Chapter 1: Jackson

Friday, April 24th

Parking in front of the loft, I shut off the ignition and rested my head against the seat. Since there weren’t any nearby streetlights, I was immediately shrouded in darkness and was tempted to just sit out there all night and seethe.

When Uncle broke the news to me a few hours before, I assumed he was joking, completely unable to comprehend that his words might be reality. But once I realized that his solemn, sympathetic expression wasn’t changing, the truth hit me like a fifty-foot wave. It was every team leader’s worst nightmare—that moment when things fall apart.

I would call an emergency meeting for the entire team first thing in the morning, but I had to at least give Knox a heads-up about what happened. I knew he, especially, would want time to mentally work through it before the meeting. Plus, I had to vent to someone and didn’t want to put Uncle through any more of my ranting tonight.

Son of a bitch. I slammed my fist against the steering wheel, angrier than I remembered being in a very, very long time. What the hell was he thinking? How could he do this to us?

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I sent Knox a text.

Me: I’m out front. Need to talk in private. 9-1-1.

Knox: In the garage.

The garage door started to open, so I hopped out of the Jeep and headed that direction. Knox stood in the entrance, arms crossed over his chest. Although it was almost midnight, he had clearly been tinkering with one of the cars, something I knew he did as much to relax as actually fix anything.

“What is it?” he asked gruffly.

Pointing to the two worn leather chairs in the corner, I said, “We might as well sit down for this.” He gave me a look but didn’t resist.

I tried to get comfortable in the chair but couldn’t sit still. The whirring of the ceiling fan diverted my attention for a few seconds before I forced myself to focus. I couldn’t stand the thought of telling any of the team; it was all my fault and everyone would know it.

“Shit,” I sighed. “Ethan’s gone.”

“What do you mean gone?”

“He filed the official paperwork requesting dismissal from the team this evening after close of business.”

Knox’s infamous poker face revealed nothing as he let the information sink in. After several long moments of silence, he finally asked, “Have you spoken to him?”

“No. He hasn’t answered my calls or texts, and he wasn’t home when I went by his place. He applied for immediate leave, which he appears to be taking whether or not it’s granted.”

“I assume you checked the tracker on his cell?”

“He turned his phone off and left it at the apartment.”

Knox grunted. “What reason did he provide on the form?” Even though Ethan would have to endure a formal review process before his request was granted, the form still required a detailed explanation.

“Some bullshit about irreconcilable differences like it’s a fucking divorce,” I said with a harsh laugh. “He doesn’t feel like a respected member of the team, his suggestions are ignored, etcetera.”

Knox nodded slowly, then ran a hand through his hair, finally showing signs of agitation. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but we all know he’s been acting like a selfish asshole for a while now. I never thought he’d go this far, though.” He sighed. “What’s the plan?”

“Calling an emergency team meeting at Patrick’s for first thing in the morning.”

“And . . . what do you want to do?”

I stood up and started pacing, knowing he was asking what I wanted the result of the meeting to be. We’d have to vote on whether we agreed to Ethan’s dismissal from the team or if we were going to dispute it and get him to reconsider.

“I never thought I’d say this about anyone on the team, but right now I don’t want to change his mind.” Picking up a wrench, I threw it across the room, and when it hit the concrete, the loud clank reverberated in the open space. “I am so pissed at him right now. Even if we work things out, the team will be under extra scrutiny for at least a year. That’s the last thing we need.”

“Whoa, whoa. No need to take out your anger on the tools,” Knox said lightly, but I knew he wasn’t joking. Tools were serious business to Knox. “Ignoring the BS on the form, why do you think Ethan quit the team?”

Suddenly feeling stifled, I pulled my fleece over my head and threw it in the chair before resuming pacing. “Any number of reasons. His inability to agree with me about anything. His anger toward me whenever I don’t do exactly what he wants. His bitterness directed at me when I give him even the simplest of directions. Do you see a pattern?”

Knox nodded slowly. “Ever since his blowup in San Francisco, there’s been a hard edge to him that was never there before. I’ve been concerned about it, but he won’t talk to me. As far as I know, he hasn’t opened up to anyone. Even Chase. Usually, I would have discussed it with you, but I didn’t want to make things worse since you seem to be the source of his issues.”

“Tell me about it. I’m not even sure when things changed . . . we used to be so close.”

“I hate to say it,” Knox said, “but do you think this has something to do with Haley? You have to admit, the timing is suspicious. And I know Ethan’s interested in her.”

“Did he say something to you?”

Knox laughed humorlessly. “He didn’t have to. He turns into a surly adolescent whenever any of us show her attention. Which is basically all the time.”

He was right. I had noticed Ethan’s jealousy, but I assumed that since he’d continued his random hookups, things would never go further with Haley. Did his whole attitude problem begin because I’d practically forced everyone to agree to stay away from her? I was starting to wonder who the bigger idiot was—Ethan or me.

“Damn it. I knew this would happen.” I shot Knox a dark look. “I blame you. Jax,” I said, imitating his voice, “we have to bring her back to Santa Cruz with us. She needs our help.”

Knox chuckled, sincerely this time. “Don’t tell me that you wouldn’t give almost anything to wrap her long hair around your fist and kiss her into tomorrow.”

Yes, and a hell of a lot more. “She’s tempting as fuck, isn’t she? I thought I’d go insane while she was staying with me.”

“Wimp. You only had to deal with it for like three days. She lives with me. Down the hall. Where she sleeps. And showers.”

I smiled for the first time all night. “True. Not sure if I’m envious or relieved that I’m not you.” I shook my head. “We need to discuss what to do about her soon.”

Knox stood. “I know. And, listen, try not to beat yourself up about Ethan. He’s a big boy and able to make his own choices, however poor they may be. I’m on your side and will support whatever you decide tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”