Chapter Ten
Well hell, this was going to be awkward. Shooting a death glare at the car sitting next to Pam’s in his driveway, Logan wondered if some kind of invitation had gone out for everyone in the state to drop by his house.
Becky headed up the porch steps. “That car wasn’t here when we left.”
Taking in the sight of her butt in those jeans, he tried to focus. “No.”
She glanced back at him, her eyes curious. “Do you recognize it?”
“Yep.” He took her hand. “Kendra Edwards. She’s a friend of the family and runs the Heart of Texas e-zine. She often does features on the ranch.”
“Friend of the family, or a personal friend?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Both.” She didn’t need to know the details.
“Ah, that kind of friend. Okay.” She reached for the door.
Logan tugged her back. “Our fathers are long-time friends. Kendra’s always been around. We just fell into bed a couple times. Now it’s over, it was nothing.” Right there in front of his eyes, the light in her gaze died and the bounce in her step deflated.
“Nothing. Got it.” She slipped through the door before he could stop her.
He was an ass. Telling her it was nothing made her think what they’d had today was nothing. Wrong—it’d been something so special, he didn’t have a name for it. Becky wasn’t a woman he could have sex with and forget about.
Frustrated, he went in.
“Logan, there you are.” Kendra sashayed up to him in skin-tight white pants. “So nice to see you again.”
“Hello, Kendra.” Going to Becky, he settled his arm around her shoulders, trying to ease her discomfort. “This is my wife, Becky.”
“Becky, lovely to meet you.” Kendra turned her gaze on Logan. “Your father wants a spread in the e-zine of you all with the horses to showcase both the ranch and the Knights. And I’ll be covering the barbeque celebrating your marriage.” She strolled up and smiled at Becky. “It’s my job to introduce you to Texas society and help you make a good impression.”
“Why?”
Kendra arched an eyebrow. “The Knight Ranch is the premier horse ranch in all of Texas.”
Becky glanced up at him. “You have cattle, too.”
Pleased the she remembered what he’d told her, Logan answered, “Yep, but our reputation is centered around our Quarter horses. We breed the best and we have a superior training program for the animals. Rodeo competitors come from all over to buy our stock.”
“Exactly, and the Knights need to stay in the public eye,” Kendra added. “It’s part of the business to keep visible in society. As a Knight now, you need to represent the family and ranch.”
Logan tugged Becky closer to his side. “You’re laying it on a little thick. It’s not like we’re royalty.”
Kendra smiled. “Almost, but we’ll bring Becky in as a Cinderella story. The poor girl meets her Knight.”
“Oh barf,” Pam said.
“No. We’re not going to make Becky look like a charity case. Let’s go with the truth. Becky and I met through Lucinda. We became friends then married.”
“Why so fast at a courthouse with no one there?”
Logan honed in on the kid lying on Becky’s shoulder. The baby lifted her head and stared at him. Her eyes dominated her round little face, shimmering with lively curiosity. She reached out her fist, smacking him in the chest. “For Sophie. We wanted to create a stable home for her.”
Becky smiled at him, and for a few seconds, he felt like a prince.
“Okay, that could work. I have an idea. Becky, can you ride?”
“A little bit, but not like I imagine Logan and his family does.”
She could? He whipped his head around. Hell, he’d never asked her if she could ride. Did she want to? Come to think of it, she’d been excited to see his horses, which he still hadn’t shown her since he’d been too busy getting her naked.
She went on as if he wasn’t staring at her. “I won some lessons. Enough to stay in a saddle for a little bit.”
Kendra beamed. “We’ll do a spread of you guys riding, with Logan holding Sophie. It’ll be perfect. Readers will see Logan showing his stepdaughter her world now that her mother married a Knight.”
Hold the baby? White noise filled his head, memories pushed and shoved. Logan stilled, concentrating on breathing, forcing air in and out of his tight lungs.
