Chapter Nine

 

Pain drummed within Kristina's head, tensing every muscle in her body. She pressed her fist against her forehead, tears burning her eyes. "The tea is not helping!" she sobbed.

"Shh, my sweet sister, you must relax back and let me bathe your face in cold water," Anna whispered.

"We need more cold cloths to put on her head," Tavia said.

Kristina heard water splashing and then another cool cloth was draped across the top of her head.

As she relaxed and held perfectly still, the pain lessened a tiny amount. It was not quite so excruciating now. She willed it away and told herself she felt better. The thought of Colin drifted into her mind—his deep, soothing voice. She wished he were here now.

"The second cup of willow bark and poppy tea is steeped and cool enough." Tavia's voice moved closer.

"I'll help her drink it. Lean up a wee bit." Anna touched her shoulder.

Kristina did not want to move but she leaned up. The pain throbbed harder. She forced herself to drink as much of the honey-sweetened herbal tea as she could, then lay back again.

After the pain simmered down, Kristina took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're well, Anna. I worried Blackburn would hurt you."

"Blackburn is dead," Anna said with cold finality. "You never have to worry over him again."

Kristina had never been glad to hear of anyone's death before, but Blackburn was the exception. He had near destroyed her life and Anna's. They were safe now.

Kristina relaxed, her mind drifting, as if on a cloud, away from the pain.

She did not even realize she was sleeping until she awoke to the sound of Anna's voice. "Looks like she's waking."

Someone placed a fresh, cool compress on her forehead and eyes again.

"Anna?" she whispered, wishing the pounding in her head would cease, though thankfully it had improved.

"Aye, dear sister. How are you feeling?" Anna rubbed her shoulder.

"My head still aches but not as bad."

"You can sleep more if you wish. I'll stay here with you." Anna held her hand and stroked it. Although Kristina wanted to argue about sleeping more, she found she could not resist drifting off again.

Later, a sound awoke her. She sensed someone nearby. The room was warm and cozy and smelled of food, which did not appeal.

"Oh, good. You're awake again. Are you hungry?" Anna asked.

"Nay." Her stomach ached with queasiness.

"Colin told me it has been a long while since you've eaten much more than a piece of roasted grouse, so you need to eat something. At least a few sips of this broth."

Oh, she truly did not want it, but she knew she would have to force it down in order to recover. "Very well."

"Colin is very concerned about you. He asks about you every half hour."

"Indeed?" Kristina's face heated, and her heart rate sped up. Was he truly that worried about her? "He's a kind man."

Anna helped her lean up to drink a sip of the warm and salty chicken broth. "And—in case you're wondering—Colin is handsome."

Kristina almost choked but forced herself to swallow, then coughed.

"Careful." Anna helped her to lie on her side.

Kristina had known Colin was gorgeous, maybe from the impressions she'd gotten when her fingers had taken the measure of his facial bone structure, or maybe she knew from instinct. Regardless, she did not wish Anna to know of her intense feelings for him. It was all too new and unfamiliar. She had already accepted, ages ago, that no man would ever be interested in her, and now she found it hard to believe Colin might be. Surely it was just a side effect of their being in a dangerous and frightening situation together.

"Did you hear what I said?" Anna asked.

"Aye, but since I cannot see Colin, his looks are of little importance. What of Neacal?" she asked, hoping to get the conversation off herself and Colin.

"Neacal is extremely handsome and I love him. He's such a caring man," she said softly, with much emotion. "He saved my life, more than once."

Alarmed that her sister had been in danger, Kristina frowned. "What happened? Were you hurt?"

"Nay, I'm fine. I'll tell you about it later, once you're well. For now, you must focus on getting your strength back."

"Very well. Will you marry Neacal?"

"Aye. Now that you're back, we can proceed with the wedding plans." The joy in Anna's voice was evident and it increased Kristina's own good cheer.

"I'm so happy for you. I have not even met him yet, really. Although I did hear him shouting from the battlements when first I arrived here. He sounds like a strong, commanding chief."

"He is, and he helped Colin by carrying you up here to this room when you first arrived. Do you remember?"

"Nay. I must thank him, then."

"When you're ready, I'll bring him in so you can talk to him."

"I can tell much about a person by their voice. And, at the moment, I can tell you're happier than you've been in over two years."

"'Tis true. Neacal brings me great joy and peace."

Kristina felt comfort and satisfaction for her sister. "After all you've been through, you deserve someone wonderful. You are indeed fortunate and blessed."

"As are you," Anna returned quickly.

