What was that old saying? Can never go home again? I was learning that applied even when you’d never left your hometown.

The old homestead wasn’t all you couldn’t return to. You also couldn’t go back to high school and pretend you were still eighteen when all you cared about were the three Ps—partying, Pabst, and pussy.

I still loved pussy. Ally’s in particular. I sat back in my chair and rubbed my forehead. Actually, I didn’t want any other.

Ever.

Christ, lightning bolts hurt. This one had jabbed me before, causing sizzling little bursts of revelation—usually quickly ignored—but now reality speared me between the eyes.

We weren’t just making a baby. We were making a life.

“I think we need to go out the night before the reunion and get fucking trashed,” JT said on the phone, and I grunted.

Not in agreement. Not in approval. Nope. Wasn’t gonna happen.

“I have a kid, you know. I can’t just spend the night getting lit.”

“So what? I might have a kid out there too, somewhere. You don’t see it slowing me down, man.” JT laughed heartily and I swallowed a sigh.

I’d called JT to rehash old times while I ate half a turkey sandwich at my desk in between meeting with clients. Afterward, I intended to bike ride down to the bank before my slate of appointments later in the afternoon. It was a nice day out. Maybe I’d even stop at the bakery and see if they had any of those half moons Ally liked. If I brought a couple to the diner, maybe she’d soften up enough to talk to me.

It had been several days since she’d left my place in a rush. Surely by now she had to be over the whole wanting space thing. Or whatever it was.

Her weirdness had started right around when she’d found that reunion invitation. But that didn’t make sense. She’d had a good time in high school too. Or so I’d thought.

All I knew was that right now, JT wasn’t funny, and I wasn’t feeling the old times gig as much as I’d expected. Maybe because the best part of my past was also part of my present—and hopefully my future.

“Yeah, well, mine lives with me, and I’m not going out to get wasted. She’s already spent the night with her uncle once this month.”

“So what? Kid needs some freedom.”

“Freedom like I had? My dad never gave a shit if I was home, but I better not do anything to tarnish the precious family name.”

Even as I said the words, I regretted them. My dad could be thoughtless, and he definitely wouldn’t win the father of the year award, but he hadn’t been a bad parent.

At least he’d stuck around, unlike my mother.

Unlike Laurie’s.

Fuck, were we doomed to repeat every pattern in our lives? Just like I’d pulled a page out of my father’s playbook by paying off Marjorie, I’d tried it again with that stupid contract.

I yanked out my top desk drawer where the contract still resided. I was going to set that stupid thing on fire.

Ally and I didn’t need signatures between us. We weren’t about that. We made our own damn rules.

“Look, dude, I’m just saying it’d be fun if we cut loose and partied like we did in the old days. But if you’re not cool with that, then me and Brad will just see you at the reunion.”

“That’s probably a better idea. Maybe we can get a beer afterward,” I added, though I already knew that probably wouldn’t be happening. Ally would be with me, and she’d been clearly uncomfortable when the subject of high school had come up. I wasn’t entirely sure why, but it didn’t matter.

If she didn’t want to do the whole reunion thing, we’d make our appearances, talk to a few people, and split. I preferred spending the night with her and my little girl anyway.

“Sure, man, whatever you want. I’m just glad to be seeing you and Brad again. I’ve been missing those old days something fierce. Nothing’s been like them, you know? We had the life back then.”

His words were still echoing in my head after I’d hung up. I’d had fun going down memory lane for a few minutes the other day, but perhaps I didn’t need that blast from the past as much as I’d thought.

My present was pretty damn awesome.

I pushed aside the remnants of my turkey sandwich and flipped open the folder. I would tear up the contract. And in case Ally didn’t get how serious I was about her—about us—I’d bring the damn thing back to her in pieces. Maybe then she’d relax a little and let things happen.

If that was even what she wanted.

My gaze scanned the page on top automatically. She’d faxed over the house paperwork separately, so the only thing that should be in this folder was the contract I’d given her. And it was, all signed, sealed and delivered.

Just not with her name.

