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Hero by Samantha Young (19)

What happened between Caine and me next took me by surprise. There was definitely an intimacy between us that hadn’t been there before, but instead of us relaxing into it, a new kind of tension sprang up between us. There was a desperation in our interactions—sex between us became almost an addiction, an obsession. It was wild and passionate as we tried to quell this tension that couldn’t be quelled.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to be there tomorrow night?” I was perched on Caine’s desk, my legs crossed at the ankles. There was a possibility I was sitting on important paperwork, but Caine hadn’t said a word.

He was too busy staring at my legs.

“Caine?”

His gaze roamed up my body and I shivered at the heat in his eyes. “I told you this party is mostly business. We’re there to rub elbows with clients and potential clients. No one will question the fact that I brought my PA.” He suddenly grinned and it was wickedly sexy. “Although they might question my motives in hiring one that looks like you.”

“Henry’s already suspicious.”

He shrugged. “Henry doesn’t know a thing.”

Hmm, I wasn’t so sure. “And what about my name?”

“We already introduced you as Alexa Hall at the last party.”

“And you don’t think anyone is eventually going to find out that’s not my name? Everyone in the company knows my surname, Caine.”

“Fine.” He sighed. “We just won’t mention your surname. We’ll introduce you as Alexa. Not to be a dick or anything, but no one there will really care what my PA’s surname is.”

Arrogant SOB. “Ouch.”

He slid his hand along the inside of my thigh in a comforting gesture that mostly just turned me on. “The truth is these people, my people, they’re self-important, self-involved, and all they care about is who has the most influence.”

“Which doesn’t include the PAs.” His expression gave me my answer. “You know, I was thinking about a career move. Like … moving into the events management business …”

Caine smiled softly. “You’d be good at that.”

Gratitude rushed through me. “You really think so?”

He nodded. “I know so. But give me plenty of warning.” His fingers moved higher up my thigh and his voice thickened. “You’re the best PA I’ve ever had. It’ll take time to replace you.”

As he touched me I let my head fall back and I savored the physical rush of being with him, but somewhere in the back of my mind his words twisted into something ugly.

Something real I didn’t want to face.

Caine would eventually replace me.

· · ·

I should have known attending the party with Caine was a bad idea. The only other person I knew there was Henry, and he’d brought a date and was much more interested in seducing his date than doing anything to promote “friendship” with other businessmen at the party.

The party was hosted by investment guru Brendan Ulster and his wife, Lacey. Caine said their circle took turns to throw these kinds of bashes throughout the year, and this year it was hosted under the pretense of an apartment warming, as the Ulsters had just purchased a top-floor apartment across the Common from Caine on Beacon Street.

The place was beautiful.

The people … well, not so much.

Among the men, Caine was a man’s man, the kind of guy that other men looked up to and admired. Among the women, Caine was that elusive catch. If the men weren’t attempting to engage Caine in business conversation, they were trying to engage me in flirtation. It was exhausting fending them off, my irritation increasing as so many of them looked at me as if I were easy pickings. I was of course just the PA. And I had the distinct impression that they thought I was the kind of woman who would do anything to be near a powerful man.

They weren’t the only reason I was annoyed. The night had started out well—Caine was attentive and funny as he made dry remarks about some of the snootier people we met. However, as the evening wore on, he began to treat me with a familiar aloofness that was driving me insane. I had no idea what had happened in the space of an hour, but I was biding my time until the end of the party to let him have it.

“You’ve been noticeably absent from society lately, Caine,” some woman whose name I couldn’t remember purred to him as she cut me off from his side by insinuating herself between us. She ran a perfectly manicured nail along his shoulder and pressed her breasts against his arm. “There are rumors that you’re hiding some kind of forbidden dalliance.”

Forbidden dalliance? I rolled my eyes. Who talks like that?

Caine extricated himself from her and looked away in boredom. “There are always rumors, Kitty.”

She fluffed her hair, seeming perturbed by Caine’s aloofness with her.

Yeah, I could relate.

“True.” She shrugged. “People talk. Well …” She stared at him a moment, waiting for him to pay her some attention. When he didn’t she finally glanced at me questioningly. I merely raised an eyebrow at her. She gave a little huff. “Well, if you’ll excuse me …” She sashayed away from us, her elegant figure wrapped up tight in a pale gold dress.