I’m in my house, on my land. Not in Afghanistan racing against time to find the underground girl’s school before the faction of the Taliban did.
The pressure in his skull ratcheted up and up. A hand slipped beneath his shirt and curved around his side.
Becky pressed into his ribs. “Can you do it?”
Her touch and voice shoved back the flashback. He honed in on her like an anchor. Her soft eyes shimmered with concern for him. He needed to do this. “We’ll try it.”
Sophie began to fuss and squirm in her arms. “She’s hungry. I have to feed her.”
He latched onto that as an excuse. “We’ll firm up the details later.” He showed Kendra and Pam out, then dropped into the chair. Becky fed the baby on the couch, the contented sounds of the baby eating filling the room. Sophie got a fist full of Becky’s hair and studied her mom’s face. Becky angled her head down, her brown eyes glowing with love as she wrapped her hand around her child’s.
Earlier today, she’d been his lover, so fiercely hot he’d lost himself in her. And now she was a mom, so tender with her love for Sophie, she made him ache. The sight of them chased out ugliness and horror in his brain.
Becky met his gaze. “Are you going to be able to do this?”
“Hold Sophie?” He couldn’t fail them. “I have to.” It’d look strange if he constantly avoided the baby. Another thought occurred to him: this was Becky’s child they were talking about, the baby she loved more than anything in the world. “I won’t drop her or let her get hurt.”
She shook her head. “I’m not worried about that. Pam assured me Sophie is safe with you on a horse. I’ll be there too, and believe me, I’ll stop something if I think it’s unsafe for Sophie. But I’m talking about you. If you can’t do it, just let me know. I’ll make a scene, do the mom freak out, claiming it scares me too much to have her on a horse. That way you’re not put on the spot.”
“You’d do that?” Didn’t she consider him weak to be afraid of a baby?
Once she shifted Sophie to her shoulder, she patted her back. “I don’t want you to do this then end up spending the night on the front porch unable to come in the house.”
Was she protecting him? That was insane. He was supposed to protect her and her child. “I’ll handle it.” He stood up. “I’ll start some dinner then I have work to do.”
“Okay, but Logan?”
He paused, once more captivated as she settled Sophie to her other breast. “Yeah?”
She tilted her head back to fix her gaze on him. “While I’m here, you don’t have to handle it alone.”
…
Becky was nearly as nervous as when she used to go onstage in pageants. It was just a photo shoot. She’d done a ton of them. But the truth was she didn’t want to look bad for Logan. She might be his temporary wife, but she wanted him to be proud of her.
Oh girl, you’re in so much trouble!
Okay, not love…but she liked him, as well as his stepmom and Pam. Glancing at Kendra with her sassy dark red hair falling to her chin, waist-length fitted jacket paired with jeans and boots Becky would have to win the lottery to own, she wished she had on something a little nicer.
Oh enough. Her scalloped ivory top, jeans, and scuffed cowboy boots would have to do. At least she’d spent quality time with her curling iron and makeup. Besides, Sophie looked adorable in her pink hair ribbon, matching shirt, and little jeans. She focused on that as they crossed the grass of the pasture.
When they got closer to the two saddled horses waiting for them, Sophie let out a squeal. Becky had her facing out on her hip, and the baby shrieked in excitement, her arms and legs bouncing.
“Someone’s eager.” Logan settled his heavy arm across Becky’s shoulder.
“I wondered if she’d be afraid.”
“Sugar, she’s not scared. She’s trying to get to the horses.” He waved to Kendra and headed to where Pam held the big animals. “This gray is Gemma, she’s a gentle girl.”
Becky had to hold Sophie’s arms to keep her from batting the horse.
“Here.” Pam took the baby’s hand and helped her pet the horse’s head.
Gemma blew a little air out her nostrils, and looked at Sophie.
Her baby giggled and squirmed, her whole body radiating joy as she tried to pet her again. For a second, Becky was thrust back in time, watching her older brother so excited at the rodeo. “Tyler loved horses. Didn’t have an ounce of fear, while I was scared.”
