Now that I had noticed it, I couldn’t get enough of it. Oliver’s honey and lavender scent had taken on a spicy undertone and his skin was warmer than normal underneath my hands.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Wyatt! What with Chloe’s birthday and not expecting my heat yet, I haven’t made an appointment with a new doctor. And I definitely can’t go back on those suppressants, even if they did work."

"Shh, shh." I rubbed my hands up and down Oliver's arms, automatically trying to sooth him. "Let's get inside so we can talk." Sprinkles danced around our feet and followed us inside.

I pulled Oliver along with me, and when he tried to sit next to me on the couch, I pulled him into my lap. 

"I know we had plans," Oliver babbled. "If it would be easier, I can get a hotel room for the week or whatever. Whatever works best for you. I'm so sorry I'm ruining our week."

"Why should our week be ruined?" I kept my voice deliberately calm and soothing. "We had plans, yes, but I don't see why they can't be adjusted."

"But, I don't want to push you—I'm going to need—"

I knew what he was dancing around saying. He'd need me to knot him. I shouldn't have been surprised that Oliver picked up on my desire to take it slow without me saying anything. But if this was going to be a real relationship, with all the responsibilities and benefits that entailed, it wasn't just about what I wanted, but about what Oliver needed. Though as his scent intensified with each moment, the need to be in him grew stronger.

"I'll take care of you," I said, and the words recalled to mind the fantasy that had become my go-to in the shower, of bringing Oliver to the edge of an orgasm with my hands and tongue before taking him and knotting him. I swallowed past the giant lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. "We have a little while before the worst of it hits. Why don't we make the most of it? Go on up to my room and make yourself comfortable. I'll be right up."

Oliver nodded and did as I suggested while I disappeared into the kitchen to grab a pile of water bottles and easy to grab snacks. We were going to need them. Sprinkles danced around my feet and I realized I needed to do something with him. I dialed Sally.

“Hey, would you mind coming over to the house and grabbing Sprinkles to put him in overnight care? The back door will be unlocked. Something, ah, came up.”

“Of course,” she said. “You want me to come over now?”

“That would be great.” It would be less embarrassing now than if she came over once Oliver’s heat was in full swing and his scent filled the entire house. Not that heats should be embarrassing, but they should be intimate.

“Just lock the door behind you when you leave.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask for any more information.

Oliver was pacing in my room, and as I reached my door, he jerked his shirt off as if it had offended him. He froze when he noticed my eyes on him. "I'm burning up," he explained.

"You don't need an excuse to strip in front of me," I teased, setting the supplies on top of a side table. I approached him slowly, enjoying my view. I hadn't had many chances to take my time looking Oliver over, clothed or unclothed. I reached him and traced a line down the center of his abs. He trembled beneath my touch. I smoothed my hands up to his shoulders and pushed back gently until he sat on my bed. "I like you like this."

"Are you sure?" Oliver asked. 

"Why wouldn't I be sure?" I stepped between Oliver's legs and pulled his hands around my ass. They each grabbed a handful before loosening tentatively. "But this is your first time with a man."

I bent down to capture Oliver's lips. "And I have been imagining this for months. Don't slow down on my account, Oliver. I need you. I want you. If you want me to take you to a hotel, I will. But know that if it were up to me, I'd ride this heat out with you. Do my best to make it bearable.

I could see the thoughts running with difficulty behind his eyes. Heat was hard on the upper faculties, but he wasn't too far gone. Yet. I could trust him to make an informed decision.

And then he was on me, his legs wrapped around my hips, his mouth devouring me with an energy that had been suppressed until now. I met his ferocity, our tongues dancing against each other. I turned around to sit on the bed and Oliver used it to leverage himself better, grinding against my growing erection. I broke away to ask, "Is that a yes?"

"Do I need to say it?" he gasped through kisses down my neck.

"I would like it, yes. I don't want any confusion between us."

"Yes, Oliver. I want whatever you can give me."

The first wave of heat was ramping up. His skin was growing hotter by the second. I stood and threw him onto the bed, then crawled on top of him. He was sexier than I imagined, half naked, burning with need.

"It goes easier for me if you knot me hard and fast soon. We'll have more time to explore each other between waves."

I leaned down and took his nipple between my lips, swirling my tongue around it as he arched off the bed and then letting it slide out with a pop. I hated that he had been through enough heats with someone that he had...expectations. Patterns. Not that I would wish him the pain of an unassisted and unmedicated heat, but I couldn't help but wish I'd been the first. But then, he wasn't mine, so maybe it was better this way. More equal.

"I can't just take you without some build up, Oliver. You're worth my time." A tear squeezed from his eye and I leaned forward to kiss it away. "What is that for?"

"You're so different."

I knew he was talking about the asshole he'd been with previously. He never talked about him, but after getting to know Oliver, I had formed some thoughts of my own.

"How?"

"With him, there was always this expectation of getting pregnant."

I connected the unsaid dots. "But now you know you can’t, so that expectation is off the table. Does that make it easier?”

"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know if I can talk about this right now."

"I need to talk about it a little bit, Oliver." I was braced over him, holding back. "If the reason you say it is easier if I make it quick the first time is that it took away that first expectation for a pregnancy, then I'd like to try something different. We're not trying for children now. This is a natural process for your body, and I want to make it easier on you. I want to make it as pleasurable as possible. Can you trust me to take the lead? If at any time, what I'm doing isn't working for you, you need only tell me."

Slowly, Oliver nodded. 

"I don't want you stressing about any expectations, real or perceived, ancient history or new. You've given me so much. Let me give you this time. Let me take care of you."

I stepped off the bed and slowly undressed first. As vulnerable as I was feeling in this moment, Oliver must be feeling even more so, between the hormonal turmoil of heat damage the previous alpha caused. I refused to refer to him as Oliver's alpha. He didn't deserve the title. I bared my body first, so that Oliver was never more vulnerable than I by any action of mine.

His eyes followed my hands with the same focused intensity he gave learning every new thing. I'd seen the look in his eyes when listening to Chloe and when I'd shown him how to make the puppies’ formula. But he'd never flushed so prettily before. I'd never seen him press his hand hard against his erection for relief before. He groaned as I slipped off my boxers and started unbuttoning his own pants. I dropped to my knees beside him to help him pull them over his feet, then lay next to him, pressing our bodies tightly together but not asking for anything more than a kiss. 

Oliver's hands hovered over my skin as I lazily explored his mouth, then boldly began exploring my flesh. His hands were everywhere—in my hair, on my shoulders, kneading my ass—his movements were spastic and needy, but I kept my kiss slow. This time was going to be different for him. I was going to blast every other memory of heat from his mind.