“The women around here certainly like you,” I noted dryly, wishing I didn’t feel that curl of jealousy in my belly. I’d never been a jealous woman until Caine, and I didn’t particularly like that he provoked that aspect of my personality. I did my best to keep it under wraps, using humor to hide behind.

Caine didn’t reply.

“You know, you might have them fooled, but you don’t fool me.”

He slanted a look at me out of the corner of his eye and I could tell he sensed the dark undercurrent of my mood. “Is that right?” he murmured.

“Mmm. They all whisper behind your back that you’re dangerous, ruthless, exciting, giggling like titillated morons. But I know something they don’t.”

Turning fully now to face me, Caine practically dared, “And what’s that?”

Melancholy coiled around my heart like an iron fist. “You seem dangerous because you are dangerous. You walk among them like a surly tiger, and they’re all just prey caught in your paws. They’re so busy looking up at you, oohing and aahing over how beautiful you are, they have no idea that you’re mere seconds from eating them. That you’re just going to chew them up and spit them out.” I looked away, taking a sip of my drink and willing my hands not to shake as I did so.

The tension we’d felt between us all week seemed to expand into this suffocating thing that wrapped around us, shutting everyone else out.

Finally I found the courage to look at him.

He was staring out at the crowd, seemingly bored. Only the tightness of his jaw gave away his irritation.

A grim-faced gentleman nodded at him from across the room and Caine lifted his drink in acknowledgment.

“Who’s that?” I said curiously, trying to draw focus away from the bad mood between us.

“Leonard Kipling. Pharmaceuticals giant.”

“You know everyone, don’t you? I didn’t think Kipling was the kind of man you wanted to get into bed with.”

“He’s powerful. I don’t rule out anyone with his kind of influence. Who knows where the future may take me, or if there’ll come a day when an acquaintance with him will benefit us both?”

I eyed the stranger, noting that behind his grim expression was actually the handsome face of a fit man. He looked to be in his late forties. A number of women were shooting him come-hither looks. “Is he married?”

“Divorced,” Caine replied, his tone cool with affected ennui. “Why? Thinking of asking him to replace me when we’re done fucking?”

The ugly suggestion hit me from left field. I stilled, shocked by the hurtful insinuation.

I couldn’t even look at him.

It was true that in the beginning of our acquaintance Caine had been cutting sometimes, but he’d never been outright disrespectful. He’d never sought to be deliberately cruel. Only once … when he was on the defensive.

But never since then.

And never had he made what we were doing feel so cheap … Never had he made me feel so inconsequential.

“Alexa …,” he murmured.

I edged slightly away from him, taking a long gulp of my champagne. Thankfully more people I didn’t recognize came over to talk to Caine and he was distracted while I attempted to regain control of my emotions.

In order to continue at his side for the rest of the evening, I switched off my emotions. I was polite to everyone, even to him, but I was coolly distant. Funnily enough, I sensed my indifference caused some intrigue among some of the guests.

Like I cared.

I cared nothing for them.

I wanted to be away from them and away from this man beside me who was suddenly a callous stranger.

“I appear to have lost my date,” Henry said as he approached us, and the latest gaggle of admirers around my boss departed.

“Did you try the bar?” Caine said.

“Yes.” Henry grinned at him, unperturbed by his mocking. “And before you ask I also tried the restroom.” He slanted a look at me and instantly frowned. “Everything all right, Lexie?”

“I’m fine,” I muttered before finishing off the last of my champagne. I’d been nursing it for an hour.

“Another glass?” Caine asked, and I was gratified to note the uncertainty in his query.

“No, thank you,” I replied, full of demure politeness.

“Is it just me or is it chillier on this side of the room?” Henry quirked an eyebrow at Caine.

“Not just you.” Caine’s gaze burned into me as I studiously avoided it.

“Okay, then. Well … since I’m not interrupting any scintillating conversation over here, Caine, I was speaking to Kipling earlier. He mentioned some business that may interest you.”

“Lead the way …” I noted him starting to follow Henry out of the corner of my eye and then stopping. “Alexa, are you coming?”

I still didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. “Yes. I just need to use the restroom.”

The tension between us rose to new levels as he waited for me to look at him. I didn’t. Finally Caine said, “We’ll be right over there.”

As I watched him walk away, I let the ache I was holding down inside me unfurl.

