Mark

When I woke up the next morning in Landon’s arms, the sun was peeking through the blinds and I could hear birds singing outside. I felt like a total cliché, waking up feeling like my life was brand new after having had amazing sex the night before. But it was true. I'd never felt so good in my entire life.

But then when I thought about all the guys at working finding out—not about me and Landon, but about the fact that I was pregnant—I felt that anxiety building up in my stomach again. And when I thought about the captain finding out, and the idea of not being able to continue on the force after the baby was born … I just couldn’t do it. No matter how much I knew it would hurt Landon, I didn’t want anyone to find out. About the baby … or about us.

If only I could lay here in Landon’s arms for the rest of my life, then all of my worries would be gone. But that wasn’t even remotely possible, or what I really wanted, anyway. Because, in all of this, what I was most scared of was that this pregnancy, and being an omega, would take my identity away. I’d become a stay-at-home dad and a homemaker, and I’d lose every ounce of respect from my co-workers and friends.

Everything I’d worked so hard for all my life would disappear the minute they found out I was an omega.

I glanced down at Landon as I slipped out of bed. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t stay. Not yet, anyway. I wrote him a quick note, and while he was still snoring and dead to the world, I left it on my pillow and slipped out of the house.

I walked down the street a bit, trying to decide what I should do. I knew Landon was right about me going to see my brother. I really did look up to him and wanted his advice, but I was terrified of him figuring out what was going on with me. But seeing him now would be better than later. If I waited much longer, I’d be showing too much to be able to blame it on one too many servings of chicken pot pie. So, I Ubered home to get cleaned up and change my clothes.

When I got in the shower I scrubbed my body with the pheromone-suppressant body wash twice. I knew being around alphas was tricky, and that eventually there’d be no way for me to disguise my scent, but I had to pray that I could pull it off for now. Especially since I was planning on going to see my brother, who was a full-blown alpha. I hoped I could fool him long enough to get some information.

I walked into the fertility and birth clinic where my brother was head physician. He’d thrilled our parents by graduating from medical school at the top of his class. He had his pick of prestigious hospitals to choose from when he finished his residency, but instead, he chose a birth clinic in this low-income part of town. Our parents would still brag about his accomplishments, even though they both asked him repeatedly when he would take a job at a real hospital.

But no matter what he did, our parents practically gushed about my brother. The fact that he was a doctor, an alpha, and was older than me all seemed to be things they couldn’t stop using to compare the two of us. It made my high school years almost unbearable, having to live under his sterling reputation.

My plan all along had been to become a cop after high school. I thought maybe that would finally be something my parents could be proud of, that they would brag to their friends about me for once. But before I started at the academy, they both died in a car accident. So, they never saw me graduate or even start at the academy. I was sure if they saw me now, an omega with a baby on the way, they’d be more ashamed than ever.

Their big, tough son … the omega.

I walked up to the reception desk and recognized Trent, one of the male omega nurses I’d seen many times before, but strangely I’d never paid as much attention to him as I did today. Now that I was changing … or had already changed, actually … I was suddenly more attuned to behavioral traits of the people around me.

Identifying myself as a very masculine beta was something that had given me a luxury that I’d never been aware of until now. It had made me almost completely oblivious to the mannerisms in the different statuses around me. I realized now that, when I was a beta, I basically saw what I wanted to see, and I heard what I wanted to hear, without having any understanding at all about how my behavior affected those around me.

I would blow through a room and disregard certain people, barely glancing at them or listening to what they had to say, because of how I perceived them. Not very open-minded behavior for a cop, or a human being for that matter. And definitely not very thorough.

I knew a lot of alphas perceived the world pretty much the same way, and I could see now that I had been trying to emulate alpha behavior in order to fit in. To be more like my brother and the other alphas I respected. But now that I was an omega, I was starting to see the world a little differently. And comparing myself to the way other omegas behaved was where I seemed to be starting.