Your Ally Cat was written in her tight little scrawl, and fuck if it didn’t make me smile.

She was mine, and she had been since high school. And if we went to that reunion together, there wasn’t a person there who wouldn’t know it.

Especially her.

I shoved the folder across the desk and rose. Actually, nope, I wasn’t going to tear up the contract. Not where I had it in writing that she was mine. I’d take proof in whatever way I could get it.

She wasn’t going to shut me out forever.

I’d made it halfway to the door when Oliver swung into the room, his briefcase in one hand and his eyebrow already climbing for greatness. “So you drove her away, hmm?”

Frowning, I stopped dead. “Drove who away?”

“Why, Alison, of course. She’s the only woman in your life, isn’t she? Perhaps not.” Oliver moved forward to sit on the corner of my desk. “That would explain the secrecy. You have to know friends with benefits never works out well long-term. Or maybe you don’t. Consider it free advice. Just another of Oliver’s—”

“You don’t have any friends, so what would you know about it?” I muttered, not caring if the jab hurt. My brother certainly never worried overmuch about his pointed remarks in my direction. “Oliver’s Life Lessons”, he called them.

I usually offered a lifted middle finger as thanks.

“I know Alison has called out sick all week to work and Sage grew desperate enough to ask me if I’d seen her. I indicated I had not. Clearly she’s not warming your bed either.”

As if he’d dropped a giant weight onto my shoulders, I returned to my desk and sank into my chair. “She’s called in? She never does that. Maybe she really isn’t feeling well.” Hope bloomed inside me as I did some quick calculations. It was early, but possible. She could definitely be feeling some twinges if something had taken root.

But she hadn’t called me.

I reached for my desk phone just as Oliver snatched up the folder. And started to read while I stared almost unseeingly at him.

My slowness to react had to do with the possibility Ally could be pregnant. That was the only reason I had for not leaping to my feet and yanking the folder out of my snoop of a brother’s hands.

“Well, now, isn’t this interesting? A baby contract. Is Ally feeling the need to procreate? She is nearing thirty. I can see why she’d want to move on that sooner rather than later.”

“Give me that, you jackass. And no, Ally wasn’t feeling anything. I was the one who wanted the baby.”

Oliver’s brows snapped down as he peered at me over the folder I wasn’t getting back unless I wrestled him to the ground—and that might end up happening. “I think you better cut back on those vitamins you’ve been taking. That ginseng-biloba must be messing with your wiring.”

“My wiring is just fine.”

“You have a baby. Why would you want another?”

“Laurie is four. Hardly a baby. And I’m not justifying my decisions to you.” I narrowed my eyes. “Why is it so shocking that I’d want another kid? The first one came out pretty damn good.”

“She did, but one is plenty. What do you think you’re going to do? Quit your job and play house husband?” He glanced at the contract. “Seems like you just want her eggs and want her gone. Paying for her school, huh? Guess that explains why Sage mentioned her applying for classes in New York City. Free ride.”

Oliver probably kept talking, but I wasn’t listening anymore. All I could hear in my head on a constant loop was that she’d applied for school in New York City.

Miles and miles away.

I had no right to feel hurt. That had been what I’d suggested all along. We’d make a baby, then she could go to school wherever she wanted. In the back of my mind, I’d always known it was a real possibility whether I gave her the funding or not. Ally mentioning wanting to split town was less frequent these days, but every now and then, it still came up. She wanted a fresh start. Hell, she deserved one. My money could give her that.

Equal exchange. And hey, she could always come see our kid on weekends and breaks and holidays. The city was only a little over four hours away. Not that far at all.

“Fuck.” I slammed my fist into the desk, barely registering the sting.

Oliver shut the folder. “Didn’t know she was applying to schools in New York City?”

“No. I mean, I told her anywhere was fair game.”

“You told her. As if she isn’t an unencumbered adult capable of making her own choices.”

I stayed silent for that one. The truth hurt as much as my now aching knuckles.

“Don’t know if you know this, but Dad paid off mom.”

My head snapped up. “What?”