I was done. I wouldn’t let any man talk to me the way he did.

Every time I thought we were going somewhere, he proved me wrong, and my frustration at the ups and downs in our relationship was at boiling point. It was time to leave before I let my anger erupt in public.

Instead of heading to the restrooms, I made for the exit, my breathing harsh in my ears as I attempted to manage the pain and fury. That meant I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me as I marched down the narrow corridor toward the front door.

A strong hand gripped my arm and I let out a soft cry as I found myself jerked into an alcove opposite the front door. I pressed back into it as Caine’s cologne tingled my nose and senses when he leaned into me. He rested his hands on the wall at either side of my head, caging me in.

“Get out of my way.”

“Lexie—”

I glowered up at him. “I said get the hell out of my way.”

Caine cursed. “Lexie,” he said, his voice hoarse, “I’m sorry.”

Not wanting to crumble in my resolve, I looked over his shoulder, avoiding his dark, liquid gaze. “I’m tired and you have a party to get back to.”

“Don’t do this,” he growled, pressing his fingers against my jaw and gently forcing my gaze back to his. “I fucked up … but don’t shut me out.”

After his behavior tonight he had the audacity to ask that of me? “Are you kidding me?”

He briefly closed his eyes, and there was remorse written all over his face. “Jesus, Lex, I should never have said what I said. As soon as the words were out of my mouth …” He lowered his head and I found my eyes caught in his. “You are the last person in the world I want to hurt.”

My mouth trembled with emotion and I fought the burn of tears. “Then why?”

Caine looked at his feet and when a few seconds passed without an answer I huffed in annoyance and pushed at his chest. “Get out of my way.”

“No.” He lifted his head, eyes heated. “I fucked up and I’m apologizing. Let’s leave it at that.”

Anger curled in my gut. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

His jaw clenched. “Lexie—”

“If you say my name one more time I’m going to scream bloody murder. Just get out of my way, Mr. Carraway.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Alexa—”

“Why?” I pushed up from the wall, pressing my body against his, turning the tables on him, trapping him. “Why? What happened? We were fine when we got here and then suddenly you started acting like I’m the enemy again. Or worse … like I’m a Holland whore you can pass off to someone else when you get bored w—”

“Wrong.” He pushed me back into the wall, his features harsh, his words guttural with feeling. “I’m a jealous bastard who watched man after man flirt with you and I can’t stand the thought of you being with one of them. I said something I didn’t mean because of it.” His chest heaved with emotion.

I sucked in a breath at his confession.

We stared at each other in thickening silence.

“Fine,” I whispered. “But don’t ever speak to me like that again.”

I saw a measure of edginess leak out of him at my response. “I won’t,” he promised softly. “I’m sorry. I’m not …” He shook his head, seemingly as frustrated with his feelings as I was with my own.

And that was when I realized what the problem was between us, where that tension sprang from, where the animosity had a place to fester and grow from …

Friendship, intimacy—it hadn’t made us any less uncertain of each other because of the temporary nature of our relationship. Other couples, normal couples, could admit how they really felt … but admitting anything more than we already had meant setting ourselves up for an even bigger fall.

And yet … I couldn’t help myself.

The words just spilled out of me. “I only want you, you know.”

Caine’s chest shuddered beneath my hand and then suddenly I was in arms. His kiss wasn’t gentle or apologetic. It was wild. His lips pressed hard against my lips, his tongue licking and stroking mine in a wet, deep kiss that I felt between my legs. I clung to him, kissing him back just as passionately, my fingers curling into his hair as I bit playfully at his lip. He groaned into my mouth and shoved me hard against the wall—

A throat cleared behind us and we both froze.

Slowly, Caine broke our kiss but kept his arms wrapped protectively around me as we both looked over his shoulder.

Henry stood smirking at us. “I guess you’re making up after a lovers’ quarrel? Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I?”

I pinched my mouth closed to stop from laughing at his boyish good humor.

Caine, however, had grown taut against me. “You breathe a word of this and I’ll knock your fucking head off.” There was a hint of his old Southie accent in the words.

Henry laughed, but he had the good sense to agree. He pointed to his own mouth. “As silent as the grave.” His chuckles trailed behind him as he wandered back toward the party.

Caine relaxed against me, his eyes still filled with heat. “Let me take you back to my place.” He smoothed his hand over my hip. “Let me apologize properly.”

