THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN
Lacey
“I’m sorry I never warned you that I told Dad your business,” Marcia said, offering a weak apology. “But yesterday I forced Martin to tell me what was going on with you because you’ve been distant, and he told me about the tuition and your parents working back-to-back shifts and the money problems.” Marcia leaned against me as we walked to her place. “And it accidentally slipped out to Dad. And then he was so wounded that you didn’t come to him.”
“I know. I could tell.” I sighed. “I’m just glad I don’t have to keep the secret anymore.”
“Me too. I miss you. All these extra shifts you’re working are driving me nuts. Every time I text you, you’re busy. Where are you working, anyway? I was thinking it must be driving a taxi, since you’re always all over town. But you don’t even know how to drive.”
“No.” I contemplated what I would tell her. “Running errands for people. Delivery. Bike delivery.” I wanted to tell her the truth, but I was terrified. Adding the pressure of the gala fundraiser made it all worse.
What if I told them, and they were disappointed in me?
“It’s been stressing me out so hard.” I gave her a look. “Knowing that I might have to beg your dad to let me work all year, and do schooling part-time for a couple of more years when I save up the money or get the student loan, and then not be able to move out. I’m gonna be, like, forty before I can support myself.”
“So what. I’m never moving out,” she scoffed. “So overrated. Training new staff and decorating a new house and getting used to a new neighborhood. No thanks.”
I laughed. “We don’t have the same problems.”
“No, we don’t. I would never do to Monty what you’re doing to Jordan. Monty said he’s suffering, bad. Jordan doesn’t get it. You just vanished. That’s cruel. His dad kicked him out and refuses to see him. His mom is heartbroken and left his dad. Monty said she was so shocked at how he treated Jordan, she couldn’t handle it anymore. His grandpa is even being weird. And you’ve been his friend through this and then just dumped him. Like it doesn’t matter. That’s not you.”
“I’ll talk to him, I swear.” My insides were burning. “I just need to get past my brother and all that stuff. After the gala.” I would tell everyone the truth then. And all the money would go to charity, even the money I made with the Test Dummy. I’d earn my way through school by my own wits and gumption, not deceit.
“It’s in two weeks. You’re honestly going to make him suffer for two weeks?”
“Look, Martin’s still recovering. The gala is going to be a brutal amount of work and stress for you. I still have work full-time. Kami hasn’t decided what to do about the whole Miguel thing, but no matter what, that’s a whole lot of extra in our world. I don’t have time for a boyfriend or even a casual thing with anyone. Especially someone who has all that shit happening in his life. Like you said, his life has fallen apart. We can’t both be broken. We’re no good to each other.” I sounded crazy—I could see it in her eyes. She was close to backing away with her hands up.
“Fine! Jeez. But this isn’t like you.”
“I know!”
“As soon as that gala is done and you’re back to being seminormal, you have to talk to him. If he’ll even talk to you at that point. What happened with you guys anyway?”
“Honestly, nothing. We had sex once. We talked on the phone once. We rode in a limo once. We slept in a hotel once. Nothing more.” I rearranged the events a little. “That’s it. It wasn’t like we were dating for weeks. At all. I can’t do needy guys right now.” I felt bad for saying that when the truth was so much worse. While we hadn’t done anything beyond those things, I would have been with him if not for the whole Test Dummy secrecy thing.
I needed it to end. I just had to finish the stupid jobs I’d already gotten. Including Monty.
“You coming over?” She changed the subject.
“No, I have to go home. I have to keep working that second job for a couple of nights. I can’t just quit. You have to give notice in the real world.” My lying was getting better. “Two weeks.”
“God, working sucks,” she scoffed, turning and giving me a huge hug. “Promise you’re not mad at me and doing that Lacey thing where you smile and pretend everything’s fine?”
“I swear to Prada, I’m not. I’m legit not mad. At all. Just make sure Monty understands the whole Jordan thing, please. You know how I’m his fav.” I grinned as I pulled back.
“No way. I’m letting you go down a couple of pegs.” She winked. “Spa tomorrow morning? I already booked us in for detox wraps. I’m telling Dad you need it.” She cackled and walked off, waving at me.
“You can’t milk Martin’s cancer so that I can go to the spa during work hours.”
“I can and I will,” she shouted back.
Laughing, I headed down into the subway and jumped on. But I didn’t go home. I went straight for guy number one. I didn’t even need a disguise. I had no clue who he was, and my pin camera wouldn’t show my face. I caked on extra makeup and wore sunglasses, taking off my blouse when I got there and dragging my neckline down on my tight black dress.
The guy shot me down, didn’t go for the bait at all. I couldn’t help but wonder if he could sniff my emotional unavailability from a mile away.
As I sent the email to his girlfriend, telling her he checked out, I caught the train back to Brooklyn to test a guy who worked at a bar. I wanted them all done so I could be finished with the Test Dummy once and for all.
On the train, I made my makeup more gothic, noticing a little girl watching me. She seemed fascinated by the transformation. I smiled at her, but her mom gave me a deathly stare, judging me.
I got off the train at my stop and walked the four blocks to the bar.
The bartender, a guy named Tony who liked girls with heavy makeup and had a pregnant girlfriend, hit on me the second I walked in.
“Hey, what’s a gorgeous thing like you doing in a dump like this?” He leered at me, giving me a creepy vibe.
“You hitting on me?” I asked, cracking a grin.
