CHAPTER TWELVE

 

 

~

 

“I don’t think any of us is in a fit state to drive,” Bree said with a snort of contempt for the idea.

Martha grumbled as she frowned into her empty glass. “I don’t have my car…”

“Me either, Bree made me get in her junker…” Emily grumbled.

“It’s not a junker.,” Bree frowned at the witch, and Emily shot her a look that questioned her sanity. “Okay, it’s seen better days, but that car got you away from your vampire batty-mate.” She hiccupped and spotted the vampire at the window. “Speak of the devil…”

Bree motioned towards the window, and Emily groaned. “Literally.”

“Oh, he’s not the devil,” Martha waved a dismissive hand in the air, forgot what she was going to say, looked momentarily confused, and then nodded. “That big old alpha’s the devil.”

“Which one?” Bree said and hiccupped again.

“The alpha,” Martha offered back, speaking up so that Bree could hear her.

“There’s two,” Bree said, and barely managed to get the last word out before she hiccupped again.

“My alpha,” Martha said, and Bree snorted a chuckle.

“Ha! You don’t want to say that too loudly!” she chuckled, and hiccupped. “Bum!” she bit out, annoyed at hiccupping, but it always happened when she drank anything but wine.

“Not – my – as in – mine – he can whistle if he thinks that’s ever going to happen,” Martha snorted in disgust. “I’m too close to having that second foot in the grave to be fussing around with old farts.”

“What about you with Mr-Stalker-pants?” Bree said and absently waved a hand at the window.

“How old do you think I am?” Emily screeched in surprise.

“Your mate – not your age,” Martha said.

“Oh, vamp-tramp,” Emily shrugged. “He’s kind of sexy.” She shrugged again as Bree shot a look at Jai and found him beaming a smirk. “For a dead guy with fangs.”

“It’s the fangs that’ll get you every time,” Bree giggled.

“Literally,” Martha snorted.

“What’s with the whole fangs down thing anyway? Is he a newbie that can’t control his urges?” Emily sneered.

“That man’s older than sin,” Martha snorted. “He’ll be fine once he has the taste of your blood on his tongue.”

“That’s … reassuring.” Emily shot her a look of horror.

“On the bright side he doesn’t turn into a wolf,” Bree nodded in agreement with herself.

“Doesn’t sniff his own backside,” Martha grumbled.

“Ah, I’m sure he’ll let you sniff his backside, Martha, if you feel that strongly about it,” Bree grinned, then hiccupped as Martha glared at her.

“That’s not funny,” Martha bit back.

“It’s not unfunny,” Emily giggled. Then Jai caught her eye, and she scowled at him. “Why don’t you pass the vampire a bucket and sponge and he can do the windows while he’s hanging around.”

“Meh, the thought of him hanging upside down from the guttering by his little clawed toes is…” she offered a shiver and a sneer.

“You ladies are delightful when you drink,” Jai called, and the three witches turned to look at him.

“Could you be any more morally repugnant?” Emily called back with a scowl.

“I can try,” Jai tossed back and offered her a fangy, cocky grin.

Bree sniggered as she lifted her glass to her lips and realized that it was empty. “We need more booze.”

“Amen to that,” Martha said and hiccupped. Then she turned a steely gaze onto Bree. “You better not have spelled me with your hiccups,” she grumbled.

“Why do I always get the blame for everything?” Bree said, waving an absent hand around as if she was wafting a bad smell away.

“Because you cause all the trouble,” Martha tossed back.

“Do not…”

“Do too,” Martha said as her eyebrows went up towards her hairline and she berated Bree with just a look.

Bree snorted and turned her attention towards Emily as she leaned in over the table as if she was going to whisper a secret. “I don’t.”

“Oh, she does,” Martha snorted a chuckle of disbelief. Bree opened her mouth to speak, and Martha cut her off. “Who created the mates spell in the first place?”

“You – who – that’s who,” Bree tossed back and scowled as her words confused her.

“Ah, but who enacted it with such consequences to bring – three – five mates together?” She said, correcting herself in mid-flow as she remembered her own and Emily’s predicament.

“Yes – yes,” Bree said waving that hand again.

“Who turned the wolf into a rainbow warrior?” Martha scowled at her.

Bree rushed to her own defense on that one. “He sniffed…”

“Who didn’t change him back?” Martha wagged a finger at her.

“I was going to, but he ran off…”

“In his multicolored shame,” Martha berated her again.

“You’ve been busy,” Emily snorted.

“Fine – fine, I’ll mend my meddlesome ways.” Bree held her hands up in surrender.

“Too late for me,” Martha grumbled.

“And me,” Emily muttered.

“Nice to know you’re on board,” Jai called. “Come on out, and we can get started with the wooing…”

“Woo, my a…”

“Grandmother,” Bree chuckled, and Emily frowned.

“Even my grandmother wouldn’t be old enough for him, and she’s been dead for twenty years,” Martha grumbled.

“How old is he?” Emily twisted her face into a grimace.

“I don’t know,” Martha said and turned in her seat to face the vampire. “How did they build the pyramids?”

“Not that damn old,” Jai tossed back.

“The rise of the Roman empire?”

“Noooo…”

“Birth of Christ?”

“Martha…”

“Magna Carta?”

“Martha…”

“Columbus discovering America?”

“For the love of…”

“Mary Queen of Scots?” Jai winced, and Martha jumped in her seat. Her eyes widened, and she spat out a chuckle. “You’re over five hundred years old?”

“Say what?” Emily swallowed down hard.

“You have to admit,” Jai said. “I look pretty damn good for my age, don’t ya think?”

“Bet you don’t feel so old now, Martha,” Bree chuckled. Then she tossed a smirk at the vampire. “You’re a relic, Vampy.”

“I don’t even know what happened five hundred years ago – it feels like … forever ago,” Emily said.

“Well, at least you’ll have something to talk about, Jai can catch you up – in detail,” Bree said with a little snigger.

“We’re you a Knight?” Emily asked, and Jai opened his mouth to speak. “Did they have those then?” she leaned in and asked Martha.

“Why are you asking me?” Martha said, and her voice pitched higher. “I wasn’t there.” Emily grimaced.

“Yes, they did. No, I wasn’t,” Jai called. “Bree, invite me in – I make the best Margaritas this side of M…”

“Well, come on in…” Bree said without thinking.

“Noooo!” Emily shrieked. She jumped to her feet and swayed. She pitched forward and grabbed the table for support. “What did you do?” She hissed at Bree, who hiccupped and looked remorseful.

“Not think?” Bree said with an apologetic wince.

“That’s the story of her life to date,” Martha said.

Emily squeaked in surprise as Jai appeared at her side. “Well, fancy meeting you here,” he beamed.

Martha lifted her empty glass and shoved it under the vampire’s nose. “Keep your word. Fill it up. Oh, and they stopped using that line about thirty years ago.”