Thank God this doesn't have a back zip, Ali thought as she tugged the zipper up her side and smoothed the fabric. She wouldn't have wanted an awkward moment in which she'd have to enlist Bobby's help getting dressed. That would definitely have sent the wrong message.

 

To his credit, he'd behaved himself so far. He hadn't had anything yet to drink, and he'd been a perfect gentleman, leaving her to change in complete privacy while he returned some phone calls. Not a word of Alejandro, the wedding, or a reconciliation, either.

 

Maybe the night wouldn't be so terrible. After all, if Travis Lathrop was there and she could have even five minutes with him, she might solve all her startup problems in one fell swoop.

 

In addition to her operating costs, there were still some permit issues that needed to be taken care of, and she knew how easily a word from an influential man in the community could pave the way for those problems to be resolved.

 

She hadn't wanted to enlist Bobby or Carmac's help--particularly since neither of them had ever been enthusiastic about her starting the program in the first place--but Mr. Lathrop might just be the man to help check that pesky permit issue off the to-do list.

 

If Travis Lathrop wanted a new pet project to support, then by God, she could give him one. She dusted powder over the bridge of her nose and thought about what Mr. Lathrop's support might mean, in practical terms, for the Cloverleaf program. Not just dollars, but word-of-mouth to other potential funders. Validation in local philanthropy circles. Maybe even recognition outside Arroyo Flats.

 

A quiet tap on the bathroom door snapped her out of her reverie. "I don't mean to pressure you, Sugar, but this thing starts in an hour, and we've got a bit of a drive still," Bobby called through the door. "You almost ready?"

 

She cracked the door. "Almost," she said, reaching for her makeup bag to retrieve her lipstick. "Two seconds."

 

Bobby pushed the door open and leaned in the door frame, impeccably dressed in his tuxedo. His eyes never left her mouth as she carefully applied her lipstick. She caught him looking and he blushed under her questioning gaze.

 

“You look stunning," he murmured. "Red suits you."

 

Ali thanked him politely, not wanting to see what was in his eyes. Love? Jealousy? Lust? It didn't matter. She had one purpose tonight and that was to make the acquaintance of this funder. It was not to engage with Bobby in a conversation about their broken engagement.

 

Ali straightened and took one last turn in the mirror. I wish I could just hear his voice, she thought. She'd already sent Alejandro several text messages that day, all of which had gone unanswered. He wasn't the type to ignore her on purpose, no matter how angry he was, so she knew he was busy and would get back to her. Still, it stung to know she had hurt him. She had single-handedly chipped away at the frail bond of trust they were trying so desperately to build.

 

One night, that's all this has to be, she thought. I just have to make sure Bobby doesn't think this is anything more than it is and I'm golden. Alejandro will understand when I explain it to him, I know he will.

 

***

 

It had been strange to take Bobby's arm and allow him to escort her in, stopping to pose for the obligatory publicity photo. It had been even odder to sit at the table with Carmac and Cecile, acting as if nothing was wrong. Bobby's hand had been on her lower back all night, guiding her as he always had, in tune with her every move. A few times he allowed his hand to rest around her hip in a way that was a bit more familiar than she would have liked, but he didn't seem to notice he was even doing it. No big deal, she thought. It's just a habit. He's not pressuring me, and it's just for tonight.

 

It had all been worth it to meet Travis Lathrop, who took an immediate shine to Ali and listened to her talk about the program for only fifteen minutes before he pulled his checkbook from inside his jacket pocket and wrote a sum that made Ali choke on her wine. Then he asked so many questions that she spent half the night answering him, her mind reeling the entire time that she had almost missed such an amazing supporter. Mr. Lathrop was nearly ninety, sharp as a tack, and just as eager as Bobby had said he was to support a new youth project.

 

Bobby circled back now and then, and when Mr. Lathrop said his goodbyes to them both, she turned to him breathlessly and showed him the check.

 

His smile was genuine as he said, "That's amazing, Sugar, it really is. I knew he'd be able to help you out."

 

She flung her arms around his neck without even thinking what she was doing and felt him hesitate before wrapping his arms around her. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much, Bobby." Her eyes filled with tears and she tried to pull away from him before he could see, but he held her fast.

