook on the new album. It's freaking sick. You outdid yourselves. Can't wait for the show tonight." She's a fan, that wasn't put on. I like this girl.
And before there's time to make an introduction, two more pairs join us. A small, adorable guy in a quirky outfit and a tall, dark, well-dressed man walk in holding hands. Despite their obvious differences—they look like exact opposites—they work together. They fit together. It makes me smile because they look so comfortable with each other. With them are a conservative looking younger guy and his slightly meek looking girlfriend. They're just normal. Not that normal's a bad thing at all. But in the group of characters I'm surrounded by at the moment, normal stands out. They're both very quiet, but friendly. Introductions are made. Clayton and Morris flew in from L.A. for the show. And Peter and Evelyn go to school here at the college Keller goes to. I learn that Clayton and Peter were roommates and lived across the hall from Kate in the dorms. And Shelly worked with Kate at a flower shop.
And then the stories begin. This day is all about Kate and her memory. Everyone at the table, with the exception of me, Paxton, and Jim, knew her and loved her. It's heartwarming to listen to their stories and amazing to think that some of them only knew her for a few short months, especially Keller. The friendships were deep and meaningful and the love was so real. The laughter is genuine and constant, and the smiles only grow as each person shares their memories. There's no sadness here; it's all positive, all pure joy. She touched so many people.
Time flies and when Jim reluctantly announces that it's four o'clock and time for soundcheck, I'm shocked. He doesn't want to break up the fun everyone is having, I can tell he feels a little bad about it, but it needs to be done. They need to get to work.
Keller lets me, Gus, and the band take his car to the auditorium. Paxton and Jim stay behind to talk. I'm glad, it needs to happen. It's long overdue.
As I sit through soundcheck, I'm regretting the fact that I didn't take advantage of this last summer when I was on tour with them. Now it feels like a missed opportunity.
I don't miss opportunities anymore. Ever. Life is about living every moment. Doing what I want and need to do. No more hiding. No more hesitation. Just living.
Gus stops in the middle of a song to answer his phone, which is strange. He talks for only a few seconds and then calls out to me through the microphone. "Scout, there's a VIP at the front door. Can you go ask someone to let him in?"
I nod and jump down from the railing I'm sitting on.
When I get to the front doors and get an employee to unlock it, I find Gustov standing on the other side with a violin case in one hand and a small travel bag in the other.
He sets them down and wraps me in a hug. "Scout. So good to see you again, young lady."
"Hi, Gustov. I didn't know you were coming."
He chuckles. "Well, it was all a bit last minute, but I couldn't say no, now could I? It's going to be a special night."
(Gus)
Seeing Gustov walk up to the stage with his violin case in hand chokes me up a little. Not with sadness, but with the happiness you feel in your chest when you see an old friend. All I can say is, "Thanks for coming, maestro."
He nods his head. "I'm honored, my boy. It's been a long time coming, the two of us playing together. I'll do my best to do her memory proud."
I called Gustov last week and asked him if he'd come to Grant and play violin with us on "Missing You" and "Finish Me." He agreed without hesitation, even though it meant missing a performance tonight in Boston.
He's never played with us before, so we don't waste any time running through both songs a few times. The guy never ceases to amaze me with his playing, he's flawless. I'm humbled to be standing here playing with him.
We're set to go on in five minutes. And I'm nervous. For the first time all tour, I'm nervous. This is a big night. This is by far the smallest crowd we'll play to, only about five hundred people, but they're all amped. It's going to be fun. I'm in the shadows just off stage watching the crowd, mainly looking for Scout. She's standing in the front row with her I make Gus moist T-shirt on next to Paxton and surrounded by Keller and all of Bright Side's friends. She hasn't stopped smiling all day. She always smiles these days, which I love. But her smile today is different. She knows how important this is to me and she wants to share it with me. There's not a jealous bone in her body. She knows how much I loved Bright Side, but she also knows that doesn't take away from the love I feel for her. My heart's big enough for both of them. Bright Side helped make me the man I am, and Scout helped me remember who that man was, helping me become my own person. I love her so much.
Someone rests their hand on my shoulder. "You okay, big man?" It's Franco.
I nod. "I'm good, dude. I'm so good."
He sees me looking at Scout. "It's not fair, you know?"
I turn and look at him. "What's not fair?"
He gestures with his chin to Scout. "That a dipshit like you gets all the badass chicks."
I can't help but laugh. "I know, right? I'm one lucky dipshit."
And then he's serious. "You're not a dipshit, Gus. You're my best friend and the best person I know. Badasses attract badasses. You're kinda perfect for each other."