"To have been rescued from the brigands, aye."

"And to have such an attractive and wonderful man as Colin Cameron looking at you the way he does." Anna's voice was teasing and playful.

Although delight brightened Kristina's emotions for a moment, some dark part of her squashed it down. "Since I cannot see, I'll never know, will I?"

"But you will find out about the feelings behind those looks."

Or mayhap she already had, if his kiss was any indication. Still, she missed her sight and missed seeing people's facial expressions. Her curiosity got the best of her. "How does he look at me?" she asked quietly.

"As no man has ever gazed at you before, sister—at least, no man I have observed. As if… you are a star-filled night sky, or a heather-swathed glen in summer. Or a bright rainbow over a loch."

When Kristina imagined a man looking at her thusly, as if she were beautiful, her heart ached. How could he possibly? She had felt the scar on her face many times. It was rough and jagged and people had told her it was a harsh ruddy color. "'Haps your eyes are playing tricks on you. Besides, it matters not." Kristina had to make sure it didn't matter. She had to protect herself from heartbreak. If she let herself believe Colin truly was smitten with her, and then he changed his mind and decided he couldn't tolerate her looks or deal with her blindness, she would be devastated.

Anna blew out an annoyed puff of air. "How can you say that? Do you not like Colin?"

"I like him well enough." 'Twas a grand understatement but Anna did not need to know of her feelings.

"Well enough?" Anna asked doubtfully.

"I only just met him."

"We shall see, won't we?"

"You will." Kristina found it slightly irritating how many sight expressions people used which she could no longer relate to.

"You ken what I mean. We will find out what happens. Mayhap he will want to marry you."

To counteract the sudden leap of her heart, Kristina snorted. "Come now, Anna. Surely 'tis not so dark in this room that you cannot see I still possess the scar upon my face. I hold no illusions that a handsome man would want to marry me."

"Do you think a scar matters? Neacal has many scars, as well. A larger one on his face than you have. And many scars on his body. I find him gorgeous beyond measure."

"We both ken 'tis acceptable and even admirable for a warrior to have scars. But for a woman, 'tis different."

"Regardless, you are a beautiful lass."

"Colin told me he will become a chief one day. He will want a beautiful and perfect wife, one who can see and attend to the duties of lady of the castle. One his people will admire, not ridicule."

"Nonsense. Someone can easily be hired to help with running the castle. And everyone I know admires you."

"I don't wish to speak of this." 'Twas too painful to think about, for she knew, no matter how much she would love to be Colin's wife, neither he nor his clan would find her suitable, with her many flaws and incapacities. She had been a great burden to him out in the wilds of the Highlands. It mortified her that he'd had to wait on her hand and foot. He would want a strong, capable wife.

"Very well." Anna sounded subdued. "Would you allow me to feed you this broth?"

"Mayhap in a little while." Kristina turned over and pulled the covers up to her ears.

She was thankful to be safe behind these castle walls. But now what? All she thought about was Colin, and she couldn't have him. He might think he wanted her now, but he would change his mind once he realized how difficult she would make his life. Tears dripped from her eyes into the pillow. She craved sleep, so she could briefly escape the hand she'd been dealt, the blindness. For when she slept, she had visual dreams. Even though some of them were frightening, she still treasured being able to see inside her dreams.

When the rumble of masculine voices awoke her, she did not know how long she'd been sleeping. She lay perfectly still and listened.

"She is sleeping," Anna said softly.

"I can sit with her for a while," Colin said, his voice rough and sensual. "You and Neacal get some rest."

"Maybe for a few minutes, but I don't wish to go to bed right now."

"Very well."

"A quarter hour," Anna said.

"Aye."

My, wasn't Anna being motherly, Kristina thought. But her main concern right now was that she likely looked even worse than usual. Her hair had not been brushed in days. Her face was swollen… but what did she care? Colin had already seen her at her worst. Still, mortification burned over her, for she did not feel attractive before a man she was incredibly drawn to.

Anna's footsteps receded, and the door closed.

Although it was clear Colin was trying to be quiet, his boots clomped across the floor behind her. A heated tension burned over her. She recalled what Anna had said about the way he looked at her. Was he gazing at her thusly now? She would give anything to have her sight back so she might see him. Her heart pounded hard at his nearness. The chair beside the bed squeaked as he sat down.

"You're not asleep," he murmured, slightly amused. "Are you?"

How did he know? She frowned and turned over to face him. "Your clunking boots awakened me."

He blew out a short breath, almost as if he might be smiling. "How do you feel?"