Warm arms came around her. “Looks like Sophie’s got some of her uncle in her.”
That made her smile. To have a little piece of her brother in her baby was like a precious gift. “Good. Tyler was braver than me.” She didn’t want her daughter to be afraid; she wanted her safe and loved.
Logan tightened his arms. “You’re braver than you think. You had a baby on your own.”
She looked up into his eyes. “That wasn’t bravery, that was love. As soon as I realized I was pregnant, she was mine.”
His gaze darkened, while his hand spread on her belly. Everything around them blurred, and all she saw was this man consuming her with his gaze. Then his sister’s voice broke the odd spell.
“I can’t wait until she’s old enough to learn to ride.” Pam grinned at them. “I’ll teach her to barrel race. She can be a star like her Aunt Pam.”
For a few blissful seconds, it was like she and Sophie had a family, surrounded by people who cared.
“We need to get started.” Kendra moved up next to them. The lighting is perfect.”
Logan tensed behind her.
“I’ll hold Sophie, while you get settled.” Pam took the baby.
Becky’s palms grew damp. Both horses were saddled and ready. “Am I riding Gemma?” She stroked the horse’s nose, then rubbed her neck.
Logan put his hand on her lower back. “Yep. I’ll be on Remy.” He checked the saddle, the pad, the straps, everything from what Becky could tell. “All set, come here Bec.” He held out his hand.
She took it and before she knew it, he had her in the saddle. “Keep your line straight along shoulders, hips, and heels.” Quickly Logan corrected her position and gave her the reigns. “Okay?”
“It’s coming back to me.” All two months’ worth of lessons from four or five years ago, and then a couple times at riding stables.
He rested his hand on her calf. “You’re doing fine. Your seat and legs give her the most directions. Stay calm and she’ll be calm. It usually takes a lot to spook Gemma.”
“Got it.” She wasn’t going to screw this up.
“Pam, can you hang onto Sophie for a few minutes?” He moved to his horse, a tall black animal that he greeted before doing the same saddle check routine he’d done with Gemma. Once finished, he swung up with such fluid grace it took her breath away. How could a tall, muscled man move like that?
Logan titled his chin toward Pam. “I’m going to have Becky walk a bit and get used to her mount.”
“Watch your mama, Sophie.” Pam turned the baby, and Becky waved at her daughter.
“Bec, relax and focus on riding. Don’t look at Sophie. I want you to watch where you’re going.” He clicked his tongue and his horse flowed into a walk. She followed, using her legs to get the horse to walk, and guiding her with the reins.
“Turn your body the way you want her to go,” Pam called out. “Keep it natural, she’ll understand.”
After a few turns, with both Pam and Logan giving her corrections, she enjoyed the challenge of asking this powerful creature to follow her directions. It was exhilarating. And when Logan praised her for doing something right? Freaking awesome.
Logan brought his horse around to stand by Pam and Kendra. “One more time, Bec. I want to see your control.”
Okay, she could do this. Becky concentrated on keeping her body in the straight line, guiding with her legs, seat, and reins. Bringing Gemma to a stop, she let out her breath. “I want to learn more.”
“Not today. I got some great shots of the two of you.” Kendra nodded at Pam holding Sophie. “Now let’s get Logan with the baby. That will be the money shot. The cowboy and former Marine hero holding a baby? Everyone will fall in love.”
“Don’t call me a hero.”
Becky froze in the saddle at Logan’s harsh tone.
“Okay, I…” Kendra looked away, a flush crawling up her neck. “I’m sorry.”
Logan creaked as he adjusted in his saddle. “Let me have the baby.”
Becky sucked in a breath, ready to put a stop to this if either her daughter or Logan wasn’t up to doing a stepdad-and-daughter moment on the horse. So far, Sophie hadn’t shown an ounce of fear, but Logan hadn’t held her yet.