“What about Kipling?”

“You’re more important.” His confession was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him, didn’t believe him.

But hear him I did.

And God help me but I wanted to believe him.

Hope bloomed through my whole body. Caine might not have admitted what I had with words, but his reaction was all the confirmation I needed.

He only wanted me too.

“Then we better leave now, because you have a lot of apologizing to do.”

I stared at Caine’s luxurious bed with its masculine wooden bed frame and majestic four posts. I’d seen this bed on numerous occasions when I stopped by his apartment to drop off his dry cleaning.

I’d fantasized about what it would be like to lie down on it and have Caine’s body cover mine.

Up until now that had remained a fantasy.

We’d never stayed at Caine’s. Our affair had until this point taken place at my apartment (and occasionally the office).

For some reason a flutter of nerves woke in my belly as I stood in his bedroom. We’d had sex more times than I could count, but as the heat of him pressed against my back, as his fingertips coasted lightly over my bare arm and his breath whispered across the back of my neck, it all seemed new and even more thrilling.

The fabric of my dress tightened across my chest for a moment at the gentle tug on it. Caine slowly pulled the zipper down. My breasts swelled and my nipples peaked with anticipation.

I covered his hands with my own as together we leisurely removed my dress. I stepped out of it, goose bumps rising all over me as I stood in nothing but lingerie and heels. Caine gripped my hips, gently pulling me back against him so I could feel the hard, rigid length of his arousal against my bottom.

He swept my hair off one side of my neck, and his hot lips brushed my ear. “You’re driving me crazy,” he confessed, and the words elicited a groan of pleasure from me as I ground my ass against his erection. “It’s never enough … never enough …” He trailed light kisses down my neck.

“Caine.” Desire bolted through me, slickening the heat between my thighs.

His hands moved back to my hips, and cool air whispered between us as he stepped back a little to allow himself room to explore.

And explore he did.

With light strokes he memorized me with his touch. It was like an erotic massage, the tantalizing gentleness of his hands only increasing my anticipation and arousal.

His heat blazed against my back, his hard-on prodding my ass again as he removed my bra and cupped my naked breasts in his hands.

I sighed, rested my head against his shoulder, and arched into his touch. Ripples of desire undulated low in my belly as he played with my breasts, sculpting and kneading them, stroking and pinching my nipples into hard buds. I thrust into his touch, his name falling from my lips in breathless whispers while he pumped his hips in rhythm with my own movements.

“Your mouth,” he growled in my ear.

I turned my head at his demand and my lips instantly met his. Wrapping my arm around his neck, I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue inside. He kissed me with deep, slow abandon. I gasped as he pinched both my nipples, causing another wave of lust to ripple through my lower belly. His growl of satisfaction rumbled into my mouth and he released my breast to coast his hand down my stomach and over my panties. He rubbed his fingers over them, his hold on me tightening when he discovered they were soaked with my arousal.

He pulled back from our kiss, his eyes low lidded with his own longing. He pressed his fingers against my clit, causing the lace of my panties to catch in delicious friction against it.

“Oh God.” I slipped my hand over his, guiding him.

“So beautiful,” he said, watching my face as his fingers moved under the panties. My hips jerked against him at the feel of his thumb directly on my clit.

“Caine,” I whimpered, my hips moving against his touch.

My eyes drifted closed as the pressure inside me began to build.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

I opened my eyes and stared up at him in a daze.

Suddenly I shattered. “Caine!” I cried out softly.

The floor fell away from my feet as Caine lifted me up into his arms and carried me to his bed. My languid muscles gave way to his wishes and when he settled me on it I fell back against the covers, my arms above my head, panting my satisfaction.

Somehow I found the strength to tilt my hips up when Caine began removing my panties. He threw them on the floor beside the rest of my clothes and then curled his hands around my ankles. His thumbs caressed my skin as we stared at each other in potent silence.

I dropped my gaze to the huge erection straining against the fabric of his Armani pants, and I unconsciously licked my lips.

His fingers sensually caressed my ankles before taking a leisurely, seductive path up my calves. When he reached my knees he pressed down and then outward, forcing my legs open.

I felt decadently shameful as I lay open to his perusal.

For no other man would I have let myself be so vulnerable.

But for Caine I was sexy, sinful … seductive.

