Amanda’s been watching me like a hawk all afternoon, she knows this is a really hard time of year for me. After she sees me leave my desk from all the festivities going on around me, she follows me into the men’s private room and locks the door behind us.

“You okay, doll?” she asks me, pulling out her lipstick from her purse.

“No. I think if I see another happy and cheerful person today, I’m going to yank the tinsel off the Christmas tree and choke someone with it.” I make an imaginary noose with my hands.

She laughs at me. “It’s been a year Ross, it’s time to move on already.” I roll my eyes at her.

“I know and I have somehow, it’s easier than it used to be, but it doesn’t mean I forgot about last year either.” I take a deep breath to stop the tears from spilling out like a fountain. “I’m just a little up in my feels today, can’t you tell? Horrible memories sort of put me all in the bah humbug mood.”

Since last year, I’ve never seen Jordan again, not since that night and still never want to. Once he was out of the apartment he let Amanda know, and I returned. She’s the best friend ever and took me into her home, rocking me to sleep and listening to me cry, bitch and moan for a week until I vented it all out and got off my pity pot. This woman’s the greatest gift I’ve ever had in my life. We tossed out my bed and I got a new one, everything else was minor after that. We redecorated my apartment. It’s completely different than it was before Jordan moved in and after he left. It was just a stepping stone for a new direction for me.

“Ross, this year is different. Look sweetie, you’ve definitely been through the ringer over the last year, but you are a drop-dead gorgeous man, although I wish you would shave the beard you have been sporting, and look like yourself again. You need to get back on the horse already. Any man would be happy to have you.” She blots her lips on a paper towel, removing the access lipstick.

“Thanks, but I’m just not ready for all that. The last thing I need is to be involved with a man that could break my heart again, it’s just not worth the risk. I’m quite content with the way things are now.” I tilt my head to the side.

“A-hem, bullshit.” She coughs. “Okay, come on now, you know better than that. You need to get back in the saddle and for fucks sake, get laid already.” She blurts out.

“Amanda, geezus. Shy and reserved much? Don’t bite your tongue or anything.” I laugh at her bluntness.

“You know I speak my mind and mean everything I say. It’s time Ross, venture out, you’re a great catch. Don’t let that moron keep you frozen in your tracks anymore. You deserve better.”

“I’ve been thinking about it but not much into the club or bar scene. Never was my thing and pretty sure it’s not now either. You meet some assholes in those places and I’m apparently a magnet for them, hence Jordan.” I shake my head.

“Well, I can think of a resident hottie on the menu.” She wiggles her brows at me. “Take our hottie new boss, Trey, for instance. I know you’ve noticed him, geez who hasn’t? You’d have to be dead not too. He just went through a really nasty split they say, same situation with his ex I heard, about a year and a half ago too. You two could probably both stand getting laid. I see how he looks at you. I know personally, I’d like to strip him out of that three-piece suit with my teeth. Gnawing and ripping and…Oh sorry. Besides, I see that look on your face, peeking out from behind those glasses you insist on wearing.”

“What look?” I smile at her, she always knows how to cheer me up. “But he’s the new boss for God’s sake, like that would ever work. The man doesn’t even know I even exist.” I run my hands through my hair before clipping it back up. “And for the record, he’s probably hurt also from his split, it makes you lose trust and faith in people.”

“If you’d let him, he would definitely fall for you I believe. But you come in daily in your frump and grump mode most days, going through the daily hum drum motions, you aren’t putting yourself out there for anyone.” Amanda sits on the corner of my desk. “Time to change that and what a great time for it. The holiday season is a great time of year if you can let it be.”

“He is lick-a-licious, isn’t he?” I start cracking up. I love her.

“There’s my naughty boy, yes he is. Seriously, I know you’ve been questioning yourself since Jordan, it’s normal, but I’m here to tell you that you’re gorgeous, and have everything to offer a man. You’re smart, dedicated, and honest, have a heat of pure gold to boot. Plus, you have that little wild streak in you and guys love that shit. You just have to give someone a chance at some point, not every man is out to hurt you. The only reason Trey hasn’t noticed you is because you hide and he’s just been too busy getting settled in. He’ll definitely take notice, especially after tonight.”

“Tonight? Refresh my memory.” I know what she means.