Before I even approached the reception desk I could see how open and welcoming Trent was. He seemed to naturally put everyone at ease and create a comforting atmosphere. I wondered if that's what was going to happen to me. For some reason, in the back of my mind, that sort of behavior still screamed ‘doormat’ to me. Even though I knew it wasn’t true.

"Hi Mark,” Trent said with the big smile. "I haven't seen you in here for quite a while. It's always nice to have you visit the clinic, especially with everything that's been going on."

"Hey, Trent," I said. "You mean with all the fertility clinics being under attacked?”

"Yeah, it's been horrible," Trent said. "It's getting so I’m afraid to come into work anymore. Just having you here makes me feel a hundred times better."

"Really?" I asked, hoping to God I wasn’t already giving off some sort of omega comfort vibes. “Did something happen here?”

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s nice to have a big strong man like you around to protect us in case anything happens," Trent said, with what appeared to be a bat of his eyelashes.

I laughed and looked down at the desk, then ran my fingers through my hair. I was a little surprised—but also incredibly relieved—that he was flirting with me. I’d never really noticed him doing anything like that before, most likely because I’d never been particularly attracted to him. He always seemed like the kind of omega that wanted to get pregnant immediately, and I made sure to steer clear of those types.

“Well, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. So far, they’ve only done their work at night, and no one’s been injured. They seem to be more interested in making some kind of statement than killing anyone. But we’re gonna catch them soon, I promise.” I smiled and noticed that he was still staring at me with incredibly dilated pupils. I guess that body wash stuff really worked because he didn’t seem to be able to detect anything different. “So, is my brother around?"

"Yes, he's in his office. He doesn't have anything in his schedule now, so you can go right in."

"Thanks, Trent. Catch you later.” I headed down the hall to my brother's office and knocked before opening the door.

“Mark! How’s it going?” he asked from behind a massive pile of files on his desk. “What are you doing here?" He stood up and walked around the desk, then gave me a hug. I stiffened up and stepped back quickly so that the hug was more of a bro slap. I was sure he’d notice my scent change, but he didn’t seem to be acting any differently toward me. After I took another step backward, he told me to take a seat. Then he loosened his tie a bit as he walked back around his desk and sat down in a black leather chair.

"That's quite a pile you’ve got there,” I said, gesturing to the charts in front of him. "You must really be backed up."

"Yeah, well, with all of the other clinics going up in flames lately, this is one of the only fertility and birth clinics left on this side of town that’s fully functioning. It's horrible what's been going on. Thankfully no one's been killed in any of these arson attacks, but whoever it is that’s starting these fires is causing a lot of problems for everyone."

“Well, we’re doing the best we can to find out who’s responsible."

“Do you guys have any idea if this is a few fringe lunatics? Or a large group with some kind of agenda?”

“It does seem to be some sort of organized group. We’ve got a whole team working on it. Landon and I have been out on a couple calls recently that seem to be related. It’s hard to say, though, because every time we catch a few of them and think we’ve made some headway, even more pop out of the woodwork. We still don’t know who’s heading up this organization. But one theory is it’s an anti-abortion group.”

“Why would they be targeting birth and fertility clinics then? We help all kinds of people here. Don't they realize how many other services besides abortion they’re cutting off?”

“Well, some people think that their beliefs are the only ones that matter. Who knows why they can’t—or don’t want to—see the bigger picture. But, hey, keep this all to yourself, Stephen. The captain hasn’t released a statement yet.”

“No problem. So, have they narrowed it down to a specific group?”

“Not yet. There’s another theory that it has something to do with all the changes that have been happening in the last decade. With beta males turning into omegas as late as their twenties. They think that shutting down the omega fertility clinics is the answer somehow.”

“You’re joking,” he said. “That’s insane. Like anyone has a choice in that. Besides, it’s been going on a lot longer than ten years, or even twenty. According to my research, this trend has been steadily increasing for almost forty years now. It doesn't make any sense that they would try to revolt against these changes at this point. Especially since omega males are the only option for natural birth anymore.”

