Standing out on the lawn of my childhood home, I was still carrying with me that strange mix of fear and resolve. I didn’t know what I expected to get out of this. I just knew that if I wanted to move on with my life, I had to talk to him.

Getting out of Boston had been easy. Getting out of Caine’s building, not so much. Upon his departure for work that morning, I wrote him a good-bye note, and I headed down to the front desk. Arnie and Sly were waiting for me.

They tried to detain me, but when I reminded them that was illegal, they let me go. It took me twenty minutes of arguing with them before they realized I meant it when I said I’d call the police on their asses. I felt bad since they’d been protecting me for the last few weeks, but once I’d made this decision, no one, and I meant no one, was standing in my way. Still, as I made my way to the bus station I couldn’t shake the paranoia that had come as a result of my attack. I found myself constantly glancing over my shoulder and imagining the burn of someone’s stare on the back of my neck.

That and the fact that the bus journey was not fun on my wounded body meant I wasn’t in the greatest shape by the time I got to my parents’ home.

Our house had been very modest. My mom bought it when it was just the two of us and she bought it on her teacher’s pay. My father hadn’t contributed much over the years, jumping from one job to the next, so we’d never left. It was a one-story, two-bedroom house with a wood-clad triangle brow that sat over the tiny porch. The freshly painted gray wood was mimicked in the attached garage’s door, the banister on the porch, and entrance. The house itself was built of quaint pale blond brick. It wasn’t much but it was well kept. Even the lawn had been freshly mowed. Clearly my father was more capable of looking after himself than he’d ever let on in the past.

I lifted a hand to tuck away the hair that was blowing in my face and I was surprised to find I was trembling.

Shaking that off, I took a deep breath to try to ease the pressure on my chest. It felt like it was closing on me.

“Come on, Alexa.”

Somehow I made it onto the porch and I could hear a television playing from inside. I rang the doorbell. The television noise muted and I heard footsteps coming toward the door.

I was going to be sick.

For some reason there was a painful twinge in my wound.

The door swung open and a tall, good-looking man stood before me. He was slim with broad shoulders, and he had a full head of black hair peppered generously with gray that contrasted sharply with his bright gray eyes. He looked a heck of a lot like Edward Holland. Even in cheap clothes he seemed to radiate a sense of class and money. His features slackened with shock. “Alexa?”

My lips felt numb. Somehow I managed to force out, “Hi, Dad.”

“What are you doing here?” He stepped back, allowing me to enter the small living room. A closed door on the left-hand side of the room led into the kitchen. The kitchen led onto a backyard that was massive in comparison to the house. The door directly opposite the front door led into a small corridor, which led onto two small double bedrooms and a family bathroom.

I gazed around, hit by a wave of memories.

The furniture was the same after all these years. Pictures of us as a family still hung on the walls.

“Lexie?”

Our eyes met.

I hadn’t expected to find our home … well, still as our home. I’d built this picture up in my head of the place being stripped back, barren of us, erased by everything that was him. But no. Mom was everywhere here.

This had momentarily distracted me, but reading the wary confusion on his face, I wondered if any emotion he ever showed was actually real.

He gestured to the couch. “Take a seat, Lexie.”

“I’d rather stand.”

“What’s this about? I haven’t seen you since your mother’s funeral and I think this is the most you’ve spoken to me in seven years. What’s going on?”

“I was attacked,” I blurted out.

My father paled. “Attacked?”

I nodded. “I was leaving work and a guy stabbed me. He was wearing a hoodie and I didn’t see his face … We haven’t caught him, but the police are investigating it and think the attack might have been premeditated.”

“Stabbed?” He stumbled toward me, his hands reaching out unsurely.

I flinched back from his touch and he froze.

“When?” he whispered.

“A few weeks ago.”

“A few weeks ago? Shouldn’t you be at home recovering?”

“I had to come see you.”

“What was so urgent—”

“The police asked me if there was anyone in my life that had a grudge against me.”

Realization dawned on my father with the impact of a swift kick to the gut. He slumped down onto his armchair and stared up at me in horror. “You think I had something to do with this?”

I quashed the guilt his reaction stirred in me. “No. But for a brief moment I did. I wondered to myself what my leaving did to Mom and to your relationship. For a moment I thought about the man who was capable of leaving a woman to die and I wondered if blaming his disloyal daughter for his own crapshoot of a life could make him unstable.”

“That’s—”

“Far-fetched, I know.” I sighed and sat down wearily on the sofa. “But I’ve been lying in bed these last few weeks and I can’t get it out of my head that the thought even crossed my mind. I’ve been protected and coddled in a friend’s apartment, scared of what’s outside, but even more scared of how messed up I am over you. So I had to come see you.”

Silence fell between us.

Finally my father cleared his throat. His voice was thick. “I am not this monster you’ve made me up to be in your head.”

“No?” Tears burned in my eyes. “How could you leave a woman who had a little boy to take care of … How could you leave her to die? I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t have lived with myself all these years.”

