CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Unable to stay away a moment longer, Blake rode slowly toward Belle, her face dipped toward the paper trembling in her hands as Gunner stood quietly on the knoll. Her demeanor as she’d read John’s letter had moved him deeply.
How difficult to lose a father she’d just found.
She glanced up.
“Finished?”
A smile blossomed on her lips as she nodded. “I wish the letter was ten pages long. I could read forever.”
“He was weak. Wanted to leave a letter for each daughter before . . .”
She sniffed loudly and then dried more tears with a handkerchief that looked soaked through. He pulled out his own and handed it over. God in heaven, she’s lovely. She had no idea the vision she made in her saddle, the world at her feet and the sun’s light muted by the clouds more golden than gold.
“Why would Mother leave? I know what Father’s letter said . . .”
“Don’t know. Possible her anxiety grew larger with each child she feared she’d lose. That’s all I can figure. Until she had no other choice.”
She shuffled one page behind the other. Her smile was back. She glanced over to him. “Did you know I was nursed by an Indian woman for two days right after I was born? I might have died if not for Father’s fast thinking.”
He shook his head, enjoying the closeness he felt. “I had no idea. John never shared that fact. Perhaps he was saving that admission for you alone.”
She sighed deeply and looked off at the mountains, a light shining from within.
“Aren’t you going to ask what I have for you? It is your birthday, you know.”
Her gaze jerked back. “A present?”
He lifted one shoulder. “Sort of. Look in the first stall when you get back.”
Again her face lit up. “Strider?”
He nodded. “I brought him in from pasture a few days ago. Been riding him. Gave him a stern talking-to as well. Go slow, get to know him, and you should be fine.”
“Blake! I’m so . . . I can’t . . . when did . . .”
Her happiness was easy to see. In her excitement, she was sputtering like a chipmunk.
“If I weren’t on this horse, I’d give you a hug and kiss . . . I . . .” Her words trailed off, and she glanced away, her cheeks as rosy as any spring flower.
Without saying a word, he stepped off Banjo and dropped his reins, wondering if she’d dare to take the next step. It wasn’t just the danger of the last few days. They’d worked together side by side. Like partners. Like more. It was the life he’d envisioned for himself and Ann, and he wasn’t honoring her memory by refusing to live his destiny now that he had another chance at something good. He’d lain awake all night, thinking about life. He hadn’t come up with many answers except one. He didn’t want to lose Belle. Not now that he’d just found her.
Belle swung her eyes to his. Their gazes locked. She hesitated only a moment, then dismounted, took the two steps to reach him, and slipped softly into his embrace, wrapping him in her arms as well. Her cheek rested on his chest, both their faces turned toward the far-reaching mountains. They stood in silence for an uninterrupted minute, experiencing how their bodies felt together. No rush, no embarrassment.
He was determined not to think this through—he’d done all that last night. For once in his life, he’d follow his feelings. He pulled her closer.
“Belle,” he whispered low. “Look at me.”
When she looked up, he cradled her face with his palms, admiring her beauty. He traced his thumbs over her cheeks, marveling at the wonder of her. He didn’t want to rush, but to enjoy every moment.
Finally, he lowered his lips to hers. She didn’t pull away, only leaned in closer. A cool breeze brushed past, mixing with the warm sunshine. He hadn’t realized until the moment their lips touched how much he’d desired her, thought of her, wanted her on a level unmatched by anything else.
What am I doing? Where can this go?
He had no answers, just the feel of Belle, the softness of her lips, the thunder of his runaway heart. And yet . . .
He was the first to pull away. As the impulse of the moment lessened, guilt filled him.
She’s John’s daughter!
“Blake?” She searched his face as he looked at the mountains.
She’s practically engaged.
There were a thousand reasons why this was a bad idea. He’d gone and ruined her birthday. When she’d had happy stars in her eyes from her father’s letter, he had to go and throw her into his confused fire.
What kind of a man am I?
“Blake, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
She’s apologizing to me?
He felt like a cad. Forcing a smile before looking into her face, he stepped away and chuckled, trying to bluff his way through his feelings. “I do. John was never one to back down on a dare. You Brinkmans are all the same.” He shook his head and smiled. “I know that didn’t mean a thing, so you best just forget all about it. I already have.”
Her face clouded over, and she stepped away as well.
He repositioned his hat and then forced another smile, needing to change the subject. “Did I mention what happened right before I came out here? Riley and Bush are back. Came begging for forgiveness. Said they let Praig confuse ’em in the beginning with all his fancy words. They claim they’ve got no problem working for any of you.”
The frown on her face said she understood there would be no more kisses or talk about what happened. That almost hurt the most.
“Said they had no idea Praig was planning to fight Moses, get his revenge for always bucking him when Praig was riling up the bunkhouse against me. When Praig returned to their camp with a bloodied lip and cuts on his face, they packed up and rode out. They don’t know where he is.”
“Did you take them back?”
Her tone was no longer wistful, but angry. He couldn’t blame her in the least.
“Told ’em I needed to talk with you first. See what you thought before I made any decisions. Moses hasn’t any beef with taking ’em back on.”
She cocked a brow. “Before we made any decisions.”
“Yes. Exactly that,” he replied, trying to make his tone light. The sadness in her eyes was difficult to bear.
She moved to Gunner’s head to give the gelding a rub down his face. They were over the awkwardness of the kiss as much as they could be at this point, and for that, Blake was thankful. He tried another small chuckle, but she didn’t look his way.
“What do you think about Bush and Riley?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Do you think they have anything to do with what’s been happening?”
He scuffed a boot. “I can’t imagine either of them responsible. They’ve been harmless in the past. I think they just got caught up in Praig’s nastiness and followed his lead. At least at the ranch we can keep an eye on ’em. They’re under suspicion, just like everyone else.”
At her expression of vulnerability, he wanted to kick himself. What have I done? One moment of weakness may have cost him her friendship.
She gave a deep sigh. “I have no objection. Having them back will make finishing the roundup easier.”
“Yes.”
“And I’ll be able to spend more time in town with Katie and the rest of my sisters.” She went to Gunner’s side and mounted up with no help.
Blake rubbed a hand across his face and followed suit, knowing a marker had been passed between them. He’d miss her questions and presence by his side, but this was best. A little distance was exactly what they needed.