I actually slept surprisingly well. I’d fallen asleep in the corner of the couch, and at some point during the night, Anneke must have come in and covered me with a blanket. She’d also left a pillow on the couch for me.

I didn’t remember her doing either, but I did remember waking up and stumbling to the bathroom. When I stumbled back out, I immediately stretched out and all but wrapped myself in the blanket, burying my face in the pillow.

After that, I remembered nothing until Anneke woke me just before six.

My mind still hazy with sleep, I pushed upright and accepted her offering of coffee. “It’s too early.”

“It’s always too early for you until you’ve had coffee,” she told me.

“True.” I took a sip, then one more, relishing the warmth.

“Here.”

Anneke held out her hand, palm extended.

She had a key in her hand. Slowly, I accepted it.

“You can lock up when you go,” she told me. “Keep the key, in case you ever need a place to crash.” She shrugged and looked around. “It’s not much, but if you need to get away…”

Emotion burned in my eyes at her generosity and caring. “Thank you.”

She nodded and rose. “I’ve got to get going. The drive to Green Valley is a bitch.” She gave me a quick hug. “You know where the bathroom is. If you need to borrow any of my stuff, go ahead.”

She grabbed her coat and swung it on, waving at me from the door.

She was gone a moment later.

I took a few more minutes to relish the coffee, then taking Anneke at her word, I ducked into the small shower and washed up. I emerged feeling a little more alert, although not by much. There was enough coffee in the pot for one more cup, and I practically scalded my tongue hurrying my way through it so I wouldn’t be late for work.

I skipped breakfast. Not just because I didn’t have time, but because I had no desire to eat.

Taking care to lock up behind me, I trudged through the damp, wet snow and climbed into my car. Less than an inch covered the roads, and I knew even that would be gone on the main thoroughfares. But it would be enough to make the commute all sorts of fun.

“Welcome to winter,” I mumbled to myself.

I turned on the radio and blasted it. There wasn’t anything I particularly wanted to listen to, but I hoped the noise would be enough to drown out my own thoughts.

Particularly, thoughts of Cormac.

It was a long, boring day.

Usually, any kind of precipitation led to craziness in local emergency departments, but the few fender benders that brought any business our way were all minor.

I wasn’t complaining, exactly.

I definitely didn’t want people getting hurt just so I’d have something to keep my mind occupied.

It was just that, of all the days for there to be next to nothing going on, it would be today, when I was trying so hard to stay outside my head.

I’d just about started doing card tricks for the patients to keep myself occupied. Of course, I didn’t know any card tricks, and I couldn’t even look any up because, assuming I could learn any, I didn’t have any cards.

Story of my life.

Come lunchtime, I retreated to the hospital cafeteria rather than the doctors’ lounge.

I didn’t want to talk to anybody, and I’d made enough friends to know if I sat in the lounge, somebody would definitely ask if I was okay. I wasn’t a good enough liar to convince anybody I was even remotely okay.

After getting a double order of fries and a soft drink, I tucked myself away in a corner. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but there were rarely times in my life when I couldn’t bring myself to eat hot, salty fries.

Today was no exception. As I chomped my way through them, I flicked absently through my phone, checking my social media and my email. A message popped up from Brooks. Without thinking, I opened it and read the message.

Have you found anything for Dad for Christmas?

I grinned. All of my brothers eventually ended up asking me for suggestions for my father. I never had anything creative. It wasn’t like he was the easiest guy to shop for.

Just having that guy I know dig him up some fancy, unusual scotch.

Great. Now I have no idea what to get him.

I sent him back a smiley face.

You snooze, you lose.

His next comment told me that I was a brat. With a laugh, I exited out of the conversation and scrolled through my other various texts. I didn’t even realize what I was doing at first, but once I did, I closed the app and put the phone face down on the table.

Reaching up, I rubbed at my eyes.

I’d deleted all those texts from Cormac for a reason.

For this very specific reason, so I wouldn’t scroll back and go searching for them. Go back and look for them, and wonder, and wish and think and miss.

And what had I been doing, but searching for them? Searching for them anyway.

The history under the contacts didn’t show any calls or messages from him, and the total emptiness just made me ache even more.

I was such a pathetic loser.

Sighing, I finished up my fries and downed the rest of my soft drink.

He hadn’t even tried to reach out to me. I didn’t even know if I wanted him to, but I couldn’t deny that some part of me was hurt that he hadn’t so much as tried.

Thirty minutes before the end of my shift, Kris, one of the assistants who manned the front desk came rushing back into the unit with a wide grin on her face.

She made a beeline for me. Eyes dancing, she said, “You better plan on giving us details, Dr. Downing.”

“Details?” I gave her a curious look. “Details about what?”

“The guy! There is a guy, right?”

My cheeks flushed, and I glanced around, a little confused and more than a little self-conscious.

