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His Virgin: A First Time Romance by Vivian Wood, Samus Aran (30)

32

After the fight with Elijah, Meredith spent the remaining weeks of the final campaign push working her ass off in order to get him out of her mind.

She missed him so badly.

But she couldn't stop obsessing over the things he'd said to her.

She'd thought Elijah was different. That her family's wealth and status didn't matter to him. After the times they'd spent together and the conversations they'd had, she'd thought he'd understood her. Come to find out, he hadn't really understood her at all.

She'd been deeply hurt because she wasn't like that.

She was grateful for what she had, and worked hard not to come across as a spoiled princess.

But the absolute worst was when he'd just gone along with what she'd said about just being another one of his flings. Deep down, she'd wanted him to comfort her and tell her she was more than that. That she was special, and that he really liked her.

And maybe…

Just maybe, things would have turned out a lot better if he'd just told her he loved her.

Because she knew…

She'd fallen in love with him, hard and fast.

It was like she was falling into a bottomless pit – there was no end to it.

Knocking back a shot of whisky, Meredith smiled bitterly, thinking that it was definitely for the best that Elijah hadn't bothered to chase her. The last thing she needed was him getting her hopes up for the millionth time.

Now she knew not to expect anything from him. He'd made it crystal clear that she was nothing more than a fling, a toy used to kill time and relieve his sexual frustrations. She was just the latest in a long line of women who'd fallen for his charms.

“Meredith,” she heard her mother calling out her name.

It was a few nights before Election Day, and she was finally back at home, currently drinking herself silly. She should have been spending time bonding with her family. But her mind was filled with thoughts of nothing but Elijah, as usual.

She did a double take when her mother came close.

Her mom was drunk. It had been awhile since she'd seen her like this.

She looked for her father, but he was already passed out on the couch. He'd never been much of a drinker, not like her mother.

Bonnie was traveling with friends.

She sighed, wishing that her little sister was there. At least she'd have someone to talk with.

“Mom, you’re drunk,” she spoke softly, filling her glass with more whisky.

“I-I-I’m not,” Elizabeth argued, stuttering. “Just tipsy.”

Rolling her eyes, Meredith chuckled.

“Whatever,” she said, not wanting to argue. “Come on, let's get you to bed.”

“No,” her mother protested, shaking her head.

Meredith fought the urge to laugh. Who would have ever thought that the Elizabeth Howard Fields would be like this when drunk?

I took after her, I guess.

“D-Do you know what I have always dreamt for you and your sister?” Elizabeth spoke gently, her expression soft like she was thinking about something very beautiful.

Her mother was usually an emotionally messy drunk, laughing until she cried, or singing until she'd lose her voice. But right now she was acting differently, making Meredith feel anxious.

“What is it?” she asked hesitantly.

Her mother smiled bitterly, with a single tear rolling down her left cheek.

Meredith held her breath. Had her mother gone senile?

“I want the two of you to marry someone you love and who could love you the same way,” Elizabeth responded emotionally. “I don’t want you to be in a loveless marriage for convenience.”

She stayed quiet, studying her mother’s expression a little bit longer. Her mother didn’t sound like she was joking, and she knew it was the heaviest burden she'd been carrying in her heart for a long time.

Meredith was aware of what her mom was referring to, of course. But she hadn't expected her mother to ever openly talk about it.

But maybe tonight, she thought her mother would open up.

“Nobody wants a marriage without love, Mom. It'll never last without love,” she said bitterly.

Just like her relationship with Elijah. Her love for him was completely one-sided. The only feeling shared between them was lust, pure and simple.

Elizabeth smiled. “You’re right.”

She fell silent, but she longed to ask her mother a very specific question. It was the same question she'd always wanted to ask her parents, but had never had the guts to discuss. But maybe now was the right time.

“But you and dad have been together for more than two decades. So I guess it could work,” she said delicately, hinting around the issue. “You had me, then Bonnie.”

“I love your dad, Mer,” Elizabeth blurted.

Meredith froze.

“I agreed to marry him because I love him. But his heart belonged to someone else,” her mother confessed, her cheeks flooded with tears.

Meredith didn't know how to react at this sudden revelation.

Her heart ached for her mom. How could she have possibly endured this for so long all by herself?

“I had no idea,” she whispered, hugging her mom fiercely, hoping it would soothe her at least a little bit.

More than ever, she felt blessed. Because of her mother's patience and sacrifice, she'd been able to grow up with a complete family. She may not have been the best daughter, but she'd grown up to be a good person thanks to her parents.

“Mom?” she prompted when Elizabeth’s sobs turned faint.

“Hmmm…?”

“What if I was in a secret relationship? One that no one knew about, but I was happy.”

“Well… it’s not a relationship if you can’t tell your parents about it, is it?”

Meredith shook her head glumly. She cared about Elijah, there was no denying that. She was certain that she loved him.

But her mom and Lily were right. She wasn't some dirty little secret. And it didn’t matter if there was a ten year difference between them. If she was going to be in a relationship with him, she wanted the whole package.

She wouldn’t accept less.

Because that was what she deserved.

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