Back Again

(Mason)

We shut the shop down just like the old days. It was me and Hunter. Except I was on the opposite side of the desk. Which was fine by me. It was almost a relief to see him sitting there, flipping through bills, invoices, payables, clicking spreadsheets, trying to figure out how to make it all work.

I had done that for years. And I had done pretty well for myself, just hanging comfortably. Even if on the inside I felt mostly dead. Felt like time was the enemy, and time was just laughing in my fucking face with each day that was thrown at me.

“This place is busy,” Hunter said. “Our wait list…I’m telling you, man, we’re going to kill it even more when the other shop opens.”

“I agree.”

“Land is purchased and in your name, Mason. Just need to get something built and ready.”

“You got me drunk and took my fucking money. You’re like my wife.”

I laughed, but Hunter didn’t.

Silence fell.

“How does this play out?” Hunter asked.

“I don’t know yet.”

“I still don’t get it all.”

“You don’t need to. This is my problem.”

“And Violet?”

“It’s a nice color,” I said with a wink. Then I stood up. “Our purpose here, Hunter, is business.”

“Right. But as a business partner…and your friend…your fucking arms are covered in ink. Your hair is growing fast and long. I hardly recognize you, Mason. It worries me a little. I see you in the garage, and you’re in your element. Other than that…”

“Hunter, I’m not going to kill someone. I’m not going to get myself killed. Okay? I have a lot to deal with. I have my own way of dealing with it. The ink? I’m killing time. Switching things up. I like it. Okay? My hair? It’s fucking hair, man. I can’t believe I’m talking to you about hair.”

Hunter finally laughed. “Fine. You win. Just don’t end up in trouble. In jail…”

“Speaking of that,” I said. “How the fuck did my wife end up bailing me out?”

“She’s your wife, Mason. She has more pull and power than your best friend. That could be a problem.”

I nodded. “You look like you have a lot of paperwork there. Enjoy that.”

“Mason, find someone to build the other garage. I want this done. I can’t have that land just sitting there. That’s a waste of your money and my money since it hurts our business here.”

I smiled. “Yes, boss.”

“Fuck you.”

“Have a good night.”

I left the office and glanced back at the sign. RN Custom Rides. It had been a drunken dream of mine to open the shop. I had been bouncing from job to job, fixing cars, bikes, and trucks. Again, my purpose in life was to waste time and get the world to hate me. I figured if there was enough hate, then I’d eventually just disappear. Instead, I ended up with a successful business with a neon-lit sign. And now the promise of expansion.

Yet in some fucked-up way, I just wanted to simplify everything.

I climbed onto my motorcycle and looked out to the darkness that waited. It was so fitting for me, considering everything I was facing. I thought about skipping town. Just throwing a dart at a map and going. Spending time in a cabin in the mountains. Maybe head south and east, crossing into Texas, or just going on until I hit Florida. Or maybe north. Find comfort in cool and crisp weather, getting buried in snow, worrying about surviving the elements of nature. That would definitely take my mind off everything else.

I left the lot without looking back. The truth was that I wasn’t leaving. I was actually starting to dig the idea of having the shop open next to Hunter. A chance for me to work from the ground up again. Build some kind of empire for myself.

It was a good life. And there was enough whiskey and women to dull any pain that threatened to pop up and nip at me.

Back at the apartment, I climbed the stairs and started planning out my night. A shower, fresh clothes, write my letters to Kate and Violet, burn them, then work my way out of that funk to find something to distract me from life.

What I didn’t expect to find was a woman waiting for me at my door.

“Back again?” I asked with a cocky grin, even though my heart jumped a little.

She looked at me with the same gaze—stuck between tears and anger.

There she was…

My Violet.

* * *

“Back again,” I said, shaking my head, opening the door.

I was playing it cool, but I would have done anything in that moment to know for sure that she would never leave again.

“I want to know what the fuck you were thinking! A bartender?!”

I let Violet into my apartment and went right to the fridge. I got two beers out and slid one to her from across the counter.

I leaned against my sink and took a few drinks. I held the beer bottle out and stared at it.

“Well, I lost my business because of that stupid lawsuit,” I said. “I like to drink. So that seemed like a decent career choice. Worth a try, right?”

“That’s a lie,” Violet said.

“Is it?” I asked.

“When do you work again?”

“Ah, there’s the problem. See, I guess it’s frowned upon to leave the bar during your shift. So taking your drunk boyfriend to his room was a no-no. But then…leaving again with customers and never coming back…”

“You slept with those two women?”

I grinned and took another swig of beer.

“This was a mistake,” Violet said. “I have no clue what I’m doing here, then. If I’m only going to hurt myself…”

She backed away and started to move toward the door.

My stubborn heart wrestled with my even more stubborn brain. At the last second, I bolted toward her and put my hand to hers as I grabbed at the doorknob.

