I wanted to sleep the next few days away.

Raisa had told me to take the rest of the week off after I’d called her and told her about the bombs planted at the house. If I needed more time, she’d told me, I just needed to let her know. I didn’t want to take any time away, but I knew, logically, I had to take it.

My body hurt, and my head ached, and my heart was a bleeding open wound.

The west wing of the house was pretty much gone. The wing’s outer walls were still mostly intact, but that was it. So many memories, all gone. The bomb squad had found another bomb on the east wing, but it hadn’t gone off, and they’d been able to defuse and dismantle it.

I’d talked to my brothers and my dad at the hospital. I hadn’t wanted to, but the time for avoidance was over.

“This isn’t an ultimatum, although I know you’ll see it that way. But I can’t live like this. If you want to stay involved in…whatever, then so be it. But if that’s the case, I won’t be part of your lives anymore.”

They’d all got rigidly pale.

“It’s not that easy to just stop.” Sean had looked at me with wounded, betrayed eyes.

“Think your wife would be okay with that excuse if she’d been at the police station, listening to the cops as they explained how you’d died earlier today?”

He’d flinched.

Dad had reached out and patted his knee. “It’s time, Sean. It will be complicated, but we’ll make it work.”

Only Declan hadn’t reacted.

I didn’t want to think about what his silence might mean.

I didn’t really want to think about anything. I just wanted to sleep.

The sound of the doorbell had me freezing. Instinctively, I knew who it was. I hadn’t seen Cormac since Declan had quietly urged me into my car earlier.

Somehow, the sleek red beast had survived the blast, although it would need a new paint job. Declan’s car was probably toast—something heavy had slammed down on the front end with enough force that the hood had caved in.

The doorbell rang again. Closing my eyes, I shoved my hands through my hair and finally made a decision. I walked through the house, every muscle aching.

Peeking through the window, I found Cormac standing out there just as I’d expected. I’d been told to give the cops a list of people to pre-clear, and without thinking, I’d included him. Maybe I shouldn’t have. If I hadn’t, the cop sitting out front would have stopped him as he called up to the house to clear Cormac in. I could have sent Cormac away without even talking to him.

Coward, I chided myself.

Heaving out a sigh, I opened the door and studied him through the screen door.

His eyes searched my face, flicked to my hair, then slid down to study my body. There wasn’t anything sexual in the look. He looked like he was taking stock, looking for injuries he might have missed…injuries he feared I might have hidden.

Finally, his gaze returned to mine. “Can I come in?”

It would be easier if I just told him no and closed the door.

I didn’t though.

I unlocked the screen door and turned away, going into the kitchen. The various aches in my body and my very exhaustion led me to the medicine Raisa had prescribed a few hours ago. I’d opted to drive to my own ED instead of going to the nearest one that my father and brothers would have chosen. They’d ended up following me.

Grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen, I popped it open and shook a couple of tablets out, then got one of the muscle relaxers that Raisa had suggested I take for the next few days. “These meds might make me sleepy. I’m sore and exhausted, and I need them.”

“Okay.” He sounded oddly subdued.

Not looking at him, I washed the pills down, then filled the glass with more water and half-emptied it. My throat still felt half-raw. I figured it was from the smoke and soot I’d inhaled.

Turning to look at him, I met his eyes.

“I take it you’ve been talking to the cops.”

“Yeah.” He jammed his hands into his pockets. “I…hell. I told them what I knew.”

“Including the fact that you’d been hired to spy on me?” I challenged.

He met my gaze levelly. “Yes. Including that.”

The admission surprised me so much that I almost dropped the glass I held. Looking away from him, I blew out a tired breath, then lifted my eyes to the ceiling. “My dad will find out. So will Declan, Sean…and Brooks. They’ll be furious.”

“They should be,” he bit off.

Slanting a look at him, I watched as he started to pace. “I had no idea Marcos would do something this crazy. None. I thought he just wanted to take a few jabs at your father. I didn’t think he planned on killing anybody.”

“And if you’d known?”

He stopped mid-stride, slowly lowering his booted foot. He turned to face me, and we stared at each other. “I don’t kill for anybody,” he said softly.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know.” He blew out a harsh, ragged breath. “I…hell. I don’t know what to say, Briar. Maybe if it had been anybody else, I would have stayed quiet. But you changed things for me. I didn’t want you or your family to get hurt.”

“Did you know about Brooks? About my friend, Frankie?”

“No.” Dull red colored his cheeks as he averted his glance. “If I had, I would have done something to stop it.”

“Out of the goodness of your heart?” I asked caustically.