“Not sure what you’re talking about,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Kris rolled her eyes and reached out to grab my arm, tugging me along behind her. “Come on. Out here. You’ll see.”

All but helpless in the face of her excitement, I let her tug me along behind her, down the hallway and through the doors out into the emergency department waiting room.

There, on the front desk, sat an enormous, beautiful bouquet of flowers, most of them exotic and unfamiliar to me.

My eyes widened.

“Are those for me?” I asked, my voice faint.

“Yep.” Kris kept grinning at me. “Now, don’t stand there and tell me there isn’t a guy.”

My smile was automatic, but I couldn’t get my mind into working order.

Kris plucked a card from a little holder and held it out. “Here.”

I took it from her and tried to ignore the fact that my hands were shaking.

“Are you going to open it?” she demanded, excitement coloring her voice.

“Ah…no. Not out here,” I told her. Licking my lips, I tucked the card into my pocket.

“They are from your guy, right?”

My guy. I shifted my attention to her. “There’s a guy. I’m not sure where we stand right now.”

“If he’s sending you flowers like that?” Kris rolled her eyes expressively. “You can say one thing with certainty. He’s nuts about you.”

I had no response to that.

Hefting the massive bouquet, I nodded at the door. “Can you open it?”

“You’re not even giving me any good details,” she said with a heavy sigh. But she hit the button for the door.

The card burned a hole in my pocket as I headed back onto the floor. More than a few whistled while others asked questions. I ignored them all and carried the flowers to the women’s changing room and settled them on one of the small tables.

A quick glance assured me I was alone, so I dug the card out.

The writing on it was unfamiliar to me, but I had a feeling it wasn’t Cormac’s. However, the words were all him.

I was an ass. I saw you with that guy, and my brain just stopped. Sometimes I wonder why you even bother with me, instead of somebody who is smart and sophisticated like you. Like that other doctor. I saw the two of you together, and I lost it. It was stupid, and I’m sorry.

Unsure of how I should think or even respond, I carefully tucked the note back inside the pocket of my scrubs and headed back out to finish up my shift.

Somehow, I knew he would be waiting for me when I left.

I was so certain of it, I already knew what I was going to say to him. We hadn’t even discussed the things we needed to discuss—all that shit Jerrel had told me.

If I had to go by the card and Cormac’s actions, he was pissed off about seeing me with Dr. Moyes—Terrence.

Did I believe that?

I had no idea.

I wanted to.

I really did. Hell, the last thing I wanted to believe was anything that had come out of Jerrel’s mouth. He’d already proven himself to be something of a chameleon. The man who’d been waiting outside my house the other day was absolutely nothing like the man who’d presented himself in my emergency department. Who was to say which man was the real one?

Now that I’d had some distance from the hurt and shock, one thing was clear. I couldn’t take the word of a guy I didn’t even know without talking to Cormac first. I hadn’t so much as given him a chance to defend himself or offer any explanations.

How fair was that?

The answer was simple.

It wasn’t fair at all.

My thoughts were heavy as I made my way outside. At the sight of him, I came up short. He leaned against my car, hands shoved deep inside his pockets.

Coming to a stop in front of him, the huge basket of flowers clutched in my arms, I met his gaze.

He seemed more focused on the riot of blooms than me.

Finally, he shifted his gaze upward.

“I see you got the flowers.”

“Yes,” I told him. The stupidity of the conversation had me mentally groaning.

“Do you like them?”

“What’s not to like?” I heaved out a sigh. We sounded like strangers. Cutting around him, I shifted the flowers to one arm and unlocked the car, putting the bouquet in the passenger seat. That done, I turned back to him. The wind was cold and sharp, stinging my cheeks and biting through my coat like it wasn’t even there. I slid my hands into my pockets and met his gaze once more.

“It’s cold,” I told him. “And scrubs aren’t very warm. If there was something you want to say, please say it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, the words rough and stilted. “I was an arse. I don’t know what I was thinking, but when I saw you coming out of the hospital with the doctor, I just kind of lost it.”

“So you said.” I stared at him. “You said those very things to me in that card.” I took a deep breath. “Is that it, or is there something else you want to tell me?”

He hesitated and looked away. “Look, I know I’m screwing up a lot here. But I care about you, Briar. This is all new to me.” He spread out his hands, a helpless expression on his face. “I…shit. Look, I care about you. I don’t know how to do this.”

I care about you.

Those were the words I’d needed to hear from him.

Now that he’d told me, I didn’t know what to do.

Clenching my jaw, I looked away. After a few seconds, I looked back at him and nodded. “I need to go home. I want to shower and change out of these clothes. If you want to come over later so we can talk, go ahead. Bring something for us to eat. I’m exhausted and I’m starving, but I don’t feel like going out.”

He gave me a hesitant nod. At some point, he’d moved closer, and now we were close enough to touch. The look in his eyes made me think he might kiss me.