 

"Why the tears?"

 

She shook her head, but Bobby took her hand in his and led her out of the ballroom to the garden. He sat on one of the benches and she sat next to him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

 

"Hey." His blue eyes met hers then, and he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped her face.

 

"I'm really sorry, Bobby," she wept. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I’m just so confused. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and now I don't. I don’t know how to live this life when it makes me so miserable. And I can’t help how I feel about--" She stopped herself then, not daring to start a conversation she didn’t have the energy to finish.

 

Bobby sat in complete silence, holding her hand until she sagged against him. Then he spoke quietly. "This is where you belong, Sugar, right here with me. Maybe I've been less than understanding. Hell, I know I've been less than attentive. But I want you by my side. I'll stand by and wait if that's what it takes, but I'm not going to just let you go and give up everything that should be yours."

 

"You promised we wouldn't talk about this," she sniffled.

 

"No ma'am," he disagreed with a crooked grin. "I promised I wouldn't pry into your personal affairs. I didn't make any promises about telling you how I feel or what I want."

 

Her shoulders sagged. "Bobby..."

 

"Shhh..." His fingers covered her lips and he pulled her close against his chest. "Don't say anything. I don't want to hear you say you don't love me or that you'll never be mine again. I've loved you too long for that. Just let me hold you a bit. Just for a minute."

 

Ali sighed and relaxed against him. She wanted the comfort, but she didn't want the responsibility of how seriously he might take the embrace. Bobby's arms felt like a stranger's. She was so used to Alejandro's powerful embrace that Bobby's arms felt insubstantial wrapped around her.

 

Not so long ago, his embrace was the only one to comfort her. So easily they drifted apart. The months of campaigning taking a toll on their relationship. She thought about how fragile their love must have been to die such a quick death. Especially when things with Alejandro had rekindled again so easily after so long apart.

 

When she pulled out of his embrace he smiled ruefully but didn't try to stop her. Instead, he sat with her in comfortable silence a few moments before she asked him to drive her back to get her car. She was relieved when he readily agreed. After a hasty good-bye to his parents, they escaped and headed back for his place.

 

Ali was impressed that Bobby still hadn't had anything to drink all night, and she couldn't help bringing it up on the drive home.

 

"You didn't drink anything tonight, did you?"

 

He shook his head. He was silent for a moment before clearing his throat. "You know, that night..."

 

She nodded to let him know she knew exactly what night he was referring to. The night at Bistro Mia, when he'd drunk to oblivion and practically forced himself on her, was still fresh in her mind. She hadn't forgotten how out of line he'd been or her panic when she thought she might not be able to stop him from forcing himself on her.

 

"When I realized what I'd done to you I knew how out of control I was getting. That was a big wake-up call for me, Sugar. I don't want to be some guy who drinks to cope with what he did the night before when he was drunk. I don't want to lose pieces of my life bit by bit while I drink myself into an early grave. So I just stopped."

 

"You stopped drinking? Altogether?" Ali was shocked. She thought Bobby was just making a special effort since she'd begged him not to drink too much that night while they were together. She never imagined he was actually embarking on a lifetime of sobriety.

 

He nodded. "Yes. I even started going to see someone. You know, a therapist..." His cheeks reddened a bit, and he cleared his throat and straightened in the driver's seat. "My Daddy doesn't know. Mama either. Imagine what they'd think of me going to a head-shrinker."

 

Ali smiled in spite of herself. Carmac and Cecile, like her own parents, thought every problem was solved behind the closed doors of your own home. And look how fucked-up we all are because of it. She knew what a big step it was for Bobby to have done this. It was maybe even a bigger step that he admitted his weakness to her.

 

"You're a good man, Bobby. I never doubted that," she said honestly.

 

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." His voice was choked with emotion. "I'm sorry I treated you like that... I'm ashamed of how I acted, Ali."

 

"No, Bobby, hey..." She turned to him and laid her hand on his arm. "It's okay. It's done. The important thing is that you're getting the help you need. And I'm here for you, as a friend, no matter what happens between us."

 

"Do you mean that? About us being friends?"

 

"Of course I do. You mean a lot to me. You always will."

 

He smiled and patted her hand. "Then that's good enough for now."