“No. Because I knew it would hurt you and knowing that you’ve been hurt…” He reached up and rubbed the heel of his hand over his chest. “It’s…that’s the last thing I ever wanted, Briar. I know you probably don’t believe me. But I never wanted you to get hurt.”

Naked emotion shown in his eyes as he stared at me.

Tears blurred my vision. “Why should I believe anything you say to me, Cormac? How can I?”

“You can’t,” he replied, the words ragged. “I just…fuck. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. And…”

He lapsed into silence, and after a few seconds, I darted a look at him. He rubbed his hands over his face. As if sensing my attention, he dropped his hands and met my eyes once more.

“I love you,” he said, the words coming out husky and rough.

The bottom of my stomach dropped out.

He clenched one hand into a fist, still standing on the far side of the room. “I don’t expect you to believe me or forgive me, but I had to tell you, at least once. I love you, and knowing that I’ve hurt you, hurt your family, it’s like a big, raw void in my chest…and that’s my own damn fault. I just…”

I didn’t realize I’d closed the distance between us until the heat of his body reached out to warm mine. I’d been cold for hours, a bone-deep chill that had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with what would have happened if Cormac hadn’t been there to warn us.

Reaching out, I laid my hand on his cheek.

He went silent and laid his palm over my hand, staring down at me.

The expression in his eyes stunned me, laid me bare.

Taut moments passed. The hurt girl inside me insisted I tell him to leave, to just get out.

But the rest of me was spellbound by the look in his eyes.

“I don’t trust you,” I said, forcing the words out. My throat was so tight and raw, it hurt to speak, and it wasn’t just because of the smoke inhalation. “I can’t trust you. Not right now.”

Something flickered in his eyes and fine lines tightened at the corners.

“But…” I drew in a deep breath. “I hurt when you’re not with me. I’m lonely without you. I’ve never really been lonely before…then you came into my life.”

“Briar…”

I pressed my thumb to his lips, silencing him. “It’s hard to even remember not having you in my life, and it’s only been a couple of months. Angry as I am, hurt as I am…I don’t want to go back to what was. I can’t go back to it. I love you, Cormac.”

A shaken look crossed his face, and the hand covering mine was now clutching it. He moved, and in an instant, he had me pressed up against him, his arm banded tight around my waist. “Briar…”

Then he kissed me.

It was desperate and deep and wet.

Rising up on my toes, I shoved my hands into his hair and clung to him. The anger and hurt still burned inside, but the need was stronger. Love was the strongest of all, and I whimpered as he shoved my shirt up and palmed my breast. I’d already changed into a cami and pajama pants, so my skin was bare. The heat of his hand was shocking, and I moaned into his mouth.

He moved, holding me in his arms. Seconds later, he had me sitting on the table. Breaking away from me, he stripped my shirt, then my pants away. I sagged backward onto my elbows as he went to his knees, pressing a line of kisses up my thigh, moving closer and closer to my core. I moaned as he flicked his tongue against my clit. Again and again, until I was rocking up to meet him, seeking a deeper contact.

He gave it to me, shifting lower and thrusting his tongue into my pussy. Shoving my hands into his hair, I clutched him closer.

He worked me straight into a hard orgasm, and once he had me panting and shivering in the aftermath, he stood up and tore at the button of his jeans. There was no time to catch my breath before he caught my thighs, spread me wide. I gasped, the sound giving way to a choking cry as he filled me, hot, hard, and thick. My fingers scrabbled for something to cling to, but the table’s smooth surface offered little purchase. Finally, I gripped the edge and levered up to meet him as best as I could.

Cormac’s head had fallen back, the muscles standing out in stark relief.

I wanted to see his eyes, fall into that dark, warm depth. “Cormac…”

He straightened and focused his gaze on me, a faint smile tipping up one corner of his mouth. He hooked his hands around my shoulders and pulled me up, pivoting so that he rested his hips on the table. I closed my legs around his hips. His hands went to my butt, guiding me. My hair fell around my face as I pressed my brow to his.

“I love you,” I whispered, staring into his eyes.

He bit my lower lip gently. “I love you. So much.”

The hunger that had been so desperate, so jagged and sharp, softened, and I rocked against him slowly, the two of us lost in each other.

When the orgasm came, it was a slow, inexorable build-up that filled me so incredibly full, I thought I’d die from the pleasure before it managed to spill out.

Cormac tangled his hand in my hair, swallowing my cry.

Deep inside, I felt his cock jerk as he climaxed.

Tightening my arms around his neck, I buried my face against his shoulder. “Take me to bed,” I whispered in his ear. “Let’s forget about everything for a little while longer.”