3
‘WHAT?’
Audra’s legs threatened to give way. Had she not been leaning against the car, she would have collapsed to the ground.
‘Mom?’ Sean had undone his seat belt and was leaning over the backseat, his eyes wide. ‘Mom, what’s happening?’
Louise stared back too, fear on her face. Tears made hot tracks down Audra’s cheeks. She sniffed again and wiped them away.
‘This can’t be,’ she said.
Whiteside’s features remained blank. ‘Ma’am, I need you to come with me to my car.’
Audra shook her head. ‘But … but my children.’
He stepped closer, lowered his voice. ‘For their sake, let’s keep this civil, now. You just do like I say and this whole thing’s going to go a lot easier for you and them. Now come on.’
Whiteside reached for her arm and she allowed him to guide her away from the back of her station wagon to the front of his cruiser.
‘Mom? Mom!’
‘Tell him it’s all right,’ Whiteside said.
Audra looked back to her car. ‘It’s all right, Sean. Look after your sister. We’ll get this straightened out in a few minutes.’
They reached the cruiser, and he said, ‘Empty your pockets onto the hood there.’
Audra dug into the pockets of her jeans, made a pile of tissues and loose change on the hood. Whiteside tossed the bag of marijuana on top.
‘That’s it? Now turn your pockets inside out.’
She did so, and he turned her by the arm so she had her back to him.
‘Hands behind your back.’
Audra heard the snick-click of metal, felt his hard fingers on her wrist.
‘You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney during interrogation; if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand?’
As cool metal wrapped around each of her wrists, the back door of the station wagon opened. Sean spilled out, landed on his hands and knees on the dirt.
‘Mom, what’s happening?’ he called as he scrambled to his feet.
From inside the car, Louise’s frightened cries, rising.
‘Everything’s all right,’ Audra said, but Sean kept coming.
‘Do you understand?’ Whiteside asked again.
Sean, running now, said, ‘Hey, let my mom go.’
‘Sean, just get back—’
Whiteside jerked and twisted the cuffs, shooting pain into Audra’s wrists and shoulders. She cried out, and Sean skidded to a halt.
‘Do you understand your rights?’ Whiteside asked once more, his mouth at her ear.
‘Yes,’ she said, the word squeezed between her teeth, the steel biting into her skin.
‘Then say it. Say, yes, I understand.’
‘Yes, I understand.’
‘Thank you.’ He turned to Sean. ‘Best get back in the car now, son. We’ll get this all settled in a minute or two.’
Sean raised himself to his full height, tall for his age, but he looked so tiny there on the side of the road.
‘Let my mom go.’
‘I can’t do that, son. Now go on back to the car.’ He jerked the cuffs again, spoke into her ear. ‘Tell him.’
Audra hissed at the pain.
‘Tell him, or this is going to get complicated.’
‘Sean, go back to the car,’ she said, fighting to keep the fear from her voice. ‘Listen, your sister’s crying. You need to go and take care of her. Go on, be a good boy for me.’
He pointed at Whiteside. ‘Don’t you hurt her,’ he said, then he turned and walked back to the station wagon, glancing back over his shoulder as he went.
‘Brave boy,’ Whiteside said. ‘Now, you got anything sharp on you? Anything that might cut me when I search you?’
Audra shook her head. ‘No, nothing. Wait, what, search me?’
‘That’s right,’ Whiteside said as he hunkered down behind her. He wrapped his big hands around her ankle and squeezed, moving the fabric of her jeans against his palms.
‘You can’t do that,’ she said. ‘Can you? A woman officer should do it.’
‘I can search you, and that’s what I’m doing. You don’t get special treatment just for being a woman. Was a time I could have called on the Silver Water PD for a female officer, just as a courtesy to you, not because I’m obliged to – I’m not – but not anymore. Mayor closed the P D three years ago. Town couldn’t afford it anymore.’
His hands worked their way up her calf and thigh, squeezing, exploring. Then he pressed the back of one hand up between her thighs, into her crotch, only for a moment, but enough to close her eyes and sour her stomach. Then across her buttocks, into the hip pockets, and down the other leg, before his forefingers probed down into her sneakers. Then he stood, hands brushing down her sweat-soaked back, around the front, across her stomach, skimming the outline of her breasts, up to her shoulders, down her arms.
It wasn’t until he was done that Audra realized she had been holding her breath. Now she released it in one long, quivering exhalation.
Then she heard the crying coming from her car, higher and higher, nearing hysterical. ‘My children,’ she said.
‘Don’t worry about them,’ Whiteside said, and he guided her to the back of his cruiser. He opened the passenger-side door. ‘Watch your head.’
He placed a hand on top of her scalp, pressed down, guided her inside.
‘Feet,’ he said.
Audra wondered what he meant for a moment before she understood, then she lifted her feet into the cruiser. He slammed the door shut, and the world seemed suddenly hushed.
‘Oh God,’ she said, and she could hold back the tears no longer. ‘Oh God.’
Panic rattled inside her mind, inside her chest, promising to drive out all reason if she did not get it under control. She forced herself to breathe in deep through her nose, hold it, breathe out through her mouth, the tip of her tongue pressed to the back of her teeth. The relaxation exercise she’d learned when she was getting clean. Focus on the now, find something with your eyes, concentrate on that until the world levels off.
Through the cage that separated the cruiser’s backseat from the front, she saw a two-inch tear in the seam of the leather-upholstered headrest. She stared at that, breathing, in, hold, out, in, hold, out.
In her peripheral vision, she saw Whiteside move to the back of the cruiser, then heard the trunk open and close again. He went to the front, lifted the baggie full of marijuana from the hood, dropped it into a brown envelope, did the same with the scraps of tissue and change she’d taken from her pockets. She returned her gaze to the tear in the headrest, refocused on her breathing. The passenger door opened, and Whiteside tossed the two envelopes onto the seat before bending down to peer in at her.
‘You got family nearby?’
‘No,’ Audra said.
‘Anyone can come pick up the kids for you?’
‘I have a friend,’ she said. ‘In California. San Diego.’
‘Well, that don’t help us much right now, does it? What about their father? Where’s he at?’
‘New York. We’re not together anymore.’
Whiteside exhaled through pursed lips, disappeared in thought for a few moments, and then nodded, a decision made. He reached for the radio handset on the dashboard.
‘Collins, you out there?’ He remained still for a moment, his head cocked, listening. ‘Collins, where are you?’
A crackle, then a woman’s voice. ‘I’m out on the Gisela Road, sir. What do you need?’
‘I’m on the County Road, right by the Silver Water turnoff,’ he said. ‘I just made an arrest for possession. I got two kids in the suspect’s car, so I’m going to need you to take care of them, all right? And see if you can get a hold of Emmet. I need a tow out here.’
Silence for a few seconds before Whiteside spoke again.
‘Collins?’
‘Yeah.’
‘You think you can get hold of Emmet for me?’
Another pause, and Whiteside moistened his lips.
‘Collins? Yes or no?’
‘Will do,’ the woman said. ‘Give me five, ten minutes.’
Whiteside thanked her and put the handset back into its cradle. He looked back to Audra and said, ‘All right. Now we just sit tight and wait awhile.’
Through the open door, Audra heard Louise’s wailing, cutting through the simmering panic in her mind.
‘Listen,’ she said. ‘My children are crying. I can’t leave them there.’
He sighed, then said, ‘All right. I’ll go see to them.’
‘Wait, can I—’
The door slammed closed, rocking the car on its suspension. As she watched him stroll toward her station wagon, Audra said a silent prayer.