Pam crossed to her brother and lifted the baby. Sophie held her arms up, reaching for Logan. Her face glowed with excitement. She began babbling her joy.
Becky’s heart skipped a beat. Her sweet girl wanted Logan.
As Logan closed his hands around her baby, a lingering gentleness chased out the last traces of anger on his face, and erased all worry from Becky’s mind.
Her daughter was safe in her stepfather’s arms.
It was Becky’s heart that was in danger.
…
Logan met those incredible, trusting eyes in her baby face. Then Sophie smiled, revealing her gums. And just like that he was lost. He tried to fight it, tried to resist. If he took her, this little girl was going to rip all the carefully constructed Band-Aids off his wounds, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. If he made the wrong choice and Sophie got hurt, it’d shred him into a living mass of bloody pain and endless nightmares. He closed his hands around Sophie and lifted her. She was so light and tiny. His hands circled all the way around her, his fingers touching.
Don’t squeeze too tight.
Logan sat frozen, holding the baby out like a squirming puppy. She kicked her little legs, a huge smile carving her face. Her hazel eyes stared at him with complete trust. Remembering to breathe, he inhaled her powdery baby scent.
A memory washed across his mind—Pammy when she was about four or five, pretending to run from him as he pounded across the pasture atop his horse. Logan would lean over and easily sweep her up. She’d throw her arms around his neck, laughing with the wild abandonment of a child.
Okay, if he could do that when he’d been a teenager, he could hold a baby on his horse. “Let’s do this.”
The kid babbled something, as if agreeing. She held her pudgy arms out to him. Her fingers were so tiny, maybe half the length of his little finger. It’d be so easy to break her. He carefully tucked her into his the crook of his arm.
Don’t hold her too tight, but tight enough to not drop her.
The constant directions from his brain were making him clench his jaw hard enough to hear a popping sound in his ear. He glanced down. Sophie gave him another gummy grin and bounced.
Damned if he didn’t smile back. How could he help it, this kid had no fear. None. She wanted to ride. He urged Remy into a walk.
Sophie giggled, craning her head back and forth to see everything. Her small body wiggled in unrestrained happiness. Logan could imagine her in a few years—a girl with Becky’s blond hair on her own horse tearing across the pastures.
He grinned…until the picture in his head changed, and all he saw was that baby in the mud house….
Focus. He wasn’t in Afghanistan. He was in the saddle on his ranch where he had control.
Turning, he headed toward Becky. She’d dismounted and leaned a shoulder against the tree. Her beaming smile hit him square in the chest, like an anchor, that grin held him right here in the present.
“Hold up,” Kendra said. “Act like you’re showing your stepdaughter the land and her heritage now that she’s a Knight.”
He’d practically forgotten Kendra. She was running around, snapping pictures. Okay, he could do a few more minutes. Logan stopped Remy, then carefully shifted Sophie, and leaned his head close, pointing off into the distance as if he were showing the kid something.
“What’s wrong?”
Pammy’s sharp voice jerked his attention to his sister and wife by the tree. What the hell?
Becky was dancing frantically and waving her arms around her body. “Bees! There’s bees.”
“Crap, a hive.” Pam got the horse’s reins and led her away.
Logan went on alert. A ticked off hive was dangerous. He opened his mouth to tell his wife to calm down and move away when Becky whirled around and ran. What the hell was she over-reacting for? That wasn’t like her.
“Logan!” Pam screamed. “Becky says she’s allergic to bee stings!”
Allergic. He hadn’t known. “Shit.”
Becky’s long legs ate up ground as she fled. He couldn’t see if any bees followed her. Then he heard her yelp. Stung or hurt in another way? Thrusting Sophie into Kendra’s arms, he said, “Get the first aid kit in my truck.” He urged Remy into a run. The horse responded, easily covering the ground. As he closed in on Becky, he heard her panting over the pounding hooves. “Becky, stop!”