“She didn’t just take off. They made a deal. He’d finance her lifestyle elsewhere if she didn’t try to take him for half in the divorce, thereby forcing him to expose her cheating and other misdeeds in court. Neither of them wanted messy, so she went for it. Last I knew, she was living in Cabo with her new family.”

“Cabo?” I rubbed my thumb between my eyes. “Who the hell lives in Cabo?”

“Our mother does. From what I’ve heard, we have a younger half sister too. Unsubstantiated, of course. Dad isn’t exactly forthcoming on the subject, and the internet coughs up only so much.”

I didn’t say anything. My mind was so full of Ally that I couldn’t focus on anything else.

If she missed work, she must’ve gone to New York to scope out schools. There was no other explanation. If she was truly sick, she would’ve been home with Sage. And she didn’t have any other friends in town she’d stay with. Nor did her budget extend to spur-of-the-moment vacations.

“I did drive her away. Somehow.” I braced my elbow on the desk and raked a hand through my hair. “I don’t know how to do this. Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, we lose even more ground.”

“Hamilton men are meant to be single file.”

Normally I laughed off Oliver’s certainty in that direction. For a long time, I’d been half convinced of the very same thing.

Not anymore.

“Meant to end up like Dad, you mean? Bitter and alone, with only his money to keep him company?”

Oliver adjusted his tie. “He has two rather strapping sons as well. One more so than the other.”

“Keep trying with your workout routine. Persistence is key.” I tipped back in my chair. “Fuck, Ol, how do I fix this?”

No sooner had the words left my mouth, I shook my head. “No. Never mind. I did not ask for your advice. There’s desperate and then there’s suicidal.”

“Actually, maybe I should fix this.”

“What? No. God, no.”

His laughter was rich and throaty, like any good movie villain. “Seriously, man, pull yourself together. I thought you only wanted use of her eggs. And from the way you were making out the other day at Laurie’s party,” he cleared his throat, “I’m going to guess you already achieved liftoff there.”

“We weren’t making out. It was a kiss. We just kissed.”

“Hmm, and here I thought you knew how babies were made already.” Oliver whisked his fingers over the hairline straight seam of his trousers. “That might actually explain a lot.”

In spite of everything, I laughed. “Why are you still here?”

“Because you need help, and I’m a giver.”

“You don’t even like Ally. I don’t know why, but you don’t.”

“You are as dense as a two-by-four without all the uses.” He gave a heavy sigh when I stared at him. “I was jealous. Possibly.”

“Of Ally? Why?”

“Not of Ally, per se. Of your relationship with her. The two of you have always been a unit against the world. Before Ally, it was you and me, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“It’s different with Ally.”

“No kidding. But you never fully realized just how much.”

I shook my head. “No. Not until now. Even Marj—“ I stopped. “You introduced me to Marj. Kept telling me she would be great for me.”

Oliver shrugged and set aside the folder beside my sandwich wrapper on my messy desk. “I never thought you’d knock her up. Or marry her.”

“One kind of led to the other,” I said drily.

“Yes, well, some of us know how to bag it up. Then again, you’re going bag-free intentionally now, so there’s no understanding you, brother.” Oliver rose and glanced down at me with all the paternalism being two minutes older brought to bear. “Let me try to fix this.”

“No. Absolutely not. You don’t even know what the issue is, and I’m supposed to let you sweep in and muck things up even further?”

“She’s left you without a word. What further muck can I cause?”

I had no answer for that.

“As for not knowing the issue, it’s fairly clear. You made up a nonsense reason to sleep with her that didn’t require brutal honesty, and now you’ve finally realized you’re in love with her.”

“That’s completely—” I exhaled. “Accurate.”

“Now you’ll be stuck with a kid too when all you had to do was admit you wanted to fuck her. Like she would’ve said no. That woman has looked at you with heart eyes since day one.”

“So not true. I drive her crazy. If she had heart eyes—whatever the fuck that is—she wouldn’t run away from me every time I get near her. It’s like I have a fungus or something.”

Oliver held up his hands, palms out. “Officially entering territory labeled ‘do not need to know’.”