"My head still pains me."

"I'm sorry." His voice darkened. "I blame myself for your injuries."

The guilt in his voice dug at her heart. "Nay. 'Twas not your fault."

"I should've protected you better."

He was so kind and heroic, he wriggled his way into her soul. "You did protect me, Colin. You saved my life. Without you… I wouldn't be here." She closed her eyes against the burning tears that flooded them. "I cannot express my gratitude enough." Her voice caught.

He lifted her hand and kissed the back.

"Why would you risk your life in such a way?" she asked. "You didn't even know me when first you took me from Holme."

Colin was silent for a long moment. "When Anna and Neacal spoke of you… when they told me what had happened to you in the past, about your injuries and what Blackburn had done to you, I simply wanted to help."

"You pitied me as everyone else does."

"Nay. 'Twas the opposite, in fact. I admired your mettle. A lesser woman would not have survived what you have. You have amazing strength of spirit."

"No more amazing than you. Look at what you risked for me."

The door opened and the footsteps of two people entered.

"I've returned," Anna said in a bright tone. "And I've brought Neacal with me. You said you wished to meet him, officially."

"Aye." Kristina's face burned, for she looked so disheveled. Surely she should be upright and composed when meeting a chief.

"'Tis a pleasure to meet you, Lady Kristina." Neacal took her hand into his roughened one and kissed the back. "Are you feeling better?" he asked in a deep voice with a Western Highlands accent much like Colin's.

"Wonderful to meet you, chief. I still have pain but 'tis not as bad."

"I'm glad. And please call me Neacal."

"I will, if you will call me Kristina. I understand we will soon be family… when you marry my sister."

"Indeed, and I look forward to it."

"Why do you wish to marry her?"

In the moment of silence, Kristina realized her question must have startled Neacal. But in the absence of their parents or any other family member, she was the only one left to make certain he would be a good husband to her sister.

"Truth be told, Anna first enchanted me and drew me under her spell with her song," Neacal said. "And now… she is my life. I know not if I could survive without her."

Kristina heard the adoration in his deep, soulful voice and it touched her profoundly. Neacal's love for Anna was palpable and obvious within the room's atmosphere. She had never realized she could feel such a thing before, between others.

"I am happy for you both," she said, closing her eyes against the tears.

"We would like for you to stay here at Bearach Castle with us, if you wish it," Neacal said.

Her tears welled faster. "I thank you. You're incredibly generous." But what if they found her to be a great burden?

 

***

 

Kristina's tears ripped at Colin's heart. He could see how appreciative and touched she was to be welcomed to stay here indefinitely. But something gnawed at him. He could not see her staying here. Instead, he only saw her by his side. Would she be interested? Would she want to leave her sister again and live with him at Rhodie Castle? Would his clan approve of her as his wife? His gut instinct told him that his father would not like the idea. He wanted Colin to marry an important chief's daughter and form a clan alliance.

Kristina's blindness did not bother him at all, but he could well imagine his clan might have reservations.

"Colin?" Neacal's voice brought him out of his deep thoughts. His friend waited near the door.

He lifted Kristina's hand and kissed it. "I will see you in the morn, Lady Kristina."

"Very well, and thank you again. Good night."

"Good night." He bowed to Anna and followed Neacal out and along the dim corridor. "I could use a sip or two of whisky." Colin suspected he might have a difficult time putting Kristina from his mind this night.

"I have plenty." Once in the solar, Neacal poured two small glasses of whisky. "'Tis clear to me you're smitten with the lass."

"Mayhap." Colin saw no point in denying it. His insightful friend would spot any half-truths he told anyway.

Neacal grinned, offering him the glass.

"Slàinte mhaith," they exchanged in toast.

Colin sipped the fiery liquid and let it trickle slowly down his throat. "Her tears rip my heart out. I cannot withstand it."

"I know what you mean. I'm compelled to give Anna anything she wants. Her happiness is more important than mine own."

"Aye, we risked our lives for them and would again," Colin said.

"Indeed. So… will you ask Lady Kristina to marry you?"

 

***

 

The next morn, after Colin had gotten little sleep, that monumental question was still burning in his mind—would he ask Kristina to marry him? Hell, he wanted to, but many things made him hesitate. First, he had to figure out whether she would accept without actually asking her. What if she didn't wish to marry, and instead wanted to stay with her sister? What if, God forbid, she rejected him just as his former fiancée had?

Kristina truly did astound him. He wished to get to know her better, but something held him back. He sensed something was holding her back, too. It came through in some of her snippy comments, as if she were trying to push him away. But after that, she couldn't prevent her true self from emerging.

