Wrong Name

(Violet)

I stood at the window and looked out into the darkness. It wasn’t like a hotel in a big city where there were lights everywhere. Out here it was dark. Dark meant really dark. I wondered where Mason was right then. But I had no business with that. It didn’t matter what he was doing and when. Yet, I tried to kiss him. I jumped at him. After I slapped him. I had no idea why I did any of it. He twisted my emotions into a knot so tightly, they would randomly explode, and I didn’t know how to handle myself.

Behind me I heard the bathroom door click shut.

I turned and saw Davis standing there with a cup of water. He rubbed his chin and leaned against the wall.

“Hey,” he said with a chuckle. “Goddamn scotch, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“How long…”

I looked at the clock. “Two hours.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Violet. I blame that bartender. He was too good at his job.”

“Well, he carried you up here.”

“Really? You know… I remember that. Someone carrying me.” He chuckled again. “Are you pissed at me?”

“No,” I said. “I’m just tired. I had a good time tonight.”

“Yeah? Me, too. Hey, we can finish the night up. Come on, let’s get into bed. Find some crappy reality show and just laugh.”

Davis got himself to the bed and stripped down to nothing but his boxers. I went to the bathroom and changed into a long t-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror. My feelings were still all twisted up. Mason left me in a state of confusion and I hated that. I needed to let go and just leave. Leave everything behind. The letters. The truth about Kate. The truth about his wife. The truth about me. Maybe Davis wasn’t the forever kind of guy for me and that was fine. I could figure that out later.

As I walked to the bed, I thought about Mason one last time. I promised myself it was going to be the last time. Somewhere in the hotel, he was with two women. I knew the things he was capable of with his fingers, tongue, his body. The way he touched, moved, the rawness of how he could just fuck.

When I got to the bed, I ripped the covers off Davis.

“Violet…”

I climbed on top of him, straddling him.

“Fuck me, Davis. Right now.”

* * *

I started on top but then let him take over. I arched my back and tilted my head back. I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth. I rocked and thrust my hips as hard and as fast as I could. Davis grunted and groaned, making weird sounds. I blocked him out, though. This was for me. All for me. I dug my heels into the bed and raised my hips up.

“Grab me,” I said to Davis. “Hold me. Right now.”

Davis moved to his knees. He thrust hard and fast, but it wasn’t enough.

I reached for him. I felt his waist… but what I didn’t feel were the rock-hard muscles that graced Mason’s body.

Mason.

NO.

No way. I wasn’t going to let that happen.

But Mason was there.

Standing there. Right there in my memory.

My nails dug into Davis’s skin.

“Hey, ouch,” he yelled.

“Shut up,” I yelled.

I wanted it harder. I wanted it faster. Goddammit. I needed it.

Something had broken inside me.

I looked down at my body, looked at Davis, then decided to put my head back again. Shut my eyes again. I needed relief. I needed to release. I needed to come. No matter what it took.

“Violet, I’m getting close,” Davis said, out of breath.

“Not yet,” I said. “Don’t. Hold it.”

I felt the faintest hint of an orgasm building.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” Davis said. “Oh, it’s good. Please…”

Fuck me.

I let Mason back in my thoughts. I saw his body. His old body, clean and strong. The body I had explored with my hands and tongue so many times. Then I thought about his new body. Covered in ink. I wondered if he had it on his chest and stomach and back.

“Oh, yes,” I cried out.

It was working.

“Fuck yes,” I yelled.

“Be quiet,” Davis said. “Someone…”

“Fuck them!” I yelled.

I put my hands above my head and pushed at the headboard. I wanted Davis deeper but there was only so much size there. That wasn’t his fault, though.

My memories flashed images. My body was on fire. It was working. My angry hotel sex was feeling really good. Super fucking good. So good that I let Mason’s memory slip away and just focused on my body. The feeling between my legs. The thrusts of the man pleasuring me. My body thrusting back and finding comfort in itself.

“Oh, this is so fucking hot,” Davis said.

“Don’t talk anymore,” I slurred out. “I’m close. So close. So fucking close…”

I opened my mouth and a hoarse cry came out.

