~ Chapter 4 ~
“Don’t do that, Chastity, don’t look away from me, and don’t close down like that, M' anam-charaid.” Cam reached under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.
As he spoke my soul-mate in Gaelic she couldn’t stop tears from forming, no matter how hard she tried, they rushed into her eyes. Blinking hard, she forced them away, although several broke free to trail down her cheek. Shock fluttered over his face before he flashed forward, kissing the tears away before he crushed her to his chest, rocking her in his arms.
“Christ! What’s wrong? Chastity, tell me right now! What the hell is going on?” Cam’s tone was a mix of horror and pure Alpha as he held her tightly against him while her heart thudded against her ribcage like a flock of birds fighting to be set free.
Words stuck in her throat as her mate’s worry washed over her. What had she been thinking? This was Cam . . . her soul-mate. She could talk to him about anything. Couldn’t she?
“Chastity, we’re not fucking moving from this spot until you tell me what’s got you in this state, baby. I mean it. Is there something wrong with you? Or the kids? Tell me, because I swear there’s nothing you can say that’s worse than the stuff that’s rolling through my head right now. My Wolf is going crazy, ready to tear something apart.”
Taking a great gulp of air in, she looked into his tortured eyes. “It’s sort of to do with kids . . . no, don’t panic. Nothing’s wrong with any of them.” She rushed to calm him. “It’s me . . . it’s just that I’m feeling . . . lost, sort of.”
She stopped, not sure how to explain the feelings that had been building inside of her for months. The yearning to feel a new life growing again, the longing to hold a newborn in her arms once more, the ache to have another child . . . would he understand? After he’d commented so many times that five bairns were more than enough to keep them busy?
“Lost?” Cam canted his head, confusion and surprise flitting across his perfect face. “I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t.” She shook her head. “That’s because I’m not explaining it well. I know our lot are a handful, well, they can be rowdy and take a lot of looking after. I know that.”
Cam smirked, his eyes twinkling. “Aye, they are a bunch of wee tinkers. But we cope okay . . . don’t we? If you’re finding them too much I can hire more help, Chastity. That’s not a problem, you know that. Are they tiring you out? Is that what’s wrong? Just say the word and I’ll get Stracey right on it. She can start looking for someone else to help, and you don’t need to worry. I know I don’t do as much as I should, but with work and making sure security is tight because of, you know, I’m not around as much as I was in the beginning . . .”
He trailed off, looking guilty. Shit. This wasn’t what she wanted. He didn’t have anything to be guilty about. He worked his ass off for her, for the kids, and for every Wolf under his care.
“No, that’s not it. Again, I’m not saying what I want to. Cam, you’ve said it over and over . . . about five being a handful. I know they are, I get that, and I know that you can get more help if we need it. But would that be the case if I wanted . . .”
She stopped once again as the words wedged firmly in the back of her throat. Air seemed to grow thick around her, oxygen suddenly not finding its way into her lungs as she fought to breathe.
“Chas?” Cam gave her a shake. “Breathe, sweetheart. Come on, whatever it is can’t be that bad. Just tell me what it is you want.”
Inhaling sharply, words tumbled out in a rush. “A baby! I want another baby so much. I need to feel one growing inside me again and to hold your child in my arms. It’s like I’ve got this need inside me that’s out of control, but you keep saying five is enough and that means you don’t want anymore and I’ve been crying at night after you’ve gone to sleep . . . I get up and go to the bathroom so I don’t wake you . . . and . . . and . . .”
Tears poured from her eyes now, a torrent pouring down her cheeks as the dam finally broke. Great wracking sobs tearing from her as Cam looked at her with wide eyes briefly before his lips tugged up at the sides, his head shaking as he moved to kiss her quickly.
“You’re a daft lassie, you know that? Why the hell didn’t you speak to me about this sooner? You’ve let this fester and get you in this state? Damn it, baby, you’ve been crying at night? That upsets me, of course, but also makes me angry. Angry that you didn’t come to me, but angry at myself because I know I’ve been so busy that you probably didn’t want to bother me . . . am I right? And my throwaway comments about our five sticking in your head didn’t help either, right?”
“So, you’re not stuck on just having what we have now? I mean five is a lot of kids, Cam.” Chastity sniffled, knowing her nose would be bright red as would her eyes. She wasn’t a pretty crier.
