CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
GAVIN
Tanya Johnson, formerly Tanya Wallace, hadn’t aged a bit.
Not that I was thinking she would, and not that I hadn’t seen her in years. I had seen her when I packed my bags and got the hell away from there, and a quick calculation in my mind made me realize that that was almost a year ago. Time had flown.
As they said, time healed all wounds. I looked at her now, assessing the situation and trying to find the resentment I felt for her before. It was one of those things that I thought would haunt me for life, and I braced myself for an inch of that haunting now.
To my surprise, I found none. In fact, looking at her gave me no rush of emotions whatsoever.
“How are you, Gav?”
We were sitting in a coffee shop, one that smelled of fresh brewed coffee and was cozy. It was also private, which was what we both needed. Tanya was wearing a yellow dress that showed off her generous curves and made her cheeks bloom at the same time, and she looked just as pretty as when I first met her—and yes, fell in lust with her.
But there was none of that lust now.
“I’m doing okay. Working again for Sara. How are you?”
“I’m great. I’ve got a lot of modeling gigs lately, and they’re paying the bills. I’m still looking for that big score. So you’re gonna be working for Sara for a while?”
There was genuine interest in her tone, something that I hadn’t heard in a long time. We’d ended everything on a sour note, and to have her here, looking friendly and calm, had me suspicious and wondering what was going on. Still, I kept my own calm and decided to just see where it went.
“My contract with her is up in the next few months, and I’m not sure where I’m headed after.”
“Any chance you’ll return to Los Angeles?”
“Tanya, what’s going on?”
My bluntness didn’t take her aback, as expected. I’d always been blunt with her, and she’d always been blunt with me—at least, she was. Probably realizing that her caution wasn’t going to get her anywhere, she sighed, leaning back in her chair as she did so. Then she leaned forward again and placed her hand on top of mine, a light gesture.
“I saw you on television guarding that race car driver, and…well, I miss you. Seeing you made me miss you.”
I didn’t expect those words, not really. But I could hear sincerity in her tone, and that made me wonder.
“What did you miss, exactly?”
This time she did look taken aback. “I miss everything.”
“Including the fights?”
Her eyes flared. “Why must you always be so difficult?”
“Tanya, we were always fighting. I’m just stating it for what it is. What do you miss?”
“I miss us. All our moments together, especially the good times. I miss having sex with you. God, I miss your touch. I miss your cock inside me.”
Her voice had turned raspy, and usually when it did, my cock stood at attention. But it was flaccid now.
When I didn’t respond right away, her fingers played with mine. When I still didn’t react, I saw a hint of impatience enter her eyes, which she tried to bank down. I tilted my head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything. I’ll be completely honest with you,” she said eagerly.
“You still want me, right?”
Tanya sighed. “Completely narcissistic question, but yes. At first, I thought I had enough of you, but it turns out missing you made me realize that I hadn’t, and I still want you. I want you so badly.”
I nodded, accepting that. Then I leaned forward. “Did you ever love me?”
Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth, and for the first few seconds I thought she was going to gush about it like she usually did after we fought and made up—or when I found her cheating on me and she tried to calm me down. Instead, she told me the truth.
“I didn’t, okay? But we can always give it a try.”
And that was the truth I needed because it reflected inside me as well.
“And do you think it will work out the second time around?”
A doubtful look crossed her face. She stubbornly held on. “We can try.”
Silence followed her words, and we looked at each other. Something inside me was shifting, something big and grand and opening up new answers that were hidden before—answers that I was too stupid to see on my own. I couldn’t believe it took Tanya’s visit to make me see them, but here they were, practically smacking me in the face.
Slowly, I slid my hand off the table, watching her eyes widen again. She looked at my hand incredulously, then at me. Her mouth may have dropped open a little bit, but she kept her composure intact and closed it right back.
“Is there someone else?” she finally asked.
There was someone, but it wasn’t between Tanya and me. That someone was completely different, and I had made the blind judgment of lumping her together with my old relationship and making comparisons instead of taking the risk.
And it was a mistake from the very beginning.
I shook my head. “I think we’re better off just not going back there. I know you know that, deep inside.”
Her face hardened, and she quickly retracted her hand from the table. “There is someone.”
“There is,” I agreed.
And I had a lot of to apologize and make up for.