We're interrupted by Jim; I've stopped calling him Hitler now that he's stopped acting like a first-class douche. He's got a lot of shit on his plate and he's trying to do better and I'm trying to support that. "You've got less than a minute before you go on," he says. "Have a great show, guys."
I take my guitar from Slim, one of our roadies. He's wearing a Gus makes me moist T-shirt. I think Franco pays him to do it just to embarrass me. "Go show 'em how it's done, Gus." He says it before every show. I like hearing it.
"I'll do my best, dude." It's the same response I give him every time. And I mean it. Every time. "Let's do this," I call out to the rest of the band. And we take the stage.
The crowd is raging already. Pumped up from the opening band and ready to party.
As the stage lights come up, the cheers erupt. I scan the front row and see all of the familiar faces lined up and I feel like they've all got my back. When I get to Scout, I wink. And then I address the masses. "What's up, Grant?!" They cheer louder if that's even possible. "It's good to be back. It's been a while. What do you say we make up for lost time and have some fun tonight?"
We lead in with "Redemption." The crowd's into it. They know the song. They're singing along with me. What a great way to kick off the night.
And for the next two hours, we play. Normally our set is about half that length, but tonight's special and we're playing everything we've got, including a few covers that Bright Side loved.
We saved Gustov for the finale. I motion for the crowd to quiet down. "How many of you were here with us the last time we played this auditorium?" The cheers tell me over half of them. "Well, if you were, you had the privilege of seeing my best friend perform with us. Kate Sedgwick was an unbelievably talented woman. She could sing her ass off and she played violin like nobody I've ever seen. We lost her a year and half ago. Cancer. Which really fucking sucks. I know she's here tonight with us in spirit. She's watching and listening, so I just want to say, we miss you every day, Bright Side. And tonight? This was all for you. All about you. Someone very special flew a very long way this afternoon to play with us on these next two songs. Maestro, come on out."
Gustov walks on from the left side of the stage and takes a seat on the edge of the chair that's been set up for him behind a microphone. He looks composed and professional as always. When he's comfortable, he nods at me and smiles. This feels so right. I'm so glad he's here.
I point at Gustov. "This dude is way out of our league, but we're gonna do our best to keep up with him." I look up. "Bright Side, these are for you. Love you."
The intro to "Finish Me" is all Gustov. It fills the entire stage with an eerie, sorrowful melody. It drives me. I feel like I'm back in the studio with Bright Side when we recorded this song—minus the anguish. I've got my big boy pants on and playing and singing the lyrics are like an out-of-body experience. Inspiration like this is so rare; I give in to it and turn myself over to the music. The song transitions into "Missing You," and Gustov is on fire. He's making that instrument sing with me. It's incredible and draws all of the emotion out of me until I'm happily, and willingly, bleeding out on this stage. When his violin falls silent, and the song is over, I need to take a few deep breaths, both to balance the adrenaline coursing through me and slow my heart rate. He nods first to me and then to the audience. "Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this. Kate was a very special young lady. I hope I did her justice." With that he stands and bows, and the crowd roars.
"Wow." I had to say that out loud, because I'm blown away. The last seven minutes of my life is something I'll never forget. I shake my head to clear it. "Let's give it up again for the motherfucking genius." Gustov bows again and walks offstage. I look back at Franco. I'm still stunned, lost in the dream-like state this performance has taken on. "Did that seriously just happen?"
Franco looks as in awe as I feel. He nods slowly and that gives way to full-on belly laughter and I can't help but join him. You know how sometimes something happens and it's so much more than you ever expected? The type of so much more that leaves you speechless and thinking what the hell just happened? And all you can do is laugh because you're so astounded you don't know what else to do? That is exactly what's happening. And I'm glad Franco's in this with me; otherwise I would think I finally lost my mind.
When I stop laughing, I turn back to the audience. "We've got one more song," I say. "We're gonna kill the sun. I need help. I want you all to be as loud as you can and sing with me. Seriously, I want to wake neighboring states. That kind of fucking loud." I look down at Pax and smile. "This one's for you, Pax."
What happens next is five hundred people coming together. The volume is deafening. I think every person in the place is singing along with me. This is, by far, the best crowd of the tour yet, maybe ever. I stretch the guitar solo out to twice its normal length, because I don't want to say good-bye to this night. I'm living the song. Living what it stands for. Wishing I could kill the sun and just hold on to this moment.
The crowd, when we're done, cheers for a solid ten minutes. That's a lot of love.