I shifted a little, thrusting my breasts out.

His eyes flared as his hands skimmed down the insides of my thighs. “Will it ever be enough?” he said, his voice thick with hunger.

“I don’t know.” I sighed in rapture as he stroked my breasts, his thumbs dragging over my sensitive nipples. “Do you ever want it to be?”

He leaned down, his familiar scent causing another squeeze of desire in my belly. His lips brushed over mine and he pulled back to whisper, “I’d spend my last hours inside you if I could.”

Emotion broke through the desire and I closed my eyes to hold back the overwhelming feeling of euphoria that moved through me.

As if he felt it too and didn’t know how to deal with it, Caine kissed me, this kiss much rougher than the last. He only let go of my mouth to trail kisses down my throat and over my chest.

My thighs tightened against his hips when his lips closed around my nipple. He sucked deep, hard, a pleasurable pain rushing through me as he moved against me. As he had done with his hands, he began to play my breasts with his hot mouth until I was on the brink of coming undone all over again.

“Caine,” I pleaded, my fingers digging into his back. “Undress.”

He looked up, his gaze dark. “Not yet.”

And that was when he shifted lower. His lips traveled down my belly to between my legs. I melted into the mattress in anticipation as he nuzzled his mouth against my sex. He licked my clit, pressed his tongue down on it, and sensation blew through me. “Oh God!” I arched back on the bed, my inner thighs trembling.

That coil inside my belly was unfurling, pulling apart until the tension within me grew tauter, more electric, screaming for release—

“Yes!” I cried loudly as the tension reached its apex. Lights sparked behind my eyes as I came in overwhelming, hard pulses.

While I lay panting, warmth rushed through my limbs to the tips of my fingers and toes. I vaguely felt the bed move. When I could finally pry my eyes open, I saw Caine undressing quickly.

There was a fierceness, a harsh quality of craving in him that thrilled me. I stared at him in awe.

The men who had come before him had always made me feel attractive … but not one of them had ever made me feel necessary. Vital. Not like Caine. Like if he didn’t have me this very second the world would come crashing down around him.

He put a knee on the bed, his cock thick and throbbing between his legs. His hands curled behind my knees and I let out a little mewl of surprise as he pulled me roughly to him. Angling my hips, gripping tight to my thighs, he held my legs open as he kneeled between them and gazed down at me.

My breath stuttered at the heat of him nudging against me. Eased by my arousal, he pushed inside me, his lashes fluttering as my inner muscles clamped around his length.

With a tenderness that made the air whoosh out of my lungs, Caine caught his rhythm. He watched himself sliding inside me and his chest moved up and down in shallow breaths as his excitement increased. His grip on my legs suddenly tightened and he braced on his knees. Caine began to power in and out of me with harder, deeper thrusts that dragged across my clit and stirred me all over again.

“Come for me, Lexie,” he demanded, fucking me harder now, his teeth gritted together as he held his own climax at bay. “Come around me. Fuck, you feel so good …” His words trailed off as the climax started to take him, and seeing the need in his face was the last jarring smash against the growing pressure inside me.

I split apart, and my inner muscles rippled around him.

“Jesus.” His eyes widened at the deep, hard tug of my orgasm on his, and he froze for a second before his hips jerked against me in a long release.

My legs flopped to the bed as he let go of them to collapse over me. Somehow I found the strength to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. The throb of his cock pulsed inside me and an aftershock of arousal moved through me. “Wow,” I whispered, still picturing the look on his face when he came.

It was the hardest he’d ever come with me, and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

I smiled languorously, feeling smug.

“Yeah.” He exhaled slowly, easing up off me but holding on to me so that when he rolled onto his back I was pressed against his side and my head rested on his chest.

“So, that was pretty intense,” I whispered.

Caine drew circles on my arm with his fingertips. “Yeah,” he repeated, sounding staggered.

I laughed softly. “We were both pretty worked up.”

“Yeah,” he repeated again.

“I don’t think this is a night I’ll forget anytime soon.”

A second later I was on my back. Caine leaned over me and gazed down at me with determination. “No, it’s fucking not,” he said thickly. “And it’s not over yet.”

My eyes widened. “I don’t know if I can take much more.”

He kissed me gently, the gesture at odds with his rough vow. “I’m not stopping until we’ve had each other in every way we can.”

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