“The Christmas party, and Mister, you are to be at my place by six and that’s an order, not a request.” She gives me a wink, locks her elbow in mine and we walk out into the office area near her desk at the front. She’s in perfect view so we play always play expressions with one another all day. Trey walks by, she licks her lips, and I slide my middle finger up the side of my face and make her laugh.

I make the phone gesture with my fingers. She answers. “Yes sweetie, how may I be of service?” She giggles.

“You know, I’ve never even had a conversation with him really? He just barks a couple orders or leaves notes, then runs off to do something else. I’m not sure I’m his type Amanda, seriously. He’s got that whole sophisticated thing going on, that’s not exactly me you know.”

“Just be at my place tonight, please.” She clicks the phone off on me hanging up.

The company Christmas party is at Trey’s house tonight and it’s pretty much a mandatory requirement, even though the memo swears it’s not. I’m just in a total bah-humbug mood and not looking forward to any of it.

I’ve been with the company for the last few years and though it’s not my perfect dream job of the world, it’s close and pays the bills quite nicely. It’s become like a home to me. Hamilton and Hamilton is a fairly large commercial construction company in the Houston area. We do all kinds of contracts. From hospitals, along with buildings downtown, and a few school districts. My job is doing the takes by figuring the measurements on the blue prints and placing my part on the bid from the ground up, literally.

Trey came to our company two months ago, he bought us out. He came in as a take charge kind of man and took over, not letting us sort out the old contracts before he added new ones, so everything’s sort of a jumbled wreck. I’m just waiting to be called into his office for it, since I’m the one who organizes everything.

“Mr. Long, can I see you for a minute?” Wow, that didn’t take long.

I stand and face Trey. “Yes sir?” My glasses slip down on my nose, so I look over the top rim at him.

“My office, please.” He turns and walks towards the door.

I slide my chair under my desk and follow him. The man seriously pulls off dressing to a tee, even in a suit. He stands with the doorway open, and I push past him. Oh God, he smells good, like sandalwood. I try to contain myself, but this is going to be hard.

“Not now Mr. Long, but once we return from the holidays, we need to go over the accounts. I know it’s been extremely hectic since I arrived here. I’m aware there were already previous accounts and I brought in new ones as well. We need to get them sorted, especially the one for Creekwood Manor School District. I believe were on stage two in the development, right?” He flips through several folders on his desk, taking one in his hand, opening it.

“Yes, sir, we are. I’ve been getting figures together and they’re almost complete for the next phase. I plan on working through the final figures tomorrow. I can email you the bid.”

“No need. Wait, tomorrow is Christmas day.” He looks up from the folder. “I don’t want you working on a holiday, it’s bad enough that I had everyone stay for half a day today. I’d like you to relax and take the day for your family.” He continues looking at me.

“There is no family, so it’s no trouble. I’ll get it done for you.” I finger a loose curl that falls free from my hair tie.

“I’m very sorry, I didn’t know and just assumed.” He sets the folder back on the desk.

“It’s fine. Okay sir, I’ll see you tonight at the party.” I need to get away from him, I can’t think clear being this close to him, his smell is intoxicating.

“Yes, right. I’m sure I’ll see you at some point, but in case I happen to miss you, have a wonderful holiday. We’ll talk after they are over.”

Pushing my glasses back over the little knot in my nose, I exit his office, grabbing my things to leave for the day. I’m so glad I have several days to clear my head, I’m not in a good place. Emotions are running high, and I’m fighting depression big time. I just need to get to Amanda’s tonight and get through this whole Christmas thing, then I can lay around my apartment in pj’s all alone with my tunes and figure out how to wrap up this phase in the contract.

Practically skidding to a screeching halt in front of Amanda’s house, I slam the car in park and look at the clock. Shit, she’s going to ream me a new one for being late. Amanda opens the door and walks out.

“You’re late!” She smiles and meets me halfway down the sidewalk.

“Sorry, I tried to get here sooner. You know I’m not looking forward to this tonight, and I had to practically bribe myself with several glasses of wine and chocolates.” I laugh. “So, think you could you give a guy a break, please? I’m having a hard time.” I beg.

“Yeah, yeah. And wine my ass.” She takes my hand and we walk inside. “Okay, come into my room. Look at you, your contacts came in, when?”