The Bright Side posse meets us out back by the bus. I thank them all for coming and celebrating with us and say good-bye to each one. It's almost midnight, but our bus isn't leaving until noon. I begged Jim for some extra time here and he's giving it to me. We play Des Moines tomorrow night and it's only a couple hours' drive away.
After I thank Gustov again, I call him a cab and pre-pay to the airport so he can catch his redeye flight back home to Boston.
Keller hugs me last. "Great show, man. Really, I mean it. You guys are the best thing going out there. Katie would be so proud of you."
"Thanks for being here, dude."
He drops his car keys in my hand. "I'm catching a ride back with Dunc. Paxton's coming with us and crashing at my place. I reserved you a room at the Hampton Inn here in Grant. I know you probably haven't had any time alone with Scout in a couple of months. You both need that. Tell her to just come to my place after she drops you off here in the morning. I'll get her and Paxton to the airport."
I'm looking at the keys in my hand and the generous friend standing in front of me. I don't know what to say. There's so much I want to tell him, but no words ... and no time. So I say, "Thank you, dude." And I mean it. God, do I mean it.
Scout's confused when we get in Keller's car alone, but she doesn't say anything.
She's even more confused when we arrive at the hotel. She's still not talking.
"Come on, sweetheart. Keller got us a room."
She smiles and it's reluctant hope. Almost like she's afraid to believe it's true, because she wants this so badly.
I check in and get the key card and we head to the room. She looks deep in thought.
Behind closed doors, she finally speaks up. "Gus?"
"Yeah?"
"I've learned a lot about life these past few months. Living life ... really living it ... is work. It's exhausting if you're doing it right. If you're out there making the most of every day. Every minute. Every second. Because out there in the middle of the chaos, that's where you find the beauty. That's where you find the reward. And watching you tonight, babe? It was beauty in the middle of chaos. So damn beautiful. I was in awe. It was incredible. I mean, you're always amazing, but tonight was special. Everyone felt it."
I smile to myself. "Fuck yeah, it is work. But that's where the beauty comes in. It manifests itself when effort's made. I'm in this, Girl Scout. Totally immersed in life now. Tonight was definitely different, like once-in-a-lifetime different. I'm so stoked you were there." I tip her head back so I can taste her lips. "And just so you know, you're my reward." The kissing escalates quickly, because I can't help myself. But after a few seconds I pull away. "I need to shower. I sweat like a fiend tonight."
She smiles against my lips. "You're sexy sweaty."
Which makes me smile. "I'm sexier naked."
She helps me pull my T-shirt up and over my head. "True."
I reach for the hem of her T-shirt and return the favor. "Nice shirt," I say, before pulling it off.
She raises her eyebrows seductively. "They're good. I should probably tell you now that I've got a thing for the lead singer. I took off my panties and put them in my purse just hoping I'd run into him."
I unbutton and unzip her jeans and sure enough, no panties. "Shit. You mean, you've been freebuffing all day and I didn't know? Damn." I slide her jeans down her legs and she steps out of them.
She gives the answer that's become an inside joke between us. "I thought it would save time."
When I'm down to only my underwear and she's standing in front of me in only a sheer ivory bra, I stop and lace my fingers with hers and stare into her eyes. And I speak from my heart. "I love you."
"I love you, too, babe." Every time she calls me "babe" it takes my breath away.
"I want to go slow. I want to enjoy this. Can I just hold you for a few minutes before I get in the shower? I miss you."
I take her arms and wrap them around my neck. And when her body meets mine and her ear comes to rest against my collarbone, everything in the world just feels right. I rest my hands on her hips first, because I just want to touch her. My palms are warm against her skin. The scars on her right side are a different sensation than the smooth skin on her left, but I love them both. It only takes seconds before the smooth skin gives way to goosebumps, and it makes me smile because I know she's not cold; she's reacting to my touch. My hands start their journey to the base of her spine. Once there, my fingertips trace the curve of her ass and she shivers against me. My palms find themselves flat against her skin again and they make their way up her back. When the tips of my fingers meet resistance, I stop. They're brushing the fabric of her bra. I ball my fists and take a deep breath fighting the urge to unclasp it just yet. Unfurling my fingers I glide them under the thin straps and continue upward toward her shoulder blades. I'm restrained by the strap to any further travel north, so I head back down south dragging my palms with added pressure along the way. She's all lean muscle covered by a thin, womanly layer of softness. I rub my hand slowly back and forth across the scarring on her right side, lightly at first but with added intensity as she relaxes into me. I'm trying to show her that every part of her is perfect, without saying a word.
I skim my hands down over her ass, and though they want so badly to hang out there for a long while, they continue down the backs of her thighs until I can get a get a good grasp and hoist her up. Her long legs instinctively wrap around my back.