His own eyes were bright with tears and I was surprised he maintained eye contact with me. When in the wrong, or lying, or being evasive, my father had a habit of looking at the ground, or anywhere but into my eyes. “I was in the kind of denial I didn’t know existed, Lexie. I coped with it because I switched it off. I didn’t allow myself to think of her as the vibrant woman she’d been, a confused, lonely, beautiful woman, who loved her kid more than anything in this world. But like me she was weak and she could be selfish. It was many years until she began to haunt me. I don’t know what happened, I just know that the excuses I made to myself, the rationalizations, they burned up into ash in my mouth. I couldn’t stop seeing her face. That’s when I had my breakdown over it, when I told you and your mother.”

“So you do feel remorse? Just not enough to apologize to the man who lost his mother and father within months of each other?”

My dad looked away, his fingers biting into his armchair. “Apologize? What the hell kind of apology could I give him now? Not one that would matter. I let a woman die because I was afraid and I was weak.” He looked back at me. “You have to come to terms with the man I am, Alexa. I’ve had to. I’m not a perfect man. Far from it. I never will be. I’m a weak man and for a long time I was spoiled.”

Tears dripped off my chin. “Tell me one thing. Did you love my mom? Me?”

His mouth quivered. “I did. I do. I just … I was never cut out to be a husband and a father. I’m not built that way.”

It was the sad, horrible truth, but there it was. There was no magic solution to finding a father who would take care of me whenever I needed him, whose unconditional love would soothe the rejection of others, whose love for me would always exceed his love for himself.

My father would never be that kind of dad.

Yet there was a small measure of satisfaction in witnessing the change in him since the last we’d spoken seven years ago. There was self-awareness in him that hadn’t existed before, and it gave me something at least to know that he was fully aware of his shortcomings. It wasn’t enough to ease the ache, and it still didn’t give me a father, or bring Caine’s family back to him.

I wondered then if that little hole inside me would ever go away, or if I’d just have to get used to it, and hopefully one day meet someone who would distract me from what was missing by giving me a love that eclipsed it.

“Can I get you tea? Coffee?” my father asked uncertainly.

Feeling more pain in my stomach, I nodded. “Tea, please. And a glass of water. I need to take some Percocet.”

Somehow he refrained from giving me a scolding look, realizing that any fatherly admonishment would not be welcome from him.

The door at the back of the room closed behind him as he disappeared into the kitchen. Suddenly exhausted, probably from an adrenaline dive, I rummaged through my bag for my phone. I frowned as I flicked the screen open and discovered I had ten missed calls from Caine.

Hadn’t he gotten my note?

I sighed, even more exhausted at the thought of dealing with his stubbornness. The man was quite happy to watch me walk out of his life for good, just as long as I’d healed up physically first!

Idiot.

I threw my phone back in the bag and slumped on the sofa.

A loud clatter followed by a heavy thud made me jerk upright. “Dad? Are you okay?”

Nothing.

I heard my pulse start to race.

“Dad?” I said more loudly and cautiously stood up so as not to tug on my injury. “Dad, are you okay?” I made my way toward the door and pushed it open only to freeze at the sight of my father sprawled across the kitchen floor.

I moved, to rush to him, only to be yanked back into the solid heat of a hard body. Strong arms tightened around my chest. The silver of metal flashed across my vision.

Terror and adrenaline shot through me and without even thinking I heaved back with all my strength, slamming our attacker into the cabinets behind me. A male grunt of pain sounded and his grip loosened enough for me to tear away from him.

My feet slipped on the tile floor as I yanked open the door to the living room. I propelled myself forward into the room, just catching myself on the side table. Framed photographs crashed into my mother’s favorite vase, the glass shattering behind me as I raced for the front door. I was drawn up sharply four feet from it.

Pain brought stinging tears to my eyes as he grabbed at my hair, hauling me backward. I tugged, crying out in agony at the pressure on my scalp as I attempted to break his grasp.

But it was too late and he clamped an arm around my waist.

Every ounce of fear I’d felt over the last few weeks coalesced inside me, turning from something cold into molten fury. I screamed in outrage, pulling my arm out and then slamming my elbow up high behind me. I connected and heard a satisfying howl of pain as I launched myself toward the door.

It wasn’t enough.

Hands clawed at my jacket, dragging me backward. I kicked and screamed, jabbing my elbows back, but he took the blows, and with a strength that overpowered me he wrestled me to the floor.

Shock moved through me as a hooded face came into view. Hard dark eyes glittered down at me. Eyes I didn’t recognize in a face that was shrouded by a black ski mask. All I could see were the eyes and thin pale lips.

The nothingness of his face, the emptiness in his gaze, was terrifying.

I fought harder.

I felt the warm trickle of blood, followed by the burning sting of a cut on my arm.

He’d sliced me as I grappled with him.