I laughed again. “Oh, and the stuck with a kid part? Wrong. I want that kid with Ally more than anything. I want a family with her. Goddammit, we already are a family, and I want it to be official.”

Oliver shook his head. “Oh no, you don’t. I already reached my wedding quota with you, pal. One was awful enough. Another would be beyond the pale.”

“I didn’t say we were getting married. Yet.” But now that the idea was rattling around in my head, I had to admit it wasn’t displeasing.

She was having my baby, assuming all went to plan. Why not be my wife too?

“Why not?” I repeated under my breath while my brother gazed at me as if I’d grown horns, a tail, and sprouted red skin.

“Before you hear wedding bells, Romeo, you need a bride. Yours is currently MIA. I offered to help you, but if you’re so certain you can continue to bungle this all on your own, then fine.”

“Seth!”

We both glanced toward the doorway as Sage scuttled into the room. Actually, that was a misnomer. A few days ago, Sage might’ve scuttled. Her self-confidence seemed to waver with the tide, and she often seemed content to hug the wall.

Today was a different story. She walked into my office with her head held high and her assets swaying. Visibly swaying in her tight denim miniskirt and a top that barely covered her breasts. Not that I paid overmuch attention. Sage was a cute girl—and I imagined she had gotten more than her share of catcalls on her way over here in that outfit—but my eyes were solely for Ally.

Now and forever.

“What are you wearing?” Oliver demanded, shocking me almost as much as Sage, who apparently had just noticed he also was in the room. She’d zeroed in on me at my desk like a laser pointer.

“Pretty sure they’re called clothes.” She sniffed at Oliver and returned her attention to me. “Ally hasn’t been to work for three days. She hasn’t been at your house so you can impregnate her, has she?”

My eyebrows lifted. So much for assuming Ally had employed discretion regarding our activities. Thanks to Ally sharing with the diner patrons her comical observations about my prowess the day after we’d first had sex, I’d understood it was known that we were lovers. But being lovers didn’t mean babymaking necessarily.

“What has she told you?”

“Are the private details besties confide in each other really important?”

“I’m her best friend, and yes, they are.”

“No, you’re the best friend with a dick, which automatically slots you lower on account of the dick.”

“She likes my dick, thank you very much.”

Oliver stepped away. “Awkward moment.”

“If she liked it so much, why did she run away? She never misses work. And she hasn’t slept in her bed. So whose bed is she sleeping in?” Sage stepped forward and impaled my chest with a flame-red nail. “Huh?”

“Thanks for the vivid picture, but I can guarantee she’s probably sleeping alone and is perfectly safe.” I tried to ignore the icy jabs of panic pricking between my ribs. “She’s extremely level-headed.”

Sage made a noise in her throat. “Until she hooked up with you.”

“Since when do you hate me?” I held out my arms. “I always thought we were good.”

“You could hurt her, so I have you under a very watchful eye, buddy. If she’s with child, she doesn’t need additional stress from your inconsistency.”

“With child?” Oliver snorted. “Welcome, Madonna. Oh, and I’ll have you know, Seth said they only kissed. Virgin birth, is it now?”

“I did not say that. I said when you saw us—never mind.”

As if I’d never spoken, Sage whirled on Oliver, swinging her hips in a way that made my brother’s eyes flare wide. “Did I ask you? No. Why are you even here? Don’t you have shameless hussies to lie with?”

“Shameless hussies? The fifties ended a lot time ago. Oh, and newsflash.” He dropped his gaze lewdly to her attire. “Depending on point of view, you might fit into one of those categories you’re casting aspersions on.”

I winced. Now he was going to get it. And he deserved it too.

Instead, Sage beamed. “Really? Do you honestly think so?” She fluffed her hair. “I’m going for a new look. Wholesome hasn’t really been working for me.”

“Why?”

“I’m hoping to encounter no-strings sex,” she said matter-of-factly.

Oliver smirked. “Encounter it? Like sex is a living, breathing entity of its own?”

“In my world, it might as well be.” She glanced back at me. “Anyway, that’s irrelevant right now. I’m worried about Ally.”