Once in place, three things happens instantaneously: I wrap my arms around her, one hand holding her ass cheek in my palm, the other cradling the nape of her neck; I'm so fucking hard it's blissfully painful; and she kisses me.
And this kiss ...
Jesus Christ.
Her tongue flirts with my lips before diving in and when it does, she teases me. Licking lightly before retreating, leaving me to chase her. I part her lips and waste no time making my intentions known. I'm going to be hers tonight. Her safe place. Her protector. Her friend. And her lover.
I'm going to be hers.
The possessive strokes of her tongue, the nips at my bottom lip, the gentle kisses followed by the sinful pull of my skin at the crook of my neck in between her lips ... it's heaven. I'm so focused on her mouth and the amazing things it's doing to me that it takes a second for me to catch up when her hips start moving, rolling in and out like the waves.
Damn, she feels good.
Her hands are in my hair now. It was pulled back in a loose ponytail but she slipped the elastic tie off and it's knotted up in her hands now. She knows that's one of my biggest turn-ons. I love it when she winds my hair around her hands like reins and takes charge; it's sexy as all hell.
The pace of everything has notched up. Her breathing. Her hips. Her moaning. Her intensity.
She's so fucking close and I want nothing more than to watch her come undone in my arms.
I shift my hold on her so that one hand is supporting her around her lower back while the other hand slips down from behind. My middle finger splits her and runs back to front, front to back. Back to front, front to back, until she's begging me. "I need to feel you inside me, babe. Please."
I suck at her neck teasingly, before kissing it softly. "Be patient, Impatient. We've got all night."
She's writhing under my touch. She's there, she just won't let go. "Please, Gus."
I'm taking my time because this just got all kinds of sexy. My hair's still reined up in her fists. She's on the cusp of a mind-blowing orgasm. She's pleading for sex as I'm nibbling at her earlobe. And my fingers just slipped inside her. "Better?"
"Oh ... God ... " she pants. Pleasure's set her hand in motion. It's snaking between us, pushing down my underwear until the top few inches of me is exposed against her belly. The sensation of skin on skin ... damn.
"Fuck. Me." My fingers are beating out the steady rhythm that her body is demanding.
"No. Fuck me, Gus." That wasn't begging. That was telling. If there's such a thing as verbal fucking, that was just it. The tone, the words, the force, the sound of her voice ...
It was fucking.
Her breasts have my attention now. They're spilling out of her tiny bra. Hiking her up in my arms, I waste no time in taking the triangle of sheer fabric on the left side in my teeth and tugging it up until her breast falls free beneath it. I'm only moments into fondling her tight, hardened nipple with my tongue and teeth when she hits the roof.
Her mouth is open in a scream against my shoulder. And because her lips have formed a seal there's not much noise ... but I feel every sound wave pulse through me. Resonating in me. Reverberating. It's like music.
When she falls still in my arms, she smiles sheepishly. "Was I loud?"
I can only imagine what that scream felt like tearing through her if I felt it tearing through me. I shake my head. "Loud? Nope. Sexy? Hell. Yes." I set her down and drop my underwear to my ankles before removing her bra.
On the way to the bathroom, she says, "I can't believe we get to stay here tonight." It's an innocent, but excited declaration that makes her sound half her age. Totally carefree. It's cute.
"I know, I fucking love sleepovers," I tease. I do love sleepovers with Scout, though.
She laughs at me.
"Especially when there's no sleeping involved."
She laughs again, but it quickly fades and her eyes settle in to that dark, lust-filled space. That space that has my groin throbbing. I turn toward her until our bodies are touching but I don't wrap my arms around her. Instead I lower my mouth to her ear and I talk. I don't whisper. I don't even lower my voice. "I'm going to take you up on your offer now."
"You are? What are you going to do exactly, Mr. Hawthorne?"
Damn, the devil may live inside this woman. That was sexy. "You said you wanted me to fuck you. I'm gonna take you in the shower with me and we're gonna fuck. Then I'm gonna make love to you in that bed until the sun comes up."
The side of her mouth tips up. "That sounds exhausting. Good thing I run marathons. Lots of stamina."
I bring her hand to my cock as we step into the shower. "He's got plenty of stamina. Trust me."
While I'm turning on the water she goes down on me, which she's never done before. And fucking hell, the things she can do with her mouth. And as good as it feels, I want more. Of her. I pull out and urge her to stand, backing her into the wall while pressing up against her. God, she feels so good.
