Chapter Fifteen
Alyssa had a lot of reasons for moving to Haven, one of which was to escape the constant comparisons to her sister. By the time Cristina was twenty-six, she’d been married for four years and had a two-year-old child. Alyssa had simpler dreams, at least in the short-term—and she needed some time to figure out what she wanted for her own life before she could share it with someone else.
And yet, celebrating her parents’ thirty-fifth anniversary, watching them interact together and listening to their stories, she could see the benefits of having a partner to share the good times and the bad. Someone to laugh with and lean on, to plan with and care for. Growing up, she’d taken so much for granted. She hadn’t appreciated the special closeness her family shared until she’d moved away. And while she wasn’t necessarily in any hurry to walk down the aisle, she knew now that she did want what her parents had and what Cristina had found with Steven.
“Everything okay, honey bear?” Jason asked, returning from the bar with a glass of wine for Alyssa.
“Aside from you calling me ‘honey bear,’ yeah,” she said and offered him a smile in exchange for the wine. “I was just counting my blessings.”
“You are a lucky woman,” he agreed. “You have a wonderful family, good friends and a handsome and adoring fiancé whose mother made him take dance lessons as a kid.”
“Really?”
He offered his hand. “Shall I prove it to you?”
She set her glass of wine on the table. “Show me what you’ve got.”
* * *
Though his brain had cautioned him to avoid close physical contact, Jay knew there was no way to maintain the illusion of their relationship without a few turns around the dance floor. And after sleeping in the same bed for the past five nights, he didn’t think a dance was anything he couldn’t handle.
But the music was soft and seductive, and she fit perfectly in his arms, almost as if she was meant to be there. Dancing with Alyssa, he felt as if everything he’d ever wanted was literally within his grasp.
He immediately chided himself for the ridiculous notion, but the idea continued to nudge not just at his mind but his heart.
“Who’s that in the flowered dress?” he asked, turning Alyssa around so she could see the woman in question.
“That would be Lucia.”
“Diego’s aunt,” he said, connecting the dots. “Now I know why she’s been shooting daggers at me with her eyes.”
“Didn’t you meet her at the potluck?”
“I missed that pleasure,” he said drily.
“Well, she was extremely disappointed—my mother’s words—to learn that I was planning to marry someone other than her favorite nephew.”
“So maybe you are glad that I’m here,” he suggested.
She tipped her head back to smile at him. “There’s no maybe about it. I am glad you’re here.”
“Then let’s make sure Lucia knows it,” he said and lowered his mouth to hers.
Of course, the moment their lips touched, he forgot about Lucia and Diego and the hundred-plus other guests. In that moment, there was only Alyssa, and he’d never wanted anyone more.
Maybe their relationship had started as “plan B,” but over the past few weeks, everything had changed. He had changed. And the feelings that filled his heart when he was with her were deeper than anything he’d ever felt before.
Their reasons for agreeing to this charade were in the past. Now he was focused on the present—and looking to his future with Alyssa.
* * *
They were up early the next morning to head back to her parents’ house for an early breakfast before they started the return trip to Nevada. Alyssa had enjoyed visiting with her family and she knew she’d miss them like crazy when she was gone, but she was also looking forward to returning to Haven and the life she’d built for herself there. Over the past week, Jason had played the part of the doting fiancé almost too well, convincing Renata and Miguel that he was in love with their youngest daughter and looking forward to planning a life with her. While she appreciated his efforts, that was an illusion she needed to dispel before she started to believe it.
When breakfast was over, Alyssa steered her mother away from the gathering for a private word.
“I need to tell you something before I go,” she began.
Renata’s brow furrowed, a familiar sign of concern. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Alyssa felt her cheeks burn as she shook her head. “No, I’m not pregnant. I’m also not engaged to Jason.”
Her mother’s eyes grew wide. “You turned down his proposal?”
“No, Mama. He never really asked me to marry him.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We’ve only been dating a few months,” she said, because although she couldn’t continue the deception of the engagement, she wasn’t ready to admit that their whole relationship had been a lie from the beginning. “And although we enjoy one another’s company, it’s far too soon to be thinking of a lifetime together.”
“Then why did he tell Diego that you’d agreed to marry him?” Renata wondered aloud.