“I am too. But I’m sure she’s fine. You’ve tried calling her?” I dug out my phone. I hadn’t done anything but text her now and then, wanting to give her time and space.

No more.

“Yes. She worked on Sunday, and mentioned to me she was taking a few days personal time. But she didn’t book it with the boss, just keeps calling in sick. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“You think she went to check out a school?”

Sage shrugged. “Maybe. She didn’t say much about that either. Just that she had to start going after what she wanted and she was interested in Baruch in the city.” She tugged up her V-neck top. “Maybe we should drive down there, scope out the situation?”

“Scope out what situation? And I think we need a bit more to go on than to just pay a visit to some random school.” Oliver glanced at me. “I’m going to play a hunch, and if it pans out, I’ll get back to you.”

“Oh hell no,” Sage said. “Any hunches get routed through me. She’s my best friend.” She pointed at me. “Quiet, you. You’re the one who wouldn’t know how to give a girl the fairy tale if someone gave you a picture book with directions.”

I stayed quiet. I was still tangled up thinking about my supposed inconsistency. And handing out fairy tales—what the fuck was that about?

Perhaps I was the cause of Ally being so wary to take the next step. Mainly because I’d never told her I wanted to. But she was my closest friend. Surely she knew what I was thinking before I did. All of this had taken me by surprise. I was still feeling my way. It’s not like I was some expert.

I’d never fallen in love with my best friend before.

Never wanted to be with someone so much that everyone—and everything—else except my little girl paled in comparison.

So maybe I was screwing this up without even knowing it. By not coming clean. By not being clear and saying the words.

By not giving her the goddamn fairy tale.

“I’m handling this on my own,” Oliver told Sage. “I may be completely off-base. In any case, I have private business with Alison myself.”

I pushed my phone back in my pocket and crossed my arms. I was still working out the proper method of handling this, but obviously the phone was not it. No fairy tales granted there. “What private business?” I demanded.

“Private,” Oliver repeated, already moving toward the door. “If I find out anything, I’ll be in contact.”

Sage chased after him. “I’ll tail you in my car if you don’t tell me where you’re going.”

His laughter drifted down the hall. “Honey, you couldn’t keep up with me if you had a Ferrari. Stay here, pet.”

“Pet?” Sage spun around and propped her hands on her hips. “He’s a complete jerk. How can you even stand him?”

I jerked a shoulder. “Probably comes from sharing a womb. It creates a bond.”

“Ugh.” Sage flopped in the chair opposite my desk. “He’s going to find her and make everything worse. She needs the womanly touch, not an interfering male.”

“Ally knows her own mind. She can handle Oliver.” I gazed at the folder on my desk. My fingers were itching with the need to trace the words she’d written.

Your Ally Cat.

I pulled out my phone again, ignoring Sage’s curious stare. While Oliver did his reconnaissance, I was going to make some preparations of my own. If she wasn’t mine yet, she would be.

Before I could dial, a knock sounded at my door. The door opened. “Seth, the Parsons are on their way in to sign the papers for the—” My father broke off, his gaze alighting on Sage. “Well, hello there, Sage. What a pleasure. I didn’t expect to see you here.” My father’s smile could have burned a hole through glass.

“Hi Mr. Hamilton. I’m sorry to interrupt business.” Sage was already jumping to her feet.

“No, no, you’re never an interruption. Stay, please.” He glanced between us, a disturbing glint coming into his eyes. “I can talk to Seth later.”

I frowned. What the hell was his deal? He was always sweet as could be to Sage. In fact, he was kind to most everyone in town except Ally, which royally pissed me off. Of course, Sage’s parents had just landed one hell of a nice deal when they recently sold their B&B to a developer who had plans to make sleepy Crescent Cove “more cutting edge” and “more in line with the times.” Whatever that meant.

As much as I hated thinking my father was that shallow, this certainly wasn’t the first time I’d been confronted with the evidence that money was all that mattered to him.

But it would be the first time I called him on it.

“No, we need to talk right now.”