Elliott
Once Cass fell asleep, I watched her for a while. The soft, relaxed expression on her face from sleep, she always looks so under pressure lately - whether that’s my doing I don’t know, maybe it is. Dipping my head, I kiss her forehead, lingering there for a little longer than I should, her soft skin against my lips. It’s going to be a while before I get to have her like this again. Her head is on my chest as I finger through her hair. I know I have to leave, I don’t want her to feel awkward in the morning and as much as I want us to get back to where we were - she’s right I need to think of my son.
Slipping out from the bed gently, I pull the covers back over her and after one smaller kiss to the top of her head, I step away.
“I’ll always love you, Cass. You never left me once. You’ll always be my girl,” I whisper. I quietly close the door behind me and tiptoe down the stairs. I throw my clothes back on and with one last look at Cameron’s picture hanging on the wall, I leave, taking her keys from the table by the door, I softly pulling it closed locking it and posting the keys back through the letterbox.
This is day one of my future and I’m taking control of it.
“Where were you last night, you dirty bastard,” Dale says as I walk down the stairs.
“Sorry, Mum. I meant to call.” I scowl, curling my lip at my brother. Walking past him and clicking on the kettle for a cup of tea, I sit at the table.
“Are you working back at the pub? “
“Yep.” To say I’m really not that talkative today is an understatement, I need to figure out how to tackle all this. I need to talk to Cass, properly - away from anywhere which might result with her beneath me, which means no private meetings - no houses, only public places.
I agreed to this and I intend to keep my end of the agreement.
Lifting the kettle, I pour the boiling water from the cup and make my tea. I take it with me and sit on the couch. Looking around the room gets me thinking about Mum, I wonder what she would have said to me about all this if I’d given her the time to discuss it If I’d have come back in time like she asked me too.
“Want to share?” Dale asks breaking me from my thinking.
“I was just thinking…”
My eyes carry on searching for something, looking for an epiphany, or some shit like that, but nothing comes.
“Okay. I was with Cassidy last night.” His eyes widen, and mouth drops open in shock.
“Are you two back together?”
“Nope, as much as I want it - no. We did come to an agreement though, Cass wants me to concentrate on Cameron first...” I shrug. “I need to get my know my son.”
Dale nods in agreement.
“She’s worried it’ll get in the way plus I think she’s right, there’s too much shit hanging around us at the moment to focus on us, Cam comes first. I want to get to know him, I want him to trust me. We never had that with our Dad and I don’t want it to be like that for him.”
“It’s a pity you didn’t do that a few years ago.”
“Fuck you, Dale!” I fume. “I was still performing how would that have worked out - me going on tour all the while. I’d have been away more than here, that would have been worse.
"I wasn’t being an arsehole, I was just stating a fact.”
Rolling my eyes at his ‘stating a fact, I bite back.
“Well, it’s a pity you didn’t state that fact when you found out she was pregnant all those years ago and when you found out he was mine, so keep your fucking thoughts to yourself, yeah?”
I look down into my tea, no answers at the bottom of my cup either.
“You know what hurts the most about all of this…?”
Dale’s head lifts as he waits for me to answer.
“All the people that say they love me and wanted me to come back, no one told me. It’s fucked up priorities that’s all, but Cass and me, are trying to get through this and work together as to what’s best for Cam. I’m trying my best for both of them.”
Dale, does look sorry for his comments at least.
My tummy grumbles for food, I can’t do all this on an empty stomach.
“I’m going for breakfast, you coming?”
I slip my feet into my trainers and throw on my baseball cap then grab my keys.
“Fuck yeah!”
Dale stands from the chair and walks towards me. “Elliott, I’m sorry - okay? I should have stuck by you, you’re right I should’ve told you, but Cass only did what she thought was best and so did the rest of us. She wanted you to have the best of everything.”
He pats me on the back and heads out the door before me leaving me with more to think on.
The cafe is packed but we manage to find a small table in the corner. The owner comes over takes our orders and leaves us to it. Grabbing the newspaper left on the table, I open it up and start flicking through the pages.
“So, what’s happening with Cam?”
I raise my gaze up to find dale looking straight at me with a serious expression on his face.
“Erm, not sure yet. I need to speak with her.”
“You mean you didn’t talk last night?”
“We did a little bit. It got a little heated.” I grin tightly.
“Oh man! You slept with her?”
“What the lady wants, the lady gets.”
“And what fucking good can come from that?!” He asks in a hushed, irritated tone.
“I couldn’t help myself. We talked, we argued, I kissed her... the rest well, I’m sure you can figure that out all by yourself or do you need a lesson about the birds and the bees?” I smirk winding him up some more.
It’s not long before our plates are placed down in front of us halting the conversation…
“Well, you need to look out big brother, remember bees sting,” Dale says as he places the food he’s gathered on his fork and puts it into his mouth, leaving me with my thoughts yet again. The chatter comes to a close while we eat, or at least mine does I’m bloody starving.
“Did you become some kind of monk and not tell me or has some bird chopped off your dick and gave you a pussy because you’re fucking acting like one.”
“Fuck off!” He mumbles around his full mouth of food. “She doesn’t deserve to be hurt again.”
“Why the fuck do you think we’re doing it this way? At least we get to know one another again, while I get to know my son. Is that alright with you?”
He raises his middle finger at me while we eat the rest of our breakfast with mindless chat, spending some quality time with my little shit of a brother.
Watching him, I can tell he has a lot to say - so much he needs to offload but can’t. I worry about him. I know losing Mum is still playing on him, me too, but he’s younger, he’s only twenty-seven, he’s way too young to lose his only parent. I’m going to make sure though that I make it up to him. I can even forgive him for hiding the news about Cameron, anyone else and they wouldn’t stand a chance...