“A couple weeks ago but I’m still getting used to them, so I never wear them except at home a little.

“Well, you look amazing without the big black frames covering half of your face. Oh my God, oh my freaking God you cut your hair and shaved. I was so focused on your gorgeous blue eyes I didn’t even pay attention to the rest. Aaaah, I love it, you are seriously hott as hell. You look so different. Where is your outfit?” She blasts and squeals through that conversation so fast I can barely focus now.

“Crap, see what I mean? I’m out of sorts today and not looking forward to this. It’s out in the car, my nerves are shot. I honestly don’t know if I can do this, I’m going to look so silly, like I don’t know how to dress myself or something. You know how uncomfortable I am in dress clothes. I brought a suit, then just a regular set of slacks with a high neck sweater.” I bite the inside of my cheek.

“You’ll look perfect, Ross. You’ve gotten so used to running around in jeans and a t-shirt that you’ve forgotten how beautifully you clean up. It’s time to remember that and to show everyone. I’ll go get your clothes.” The front door slams on her way out.

“I’m so excited about this, Ross.” She walks back in as fast as she left, yelling her way through the hallway as she enters the room. She hands me the dress pants and sweater, and strolls over to her dresser, lighting up a cigarette. “No to the suit, it’s too formal, this is more fancy casual, and a billion times more relaxed. Have a couple shots with me first to calm the nerves.” She pours us both some Crown Royal in half glasses.

I step into her dressing area in front of the vanity and slip into the clothes. I suck my breath in looking in the mirror. I smooth the slacks out over my body and turn to look in the mirror from all angles. I look horrible in this, ugh!

“Help,” I call out to Amanda. “I look a mess.”

She walks through the louvered doors into her dressing room. The picture reflecting from the mirror is classic. My black framed glasses usually resting on my nose are gone and my hair’s too damn short, and spiky on top. This combo mixed with wearing something only a super model needs be wearing is downright comical. I barely recognize myself.

“Oh my fucking God bitch! You’re gorgeous.” She laughs and gives me a hug. “Right off the NY runways, your muscles bulge at all the appropriate places showing nothing but pure hotness. You look completely different when you clean up. I’ve never seen you look this stunning, Ross. And who knew you had such a cute ass? Guit hiding these things about you, dammit.”

“Um…yeah right!” I turn to face her with my arms held out.

“You honestly don’t see it do you? What exactly do you see in the mirror when you look?”

“What do you mean? I see myself, looking a bit hysterical at the moment. Okay downright dorky to be honest, this is not me.” I reach to zip myself.

“Oh, no you don’t. You look amazing. Everyone is going to shit bricks. People kill to look this good?” She traces her finger down my side and spins me, checking everything out about the entirety of me. “Perfect. No one will even recognize you, stranger. I love it.”

“Not hardly.” I turn back to the mirror, not understanding exactly what she’s going on about. I mean I’m not ugly or anything, or at least I don’t think, but I’m also not butt-ugly or what you would call catchable either, just average. Only now, I just don’t look normal or play dress up easily. I’m most comfortable wearing almost anything that speaks jeans and T-shirt.

“You are just so gorgeous and such a wonderful person. I wish you’d give someone deserving a real chance, Ross.” She brushes her hand across my cheek.

“Amanda, quit trying to rescue my ego and play matchmaker. I look awful and feel worse. Can I please just skip tonight?”

“Not a chance, if I have to go, then so do you, period.” She slaps my ass. “Damn, I’m going to do that more often.” She giggles.

“Wooo, don’t get flirty with me doll.”

“You are about to stop the man’s heart. Just trust me, Ross. You’ll see.”

“Who’s heart?” I shrug my shoulders.

“You know exactly who I am talking about. Mr. Suit himself.” She giggles as she plucks at my hair.

Amanda takes the brush and strokes through her own hair with it. She’s one of those blonde beauties who doesn’t have to try very hard to get noticed. She has reddish streaks in her hair and her eyes are a beautiful hazel green. She has long curls, the kind that people pay good money for. As for me, I’m just a big puddle of man mess.

After she touches up her make-up, we’re ready to head out for the evening. I’m a nervous wreck over this.

“Let’s go show you off, Ross!”