After breaking their fast, he, Neacal, the MacKenzies, and some of the other men went out searching for Tom Thorburn and Patrick Cameron, his two clansmen Holme and his cronies had ambushed days ago. Colin had sent some men to search for them after they had arrived back the day before, but no one had been able to find them.

Gray, leaden clouds drifted low over the loch, the pine forest and the rugged landscape as if the rain might begin at any moment.

When they were deeper in the wood, Neacal's brown wolfhound, Dunn, stuck his nose in the air, drew in several whiffs, then sprang forward at a lope. The men followed at a brisk pace, scrambling over the rocks and rough terrain, struggling to keep up with the long-legged, shaggy animal. A sinking feeling of dread lodged into Colin's stomach.

A few minutes later, they found the bodies, covered by leaves and pine needles, hidden in a shallow ravine in the wood. Even though Colin had known, deep down, that they were dead, a merciless mixture of anguish and fury slammed into him.

"Bastard!" Colin growled. "Holme will pay for this."

"Blackburn taught him well," Neacal muttered.

"Or maybe his father did. To think, Holme had Kristina captured and at his mercy for hours. He could've killed her so easily." Latent fear for Kristina rose up and gored him.

Neacal clasped his shoulder, gaining his attention. His sharp blue gaze speared through the dark haze of angst and rage. "But he didn't kill her. You saved her life."

'Twas true. He couldn't allow Holme's evil deeds to drown his rationality. "I couldn't have done it without all the men you sent who helped."

Neacal nodded. "She's safe now."

"Aye." Colin had to keep telling himself that. "But from now on I will have to be on my guard until Holme is either dead or imprisoned."

 

***

 

Later that day, they held funerals and burials for his two fallen clansmen.

Afterward, Colin bathed, needing to wash the death and destruction from his body and mind. Though he soaked in the wooden tub before the fireplace in his room until the water grew cold and the room darkened, gloom still hung over him, and he felt sullied by the lingering thoughts of Red Holme's evil.

He needed to see Kristina. If he could only talk to her for a few minutes, she would lighten his soul. He shoved himself from the tub, dried off and dressed in a clean shirt and belted plaid.

He had looked in on her earlier, but she'd been sleeping. He hoped that meant she was recovering quickly. 'Twas almost time for supper to be served, but he would visit her first. He looked forward to the time when she would be well enough to join them in the great hall for meals.

At her chamber door, he knocked.

Anna opened it. She smiled and turned back to the bed. "You have a handsome visitor, Kristina."

Colin felt his face heating. Hell, since when did he blush? He was no green lad.

"I thank you." He bowed, and when his gaze lit on Kristina's face, he found she was blushing, too. As well, she was sitting up in the bed, leaning back against pillows. Her golden hair had been washed and brushed. Some of her curls had been braided into a beautiful style. If not for the horrific bruise on her cheek, she would've looked like a princess.

"You ladies are both exceptionally lovely this eve."

"Such flattery will gain you many smiles," Anna said. "Right, Kristina?"

Her blush deepened and she grinned, magnifying her beauty a hundredfold. "Aye."

"Would you mind keeping her company while I dress for supper?" Anna asked him.

"'Twould be my pleasure." And the reason he'd come here.

"I must also scribe a missive to Aunt Matilda and Uncle Gilbert in Stirling, letting them know we're both all right. Neacal said he would have one of his messengers deliver it."

"Oh, how I miss them. Tell them I love them," Kristina said.

"I will." Anna exited, leaving the door ajar.

"You look near recovered, Kristina. Do you feel better?" The chair squeaked as Colin sat down in it. The wooden chair legs scraped over the floor as he dragged it closer to the bed. Kristina was glad. She wanted him as near as possible.

"Aye." She did feel better, especially now that he was here. "The herbal tea and cool compresses have helped. The pain is gradually going away."

"Thank the saints." He took her hand into his big, warm one. She squeezed his fingers, enjoying his strength, thankful for his presence. She wished he would never leave her side. Wished he would always be close enough to touch her. He instantly brought a calm peacefulness over her. But she could not become too attached to him, she reminded herself.

"Have you been eating?" he asked.

"Anna is making sure of it. She near pours the broth down my throat."

He blew out a breath of a snicker. "She's a good sister. With her care and Tavia's you will be up and around in no time. Hopefully, soon, you will be eating in the great hall with us."