“Because Diego didn’t seem to care that I had a boyfriend and Jason hoped he’d back off if he believed our relationship was more serious than it is,” she explained.
“Diego has been rather...persistent,” her mother admitted. “And perhaps that’s my fault. I did encourage him to pursue you—and to not give up. But all that was before we met Jason. Before we knew you were in love.”
“I don’t blame you, Mama,” Alyssa said. “But there’s also no reason to tell Diego—or Lucia—that the engagement isn’t real.”
“And maybe it will be...someday.”
“Maybe,” she agreed, unwilling to completely destroy her mother’s hopes. “But that potential someday is far off.”
“Maybe not as far as you think,” Renata said. “In the meantime, it’s comforting to know that you have such a fine young man looking after you in Haven.”
“I can look after myself, Mama.”
“Well, of course you can.” Her mother’s immediate agreement was a surprise. “But there’s nothing wrong with letting someone take care of you every once in a while, as I’m sure you take care of him, too.”
Alyssa hadn’t thought too much about the give and take in a romantic relationship, because she’d never really been in one before. Of course, she wasn’t in one now, either, but being a counterfeit couple had given her a taste of the kind of sharing that came with being in a real relationship. She enjoyed listening to Jason talk about his stresses and worries and hearing funny stories about things that happened during his day. And she realized that being taken care of by a man didn’t need to be a negative thing, so long as she was taking care of him, too.
Of course, that man wouldn’t ever be Jason Channing, because he’d been clear from the beginning that their bogus romance would never lead to anything real.
* * *
Returning to Haven, where he had a king-size mattress to himself, Jay thought he would finally be able to sleep. But when he crawled beneath the covers that first night back, his bed felt big and empty without Alyssa. He missed the scent of her skin, the warmth of her body and just knowing that she was beside him.
And when he finally did sleep, he dreamed about her.
He skipped his run the next morning. Though he’d been anxious to get home and back to what was familiar, he needed some distance from Alyssa, space to clear his head of the ridiculous thoughts that had taken root when they were together in California and purge his heart of the unwelcome feelings that had started to root within. Except that not being with her didn’t stop him from thinking about her. Missing her. Wanting her.
He wasn’t used to a woman featuring so prominently in his thoughts. As a result, he was distracted and short-tempered at work, like an addict going cold turkey in a desperate attempt to break his habit. And it didn’t work. Despite his concerted efforts not to think about her, he couldn’t think about anything else.
He went running that night, determined to establish a new routine for himself—a routine that didn’t include Alyssa. But damn, he missed her presence beside him.
He didn’t run Tuesday morning, either, because he’d done ten miles the night before. Then he skipped Wednesday, too—opting to go into work early and stay late. And all day, she was on his mind.
When he got home, he surveyed the meager contents of his fridge in search of something to eat. He was trying to determine the age of some frozen leftover pizza when there was a knock on the door.
His heart knocked against his ribs, anticipating who might be on the other side. And again when he opened the door and found Alyssa standing there.
“I should have called,” she said. “But I thought it might be better to have this conversation face-to-face.”
“That sounds ominous,” he noted.
She shook her head. “It’s not. I just wanted to let you know that it’s okay if you’ve changed your mind about me being your date on the fourteenth, because I can pick up an extra shift at—”
“Whoa!” He held up a hand. “Are you trying to renege on our deal?”
“No,” she denied. “I’m letting you off the hook.”
He pulled the door open wider and gestured for her to enter. “Maybe you should come inside for this conversation.”
She hesitated, no doubt wondering why he was suddenly so eager for her company, but finally accepted his invitation.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” he offered.
“Okay,” she said. “That would be nice.”
He didn’t think about the fact that he’d started to stock her favorite brand—he just uncorked one of the bottles and poured a glass for her, then another for himself.
“Now tell me why you think I want to be let off a hook I didn’t even know I was on,” he suggested when he’d taken a seat beside her at the island.
“Because you’ve been avoiding me since we got back from California.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you,” he denied.
She shook her head. “We’ve told a lot of lies to other people,” she acknowledged. “But I thought we were at least honest with one another.”
“I’ve had a lot of work to catch up on, so I’ve been heading in early,” he told her.
“I guess that’s what happens when you take a week away during your busiest season,” she remarked.
“It was my choice to go,” he reminded her.
