Chapter 13

Jenna tried her best to get into party planning mode, but her mental implosion left her stumped for a few days. Talking to her dad seemed useless; he didn’t carry the same burden she’d put on herself. She considered it her duty to take care of them, to look after Paul especially, because her mother wasn’t there to do so. It was a revelation she’d come to after a few sessions in grief counseling that had been offered to her when she returned to school a few years back.

However, even the psychobabble didn’t alter how she felt. She couldn’t control it. She couldn’t lift the burden. But seeing Tanner’s face flashing across her cell phone screen did bring a smile to her lips. He’d stayed away, giving her the space she needed to be alone with her thoughts and feelings, and until now she’d let his calls go to voicemail, but today she decided to answer.

“Hey, Tanner.” She tried to make her voice as upbeat as possible.

His mood, on the other hand, was solemn. “Hey, just calling to check on you. I spoke to Mr. F the other day and all he would tell me was you were still sick. You told him what happened, right?”

“I tried, Tanner,” she said, dropping the facade of cheeriness. “I really tried, but the more I talked, the more he just said to get over it and not to worry about him.”

“I see the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree,” Tanner laughed.

“What?”

“That’s the same thing you were saying about him a couple weeks ago when he had his meltdown about you wanting to paint the bar.”

“I guess I was kind of a tool about that, huh?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You were.”

“You’re not supposed to agree with that!” she chided.

“Right, because we’ve always had a relationship where we coddle each other’s opinions and self-esteem. At least you sound a lot better.”

“Yeah, and my body’s starting to catch up to that feeling too. It helps that my birthday is coming up. I’m pretty excited about that. I actually wanted to run some ideas by you and see what you thought. Do you have some free time today?”

“I’ll have free time if you come over here,” he told her. “I’m in the house all day today. I only have these next few weeks to get ready. If you stop by later, I’ll take a break and we can talk about whatever you want.”

“So you want me to come over to your house?”

“Well, I could come over to yours, but again, your dad has this thing where he likes to threaten me. I want to believe he’s joking, but I don’t know. There’s not actually too much of a twinkle in his eye when he says he’s going to get his rifle.”

“In all of your years coming to my house, have you ever actually seen my dad’s gun?” she giggled.

“No! I haven’t! You mean he’s been lying to me this entire time?”

“No, it’s just in the gun cabinet in the basement,” she laughed hysterically.

He laughed right along with her. “Jen! I’m surprised at you. Trying to get me killed. How am I supposed to help old ladies cross the street and rescue kittens out of trees with a gunshot wound? But it’s good to hear you laugh, smile. I’m going to get to work. Come by later and we’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Jenna hung up the phone, letting herself fall back onto her bed. It was the first time in days she’d been in a good mood. Even Paul took notice as he walked by her bedroom.

“Is that a cheery disposition?” He peeked in on her room, looking around as if he was going to catch someone sneaking in, or out.

“It is, Daddy,” she smiled.

“It’s Tanner, isn’t it?” he questioned with the side of his mouth curled up in distaste. “Only a boy could be responsible for a smile like that.”

“Relax, Daddy, he’s not derailing my future, just checking on me to make sure I’m okay.”

“Yeah, Mrs. Owens next door said you were having a fit outside on the lawn and that he had to carry you in here. Is that what you were trying to tell me? Is that what this funk has been about these last few days?”

“Yeah, I guess the simplest way to say it is that I missed Mom and everything seemed to be collapsing. I didn’t have to say anything to Tanner. He knows me, us, it’s familiar. He doesn’t wish everything away like other people. He lets me cry it out and doesn’t try to make me feel better in a matter of minutes. He just gets it, Daddy.”

Paul huffed. “As much as I dislike the kid, I’m glad you have a friend, friends, who just get it. Make sure you call Hannah, too. She’s been stopping by to check on you.”

“Aww, Daddy, you should know better by now. You can always send Hannah straight up to me.”

“Well, I didn’t know what was wrong or if you were contagious or what! But good to know it was all in your head. Okay, I’m off to the bar. The guys should be finished putting in the new floors and staining them. Said they’d be dry by today.”