“Don’t,” I growled.

“Let it go,” Violet said. “Mason…”

“I didn’t fucking sleep with them,” I admitted.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You said you left the bar with them.”

“I did. But I didn’t sleep with them.”

“Then what- no. Never mind. It’s not my business, Mason.”

“But it matters to you.”

She looked up at me. “Yeah, it does.” She swallowed hard. “Tell me about the tattoos. Why. Tell me, Mason. Please. I’m begging you.”

“You’re going to tell me something then,” I said.

“Fine.”

I took my hand away from hers. I stepped back. I put arms out and flexed them. “What do you want to know?”

“Are they all stories?” she asked. “I mean, that’s a lot of tattoos…”

“It’s my addiction,” I said. “You left me, babe. You left me hanging and hurting pretty fucking bad, okay? I let you in on stuff in my life that nobody else was ever part of. You got closer than anyone. Then you were gone, just like that. I felt like I was exposed. I felt like everyone could look at me and see all that shit. So I started getting inked up. At first, it was just…something. But when I was in that chair, I’d get lost. I’d forget everything. I’d forget you. I’d forget Kate. I’d forget my shop. I’d forget the world. I started going back more and more. I became a canvas for my tattoo artist. I put my trust into him to do what he wanted to me. So, no, none of these tattoos have stories. But together they are all part of something bigger. My whole story.”

I saw the way Violet’s face looked. Her eyes bouncing from my arms to my eyes to my arms to my eyes.

“That’s all because of me?” she whispered.

“Yeah.”

Next thing I knew, Violet was coming at me. Fast. Jumping. Into my arms. I caught her and felt her lips closing in on me just like in the hallway of the hotel.

I turned my head as her lips brushed against my cheek. That little bit though was enough to send all the right signals to all the wrong parts of my body. My fists were ready to clench tight, hold her, command her. My cock swelled in my jeans, ready to come out and fucking take her again.

I forced my hands to her hips and got her away.

“You have a boyfriend,” I said.

“Oh, and that stops you now?”

“I don’t know. What are you doing here? Mr. Scotch can’t get it up? So you want me to fuck you? Want me to make you scream my name? Forget your name? Is that what this is?”

“I don’t know!” Violet yelled. “You keep telling me I left you. Like I did something wrong. Did you forget that I opened the door and your wife was standing there? What was I supposed to do? Make her coffee? Talk to her?”

“I know,” I said. “But you did leave.”

“I hate…”

“Tell me why him, of all people,” I said. “Tell me if it’s real or not.”

“What?”

“Davis. I want to know.”

Violet nodded, then smirked for a second. “It makes you jealous. So jealous.”

“No. I just want to know. No matter what the guy does for you, I got something he never could get: your fucking cherry, babe. Remember that? I was the first one up inside you.”

“I’d never forget,” Violet said.

“So why him?”

“It just happened.”

“No it didn’t.”

“What does it matter to you? You’re married.”

“And you just tried to kiss me. Again. You want me to fuck you, Violet. You want me to do everything to you that he can’t do because he doesn’t know how. So why does it matter about me having a wife? You don’t even know the truth.”

“I’m here for the truth,” Violet said.

“No you’re not. You’re here to face your own truth first. You don’t love Davis. He’s a blanket. You couldn’t face that, so you ran back in time hoping things would be different. Because whether you like it or not, life is hard. Life is a cruel motherfucking thing to go through. But every now and again, something good happens. That was you and me. But you took off and ran back into his arms. So confess it, Violet. Tell me you don’t love him.”

“I don’t,” she said. “Okay? I don’t. It all just happened so fast. You don’t even know the half of it, Mason.”

“I’m here,” I said. “You’re here. So start talking.”

“What if I didn’t want that?” she whispered. “What if I did come here with intentions that weren’t that great?”

She stepped toward me again. Our bodies barely touched, and I balled my hands up into fists.

Tempting me was a dangerous game to play.

I had no care and no respect for anyone but myself and what I wanted and what I needed. I had played the good card a few times now.

“Mason… I want you to know everything,” Violet whispered. “And I want to know everything. I didn’t leave you. I left because what I saw fucking crushed my heart. Because the thought of you loving someone else or having a commitment to someone else made me want to die. That’s…that’s the truth, Mason…”

She started to move to her toes.

I moved fast.

I opened my hands and grabbed her face. I held her, my thumbs stroking her cheeks.

“Mason,” Violet purred.

There was one time in my life I’d fallen in love. It was with the right woman at the wrong time. I’d spent years chasing and waiting, fighting what I was told was impossible. I would have cut my heart out of my chest to give it to her.

Then she was gone.

Gone forever.

But here I was, holding Violet’s face. The only other woman I ever loved. I didn’t want her to be gone forever either.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

I was an addict at heart. That meant the chance to slip was always present.

So I slipped.

I put my lips to hers and kissed.