I keep looking at my phone, I’m expecting it to ring but it doesn’t. I want it to ring, I need to talk to Cass. Man, up dickhead! Picking up my phone again I pull up her number. I can do this. As it rings I consider about putting it down but…
“Hey.”
“Hi. Erm, we need to talk, Cass.”
“Yeah, it didn’t go so well last night did it?”
“Well, I don’t know about that?”
Her laughter floats through the speaker putting a smile on my face.
“Keep it clean, Elliott Chase.”
“Okay,” I chuckle. “So, we need to talk about Cameron.”
“Yes, we do. We didn’t get that far, did we. We could meet?”
“Alright, where are you thinking?”
“You could come around here…”
“Nope!” I cut her off, “I mean no thanks, public places only.”
“Okaaaay.”
“Cass, I can’t be anywhere private with you. We’ve been alone three times and every time has resulted in me kissing you and wanting to strip you naked - well, the last time I did strip you naked…I can’t. I’m going by your rules here. I can’t keep my fucking hands off you when we’re alone.”
She laughs again and it’s not helping the tenting in my boxers thinking about her naked or even being alone with her. My hand covers the hardened tool in my jeans hoping to calm it down a little but it’s not working.
“Elliott, please don’t say things like that.”
“It’s just the truth, babe.”
“Okay, fine. How about Monday, once Cam has gone off to school, I’ll meet you in the cafe in the village around nine-thirty?”
“Yep, that suits me.”
“Right then, I’ll see you Monday.”
“See you Monday. Oh, and if it means anything I’m glad we can be friends.”
“Me too, Elliott. See you at work.”
“Bye Cass.”
I click the call button and rest my phone on the arm next to me. Dale has gone out, so I have some time to myself.
Grabbing my guitar from my room, I sit on the couch. Getting myself situated, I place the guitar on my legs as I take the plectrum from between my teeth with my thumb and index finger and begin to work the strings. Automatically the notes to Always by Bon Jovi sound out - this was our song, mine and Cassidy’s. It brings back so many memories of when we were kids, sitting up on my bed in my bedroom, this bed, this very bedroom, her head lay on my thigh, her dark hair fanned out around her - I remember it like it was yesterday.
I wake up a few hours later with a stiff neck from my head being propped up against the bars in the headboard. My guitar is half lying on me and the bed where it’s slipped off me as I’ve slept. Rolling from the bed, I wipe the sleep from my tired eyes and stand, placing my guitar in the corner and use the bathroom. Lifting my wrist up closer to my face I squint to see the time, one forty-five a.m. Shaking my head I strip down to my boxers and crawl into bed, finding sleep again as soon as I’ve got myself comfy.
Work was a lot more pleasant tonight knowing that Cass and I were on speaking terms again, but every smile I got, or every sweet-sounding giggle she made, Carson scowled. What the fuck is his problem?! Fuck it, I do my set, but I don’t stay for a beer after instead, I grab my leather after putting my gear in the car and walk back in to tell them I’m off.
Carson and I shake hands then I turn to Cassidy. “I’m off. Are you okay to get home?”
“Yeah thanks, I have my car outside.” I nod and smirk but don’t look away.
“No private places...remember. Your rules, Mr. Chase.” She winks and my head shakes with a grin. A glimmer of the sixteen-year-old I fell in love with makes an appearance and I can’t help but pine for what I lost. Her striking blue eyes, encased with long black eyelashes stand out against her blonde hair and pale skin, her lips glisten as she licks them to rid the dryness I expect. I still think If I hadn’t have listened to her mother maybe we would still be together. I could have sorted the rest myself, but by the time I’d stayed away for a year, one rolled into the next and it got harder to come back.
She stares up at me, her gaze holding mine, if I could kiss her right now I would, I’d kiss her and not let go and make up for lost time, the other night just wasn’t enough. My hand reaches out...
A cough from the side of us breaks the trance and Carson is tapping his fingers on the bar, stopping me.
“Right then I’ll be off. See you in the morning.” I smile and turn on my heel.
The door opens before I get to it, my forehead pulls into a frown, Carson mustn’t have locked the door.
“Matt, what are you doing here?” Cass asks seemingly confused.
Fuck, I forgot about him - the little weasel. He glares at me as he walks past me and stands before Cassidy.
“I’ve come to pick you up.”
“But I’ve got my car.” She frowns.
I’m not leaving now until I know she’s okay. Leaning against the frame of the door I wait.
“You know I bring my car to work and I’m just finishing up and heading home.”
“I’ll follow you home.”
“She’s a big girl you know,” I say just to piss him off. He turns to me then with an aggravated look on his face.
“I suppose you thought you were going to take her home?”
“What’s your fucking problem?”
“She’s seeing me not you.”
I laugh at the stupidity of it all. I laugh because this little dick doesn’t know the first thing about me or Cass he just thinks he does.
“Wow. I better stay away then... hadn’t I?”
Walking towards him, I stare him down, I see the bravado he had just a few seconds ago start to diminish as I tower over him.
“Matt, come on. We need to talk anyway.”
She drags him from the bar by his hand and I laugh.
“You’re a sick bastard,” Carson says with a shake of his head. I shouldn’t taunt him I know this, but he shouldn’t piss me off either.
“What’s going on between you and Cassidy?”
“Let’s just say we’re on mutual ground... for now. Later.” Walking back to the door I lift my hand above my head in a wave and head out, my eyes flick around but Cassidy’s car has gone I’m pleased to say so I get in the car and go home.