“And now you regret it.”
Maybe he did, but not for reasons that had anything to do with his business. “No,” he said. “I had a great time with you.”
And he’d gotten so used to being with her 24/7, he’d started to feel as if something was missing when he wasn’t with her. That was why he’d deliberately attempted to put some distance between them—to prove that he could. To prove to himself that he wasn’t falling for her.
So far, he remained unconvinced. And the way his heart bounced around inside his chest whenever he saw her suggested something completely different.
“But now you’re trying to put as much distance as possible between us,” she accused. “Because the pretend dating thing started to feel a little too real.”
“Maybe it did start to feel real,” he acknowledged. “Or maybe it got real.”
Her brows drew together as she considered that. “I don’t want to lose your friendship, Jason.”
“You’re not going to.”
“Okay,” she said. “But if you’ve changed your mind about your friend’s wedding—”
“I haven’t changed my mind.” And even if he had, his agreement with Kevin prevented him from amending their plans. “I’ll pick you up at three o’clock on Saturday.”
She finished her wine and set down the empty glass. “I’ll be ready.”
“One more thing,” he said as she pushed away from the counter.
“What’s that?”
“Wear something red.”
She seemed surprised by the request. “There’s a color scheme for the wedding guests?”
“No,” he said. “You just look really good in red.”
And he was clearly an infatuated fool, because after promising himself that he would put some distance between them, his resolve had crumbled in less than three days. And he was already counting the hours until Saturday, when he would see her again.
* * *
Alyssa was accustomed to dressing in subtle colors and modest styles; she didn’t own a red dress and had no intention of buying one.
Until she remembered the way Jason had looked at her when she’d been wearing the scarlet-colored sheath borrowed from her sister’s closet. She wanted him to look at her like that again.
She wanted him to want her as much as she wanted him.
They’d agreed that their fake relationship would end after the wedding, but Alyssa hadn’t given up hope that she might experience real passion with Jason. But first she had to convince him to break through the boundaries he’d established for their relationship, and she didn’t have the first clue how to do that.
Thankfully, she did know someone who was something of an expert on human behavior. So she invited Skylar to go shopping with her to find something appropriate for the wedding, and because she hoped her friend might be able to give her some much-needed advice on how to seduce a man who’d made it clear he would not be seduced.
“When’s the wedding?” Sky asked as she looked through a rack of dresses at the upscale boutique in Battle Mountain that she’d declared was the only place to shop within driving distance of Haven.
“Saturday,” Alyssa confided.
“Matt Hutchinson and Carrie Morgan’s wedding?”
“You know them?”
Her friend nodded. “I went to school with Carrie’s sister, Courtney. And Liam actually dated Carrie a few years back. In fact, you’ll probably see him at the wedding.”
“Is he taking a date?” Alyssa asked.
“Heather,” Sky admitted with a roll of her eyes.
“They’re back on again?”
“He says no, but going to a wedding together says something else,” her friend noted.
“Why is the event significant?” Alyssa wondered.
“Because weddings tend to make people reflect on their own lives—where they are and what they want. And when they realize they haven’t accomplished everything they’d hoped to, they turn to alcohol and sex to feel better about themselves.”
“Is this something you’ve researched?” Alyssa asked.
“Not specifically,” Sky said. “But I’ve been to a lot of weddings.”
She considered her friend’s revelation. “Are you suggesting that guys who’ve reached their goals are less interested in post-wedding sex?”
“Oh, no. They want to get laid, too,” Sky assured her. “But their rationale is that they’ve earned it.”
Alyssa laughed at that.
But a long time later, after they’d finished shopping, she ventured to ask, “What do you think it means when a guy doesn’t want to have sex?”
“Is there such a creature?”
“Apparently.”
Her friend’s gaze narrowed thoughtfully. “Are you telling me that you and Jason haven’t done the deed?”
Alyssa almost wished she hadn’t said anything, but there wasn’t anyone else she could talk to about the subject, so she nodded in response to the question.
“I’m sure I’m not telling tales out of school by saying that your boyfriend has a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man, so to discover that he hasn’t taken you to bed is more than a little surprising.”
“But we’re only fake dating,” she reminded her friend.
“And how long has this been going on?”
“Well, if anyone asks, the story is six months. But we’ve only been real fake dating for three, because that started on what was supposedly our three-month anniversary.”
