“Oliver Moore?” I rose up as the nurse called my name, feeling better than I had in a few days, thank goodness. The last thing an OB/GYN office needed was a plague carrier getting all their pregnant patients sick.

If it weren’t for Wyatt’s insistence, I probably would’ve called and canceled, but he was right. I was less than a month from my scheduled heat and that weird burst of kind-of-sort-of heat needed to be addressed first. It wasn’t only me it impacted. Both Chloe and Wyatt were an intertwined part of my life now and I needed to be available for them and not stuck in another bout of sickness like my last heat.

The nurse did the normal height and weight check before shuffling me into the little exam room. Unlike my last OB/GYN’s office, this one felt more like they cared than a money making machine. It was nice to see the pictures on the wall painted and drawn by former patients and their kids. Maybe this one would listen to me and help me control my heat without making me pray to die due to the side effects.

“It says here you are here to discuss your last suppressants.” I had to give it to the nurse, she was matter of fact while talking about something so incredibly personal.

“Yes, ma’am.” My eyes watched the floor, the conversation a bit too personal to have with a stranger, even a stranger as professional as she was. “They made me very sick.”

“By sick, you mean filled with need?” There was no judgment in her voice and I tried not to take her question as such. I knew from my research online that some people reacted to suppressants by having an amplified heat. That was not the case for me, but it sounded equally as dreadful.

“No.” I shook my head while I forced myself to meet her eyes. I needed them to believe me and fix the problem, unlike my last doctor. I couldn’t go through that again. People counted on me to be present and able to function. “Head pounding, sick to my stomach, crunched in a ball praying for relief all while trying to decide if getting up long enough to get to the hospital was worth it, sick.” Sad thing was, I wasn’t exaggerating. It was that flipping awful.

“That’s not good.”

“No, it really isn’t.” I agreed.

“According to your chart, your next heat is due in about a month.” I nodded. “Anything unusual since your last heat and this one?”

I told her all about my heat breakthrough, my face burning as bright as a thousand suns. I left out the interpersonal details, but she knew it without all the words.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” Her words caught me off guard.

“Not possible.” Sorrow filled my voice. That was a wound that seemed to never heal. “I’m unable to get pregnant. It should be in the charts sent over from my last doctor.” I didn’t want to talk more about it. She had the papers. She was free to read the details.

“Hmmm, I don’t see it here.” She flipped through the chart, which seemed so out of place in a day and age where computer medical records were the norm. “Maybe the doctor has more information. In the meantime, let’s just pee in a cup. You know, to be sure.”

“It’s a waste of money.” And would break my heart.

“Money your insurance pays, so humor me.” She wasn’t going to take no for an answer, that was obvious from her shift in posture.

“Fine,” I conceded. “Across the hall?”

“Yes, leave it there with your name on it and I will let the doctor know you are here.”

I got up off the exam table and headed to the door, no use prolonging the inevitable.

“I’m sure he can help you figure out a better solution.” She gave my shoulder a pat as I left. I only hoped she was right. I couldn’t deal with another heat like that. Not ever.

I went across the hall and did as she asked. There was no way it was positive, yet a little piece of me held onto the hope, which was dumb. If I was pregnant, it would ruin everything. Wyatt was a long way from wanting more kids, he said as much. I gave myself an imaginary slap. Why was I buying trouble that wasn’t there? I was barren. Done deal.

As I sat in the exam room, I counted the ceiling tiles, trying to avoid thinking about the non-pregnancy pregnancy. It didn’t work and by the time I got the two knock warning as the doctor came in, I was worked up beyond belief.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Russell.” He held out his hand and I gave it a shake.

“Oliver.” Which of course, he knew, but I was trying to be polite and not show the increasing panic that was filling me.

“I see here, you had some pretty severe negative effects from your suppressants last heat.”

“It was awful.”

“It also says here you took double.” His face crinkled at that. My last doctor told me it was common practice, but the look on Dr. Russell’s face told me I had been bullshitted.

“The doctor I had thought it would be a good idea with me starting a new job and all.”

“Your doctor was an ass.” He closed the file, giving me a compassionate look. “Pardon my French.”

“He was.” I folded my hands on my lap, trying hard not to fidget too much. This entire appointment was going so differently than I expected and I kept waiting for the next foot to drop.

“I was told you were infertile, but I don’t see that anywhere in your file.” He wasn’t even looking at the file as he spoke. He was watching me.

“My old alpha and I tried to get pregnant for years. We went to the doctor and they told us it was impossible and that was that.” That was me getting kicked out, but he didn’t need to know that information.

“Did they specifically say you were the problem?”

“They just said it was impossible.” Shit, what was he getting at?

“I read through your file, all your fertility tests look fine.” Fuckity fuck fuck. “Why did you think it was you?”

“I wanted to ask more, but my alpha yelled at them, saying they were incompetent if they couldn’t find what was wrong so we could fix it. I’m not sure if I assumed it was me after that or if he made me think that.” As this started to unravel before me, so many emotions filled me. Anger, fear, hope.

“I’ll pardon your French as well.” He chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood. He could see the distress I was in. I wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“I messed up.”

“How’s that?” He looked perplexed, as if he knew none of the mess I was facing was my fault. Except that he was missing one key item. Or lack thereof: a condom.

“I –I had unprotected sex with an alpha during my heat or maybe heat. The breakthrough I told the nurse about.”

“Your alpha?” he tried to clarify.

“Not that one, no.” Never again, that asshat. “A new one. We thought it was safe.” I told him it was safe. He trusted me and I misled him. Not on purpose, but I should have known. I should have asked the right questions back then instead of holding a pity party for one.

“The nurse should be back here any moment to know if this is even a thing you need to be worried about.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, in comfort. I was normally not ok with strange alpha’s touch, but in this case, I needed his assurance because it felt like my world was spinning and I was about to be thrown off.

“How could I be so dumb?” I sobbed. “I believed him. My old alpha, I mean.”

“To be fair, your doctor played a part in this as well.” He offered me a tissue. “When was this unprotected sex?”

“Two weeks ago.” I took the proffered tissue and blew my nose, all hope of decorum gone.

“Then the test should be accurate. Two weeks is about the best time to test. Then of course, comes the scent, but you still have a little bit of time for that to kick in—or not.” At this point I wasn’t registering his words. I just needed the nurse to come in and let me know it was all going to be okay.

Two knocks came as the door opened. This was it. This was the moment that would change everything. Or not. The glint in her eyes gave nothing away. I sucked in my breath waiting for her to give me the news. Instead, she handed the doctor a paper before excusing herself.

His smile was tentative. What did that mean?

“Well, Oliver, it seems that congratulations are in order.”