“Dad? The money—” She stopped herself. “Never mind. Have a good day today.”

Paul walked into the room and kissed her gently on the top of her head. “Thanks, sweetie. You have a good day too.”

Jenna smiled, knowing that her father was always going to be there for her. She called Hannah to give her an update. Hannah, as always, promised to be there if she needed her, and she threw in an offer to bring over some condoms in case Jenna decided to have sex with Tanner later that night.

Being that intimate with Tanner hadn’t crossed her mind until Hannah brought it up, but the more she reflected on times gone by, the less it seemed like a big deal. They should just do it and get it out of the way. Maybe they could go back to being friends once that sexual tension was released. It would be like popping the cork off a bottle of champagne… pressure gone.

By the time Jenna pulled herself out of bed to shower and get ready to see Tanner, it was later than she’d planned. A part of her hoped he wasn’t seriously waiting for her to get there before he took a break from studying. She grabbed some coffee for him, along with some of his favorite snacks, and headed over to his place.

His apartment was on top of an antique shop that always seemed to be closed. Tanner’s door was around the corner, on the side of the building. She made her way toward it—and got an unwelcome surprise.

It was Brandy, holding a large box in her arms. The soft blonde hair of Tanner’s ex-girlfriend sat atop her head in a perfect messy bun. She wore sweatpants and a simple pink tank top that accentuated her rosy cheeks and pouty lips. As much as Jenna hated to see Brandy standing there, she couldn’t deny her beauty. It was her personality that sucked.

“What are you doing here, Emma?” Brandy rolled her eyes.

“Not about to get into anything with you. And it’s Jenna, but you know that already,” she replied, readying herself to brush by her.

Brandy stepped directly in front of her. “Do you think it even matters? Why do I need to know your name? You’re nobody.”

“I’m a nobody with a name that your ex-boyfriend knows.”

“You’re a nobody who’s going to get her heart broken. Don’t believe him when he says he’s done with me.” She narrowed her gaze. “That’s what he always says before he comes begging for me to take him back.”

“Maybe to beg you to take him to bed. But the difference is I’m not trying to date Tanner. Despite what you, or anybody else, believes, we really are just friends. So get out of my way, before I move you out of it,” Jenna demanded forcefully.

Brandy stepped aside, but she couldn’t let Jenna have the last word. “You know he proposed to me, right? Twice! You can shout it to the rooftops that you two are just friends, but I know better. I know how much you’re into him, and moving in on my would-have-been fiancé is low. You’re just delaying the inevitable.”

“Your ‘would-have-been fiancé’ seems to be under the impression that you don’t actually care about him, and he really doesn’t appreciate hearing from the guys you bang on the side. And you’re trying to call me out for a low blow? At least if I did anything I shouldn’t have I did it to you. You did it to the man you’re claiming wanted to marry you. What kind of a woman does that make you?” Jenna walked away before she said anything else that might either prolong the conversation or start an all-out catfight.

Her stomach sank with every step she took towards Tanner’s apartment. She was growing angrier by the minute, and it didn’t help when she knocked on the door and Tanner opened it expecting his ex.

“Hey, Bran—”

“Yeah, not her,” Jenna snapped, shoving past him. “What the hell was she doing here, Tanner? And you were going to marry her?!?”

“Well, good evening,” he joked, “it’s nice to see you, Tanner. How’s studying going? Not so good? Why not? Well, it could be that my crazy ex-girlfriend just left after throwing the temper tantrum of all temper tantrums. She came to get her stuff out of here and wouldn’t leave until I let her, and her ex-Marine big brother, who’s also a member of the Philadelphia PD, come through here to take everything she wanted! Some of which was mine!”

“Sorry, but you should have known better.” She shoved her bag of snacks into his chest and placed his coffee on the table. “It’s been weeks since you guys broke up, and I told you before, but apparently I have to tell you again, that she’s not going to leave you alone if you keep putting up with her antics! She’s going to keep bullying her pretty little head into your life, which transfers to me somehow. She thinks I’m moving in on you, even though technically I would just be your rebound. You’re not the vulnerable one here, I am!”