I wanted him to, but at the same time, I wasn’t ready for him to do that.

Backing up, I moved to the driver seat and climbed in.

Cormac stared at me. I could see him from the rearview mirror, and I knew he kept watching me until I was lost to his view.

I got home and showered.

Taking my time with it, I shaved my legs and exfoliated my face, trying to wash away the stress of the past few days.

It wasn’t working.

I still felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and they just weren’t broad enough.

After a good fifteen minutes under the spray of hot water, I climbed out and dried off. I smoothed lotion across my skin, then dressed in a cami and lounge pants, leaving my hair wet around my shoulders to dry.

I decided that I needed a drink, and wine wasn’t going to cut it, so I broke open the scotch my father had given me a few months back and poured a healthy serving.

I’d only finished half when the knock sounded on my door.

My stomach did an uneasy flip as I pushed off the counter.

Cradling my scotch against my chest, I made my way through the house to the foyer.

Cormac hadn’t knocked again. He simply stood waiting on the porch. I opened the door and found him standing there, holding a bucket from a familiar local chicken chain, along with a bag stained with grease. My belly rumbled, although one look in his eyes was enough to make my throat tighten. I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to eat with my throat locking up on me.

“Come in,” I told him, pushing the screen door open.

He came inside, and I gestured for him to go on into the kitchen so he could put the food down.

I didn’t follow him.

Instead, I moved into the living room and flicked on the gas fireplace. The heat reached out to warm my chilled flesh as I sipped at my scotch.

Floorboards creaked, signaling Cormac’s return.

“Hey,” he said, voice low and gritty.

“Hey.”

Another floorboard creaked.

I turned to face him, reluctant to let him come up behind me.

He still stood several feet away, looking uncertain. My heart clenched, and I could feel myself softening toward him. I couldn’t let myself do that. Not yet.

“Did you know Jerrel came by here yesterday?” I said, tossing the comment out there.

“What?” He scowled at me, his face a mask of surprise.

If he wasn’t surprised, he was damn good at pretending, I decided.

“Yeah.” I took another sip of my scotch, studying him. “He told me you work for the Castellanos family.”

Cormac’s mouth tightened, then pulled to the side. “Okay. So?”

That wasn’t what I’d been expecting. Tossing back the rest of my scotch, I stormed past him. “So? Does that mean you do work for them?” I demanded as I headed into the kitchen to refill my drink.

“Here and there. They need money from somebody, I’ve been known to go and collect it. That’s why I’m up here now. Is that a problem?” he asked, sounding bewildered.

I thunked my glass down on the counter and turned to stare at him. Again, I saw no hint of subterfuge. My head started to pound. Grabbing the bottle of scotch, I splashed more into my glass. The bright lights of the kitchen highlighted his baffled features too well. In the face of his confusion, it proved to be oddly hard to think clearly.

His big body blocked the doorway, so I had to edge around him again. Once more, I left him behind to trail after me as I made my way back to the living room.

“You’re here to collect money,” I said in a tight voice. “I thought the Castellanos family worked out of Florida.”

“They do, as far as I know. But the people who owe them money don’t always stay in Florida.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him shrug.

“So, you’re not here because of my family.”

“Your family?”

I turned to glare at him. “Yeah. My family. Remember how you threw them in my face?”

“Fuck,” he muttered, looking embarrassed. “Look, Briar. The circles a guy like me runs in, fuck, I’ve heard about the Downings, okay? But I don’t know them. I’ve never worked for them. I don’t do business with them.”

“That’s not what I asked,” I said coldly.

He planted his hands on his hips. “I’m not here for your brothers or your dad, okay? I don’t give a flying fuck about them.”

Those words rang oddly true, but I still wasn’t ready to let this all go. “Why would Jerrel come here then? Why bring it up?”

“Because he’s an antagonistic arse?” Cormac suggested. “He’s had it out for me from day one, and it looks like he figured out I had a thing for you, so he decided to fuck wi’ me.” His accent had grown more pronounced, showcasing his rising irritation. His voice softened though, and he took a step toward me. “Briar…”

I watched him warily, uncertain. “What?”

He reached out to touch my cheek. “What do you mean?”

“You said my name.”

“I say it in my sleep,” he told me, sliding his hand into my hair. His voice had deepened even more, roughened and now it was like velvet and whiskey on my skin. “I’ve been kicking my ass for how I hurt you last night. Say you’ll forgive me.”

I rested my hands on his chest. Just a few soft words from him, his hands on my skin, and my brain went fuzzy. He was hazardous to my health, to my heart, to my mental state.

He stroked his thumb across my lower lip. “Briar?”

“What?”

“Are you going to forgive me?”

I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to think.

But I was tired of fighting myself.

So I just wasn’t going to. Not right then.

Rising up on my toes, I pressed my mouth to his.