She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls one leg up and around me, and I'm buried deep within her in seconds. There's absolutely no restraint. We're loud. We're demanding. We're so fucking physical. My hair's wound up in her hands again. It's been weeks since we've been together like this, with this kind of privacy. Usually it's a quickie on the bus after the show before she leaves to get back home. But tonight? Tonight I'm going to worship her repeatedly.
Her hips and mine were made for this. She knows my body like no one else. She knows what I like. She pays attention to my reactions when she tries something new and she can make my body fucking sing.
And I'm always doing the same for her.
When we can't hold back anymore, we fall into oblivion together. My final surge is so deep. I'm pulsing into her and she's got me wrapped up tight in her own release.
When we separate, she grins at me, still panting. "I think I just fell in love with Grant."
I can't help but grin back. "I'm still a San Diego boy at heart, but I'm pretty sure Grant's my new favorite place on the planet. I fucking love it here. The shower sex is phenomenal. It even comes with oral, added bonus."
After we dry off, I lead her to the bed and kiss her once. The kiss is a promise of what's to come. "Lie down on your belly."
Without hesitation she does. She's so trusting. So open. So confident.
I crawl up the bed until I'm straddling her thighs and I lower myself down on her back. I'm supporting most of my weight with an arm resting on either side of her. "You are so beautiful."
Her cheek's resting on the comforter and she's looking at me out of the corner of her eye through her hair. I brush the hair back from her cheek. "You're nice," she says to accept the compliment.
I grind myself into her backside. "I'm also a beast in the sack."
"Is that a threat or a promise?" The chitchat is over. She means business.
"Oh, it's a promise. Close your eyes. I just want you to feel me, because I'm about to worship you." I kiss her cheek and then I begin the slow process of kissing and massaging every square inch of her back. She keeps her eyes closed and I know she's in the moment. When I lower my body over her again I focus all my attention on her ear and neck. Trailing kisses up and down. Nibbling, sucking, biting. My cock is nestled in the shallow crevice of her ass and I can't stop myself from initiating a little friction because it feels so damn good. In no time, my hips are rocking like I'm buried inside her. I slide my hand under her and she gasps when my fingers find the right spot.
"You're so fucking wet. I love it."
She answers, but not with words. She reaches around behind me and grabs ahold of my upper thigh and squeezes. Her nails dig in with need and desperation, a physical plea.
It's please.
And yes.
And now.
Right now.
I slip my hand out from under her and sit up. I'm planning out my next move and admiring her gorgeous body in the same assessment. Nudging her legs apart at her knees ignites the flame of arousal within me and I can't resist touching her again, slipping my fingers in and out. Her hips lift to meet the penetration. And the act of her engaging in her own pleasure, enhancing it, has me memorizing this visual so I can reference it later when we're apart. It's fantasy material.
"You sure you're ready for this?"
Her eyes are still closed as she rides out the rapture. "Yes," it's breathless.
I slip my fingers out and guide myself to her opening. "Keep your eyes closed." I nudge her with the tip and she moans. "I'm gonna make you feel so good." When I push into her she gasps and all I can say is, "Mmm ... " It's a contented hum deep in my chest. After the initial, crazy good shocking sensation passes I urge her, "Close your legs."
"But, you won't be able to—"
I cut her off before she finishes her counter, "Trust me. Yes, I will."
After I find a slow rhythm that works for both of us, I lie down over her back. I need my skin touching her skin. "I'm gonna go slow, because, damn this feels incredible, but when you're close you let me know because we're in this together."
"Okay, babe." It's the breathless answer of a fully engaged, satisfied partner.
We keep up the pace while I kiss her shoulders and back, occasionally telling her what I'm feeling, or how she makes me feel, or how I feel about her. I don't normally hold back, but having sex with her is like truth serum. I'm not censoring anything. It's all out there.
And then she says, "I'm so close, babe."
I reach down for her hands and twine them with mine and I bring them up to rest on the bed on either side of her head. "I've got you, sweetheart. I'm all yours."
She squeezes my hands and the pressure is all the confirmation I need, but she adds, "You're mine."
Everything's ramped up—the need, the passion, the attraction. I'm pounding into her now and she's asking for more. And more. With her legs held together there's so much friction and she's so tight. And everything in my world is so goddamn intense right now. All I want to do is please her. That's all I want. And the moment it happens and she buries her head in the comforter and starts chanting my name, that's all it takes. My name on her lips called out in pure ecstasy. And I'm saying her name like a prayer. "Scout. Scout. You're my world, Scout." And my release is like nothing I've ever experienced, it's like I'm strapped to a rocket and launched into the sky. It's fireworks and satisfaction and need and love.
Love.
So much love.