“Fuck yeah, if it’ll get me in that dress.” He nodded his head at the booze. “What can I get you to drink, on the house?”
“Why would you want in my dress?” I didn’t answer his drink question. I’d learned that lesson already.
“Cause you’re fucking sexy. And I can see that little freak flag of yours waving. You looking for some cock?”
“Maybe.” I made sure I got a close-up of his face as he leaned in.
“Cause I can fuck you like no one else.”
“You’ve got a dirty mouth, you know. Maybe you should watch how you use it on unassuming women coming into your bar, God forbid expecting to be treated with respect.” I got up, making my feet hate me. I’d gotten the evidence I needed in all of five minutes, and I felt more than relieved to stroll out, grossed out.
“Hey!” He ran after me on the street and spun me around. “What’s with the hot and cold, doll?”
“Leave me alone.”
“You came into my bar, asked me why I wanted to get in that skirt of yours, and now you’re telling me to get lost?” He got closer, making my entire body go on pins and needles. “I think you like it rough and you’re hoping I give it to you like that.” He grabbed my arm and started dragging me to the alley.
Shit was real and I was scared.
I hit him with my bag, kicking and pulling to get free, but he was too strong.
“Stop!” I screamed as he pushed me against a wall and pinned me there.
“I’ll stop when I’m done.” His sneer scared the shit out of me.
I shoved him, but he backhanded me, making my face feel like it was split open and my lip bleed.
Shock set in.
My vision was hazy from the hit and the surprise.
No one had ever hit me before. I couldn’t even imagine being in this situation. I suddenly realized how naive I had been, running this game without considering the risks. After the trouble I’d already gotten into at the bar and being slipped a roofie, I never expected to have another brush with misfortune. Now it was too late.
Tony’s fingers fumbled with my skirt as a dark shadow covered us both. Someone shouted, and the seedy bartender was dragged off me in an instant. I was huffing and paralyzed with fear.
Someone in a hoodie was attacking the bartender. Though I couldn’t see the features of the guy, he was punching and punching relentlessly.
“Stop!” I shouted, seeing the bartender go limp. The guy who’d saved me staggered back, toward me.
I turned and ran as fast as I could. Faster than I thought possible with ringing ears and hazy vision.
I hauled ass to the train and jumped on, my heart racing and tears in my eyes.
The looks I got then weren’t so nice. I was a girl wearing too much makeup and revealing clothes, and I had a welt on my face that spelled trouble. No one wanted to see that girl on the train.
No one offered her anything, not even a kind word or a smile.
I’d never felt so alone or judged in all my life.
By the time I got home, Grandma was in bed. She’d left me a quiche for dinner and small note reminding me to take the garbage out.
I didn’t feel like eating. I went upstairs and walked into my brother’s room.
“Oh my God.” He flinched.
“You should see the other guy.”
“Looks like business is going well.” He grimaced as he whispered. “Angry girl catch you hitting on the wrong guy?”
“Nope. The right guy tried to rape me in an alley.” His eyes widened as I shook my head. “I’m fine. He might not be. Some dude walking by heard me screaming and jumped in and beat the shit out of him. I mean, like, beat him to near death.”
“Lacey, oh my God. You should call the cops. You know this guy’s name and where he works.” He sounded psychotically angry, even with his weird raspy whisper. He was still recovering from his procedure.
“I can’t draw attention to the Test Dummy. I’m starting to believe the world needs it with how many dangerous guys are out there, waiting for their moment.” I climbed up onto Martin’s bed and snuggled him. “That was terrifying. I really feared for my safety there.”
“You didn’t see who saved you?”
“No. Typical hoodie and dark hair. Honestly, I don’t think I saw anything clearly. My eyes were fuzzy from the smack I got.”
After a couple of minutes, he asked, “Okay, look, I love you, and I get that you’re all about earning this money for school, but, dude, do you think maybe this needs to either be rethought or ended?”
“Yeah.” I hid the fact that tears were flooding my eyes.
“This is dangerous. Some guy attacked you. And chances are he would do it again. You’re lucky some random was there. I really think it’s time for you to retire or rethink this thing. I’m not willing to be the cause of you getting beat up in back alleys, Lacey. You created the Test Dummy to help save me; now, it’s time for you to take my advice and save yourself.”
“I think maybe you’re right.” I bit my lip, sniffling. “And even worse, Kami wants the video buried. She messaged the Test Dummy this evening, saying to burn it.”
“Well, I think you know what you need to do with that.”
“Of course I do. But what if anyone figures out I’m the Test Dummy?”
“Well, better to be known for that than the girl who didn’t warn the rest of the world that Miguel is a pervert and a rapist.”
“Yup.” I nodded. I’d sat on the video long enough. I’d given Kami the time to make the right choice. She hadn’t, so my hand was forced.
“Let me see your face.” He made me look at him. “Yikes. I want this guy dead.” He sounded like an evil-villain cartoon character with his voice. It made me smile and laugh, even while crying.
I sat there, thinking about the man who’d saved me.
Had he not come when he did, I’d be having a very different conversation with my brother. And the police.
As it was, the video was going to his girlfriend, and it had the whole assault, mine and his.
I would have to watch it later and see if it was clear enough what was happening. Maybe I would have two videos for the police.
But the second video wasn’t as easy as making it go viral. I would need to testify on the second one, which meant letting people know who the Test Dummy was.
The thought of that made me regret all of this.