Chapter Five
I sat up, the blinding sight of setting sun rays spraying through the windows. I coughed. I couldn’t believe what I had let myself do. I turned over to find none other than David Franke lying next to me, his back to me but his naked body catching the sun. A smile played on my lips, at the proof that this had not been a dream. It really happened. I sat up, gasping as my head tried to reorient itself, then swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. My legs still felt wobbly from the sex we had. And even at that, I couldn’t deny the fact that I wanted more.
His eyes flickered open as I slowly started gathering my articles of clothing and placing them on the grandfather chair.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he sat up and beckoned towards me.
A smile played on my lips as I walked to him, sighing as he put his arms around my waist, resting his head on my belly. “Hey.”
He inhaled deeply, his grip getting tighter. “You are absolutely magnificent.”
I couldn’t deny the way my heart melted at those words. “Is that so?”
But then he pulled away from me, getting off the bed and slipping on his briefs. “Yes, but I’m afraid I have about a million things to do tonight.”
I nodded, falling all the way back down to reality. I had to get okay with the fact that this might never happen again, that my fairy tale was over and I was now going to work with him for three months, simply pretending this had never happened in the first place. I put my own clothes on, albeit a little slower. “Who should leave first?”
He shrugged. “You can go. I need a moment to gather my thoughts. Jennifer took John to the park. You’ll find them there.”
I snickered as I stepped into my dress. “What thoughts?”
He shrugged, keeping his straight face. “All of them.”
Once I had finished putting all of my clothes on, I went to the door, fully prepared to leave that afternoon and that man, the feel of his touch on my body, the taste of his kiss, far behind me. But just as I was about to turn the knob, he said, “When will I see you again?”
I froze, but then opened the door and let it shut behind me. My emotions were all over the place as I went to get John. There was no doubt I wanted to see this man again, no doubt, I needed him in my life, inside of me, no doubt my body was positively addicted to him. But what if this ever got out? What would people think of me? They might swear that I got this part with my pussy and not my talent. And that was the worse thing that could ever happen to me, for people to think that I don’t deserve what I get.
Once I got home, I made John some mashed potatoes and gave him a bath. After he was settled in front of Wonder pets, I stepped into the shower and let the cool water wash over me, cleansing me of my experience and ossifying it so that it was no more than an ancient memory to be pulled out when I was alone with my vibrator.
Just when I had clothed myself again and was about to plug in my hairdryer, my phone started ringing. I didn’t recognize the number but picked it up anyway. A woman’s voice filled the receiver. “Is this Laila Rhodes?”
“Yes?” My heart fluttered. Could it be yet another casting agent? Was this my month of luck?
“Hi, this is Jessica, Marianne Franke’s assistant.”
At that moment the truth came crashing down around me. Of course. I had sent in a demo to Marianne’s agency months ago and she was finally getting back to me. A stone dropped into the pit of my stomach. What timing, now that I had just fucked her almost-ex-husband. “Oh yes, hi Jessica.”
“We would like you to come in for a sit-down interview tomorrow afternoon. What’s your availability?”
My eyes widened. How could this be possible? “I’m available anytime after lunch.” My voice came out thin and raspy.
I could almost hear the smile in Jessica’s voice. “Great. Why don’t you come in at 1.”
I stood frozen in the middle of my bedroom for almost ten minutes after she hung up.
***
With John at nursery school until 4, I took a bus into downtown LA this time. There was no way I was going to spend another twenty dollars on a car. After half a mile of walking from the bus stop, I came to a stop in front of the high rise that housed her world-renowned talent agency. My heart fluttered in my chest because I wanted to do well, but also because I knew I was hiding the worst secret ever.
With a deep breath, I walked through the revolving doors and gave the receptionist my name. Within five minutes, I was being sent up the elevators to the top floor of the building, straight to Marianne’s office. My stomach churned and rolled as the elevator dinged with each floor. How can I look that woman in the face, knowing I had fucked her husband. What would she do if she ever found out? She had the kind of power that could get me blacklisted for good. What the hell was I thinking?
Finally, I had stepped out of the elevator. I walked the long, lonely hallway until I got to the big, wooden double doors at the end of it. There was a buzzer next to it.
“Come in.” I recognized Jessica’s voice.
I pushed open the doors to find a small waiting room with a desk on the far wall. Jessica, a woman with an edgy, blonde bob-cut and nails that cost at least $80, motioned at the door behind and to her right. “You can go right in.”
I smiled at her and went through the door, shutting it behind me. Before me, at a huge, mahogany desk with three monitors, sat Marianne Franke. Her gorgeous face almost glistened from the sunlight streaming in through the large bay windows behind her desk. She smiled at me, her red lips stretching across her face. “Oh hello, Laila. Please sit.”
She gestured at the leather seat on the other side of her desk, and I obeyed.
As I was getting comfortable, she pulled my file from a drawer and opened it in front of us. “So tell me,” She started, her eyes on my file. “Why do you want to be an actress?”
I tried not to gulp. “I’ve wanted it ever since before I could remember.”
She nodded slowly, continuing to flip through my action shots, headshots, play stills.
“When someone asks you a question, you should answer it.” She met my gaze, her cold, gray eyes fixated on me, freezing me in my spot.
When my mouth opened again, the words came out flustered and strained. “I, well I always loved playing other people.”
“You didn’t like being yourself?”
I was failing this interview. No doubt. “I love myself.”
A slow smile stretched across her face. She let her eyes linger on mine for another moment before turning her gaze back to my file. “We’re getting somewhere. So, if you love yourself so much, why don’t you tell me what it is about you that will make me money.”
I raised an eyebrow. The answer was obvious to me. Suddenly, I didn’t feel nervous at all. I was exactly in my element. “I’m one of a kind. When people cast, they will want to book me and only me, because there’s no room for anyone else in my niche.”
She nodded slowly. “And what niche is that?”
Suddenly, all thoughts of my morning with David, my night before, the role I had just landed, all of it, slipped from me, and I could finally ground myself in this moment. I was taking charge of the situation, of my life. For the first time, I felt like I was in control of my own future, which is all an aspiring actress can really ask for. “I’m the type of performer who will bring my own feel to a role while disappearing in it entirely. I will bring a character to life the way only I can.”
I couldn’t ignore the gleam in her eye. I saw it, just before she looked back down on my file. “I understand you just landed a contract with David Franke’s new project?”
I blinked, taken aback at the way she said his name like she didn’t know him. “Yes?”
“Have you signed it?”
I felt like I was being accused of something. “No.”
She nodded. “Good.” She slammed the book shut, the noise echoing through the room. “So, I have a few rules,“ she said stepping around the desk and walking around the room. “Firstly, don’t ever sign a contract I haven’t seen. Don’t sign a contract I don’t agree on. Just don’t sign unless I tell you to. Got it?”
I nodded.
“All right,” she continued. “Make sure you run every job past me. Stay outside of the papers, the magazines, everything. We need to control all of your visibility. If I see you in a tabloid I wasn’t expecting to see I will drop you, understand?”
I nodded again.
She turned from the window to face me. “And finally, no relationships.”
I gulped, the irony of it killing me.
“You’re young, a baby, incapable of taking care of yourself. If you get involved with anyone, especially someone with a platform, you will end up drowning. Understood?”
I nodded again, my heart racing.
Suddenly, I was drowning anyway, drowning in the feeling that I had lost control all over again.