Sky shook her head. “Real fake dating? Are you hearing yourself?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” she acknowledged.
“Admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery,” Sky said. “But I’m curious...during this period of fake dating, have you been fake holding hands and fake kissing, too?”
“Yes, because those public displays are a necessary part of the illusion.”
“So he’s never touched you behind closed doors? Never kissed you good-night when no one was watching?”
“Occasionally,” she admitted.
“But he hasn’t tried to get you naked?” Sky pressed.
Alyssa shook her head. “I’ve been waiting—and hoping—for him to make a move, but...nothing.”
“So make the move yourself,” her friend advised.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Men really aren’t complicated creatures.”
“Maybe he hasn’t made a move because he’s not attracted to me,” Alyssa suggested.
Her friend immediately shook her head. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you—he’s definitely attracted.”
She crossed her fingers that Sky was right. Because if she didn’t succeed in making a move Saturday night—or inspiring Jason to make a move—her window of opportunity would be closed forever.
“Well, now that I’ve got the dress, shoes and earrings, can we finally go for lunch?”
“Just one more quick stop,” Sky said.
“It better be quick—I’m starving.”
Her friend paused outside The Grill. “You go in and get a table. I’ll be back in five.”
So Alyssa did.
Five minutes later, her friend came into the restaurant and dropped a paper bag in her lap.
“What’s this?” Alyssa asked.
“What all the cool kids are wearing,” Sky told her.
She put down her menu and peeked in the bag. Apparently the cool kids were wearing America’s #1 Condom. “I wish I had half your faith that I’m going to need these.”
“Honey, I’ve seen you in that dress. You don’t need faith—but you need to be smart. Of course, some might argue that wanting to get naked with Jason Channing isn’t smart,” she said, because apparently a Gilmore couldn’t resist taking a dig at a Blake any more than a Blake could at a Gilmore. “But since you’ve set your sights in his direction, you should be prepared.”
* * *
When Alyssa responded to Jay’s knock on her door, the first thing he noticed was that she’d complied with his request. The second was that his efforts to put distance between them had done nothing to lessen his attraction to her. Because all it took was one look—that first look—and the desire he’d been trying to deny surged through his veins.
The neckline of the dress was high enough to ensure that her scars weren’t visible, but the back dipped low, revealing lots of smooth, bare skin. She’d left her hair down so that the curls tumbled over her shoulders, tempting him to slide his fingers into the soft tresses, tip her head back and cover that glossy mouth with his own.
He curled his fingers into his palms to resist the urge to reach for her. Over the past few weeks, he’d had a lot of practice keeping a tight rein on his growing desire. Sure, they’d shared kisses—necessary to convince others that they were a couple, and maybe a few that weren’t necessary or part of any illusion—but he’d been careful to ensure those kisses never went too far.
But he’d done what Kevin had challenged him to do—he’d maintained a relationship with one woman for more than two months. And if this was truly his last date with Alyssa, he was going to make the most of it.
He pulled her into his arms.
“Um...hello,” she said when he finally eased his lips from hers.
He smiled. “Hi.” Then stepped back to look at her again. “And thank you.”
She smiled back, a little tentatively. “I didn’t own anything red, so I went shopping. Sky helped me pick this out.”
“I guess even Gilmores get something right once in a while,” he said.
She huffed out a breath. “For a few hours tonight, can you please try to forget about the feud between the Blakes and the Gilmores?”
“Why?”
“Because Liam’s going to be at the wedding.”
“I thought he might be,” Jay admitted. “Though why anyone would want to watch an ex marry someone else is beyond me.”
“Liam and Carrie dated a long time ago and have remained good friends.”
“I don’t get that, either,” he said.
“You’ve never stayed friends with a girl you’ve dated?”
He thought about the question, shook his head. “Not friendly enough to want her at my wedding.”
Alyssa looked taken aback by his comment.
“Is that really so surprising?” he asked.
“What surprised me was to hear the words my wedding come out of your mouth without your face draining of all color.”
“Ha ha,” he said.
“I wasn’t joking,” she told him.
Considering his reputation—and nickname—her response was understandable.
But Jason wasn’t that man anymore.
And tonight he was going to focus his efforts on charming the only woman he wanted.