“Yeah, well, that's why we think the group is most likely a bunch of fanatics, regardless of their actual reasoning behind what they’re doing. They’ve got their own agenda—whatever it is—and they haven’t exactly given it out to anyone yet. We’ve got round-the-clock patrol set up at all the remaining clinics so hopefully, we won't have any more fires.”

As I talked to my brother, it occurred to me that the way I’d been thinking about the changes in my own body wasn’t much different, and that thought kind of scared me. My reaction to my own changes was painting a really unflattering picture of how I’d seen omegas, or how empathetic I was to other points of view. I might as well have been setting fires all these years for all the good my ignorant behavior did to help with omega rights. The very rights I was concerned with now.

“That’s good to hear,” my brother said, thankfully snapping me out of my spiraling mind. “And by the way, how’s Landon? I haven’t seen him in a long time. Does he still have that awesome house on the West side?”

“Yeah, he still lives there. He’s doing good. But the reason I’m here is … I have this other friend … from work. He’s going through some changes that he wasn’t expecting and he has a lot of questions. I told him I’d ask you since you’ve done all that research.”

“Yeah, sure. What does he want to know?”

“Well, for one, are these changes that happen final? Do they ever reverse themselves?”

“No, not from any of the evidence I’ve seen. Once the alpha or omega status has been achieved, that’s pretty much it. From what the research shows, beta status seems to be a more flexible state than alpha or omega. From what we can tell, in a beta, all statuses are available, but only one is expressed. And it seems, in the case of this virus or whatever it is, that the alpha and omega status are the more inflexible, permanent statuses. So, once the change from beta to omega is made, the flexibility, so to speak, is gone.”

“So why is it that the change is only beta to omega? Never beta to alpha?”

“We’re still not sure about that. It seems to correlate somehow with the female population becoming sterile. It’s been fifty years and we’re still not sure what caused that to happen. But that’s where most of the research has been concentrated in the last decade or so. The most obvious answer is that the new omegas seem to be taking the place of the once-fertile female betas and omegas, but how it’s happening, we don’t know.”

“So continuation of the species, I guess. But they have no idea why it all started in the first place? Why females became infertile?”

“Well, there are many theories. Some say it was caused by a virus—some sort of undetected pandemic—and some say it was the cumulative effects of the toxins in our atmosphere and food. But nothing’s been proven conclusively. It’s still a mystery. So how is your friend doing? How is he handling the change?”

“Oh, fine, I guess,” I said, looking down at my hands. I hated lying, but I was nowhere near ready to accept what was going on, let alone to tell my brother the truth. “He’s worried that … I guess that his whole personality is going to change. That he’s basically going to become a different person.”

“That’s understandable,” Stephen said. “Especially considering how much emphasis our culture puts on these roles: alpha, omega, and beta. The stereotypes don’t leave much room for variation, unfortunately. But, no, that’s not going to happen.”

“What do you mean? How do you know that?”

“Well, the changes are happening on a hormonal and biological level, and those things can influence behavior to a certain extent. But who a person is—who they’ve become throughout their life—there’s a million things that can and do influence that.”

“You mean nature vs nurture? That sort of thing?”

“Exactly. You and I are brothers, we come from the same gene pool, and the same home environment, but many different things that happened throughout our lives that have caused us to become who we are. Plus, when we were born, we took different things from our parents that became our own, specific genetic makeup. If it were just up to hormones to determine our personalities, then we’d probably all be robots. Every alpha would behave like an alpha, as well as omegas, and betas. What makes each person unique is every moment, every thought, everything that’s happened to them throughout their lives, as well as their specific genetic makeup. And changing from beta to omega isn’t going to erase all that.”

“So, you’re saying, the person who turns from a beta to an omega, they remain pretty much the same person they were before?”

“Yes. They are the same person. The physical changes don’t cause them to become someone else. Some of their desires and the way they view the world may change, but being able to see from a different perspective is arguably a good thing. I think it would actually benefit everyone to be able to live a day in another status’s shoes. Especially people who believe all those ridiculous stereotypes.”

