It was day ninety, and I hadn’t left my apartment since I’d returned from Texas. What was the point? Everything I needed came to my door. Well, almost everything.

I missed Colton. Not his harsh words but his soft ones—the ones that used to wake me every morning. “Wake up darlin’. I have breakfast ready.” He’d slide a perfectly toasted Pop Tart onto the nightstand and hand me a cup of steaming coffee. That was foreplay, and it would always lead to the most amazing sex.

I missed snuggling up on the couch with him and watching scary movies because I always knew when I climbed into bed, I’d get a happy ending.

I stared out my wall of windows, pressing my forehead against the cool glass. The ocean was peppered with surfers in black wetsuits, bobbing up and down with the tide, waiting to catch the perfect wave. Girls dressed in floss walked the beach. The same woman jogged past my apartment every morning, wearing the same pink pants, and a frown.

Max came over for coffee as usual, and every morning, he dropped hints about what Colton was up to and he pried me for information. Every morning, I avoided the subject.

When the doorbell rang, I plodded across the marble floor in my bunny slippers.

Max was there as usual with two cups of steaming brew. Everything was back to normal. At least I pretended it was. Inside, my chest was hollowed out. I never imagined it could feel emptier. I grew up without the daily dose of love you get from parents. My heart had been walled off and protected until Colton plowed into me like a wrecking ball and broke down my defenses. He filled me up with love without ever uttering the words I love you, and then he bulldozed into my unprotected heart and destroyed me.

Max followed me into the kitchen where I transferred our coffee into real mugs. I pulled out a bowl of fruit and plopped it in the center of the table.

“What’s that?” He looked at the fruit as if I’d offered him a bowl of smallpox.

I grabbed two bowls and two spoons. “It’s breakfast. I’m out of Pop Tarts.”

He inhaled sharply. “That’s not possible.”

I exhaled with resignation. “One thing I learned this summer was anything is possible.” That part was true. I learned that I could accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. Hell, I grew a garden. I cooked and didn’t kill anyone. I started a fire and didn’t burn down the house. I fought off a bear—a bear of a man that is.

Max picked up the fruit and shoved it back into the refrigerator. “We’ve been having Pop Tarts together for two decades. I don’t want fruit.” He said it like a school bus driver telling a kid to sit down.

“I don’t have anything else. You’ll have to live with the disappointment.” I picked up my cup and sipped. Even the coffee tasted different without Colton. It was as if the bitterness had doubled.

Max started for the door. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes.” He was gone before I could say a word.

I dragged my feet to my desk to finish the letter I had started to my parents this morning.

Dear Michelle and Trenton,

I hope this letter finds you both happy and healthy.

How is Malta? I was looking at pictures of the island the other day, and I thought about how isolated it is from the rest of Europe. Close enough to be part of the family, but far enough to feel alone.

I am Malta.

I spent the last ninety days trying to figure out who I am and who I’m not. I’m not the woman I thought I was. I’m more. I’m an island. I can weather a storm, and I’m still here. People can trample me, and I still stand. You can overlook me, but I still exist.

I’m a gardener.

I’m a cook.

I’m a photographer.

I’m a woman who loves deep and hurts deeper. It took falling in love and getting my heart broken to know it was all worth it.

My heart is no longer closed, but open to the possibilities of more. Not the more afforded by wealth, but the more offered by love. There is someone out there who will love me.

I understand how angry you were about the release of the picture. I didn’t sell it to hurt you. I sold it to help someone else. I did it knowing full well I’d lose everything you offered. But don’t you see? I never wanted your money. I wanted your love.

I fell in love. He broke my heart. I sold a picture so he could have everything he deserved. I don’t regret it. I only regret that it didn’t work out.

I’ve put my apartment up for sale. I’m not sure where I’ll land in the future, but I’ll let you know once I get settled. If you’re ever ready to embrace “Malta” my heart will be open and waiting.

Love your daughter,

Nikola

I swiped at the tears running down my cheeks and pressed send.

The doorbell rang again, and I muttered under my breath. I didn’t understand why Max insisted on ringing the bell when he had a key.

“I’m coming,” I grumbled as I pulled my pink chenille robe tight around my waist.

It all happened so fast. I opened the door, and I was knocked flat on my ass by a slobbering ball of yellow fur.

“Bo. Sit.” His voice swirled in my head, and a pang of longing squeezed my heart like a relentless fist.

The dog backed off and sat next to me. I lay on the floor looking into eyes I never thought I’d see again.

“What are you doing here?” I scrambled back trying to gain distance.

“Can I come in?” He stood at the entrance and looked around my apartment.

On wobbly legs, I stood upright and followed his gaze. What did my place look like through his eyes? Was it the Hollywood he expected, or was it something different? I couldn’t tell. His eyes were tired and lifeless.