Tanner was ignoring most of what Jenna was saying as he peered into the bag of snacks she’d brought. There were a bunch of the chocolate snack cakes she remembered he used to love, some chips, and a few different candy bars. All he did was smile. “You brought all of this for me?”

“Well, yeah,” she said, calming down. “You said you were studying, and after four years in college I know how that is! You need good snacks. It keeps you going.”

“Come here,” he motioned to her with his finger. As Jenna stepped closer, that finger slid under her chin, lifting her face up to his where he planted a kiss on her. It was slow and deliberate. Craning his neck down toward her, Tanner wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her body closer to him, angling her mouth for an even deeper kiss.

Jenna closed her eyes, letting herself get lost in their embrace. Her heart pounded against her chest as the thickness of his hands slid from around her waist to the front of her pants. She could feel him undoing the button before he slid his hand down into her panties. With a firm, insistent touch he rubbed the center between her thighs, causing her to moan as their mouths continued to lap over one another.

The tingling sensation traveled all over her body as he slipped her jeans down to the floor. He moved her back until she was forced to sit on top of his table. Spreading her legs, Tanner buried his face between her thighs, suckling, licking, and lapping at her center like a thirsty man in the desert. As he continued to kiss her softest place, he turned up the heat by sliding two fingers inside of her while his other hand moved up under her bra. Jenna sat back, trying her best not to squeeze his face, but the orgasms radiated through her body.

Every lick, every flick of his tongue touched a spot she hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. When Tanner finally came up for air, his face glistened with her juices. He wiped them away, then reached down to slather them onto his own member. She hadn’t realized he’d even dropped his pants, but there was no stopping things now. There weren’t any fire trucks loaded with firefighters coming to interrupt them. Her father and best friend weren’t in the next room on the other side of an unlocked door. There was just Jenna and Tanner in his living room, ready to do what they’d both been yearning for since the night they kissed.

Feeling him inside of her was different than Jenna expected. She gasped at the sheer girth of his manhood. Clenching around him, she couldn’t believe they’d been arguing mere moments ago and now she was having sex with the man she used to call the love of her life, on a dining room table in his apartment. It made her blush and hold onto him tighter, but the words ‘just have fun with him’ began to echo in her mind.

Everyone who had an opinion on her and Tanner was adamant about one thing: She was going to end up heartbroken. However, as he stroked slowly in and out of her, she couldn’t imagine anything other than them doing this forever.

Tanner pushed away for a moment to look into her eyes. He was so intense when they were together. The intensity only increased as he planted his palms beside her to move into her deeper, faster, with more vigor. Jenna cried out in pain and pleasure. It had been far too long since she’d been intimate with anyone.

Tanner grabbed at something behind her and clicked a few buttons. Music came on. It wasn’t anything she could recall, but the sounds of the drums, the guitar, it was all a part of the melody of them moving together. The song changed pace as some rock-’n’-roll instrumental played, and a mischievous smirk spread across his face.

“Hold on tight,” he winked.

Without another word, Tanner scooped Jenna off the table, holding her thighs in the crux of his arms to slide into her standing up. It was a position she’d never tried, but she didn’t have to do much except keep her arms around his neck.

“Kiss me,” he commanded.

Jenna was wildly submissive as she did what she was told, angling her neck down to kiss Tanner while he sexed her in the air. He guided her hips by cradling her rear in one hand and holding onto her back with the other. Everything was so fluid between them as they made love, starting next to the table and soon moving to the wall itself. She was able to drop one leg as he turned her around to move in from the back. The tender touch of his lips on her neck while his hand fondled her down below sent shivers down her spine. Goose bumps covered her body as she orgasmed again and again.

Just when she thought he was done, Tanner surprised her. Pulling out, he kissed her delicately on the lips. Running his hands through her hair, he led her into his bedroom. It was simple enough, with beige walls, a dresser, bed and closet. His work clothes hung on a rack in the corner, but she didn’t have time to get a full view of his room as Tanner picked up from where they’d left off in the living room.