*****
The text message from Sara indicated the time and place of Honey’s celebration—a pre-planned one that the crew had organized for her in their confidence that she’d win. That was pretty sweet, and they weren’t the only one. I knew she would win, too, from the moment our eyes met and I saw the fire in her honey eyes, indicating that she wasn’t going down without a fight.
And I was right.
I was already familiar with Daytona itself, and it didn’t take long for me to reach the place they reserved. It was a restaurant that doubled as a club, and I was pretty late, considering it took me a while to navigate Tanya’s displeasure at my news. She obviously didn’t expect it and tried her best to change tactics, sweet-talking me and trying to cajole me to come with her. But my decision was firm, and the best I could do was take her to the airport and see her to her flight. We didn’t exactly end it on a positive note, considering how put-out she was and how we barely talked.
But we said our final goodbyw, and there was not a single thought or regret connecting us this time.
At least, not to me.
I entered the restaurant and scanned the place, which was a bit crowded. There were a couple of doors scattered in the area and leading to more rooms, and I asked the bartender where the room for Miss York’s celebration was located. I was asked for my name and ushered to the last door near the restrooms, and I thanked the guy and slipped inside, where I found a surprisingly huge hall with plenty of guests.
Apparently, it wasn’t just the manager and the crew inside, but also a lot of the people that Honey dealt with in the racing world—sponsors, some racing friends and a couple of Sara’s marketing team and the crew’s girlfriends. It was still a pretty intimate celebration with food on one side and drinks on the other.
Amused, I eyed the trophy displayed beside the drinks, shining under the dim lights. It was big and bold and fitting for a big race, and I knew Honey was psyched to finally own it. There were tables pushed to the side where some of the guests were sitting, but the spacious dance floor in the middle was filled, and it looked like this has been going on for quite some time now.
I spotted Sara to the side, talking on the phone in hushed tones—probably her husband, who I knew wasn’t able to come. Then my eyes looked around some more, trying to find the one person I was here for.
Honey was in the middle of the dancing crowd, wearing black jeans, a sparkly purple top that clashed with her hair, and the biggest grin on the planet. It was a grin that had my heart stopping for a full second before it beat again—only it didn’t beat normally, but fast and loud in my ears. My body reacted to the sight of her dance moves, and I knew that even if she danced with two left feet or danced like a chicken, I’d still have the same reaction.
She threw her head back at something one of the crew members whispered to her, punching him on the arm. Her honey-brown eyes sparkled with joy, and it was the kind of joy that I wanted her to experience for a long time. She deserved this moment, deserved this win.
And selfish person that I was, I wanted to be by her side throughout it.
I didn’t hesitate. I moved quietly, navigating the crowd and greeting those I knew who said they were glad I finally caught up. I passed by Sara but didn’t glance in her direction; my eyes focused straight ahead towards my destination.
When I reached her side, I still didn’t speak, just enjoying the sound of her voice for a few seconds. Her body was still grooving to the music, and her Southern twang was deeper now and more recognizable, indicating that she was hyped. It always came out when she was. Indecision suddenly flitted, making me wonder if it was the proper time to interrupt it.
She threw her head back again, stepping backward. I didn’t get to move away in time, and she bumped into me.
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Her head turned in my direction just as she said the apology. The smile froze.
Our eyes met, and I was frozen in place, too.
It was like my breath was knocked out of me, and based on her expression, the same thing was happening to her. She devoured me with her eyes, inciting a hunger in me that made me want to act right away. I probably had the same expression on, because I certainly couldn’t stop looking at her and wanting her.
Shit. I wanted her so badly, it should be illegal.
Somehow, I managed to control myself from carrying her over my shoulders and taking her away from here—a totally barbaric move, I knew, and I should be better than that. I cleared my throat, scanning my mind for words to say to her. There was already a lot of damage done because of the tactless words I said before, especially my comparison to Tanya.
How could I start making up for it?
I cleared my throat again. “Congratulations, Honey.”
The wary look on her face cleared enough for her to give me a tentative smile. What I wouldn’t give to have her beaming at me freely like before. “Thanks. I’m glad you could be here.”
“I’m glad to be here, too.”
Uncertainty flashed in her eyes, and I didn’t know where it was coming from until she spoke again. “I heard you had a talk with your ex-wife.”
Sara probably told her. I nodded. “Yeah. A long talk.” She looked around, but I shook my head. “She’s not here now. She left.”
“Oh.”
I took a step forward. Another, watching her eyes flare. I still didn’t know how to start, so I decided to just go for it.
“Can I have a dance with you?”