I’d ruined relationships in more ways than I could count, but homicide was a first. Emily was lying on her back with her lips parted and her body totally limp.

I patted her cheek and shook her softly. “Emily! Wake up!”

I checked her pulse and breathing. She was still alive, but she wasn’t moving. I’d completely underestimated how fast and hard I could lift her up. And if I hadn’t taken the world title of biggest idiot in that moment, I was at least in the top ten.

The elevator doors opened and William came in. He was bent over from laughing so hard, and he was wearing a ridiculous little plastic fireman’s hat to go with his suit.

“Oh my God,” he said through bursts of laughter. “I completely forgot they sealed those hatches when the safety codes changed. You just catapulted your girlfriend into a solid ceiling.” He broke out in fresh laughter that made him slump down on the floor and block the doors. A few employees who had been waiting for an elevator seemed to know better than to get involved because they all dispersed and waited on other elevators.

“She’s not my girlfriend. And this isn’t even close to funny. She’s unconscious and she could have a concussion. It’s your fault, too.”

William pointed to his chest. “Me? I told you to use the panel, not use her head to crack it open.” He couldn’t even finish the sentence without laughter taking him again. “You know, I’m not sure I can live with myself if I set you two up now. Emily might not survive your next genius plan.”

I picked up Emily and started to walk toward the door, but she stirred in my arms. I quickly yanked the fireman’s hat off William, snapping the rubber band holding it under his chin in the process. “Say a word of this to her and you’re dead.”

“What are you going to do, take me under your arm and start ramming through doors with my head? Or maybe you’ll try to use me to hammer nails.”

I gave him a look that said to be quiet as I eased Emily down to her feet and made sure she could stand.

She blinked her eyes open and put her hand experimentally to her head, which, thankfully, wasn’t bleeding. “What happened?”

“We can talk about that later,” I said.

“William?” she asked.

“The elevator works again!” he declared as he hopped to his feet and dusted his hands. “It’s a Halloween miracle!”

“A Halloween miracle would be if a guy in a mask suddenly stabbed you,” I said.

Emily looked a little surprised by my hostility.

“I’m impervious to knives,” William said.

“How do you figure that?” I asked.

“Because I’ve never heard of a rich person stabbing someone. That means the person holding the knife could be bought. Boom. Impervious.”

“Want to give me a knife and test your theory?” I leaned closer so only he could hear me. “Butt out. Seriously.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m more of a butt in kind of guy, thank you very much.”

“Come on, Emily.” I took her hand and pulled her out of the elevator. She followed me up the stairs until we reached the correct floor, and then through a long hallway lined with what looked like conference rooms behind frosted glass windows. At the end of the hallway, the only fully private room waited, and it matched the room number on the key he’d given me.

“This one is yours.” I unlocked it and stepped in, but froze in the doorway. The window at the back of the room was covered by a silky red curtain and the only light was provided by two dozen flickering candles. There was a four-poster bed with a mirror on the ceiling above it.

I backed up, forcing Emily away from the door as I did before she had a chance to see inside. I closed it and locked it tight. “Actually,” I said. “I think I must have the wrong room.”

“What?” she asked. “The key worked though. Right?”

“Just, uh,” I tried the door of an empty conference room across the hall and it opened. “Why don’t you get set up in here and I’ll go let William know you’ll be in this room instead. Sound good?”

She looked at me like I was crazy, but smiled. “Sure. I’ll get started.”

I found William in his office. He was stroking his chin like he fancied himself as some kind of evil genius.

I threw my hands up in the air once I closed the door. “A mirror on the goddamn ceiling? Candles? Four-poster bed? Did I miss any of your genius touches?”

He frowned in thought. “Did you see the flavored massage oils under the bed? Or the quick-start BDSM kit in the closet? Oh, and I had them put in a ridiculous sound system yesterday. You could’ve rocked half the building with some Barry White if you’d wanted. He’s the one people like to fuck to, right? I don’t need music, but I’ve heard that some guys do. I figure you’re probably rusty, so—”

“Are you seriously trying to set us up, or are you trying to sabotage any chance of Emily and I ever getting together? Because I’m having a hard time figuring it out.”

"I'm hurt that you're even asking me. I want you two lovebirds to bump uglies A.S.A.P.—sorry, that’s high up business jargon for ‘as soon as possible.’”

“I know what A.S.A.P. means.” I clenched my jaw and paced in a circle, wishing I had something I could break to satisfy my frustration. “Did it ever occur to you that I might have a reason for avoiding relationships? That maybe you’re not helping me by trying to set me up?”

“No?”

“Well, I don’t want a relationship, William. I’m trying really hard to keep things professional with this girl, and you’re not helping.” The words didn’t ring true, even to me, but I was too irritated to care. If I was going to make a mistake by taking things too far with Emily, I wanted it to be my mistake, not his.

He grinned. “So you’re saying it is working." He twisted in his chair to literally pat himself on the back. "Watch out, Cupid."

“Cupid? Cupid would use his stupid little bow and do something subtle. You’re more like Arnold Schwarzenegger with a bazooka.”

He nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, man.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“Agree to disagree.”

“Look,” I snapped. “Emily is taking the conference room next to the one you set up. The one without the bed and the BDSM kit. And nothing is going to happen in there.”

He winked. “Got it. The one with the big windows, you dirty dog. If I knew you liked an audience, I wouldn’t have had them cover the windows yesterday.”

I pointed my finger at him, but couldn’t even think of a response that would get through his thick skull. I let my hand drop to my side and left. Trying to change William’s mind was pointless. All I could do was be prepared for his next stunt and do my best to avoid it.