Jenna was full of giggles as he pushed her back onto the bed. Crawling after her, he smiled as she tried to scurry up toward the headboard. Grabbing her by the feet, he slid her down so she was underneath him.

“You’re so amazing. I should have never let you go,” he whispered to her as he slid into her once again. This time was less impulsive. The motions between them were more about connecting and less about easing the sexual tension. They stayed in that position, kissing and moving slowly into each other, until they’d finished.

There wasn’t some spectacular ending where Jenna saw fireworks. It was simple and quiet, as if they’d exhausted themselves getting to that moment from years ago.

“That was definitely different from the first time,” Jenna laughed.

“Better, I hope,” Tanner smirked as he lay down next to her. He pulled her in close to him, kissing her forehead as she lay on his chest listening to his pulse slow.

“What are we doing here, Tanner?” she asked into the air.

“We’re doing what feels right,” he told her. “Didn’t that feel right to you?”

“Yeah, it felt amazing. A bit unexpected, but still amazing. I mean, how often does someone get a thank you like that for bringing Ring Dings and coffee?”

They both laughed and talked into the wee hours of the night. Eventually she got around to why she’d come over in the first place, and extended a personal invitation to her birthday party. She ran a few ideas by him, but all in all, Jenna knew she’d be waiting for Hannah before making her final decision.

It was almost two in the morning when they finally got out of the bed. Jenna retrieved her clothes and started to get herself dressed.

“Wait a minute.” Tanner grabbed her shirt before she could put it on. “You’re not running off on me again, are you? If I call you tomorrow—well, later today—you’re not going to send me to voicemail, right?”

“I won’t, but Tanner, we just agreed that we were going to have fun. It doesn’t make sense us getting caught up in each other if I’m going to leave for grad school next month.”

“I understand that, but you do realize that people go to school and have relationships simultaneously, right? I’m not telling you we should get married next week or anything, but I will say I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t plan to be, and honestly I don’t want to be.”

“This is still too soon. Too close to breaking up with Brandy. I have to be sure, and I’m just not there right now, Tanner. You get that, right? You get that she just left here fifteen minutes before we made love all over this apartment? I want to believe it was mostly genuine, but a part of me feels like we did it to erase her out of here.” She stared around at his furniture. Nothing would look the same ever again.

“So what!” he said. “So what if we erased her from the table, the wall, the couch, the floor, the bedroom, the kitchen counter top! So what! You’re not some new fling, Jenna. We can move how we do because of how comfortable we are together. Don’t use Brandy as an excuse not to let us get close again. There are so many ways we can make whatever this thing is between us work. We don’t have to be bound by these imaginary rules of yours.”

“It’s not imaginary! Brandy shows up when we’re out. She shows up when I come here! She continuously pops up, and that’s where my rules come in. I will get hurt in this if you don’t set some boundaries. I’m not going to be like her and say you can’t be friends while we’re figuring out this thing between us. But if all we can be is friends, then let’s do that. I don’t want to fall in love with you all over again just for it to vanish because she comes around, and keeps coming!”

Tanner walked up to her, grasped both sides of her face with his hands, and kissed her. “Stop using Brandy as an excuse. I told you I’m done. But I know that’s hard to accept when she keeps popping up, so I’m going to show you that we’re completely done with each other. I don’t even think we will be friends.”

“Okay, if you say so,” she sighed. Jenna wanted desperately to believe him when he said they were over, but she had seen Brandy in action. She knew how easy it would be for Tanner to cave in and take care of her for whatever reason. He had a history with Brandy just as much as he had a history with her. There was no way that someone who had been ready to propose would just let a person go out of his life for good. Jenna refused to believe that. Besides, if it was that easy for Tanner, then what would happen to her? What would happen when she left for grad school and things got tough?

There were far too many decisions for her to make, and she couldn’t make them in Tanner’s apartment. They’d be up all night while he tried to convince her to take their relationship more seriously, and she wasn’t ready for that discussion. So she left. She didn’t care how late it was. She didn’t care what her father would say. She simply went home, hoping that by morning she’d have all the answers she was looking for.