My body was just seconds away from climaxing.

“Yes, yes, yes,” I purred.

Fuck yes… it’s working… and I don’t need you. I’ll never need you again, you asshole. I hate you so much…

I felt Davis shake as he had no choice but to let go. He thrust into me one last time and made his dying lawnmower sound.

That’s when my orgasm crested and I arched my back even more, crying out.

“Yes! Yes, Mason! Yes!”

That’s when the hotel room went completely silent.

* * *

I made coffee and sat at the kitchen table alone. I took a deep breath, bringing in the new day, along with the smell of the coffee. In my head I ran through my busy day. A video conference with two investors to go over the new app features I had been designing. Lunch with Victoria to look at her new sketches and to just catch up on life (you know, telling her that I screamed the wrong guy’s name as I came), and then swinging by my parents’ house to check on Mom and Dad. With that, I had to just drop in casually and try not to focus on Dad so much.

That was hard.

As was sitting at the table, waiting for Davis to emerge from the bathroom.

When he did, he was buttoning his sleeves. His hair was messy and wet. He was whistling.

He looked at me and smiled. “Morning.”

“Hey,” I said.

He kissed the top of my head and poured himself a mug of coffee.

I turned and wondered if he was messing with me or just had no clue what had happened two nights ago.

“I am busy today,” he said. “I’m going to be gone for the day and night. I might just crash at the hotel. My boss offered up three rooms to anyone who needed it.” He stirred his coffee and banged the spoon on the edge of it. He turned and lifted the mug to his mouth but didn’t sip. “You believe this new contract we’re trying to get… Macroy. Yeah. His old man refused to sell this dilapidated building for years. Finally sells it to the kid and now the kid is holding us hostage for better terms on dumb shit. So we have to wine and dine and get to the bottom of it.”

“Well, good luck,” I said. “I’m pretty busy, too.”

“Perfect.” Davis sipped the coffee. He looked at his watch. “So we’ll reconvene tomorrow.”

“Uh… Davis. That night in the hotel.”

“What about?”

“I’m sorry for what happened,” I said. “Things got out of control.”

He nodded. “Violet, shit happens. We were drunk. We were having fun.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

“You were grabbing my arms. Probably thinking about that bartender’s tattoos. Right? They were pretty cool. I mean, if you’re into tattoos and shit. I’m not. If you are…”

“No, no, it’s not that. I never did that before. Like… aggressive, I guess.”

“I can’t say I minded it… but I didn’t remember all that much.”

“There’s other stuff… Davis…”

“Look, I have to go.” He put his coffee mug down. “If you’re into tattoos, then that’s fine. I know how it works. You’re not cocky enough to do something to hurt me. We both know that, Violet.”

I felt like someone stole my vocal chords for a second.

Davis leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He then smoothed out his shirt.

“Trust me, we all have our fantasies. I do, too. You think you’re the perfect woman? Come on. Right? It’s how things stay spicy, I guess.”

I was dumbfounded as Davis walked away.

I had no words for a good minute even after the door shut.

I sat there and felt empty and alone. I hated that feeling. Yes, I was wrong. I was wrong for my feelings toward Mason. For what Mason did to us at the hotel. For what I tried to do to Mason. For what I yelled. So maybe I deserved a little of Davis’s cheap shots. Maybe I didn’t.

What I did know was that nothing was working. Nothing felt right. My life was still a mess, everything hanging high above me in the air. I was unable to grasp a single thing and make sense of it.

Right then, Mom called, half in tears because Dad had snapped at her and told her to stop treating him like “a fucking cripple.” It was rare for Dad to curse like that. Mom was on the back porch, crying, where she had been going to cry so Dad didn’t see her.

I told her I’d be over soon enough to visit, but I knew I’d swing by there with coffee and doughnuts before my video conference.

I had my day planned out. I told myself to just stick to the plan and let things work themselves out.

But thanks to Mason and his wild side rubbing off on me, I had a knack for not following plans the right way.

From the second I tried to kiss him at that hotel I knew I would end up back in his apartment… just one more time…