Cassidy
Elliott walks from the room while I’m grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I love how they have their own little ways with each other. I was a little worried there’d be some teething problems between them, but they are so alike in so many ways - I should have known better but you can never be sure really.
Upstairs I can hear the boys shouting at the game they’re playing, it’s more Elliott, Cam is obviously beating him again... Cameron’s questions confused me, and I know Elliott clicked on to what he was asking, hmm. I think it’s time me and my delightful mother got this out in the open once and for all.
Slipping my shoes on and jogging up the stairs, I stand in the doorway of Cameron’s room. Elliott’s eyes raise up to look at me but not fully.
“You alright, babe?”
Shaking my head at them amused.
“I'm just popping out, I won’t be long. Are you two okay?”
“Yeah of course we are. Are you?” He frowns.
“Yep, just something that needs to be done.”
Elliott glances at me again, knowingly. He nods, and I smile.
“I won’t be long. Cam, go easy on your dad please.”
“Can’t make any promises, Mum. Sorry.”
Elliott looks at Cam with wide eyes and a slight crease to his brow, then at me, making me smile.
“Right, I won’t be long.”
“Bye!” They shout in unison.
‘Son me and you need to talk about this’. I hear Elliott say as I head back down the stairs. Smiling at them for a second, I grab my car keys and leave.
Mum’s car is on the drive when I get there, so either she was lying when she said she had to go shopping or she got it done in record time….
I’m sick of this bullshit!
Opening the door, I walk in. She always keeps the door unlocked even though I tell her not to.
“Mum, it’s only me.”
Walking further into the house I can’t find her downstairs, so I head upstairs. Finding her in her bedroom sitting on her bed I lightly tap the door and wait. She turns to look over her shoulder.
“Come in.”
“I think we need to talk. Have you got a few minutes?”
She nods. She doesn’t seem herself. Walking around the bed and sitting down, I notice some letters in her hands.
“What have you got there?”
She hands them over but still hasn’t spoken. Taking the letter from her I see my name at the top. I recognise the writing straight away, they’re my letters. The letters Elliott wrote to me; the ones I never received…
“Are you kidding right now?”
Glancing down and reading the last line creates a lump in my throat which I can’t swallow down.
“Just know Cass, you’ll always have my heart, I’ll always love you for as long as I live.”
“Elliott told me he’d sent me more letters and I didn’t believe him I thought he was making it up - I thought he was just trying to make it my fault.”
I can feel my temper beginning to boil, taking a deep breath I calm myself and ask her the question I’ve wanted to know for the last few months.
“How could you?”
Turning my head to the side I look at my Mother, the person who is supposed to be on my side no matter what, the person who is supposed to love you no matter what choices you make.
“I thought I was doing you a favour.”
“No one would have been good enough for me in your eyes, but that doesn’t give you the right to take my choices away from me.”
“You weren’t old enough to be in that kind of relationship you didn’t know what love was?”
“No? But I was old enough to have a baby and look after that baby? I was broken Mum. He was everything to me. Yes, it hurt me when he went, but I told him to go - I couldn’t be selfish, unlike you of course?”
My hand covers my heart as I tell her, the pain coming back to me like it was yesterday.
“I’d known I was pregnant for a month before I told you, I wanted to tell Elliott first when he came home but that’s something else you’d taken away from me, us.”
“If you hadn’t been as far gone at the time and it was my decision, I’d have sent you for an abortion.”
I try to process what she’s just said to me, “here you may as well have all of these.”
She passes the four maybe five letters over and places them in my palm. The lump that was in my throat comes back with a vengeance as tears prick at my eyes making a lone tear fall. Quickly swiping it away I turn back to look at her.
“How could you say that to me? That’s your grandson! I don’t think I’ve ever disliked anyone as much as I dislike you right now mother. What did I ever do to you?”
It suddenly comes back to me what Cam said to us this morning.
“What did you say to Cam?
“What about?” She rolls her eyes at my question.
“About Elliott. Cam asked Elliott this morning why you don’t like him very much. So, what did you say?”
“I just told him that we didn’t get along and I don’t like him.”
“He’s done nothing to you! So not only did you use me as your poison you’re now using your grandson?”
Nodding I stand abruptly, she looks up at me.
“Well, I have news for you. Elliott and I are getting back together, we love each other, and he loves his son. I don’t give a shit what you think or say, I am an adult and I can make my own decisions. As for Cameron you can see him but until you have an apology for me and Elliott I suggest you stay away and don’t speak to us. I want nothing more to do with you. I can’t even look at you.”
“Don’t do this? Please Cassidy?”
“You should have thought of that before your twisted and bitter mind took over your sanity.”
She doesn’t say anything. Taking one last look at the woman who gave birth to me I turn away disgusted and walk to the door before she speaks, stopping me.
“I’m sorry, Cassidy. I really am.”
“It’s too little too late.” I tell her with my back still facing her, without another word I walk away from her. I don’t stop until I reach my car. Sitting inside, the breath I was holding puffs out, sobs wracking my body. Opening my palm there are the letters I’d tightly fisted, creased. Smoothing them out on my leg, I quickly leaf through them, every one of them signing off with ‘Always yours’.
Wiping the tracks of my tears from my cheeks I start the engine and head home to my family. God that sounds good! My family.
As I walk through the front door, Elliott is in the kitchen, he turns, I give the door a push as I walk through it and let it shut behind me. Standing in the hallway, my head dips as my hands cover my face, his strong arms wrapping around me while I cry.
“Hey, shhh. Let it go. I’m here.”
He guides us into the living room and sits us down on the couch, cradling my head against him and he lets me cry. The letters are again clutched inside my hand. Elliott, prises my hand open taking them from me, recognition filling his eyes. He keeps his one arm around me and holds the letters with the other hand, his eyes questioning.
“Are these what I think they are?” I nod in answer, hiding my face in his chest.
“Your mother had them?”
“All along.” I nod sobbing. Laying them down on the couch, his other arm goes around me, squeezing me as he kisses the top of my head.
“I’m done Elliott. She’s vindictive. She kept us apart for no purpose whatsoever, just her own selfish needs.”
Lifting my head, I look at him before going on, “you know what the worst part was? She wanted me to have an abortion!” I whisper, well, try to for my sons sake - I don’t need Cam hearing that. “I’m so angry. I want nothing more to do with her.”
His hands cup my face lifting it, so he can look directly into my eyes.
“Don’t say that. I know she’s done wrong but she’s your mother. When she’s gone, she’s gone, there’s no coming back from that. Even though we’ll probably never see eye to eye, she’s still your mum and you only ever have one., no matter what they’ve done wrong. Don’t let what happened in the past come between you, if we can get past it then I’m sure you two can. There’s a little boy up there that needs his grandmother, she’s the only one he has.”
He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose tenderly then places his forehead to mine and smiles softly.
“You’re such a good man Elliott Chase. I love you with every piece of my soul, you know that? We have so much time to catch up on and I don’t want to miss a minute of it.” I gently rub my nose against his.
“We have the rest of our lives baby. I ain’t going anywhere, unless you and my boy are with me.