“Yes, come on in.” I stepped aside and let him pass me.

He walked straight to the window and let out a slow, appreciative whistle. “That's some view.”

I stood ten feet back and took in the way his jeans hugged his perfect ass. “Yes, it is.” I cleared my throat and my thoughts. “Why are you here?”

He turned toward me and took me in from top to bottom. I recognized the heat in his expression. It was no longer lifeless. There was a fire burning inside him. I could see it in the sapphire coloring of his eyes. They only turned that color when charged with passion.

“I needed the help of a graphic artist.” He looked at the white chair and nodded toward it. “Can I sit?”

“Yes, sit.” I tilted my head the way Bo did when he was confused. “You drove here from Texas for graphics help?”

My slippers scuffed across the floor to the couch where I plopped into the soft cushions. “Anyone could have helped you with that.” I patted the edge of the couch. Bo approached and lay at my feet.

“I’m not looking for just anyone.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m looking for you.”

“I don’t understand.”

He pulled one of the brochures from his back pocket and slapped it on the coffee table in front of me. “This is all wrong.”

Heat built in my chest. “You drove two days to tell me you didn’t like the brochure? You could have saved yourself the time and emailed me or hired someone more competent. I’m a Hollywood whore or did you forget that?” The words snapped out of my mouth like a horsewhip. By the jolt to his head, I knew I’d hit my mark.

“I never called you a whore.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled it back and curled myself into the corner of the couch.

“You implied it. That’s just as bad.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I reacted out of jealousy. I responded like a small boy who’d had his favorite marble taken.”

“I’m your favorite marble?”

Colton dropped to his knees in front of me. “You’re my only marble, and I got upset when I knew people were looking at you.”

Bo and Colton sat side by side on the floor below me. I wasn’t sure who looked more pathetic, him or the dog. Both looked up at me with sad puppy eyes.

“Did Max put you up to this?”

Colton laid his head in my lap. “No, Max told me he’d beat me to within an inch of my life if I came near you.”

I almost ran my fingers through his hair but stopped myself just before I touched him. “So why are you here?”

“Because an ass beating from Max is worth another minute with you. I’m so sorry. I regret every word that came out of my mouth.”

I couldn’t resist touching him for another minute. I ran my fingers through his curls. They were soft and felt like home to my hands.

“What do you want from me besides graphics help?”

“Fuck the graphics, it was my way in the door. What I want is you.” He climbed my body and straddled my lap. “I want a do-over.”

I laughed. I’d never heard a man ask for a do-over. “Okay. Let’s do it over.” I pushed him back so I could see his face clearly. “Colton, I sold your picture so I could pay for the party.”

His eyes softened. “Why would you do that?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Because I love you.” I held my breath until my lungs were about to burst.

“I can’t believe you’d give up so much for me.” He reached out and traced my lips as a gush of air swept past them.

“You were worth the risk.”

“Were?” He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. “I want to be worth the risk forever.”

I drew in a deep breath and inhaled his scent. I didn’t understand how he could harness the smell of fresh air. Blended with his citrus body wash, he was perfect.

“Forever?” Surely he didn’t mean forever, forever. “What happens when other men get a glimpse of what’s yours?”

He rolled to the side and pulled me to his lap. “I’m going to tell them to eat their hearts out because every inch of you belongs to me.” He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled my head down, so my lips met his. “I love you. I think I loved you since that first night you nearly burned the cabin down.”

Our lips pressed together. “I didn’t almost burn down the cabin. I suppose I could have, but I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t. You ignited a flame that’s been burning in my heart ever since. Nikola, come home with me.” He looked over my shoulder and scanned my apartment. “You’re not couture clothing, you're torn, wet T-shirts. You’re not Hollywood high-rise, your cozy cabin. You're not beach blankets,” he leaned down to pet the dog's velvet-like ears, “your Bo’s mom. He misses you. I miss you. Come home with us.”

Colton’s lips never gave me a chance to respond. His mouth was on mine. His body was on mine. We shimmied out of our clothes and came together as one.

A key jingled in the lock, and both of our heads popped up like gophers. Max stopped dead on the threshold of the apartment.

“Oh.” He looked down at the box of Pop Tarts in his hand. “I’ll just be a minute.” He raced to the kitchen to get his coffee. “There’s a condom in the nightstand if you need it. Glad to see you two. Not actually see you. That might scar me for life, but it is nice to see you back together.”

Colton braced himself with one hand and pointed to the door with the other. “If you’re not going to kick my ass, then get yours the hell out of here.”

Once we heard the click of the door, Colton thrust himself inside me, and every bit of loneliness and emptiness was filled with joy.