“Stupid bitch,” his deep voice hissed. He let go of one of my arms to drive his fist down into my face.

Fire spread out across my cheek, stinging my nose and eyes and dazing me momentarily. I blinked the overabundance of water out of my eyes, trying to focus away from the pain to the man.

I saw the flash of silver again, this time lowering slowly to my throat.

“Missed last time. Stupid going for the gut. Too many variables.”

I couldn’t buck, or shrug him off, for fear the knife would slice right through my skin. “Who are you?” I tried to stall him so I could think.

Think, Lex, think, think, THINK!

“Wouldn’t a gun have been easier?” I wheezed out, surprised by my thoughts and questions. More than anything, more than who he was or why he was doing this, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that if he’d used a gun from the beginning he would probably have killed me already.

Lexie, stop! I shouted at myself, feeling insane. I needed to get out of this, not ponder my assailant’s reasons for weapon of choice!

The guy’s cold eyes suddenly flashed with emotion. “Guns are for pussies.”

He pressed down with the blade.

A loud crash behind him made his head whip around toward the front door. As his face tilted upward, a huge fist appeared, slamming down and jerking his head back with so much force blood from his nose sprayed across my face.

His weight was yanked off me, and the knife clattered to the floor from his weakened grasp.

In awe, I struggled to get up, my hand reaching for my throat to feel the small cut that he’d made … but my gaze was on the tornado that had just entered my childhood home.

Caine.

Rage unlike anything I’d witnessed before emanated from every pore in Caine’s body as he grabbed my attacker by the front of his hoodie and lifted him clean off his feet. He crashed him against the wall so hard pictures shook off from their hooks.

The attacker swung out at Caine, clipping him across the jaw. I reached for the knife and attempted to get to my feet.

I glanced over at Caine, ignoring the ache in my stomach, ready to help if he needed me. The hilt of the knife handle practically melted around my grip with the heat of my emotions.

Caine threw another punch, this time to the attacker’s gut, and he winded him. As the attacker’s head bent over, Caine brought his knee up and forced the guy’s nose to connect with it.

I heard a crack and the agonized muffle it caused.

From there I watched in suspended horror as Caine beat the man. He punched him until he couldn’t stand, and once he was on the floor he ripped the mask off, revealing the bloodied face of a stranger. Caine punched him again. And again.

And again.

“Caine,” I whispered, wanting him to stop. “Caine, stop!” I hurried over to him and without thought of his reaction I placed a hand on his shoulder.

My touch halted him, however, and he looked up at me.

Tears sprang to my eyes at the stark fear I saw mingling with his fury.

For me.

“He’s down,” I said softly.

Caine turned back to the man who was making gurgling, choking noises from the back of his throat. He coughed, his lips parting slightly, and a bubble of blood popped between them.

“Who are you?” Caine demanded.

He groaned and shook his head.

I held the knife out to Caine. He took it and reversed the tables on the son of a bitch. Caine pressed it against his throat and repeated, “Who the fuck are you?”

When he got no response Caine pressed harder and blood began to color the blade’s edge. “I don’t think you realize how much I want to kill you. And I will. It’s called self-defense and I’ve got plenty of money for fancy lawyers who’ll make the court see it my way.”

Still nothing.

Caine bent down, his nose almost touching the man’s. “You touched my woman,” he said, his voice guttural with his rage. “I’m itching to send you straight to hell, you piece of shit. I am not bluffing.”

“O—k—” The attacker coughed, lifting an arm that fell limp before it even got a few inches off the floor. “Matt … hew … Hall … Holland. Hired … me.”

My knees buckled and Caine turned, shock in his eyes at the revelation, just in time to watch me hit the floor.

“Lex!” He scrambled off the hit man and over to me as I braced over on all fours, trying to catch my breath. His hand slipped through my hair to curl around my nape. “Baby …”

My half brother? Someone I’d never even met had hired someone to kill me?

Nausea rose inside me.

I pushed Caine away in time as I vomited bile on my mother’s lacquered hardwood floors.

My hair was pulled back from my face and Caine’s heat enveloped me.

I jerked my head up at the realization his attention was not on our attacker.

We looked back at the bloodied criminal to see he had struggled up to a sitting position, but he was looking through his one eye that wasn’t completely swelling shut toward the kitchen doorway. In unison Caine and I swung our heads around to follow his gaze.

My father stood in the doorway, blood trickling down his forehead, and he had a shotgun pointed at our attacker. “Don’t worry,” he said gruffly. “This bastard isn’t going anywhere.”

Assured my father had things well in hand, Caine tentatively touched my arm. “Lex, you’re bleeding. You need an ambulance.” He curled his arm around me protectively and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I’m okay. Let’s just call the police to come and arrest this piece of shit. But they might want to send an ambulance for him.” I stared over at him to see his eyes were still trained on my father. I sneered at the fear I saw in him. Just a bully with a shiny knife. “I bet you’re rethinking that gun now, huh?”