“Yeah,” I said. I was pretty embarrassed by the fact that I was one of those people. Or at least had been. I was trying to see things differently, but it was hard when I was still stuck in a society that banned omegas from working certain jobs. I didn’t want to be an example of progress and change in our new society. I didn’t want to be the revolutionary omega that picketed at the front of his precinct over unfair hiring practices. I just wanted everything to be normal. As normal as they could be for a pregnant cop, anyway.

“Does your … friend have any other questions? Like physical changes? Things like that?”

“Physical changes? What do you mean?”

“You know, penis size. That’s usually the main concern. That the penis will shrink or disappear entirely.”

“Oh man,” I said, my throat drying up. “I didn’t even think … I mean … that didn’t come up when we talked. I’m sure my friend would be interested in that information, though. Does it … change?”

“You can tell your friend there’s nothing to worry about in that department. There have never been any recorded changes in the male anatomy in a twenty-something male who has gone from beta to omega after puberty. His penis will stay the same size.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I’ll be sure and tell him that,” I said, sitting back in the chair and taking a deep breath. I had been able to relax when I was at Landon’s, but hearing this from my brother somehow removed a whole layer of worry that had been welling up inside me. I didn’t know who I was worried I was going to turn into, but I was relieved to hear that my true self wouldn’t disappear. Not to mention my cock. “So, how’s your love life?” I asked, trying to change the subject as nonchalantly as possible.

"Not great. Jamie and I broke up."

"Oh man, how come? I thought you guys were really happy together. The last time I saw you, you were talking about starting a family with him."

"Yeah, well, that was before he came home with his boss’s scent all over him. He didn't even try to clean up first. He walked into the house reeking of alpha pheromones and their mating scent. I almost threw up when I smelled it, but I booted him out on the street instead.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. But I'm glad you got rid of him. You deserve a lot better than that. So, are you officially back on the market now?"

“Eh, I’m taking my time. I think I need a bit of a break. But it is funny you should show up. I’ve been thinking about asking you a favor.”

“What?”

“Do you think you could set something up between me and Landon? Maybe a double date so it’s not too uncomfortable for anyone? You know, kinda mellow. Low key. No Pressure.”

“Seriously? You’re thinking you’d want to date him?” In the five years I’d know Landon, I’d never heard my brother express any interest in him. And now that things were working out for me, of course, he was interested in my mate. But that was silly. There was no way for him to know anything about me and Landon.

“Yeah, it was just a thought,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve always kinda had a thing for him.”

“He’s an alpha, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. That doesn’t matter to me.”

“But what about kids. I thought you wanted to have lots.”

“Well, there are other options, Mark. There’s adoption and surrogacy. Two alphas can raise a child just fine, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m surprised to hear that, is all.”

“I could do a nice, big barbecue and have you two over. Then you bring someone for you and bring Landon for me,” he said with a laugh. “Is there anyone special in your life right now?”

“Is there ever?” I asked, hoping my face wasn’t giving anything away. I didn’t seem to be able to lie to my brother very well. Ever since we were kids I felt like he could see right through me, and I’d been lying through my teeth since I sat down. I felt like I was skating on thin ice and should get the hell out of there soon before he figured everything out. “Nah, there’s no one special. Not right now, anyway.”

“Well, see if you can set something up. Maybe he'd even have us over. He's got that amazing backyard and a huge grill. That guy really has some good taste."

"Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do.” I stood up and made my way toward the door. “I don’t know if he's gonna be up for it with all the craziness that’s been going on lately, but I'll check."

“Great. See you later, Mark. And you’ll let me know if you need anything, won’t you?” Stephen grabbed my arm and stopped me from going through the doorway. “Anything at all, Mark.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said slipping out into the hall without looking back. “See ya.”

As I walked down the hallway and out the front entrance of the hospital, I wondered what that last thing Stephen said was about. Did he know I was talking about myself? But if he knew, wouldn’t he have said something?

I drove away with one question answered, but two new ones that weighed on my mind. Did my brother know I was an omega and was he after my mate?