She nodded, something far less pleasant coming to mind. Something she'd been mulling over for a couple of hours. "Anna told me about the funeral for your two clansmen. I'm so sorry for your loss and I feel horrible they were killed while protecting me."

"Nay, do not feel bad," he said in a compassionate tone. "They loved being soldiers and guards, and they considered it an honor to help rescue you."

Tears sprang to her eyes as she imagined such good men losing their lives to the brutal Holme.

"Please don't blame yourself." Colin stroked his thumb over her palm. "They would not wish you to do that."

She nodded and swallowed, trying to force the constriction away from her throat. "Will you take me to their graves, so I might place flowers there and thank them?"

"Of course, my sweet, if you wish it."

"In a few days, when I feel better."

"Aye. They would be honored, and I'm sure they already ken of your gratitude."

For the next quarter hour, he told her amusing stories of Thorburn's and Patrick's exploits and adventures. She knew he was trying to brighten her mood. But she was also saddened that the two couldn't have any more adventures. This brought to mind Ralston, the guard who had helped her on her journey here.

"Do you know if Ralston was killed in the battle?" she asked.

"Who?"

"I think I mentioned before… Ralston was one of Blackburn's guards who protected me from Holme during our travels here."

"I have no inkling if he survived. I could ask Neacal, but I would need a visual description."

Her heart sank. "Aye. And I don't know what he looked like. I would have to identify him by his voice."

"Did you… become close to him?"

"He treated me like a sister. Even though he worked for Blackburn, he seemed a good man."

"If I find out anything, I'll let you know."

The door creaked open. "Supper is being served, Sir Colin," Tavia said. A food tray clattered onto a nearby table.

"Aye." He stood, his chair making a creaking sound. "Lady Kristina, would you like to accompany me to the great hall?"

"Mayhap tomorrow. I'm not certain I'm able now. But I hope you enjoy your meal."

When he kissed the back of her hand, she relished the feel of his warm, sensual lips on her skin. Heat rushed over her, and she wished his lips were caressing hers instead.

"I will see you later, then," he said.

When he exited, she felt bereft and alone, even though Tavia was there, handing her a chunk of bread.

"Sir Colin is a handsome lad," Tavia said.

"Aye, he is."

Tavia snickered. "And how did you figure this out?"

"Anna told me, but even before that, I knew or sensed it." She didn't want to tell Tavia that she'd traced her fingers over Colin's face. Surely that was too intimate. But she wished to do it again. It seemed forever since the nights she'd slept in Colin's arms, even though it had only been a couple of days. Those two times were all it had taken for her to become accustomed to his touch and sleeping well-protected against his warm, strong body. She craved that feeling. When might she get to sleep beside him again?

 

***

 

Red Holme rode east through the Highlands, leading his two remaining men, Dobson and Scroggie. Damn Cameron and his men for killing Mungo at the campsite. Where had Cameron gotten so many men in a few hours' time? There had to have been over a dozen.

Holme glanced around at the dull-gray granite mountains, having no inkling where he was. Finally, the rugged mountains gave way to gentler rust-colored, bracken-clothed hills. Aye, this area was starting to look familiar. He had been here over a decade ago, and 'twas not far to Rhodie Castle.

When he thought of how the Cameron clan had stolen his birthright, fury gnawed at him, making him more determined than ever for vengeance.

Rhodie Castle had been held by the MacKillican clan for generations, given to his direct ancestor by King James II for loyalty and service. Why should the Camerons have it now, given to them by King James VI? 'Twas true that his da had refused to appear before the king or pay the exorbitant fine levied against him. And finally his da had killed the king's representative who'd come to put him in his place, but 'twas naught more than the man deserved.

'Twas all in the past. At present, if Holme couldn't have Rhodie Castle, neither would the Camerons.

Although Holme was outnumbered, as he always had been, that wouldn't matter, for he was going to use new tactics. He would pick off the Camerons one by one if he had to, until he downed Chief Cameron himself, the man who was responsible for his father's death. And of course, he would execute Colin Cameron, too.

Finally, Holme and his men crested a familiar hill and he spied Rhodie Castle in the distance, gleaming pale against the golden-brown, bracken-covered hills.

He was home, finally, after all these years. More than anything, I want to reclaim it for you, Da. But since King James would never allow him to hold it, he would at least ensure the thieves did not live to enjoy it. Then, his father would no longer see him as a weak coward. His father would be proud of him.

Making certain no one spied them, Holme and his two men gradually moved closer to the castle and sat amid the bushes and trees, watching the closed portcullis. Sooner or later, a Cameron would step out.