B ella looked at me with wide, horrified eyes, her hand at her mouth.

“That’s…that’s awful, ” she whispered.

I nodded grimly. “It was.”

I’d just finished telling her the story of Helen. I don’t exactly know why I did, but I felt compelled to. I felt like I needed to tell her.

There had been other women since my divorce, of course. But I’d never shared anything with them besides one night in my bed.

Usually theirs.

With Bella, something about her made me want to unravel.

It made me want to open up.

“The divorce was a long time coming, we weren’t happy. She was seeing other men.”

A shadow crossed Bella’s face, and I grinned at the possessiveness there.

“We finally came to a conclusion, and I thought it was a mutual split. Apparently, she didn’t. That’s the night she took all those pills and drank all that wine, stuck Beckham and Lillian in the car, and drove it into the side of a bar.

“I’m so sorry, Colin,” she whispered, pulling me tight.

She froze. “I mean, sir.”

I smiled. “Colin works for now. Sir during the day.” My fingers traced her back. “Sir when I want you to be my good girl.”

I felt her breath catch.

“Okay.”

“I should get to bed,” I whispered into her ear. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

She nodded. “Yeah I should pack.”

“My own bed is just…” I trailed off. “It’d be confusing to the children.”

She nodded, turning to smile at me. “I know. I get it.”

I rose from the bed, dressing even though I was just going down the hall. She followed me to the door, wrapped in a sheet.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For?”

“For understanding.”

“I still wish you’d told me, beautiful,” I murmured.

“Would you have taken me into that bathroom?”

“Probably not.”

She grinned. “Then I’m glad I didn’t.”

“Bella, you know this can’t—”

“What happens during the day when I’m watching your children and what happens at night are separate,” she said evenly. “Don’t worry, I get that.” She bit her lip. “I can be professional, sir,” she said quietly.

My jaw tightened.

My cock throbbed.

Fuck me, I wanted her again.

I reached between her legs, making her gasp as my fingers stroked her wet pussy.

“Save that thought,” I growled. “It’s a long flight.”

She whimpered as I drew my fingers back and slowly brought them to my lips to taste her as her eyes went wide.

“Goodnight, Ms. Wilder.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

* * *

B ack in my room , I pulled my clothes back off and ran a hot shower. The water soothed my muscles and I ran a hand over my face and through my hair.

God what was I doing?

What was I doing with her?

Again, there’d been women since Helen. Lots of women, actually.

But nothing that ever felt like this. Nothing that shook me to my fucking core like this. No woman had ever stopped me in my tracks and stopped my heart in my chest with one look like Bella had.

Sweet, innocent Bella.

I’d been her first.

The thought sobered me, making me shake my head.

Her first.

And I’d fucked her like some sort of bar slut in the bathroom.

I wanted to feel terrible about it, except…

Well, except she’d liked it .

My sweet, innocent little Bella had a dark side. And I planned on exploring more of it.

I knew I should have said no. I knew I should have left it alone, maybe even let her go and gone off to Paris alone with my children. They were still getting used to Helen not being around, and with Bella being so new…

It scared me what her being so close to them might do to them — how it might confuse them.

And then there was the looming specter of Helen and her threats. She didn’t have much to hang over my head, if anything. But courts did favor the mother, even shitty ones like her. If she walked into that court with proof of me fucking my nanny?

Game over.

Best case scenario after that would be split custody. And I wasn’t a cruel man, but there was no way I was letting my children back into her hands.

She’d almost killed them once.

If she wanted to drive into wall and end her own life, so be it. I was done with her, and any feelings I’d had for her years ago had long since gone away. But my kids were another story.

She’d almost taken them, and that I could not abide.

But I was walking on thin ice with Bella. One misstep, and I could crash through and lose it all, which should have made walking away easier.

Except something about her had me hooked.

Something about her had my heart twisted up.

And I couldn’t walk away from that.

I didn’t know how to.