“Hmm, five kids . . . aye, they’re a handful, but who am I? Am I, or am I not a rather rich man who can afford a bevy of nannies and paid help when that’s required?”
He stopped and kissed the tip of her nose before carrying on. “And, do we, or do we not, live with two Wolf Packs to help us? I’m sure if we ask we’ll have plenty of help . . . and I’m certain that I’ve never said that I don’t want any more bairns, Chastity. Not once have those words crossed my lips. I’m sure I would remember saying something as important as that, but I’m sorry if my joking around about our noisy brood has given you that impression. I’m even sorrier that you’ve been bottling this up, and I feel like the worst mate in the world that I didn’t pick up on it.”
Chastity wasn’t sure she’d heard right, tilting her head she asked, “What? Are you saying you’re not against us adding to our own little pack?”
Cam snorted, his face a mask of mirth. “I wouldn’t say ours is exactly little as it is, but I’ve never had a set number in my head to begin with. When you never brought it up I thought it was because you didn’t want any more, that you were happy with what we had. Or, more importantly, that you had your hands full already, Mo Runsa.”
When he finished with My Love her heart felt as if it would break as emotions coursed inside, her eyes filling again with tears. “I guess I’ve learned, again, that I should’ve come to you and made my feelings clear. But with everything that’s been happening lately I didn’t want to burden you further . . . with those damn letters threatening us, and the children, it didn’t seem right for me to ask you to add another baby to take care of.”
Cam’s face hardened when she mentioned the danger to their family. After all, it’s why they’d relocated to the Pack almost full-time. It was far safer for the kids to have Wolves around them instead of stone walls and security in Los Angeles.
“I’m not going to stop until I find who is behind those letters, Chastity, and when I do they’ll regret the day they decided to go up against me. Taking me on is one thing, but bringing my family into it is a step too far, and they’ll find that out soon enough.”
“So you still think this is business related?” she asked quietly, unsure that he was on the right track, a quiver in her guts right at the start had her thinking otherwise.
“What else could it be?” Cam cocked an eyebrow. “Someone is trying to put me off my game and what better way than to threaten what I hold dearest? I’ve several deals that are ongoing and they’re multi-billion dollar deals, Chastity. If something happens to muck them up, they could land in the hands of several of my competitors. They won’t affect my business overall, but they’re something I’m setting in place for the future, for the good of the Packs and the kids, so I don’t want them to go tits up. I assure you . . . I won’t be happy if they fall through.”
“I see. Well, I hope things go smoothly.” She snuggled against him, feeling at ease for the first time in months. “And going back to kids . . . you’re not against us having another baby?”
Cam’s hold tightened around her, kissing the top of her head. “No, I’m not. Although I think I’ll have kittens if you have another set of triplets! I swear if that’s the case we’re employing a bevy of nannies this time, Chastity. No arguments.”
Giggling she shook her head. “No argument from me, darling. I’ll be the first one to agree to that if it happens again, but it didn’t the last time, so we should be okay.”
“Anyway.” Cam’s lips found her ear, nibbling on her lobe. “We may just have started the process . . . I didn’t use protection.”
Chastity’s heart sped up, a staccato beat thudding in her chest as she realized he was right. “Shoot, can I just say something . . . it felt so good.”
“Yes, Mo muirnín, it did. I’ve missed feeling your skin on mine . . . we need to remedy that.”
“Well, I’ve got the kids sorted for the rest of the day, and evening, so you’ve got me all to yourself . . . what’re you going to do about that?”
A rumble started in his chest, growing as it made its way up until it erupted in a possessive growl. “Home, now. Nobody will see us until tomorrow, Chastity. I’ll spill so much seed inside you that I hope you’ll soon have that babe you want so much, my mate.”
She smiled, giggled then squealed as he stood quickly, pulling her with him. “Eager?” she breathed.
“Damn right I am.” He huffed, pulling his jeans up hastily, chuckling as she sorted herself.
“Me too,” she admitted, acknowledging to herself she’d been stupid to stay silent. All she needed to do was talk to the person she loved with every fiber of her being . . . and who loved her back just as much in return. If the look of adoration he was now showering her with was anything to go by.
Now she had the world tilted back into focus and all was right again. Cam grabbed her hand, tugging her back toward home.
“Come on. I’m eager to get started on that baby.”
Her heart sang as she ran behind him, her man, her love, her soul-mate . . . and she’d managed to stop him from tearing anyone’s head off. Success!