She kept running in a full-blown panic. Fear that she’d trip and break her leg spurned him into action. Once he caught up to her, he leaned low, hooked his arm around her waist, and hoisted her up. “Swing your leg over.”
Becky latched onto him, wheezing. She was straddling him, her arms around his neck, face buried against his shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. Hang on.” He slowed and turned the horse, heading straight for the truck. Hot fear burned his veins. What did he do? Call the paramedics? Take her to the hospital? He threw Pam the reins.
“Look at me.” He eased Becky’s head back.
Her face was beet red, eyes swollen and wet from crying. Jesus, she was terrified. Then her eyes widened. “Sophie! She could be allergic, too!”
Pam put her hand on Becky’s leg. “She’s safe in the truck with Kendra.”
Becky relaxed a little bit, but she was definitely struggling to get air.
“Did you get stung, or just scared?”
She held up her arm. “Stung. Purse in truck. Throat’s swelling. Injection.”
Jesus Christ. Logan saw at least four or five welts on her arm. Alarm fired in his guts and chest. Dismounting with her in his arms was tricky, but he got them on the ground and to the truck. Yanking open the passenger door, he set Becky down. He grabbed her purse off the floorboard and fished out the injection pen. Snapping off the cap, he caught her face. Her eyes were dialed with raw panic. “Thigh?”
She barely nodded.
No time to think, he plunged the needle into her leg, then picked her up, and cradled her on her lap. “Breathe, Becky. Nice and easy.”
“Paramedics are on their way.” Pam’s blue eyes were worried as hell. She had a pair of tweezers from the first aid kit. “Hold her arm.”
While his sister worked to get the stingers out, he pitched his voice low and soothing. “You’re okay. Just breathe.” Her body was rigid, but he could hear air moving.
Thank God the paramedics arrived fast. They slapped oxygen on her and Logan gently settled her on the gurney, all the while his thoughts raced. Had he been fast enough with the shot? An anaphylactic reaction could be fatal. “You’re okay, sugar. Just relax.”
Becky fought, yanking the oxygen off. “Sophie.”
A second wave of alarm spread through him. He’d be alone with the kid. He could hear the baby crying in his truck. What the hell would he do?
One look at Becky’s frantic eyes told him what a selfish bastard he was. He pressed the oxygen back on her face and held her hands in his. Her painful wheezing tore at him, and he firmed his voice. “We’ll take care of her, I swear it. I’ll meet you at the hospital. Just do what they tell you.”
“We need to go. Now.”
He saw the young paramedic’s concern. They had the equipment in the vehicle to help her. Logan would only be in the way. It took everything he had, but he let her go.
Once the ambulance left, he spun and headed toward his truck. Kendra had climbed out of the vehicle, and both she and Pam were desperately trying to calm Sophie. The sirens had terrorized her.
Pam looked up at him. “She wants her mom. Maybe you can try holding her?”
He stared at the kid’s red face, her huge eyes flooded in heartbreaking tears. That baby loved her mama more than anything in the world. He should have known his wife was severely allergic. Should have moved quicker, gotten to Becky faster.
Sophie arched back from Pam and reached her arms out to Logan. For a second, time stopped. All he saw in that desperate baby was longing for him to make it all better. Fix it. His pulse hammered, his heart stuttered. He couldn’t breathe as the familiar panic banded around his chest, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Escape. He had to escape.
Forcing his lungs to work, he croaked out, “I have to get to the hospital. Take Sophie to my house. Jiggy’s there, maybe seeing the dog will calm her.” He raced off. In his rearview mirror, he saw the baby bury her face in Pam’s neck, her entire body shuddering with sobs.
His wife was in an ambulance fighting a severe allergic reaction and he’d just bailed on his inconsolable stepdaughter. Did he need any more proof as to why he couldn’t have a real marriage and family?
Right now, what mattered the most was getting to Becky.