“Do you have time to talk today?”

“Always for you,” Ma replied.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

I threw the phone in the passenger seat and headed toward my parents’ house. I needed to talk to my ma and figure out what to do about Suzy. I figured there was no better person than a woman who had given birth to five children.

Mia, Mike’s wife, spent the day with Suzy. She offered to help out so I could go into work. Before I headed home, I decided to stop and talk with my mother and get her thoughts on our relationship. Ma had never guided me wrong, and I knew she’d say the right thing to make me feel better.

After I sat down at the table, she slid a cup of coffee in front of me and patted my hand. “What’s bothering you, Joe?”

“It’s Suzy, Ma. I’m worried about her…about us.”

“Be patient with her. She’s been through a lot.”

My finger moved over the rim of the mug, and I watched a stray coffee ground that floated across the top. “I know. She thinks I can’t possibly want her. Her body’s changed, but I love it the same. She’s the only one for me, and I’m struggling to find a way to convey that message.”

“Joseph.” She touched my hand that had been resting on the table. “There’s nothing you can do to make her feel that way. I’ve seen you with her. Watched you for years. You love that woman something fierce. She needs to realize it for herself. You need to get her into a good therapist, baby. Postpartum depression is a bitch.”

I gave her a halfhearted smile. “It started before the babies arrived.”

“You’ve never been pregnant, Joe. God,” she said, rubbing her stomach. “I still remember feeling as big as a house. There wasn’t a moment I felt sexy the entire time. Your body becomes distorted and enormous. I know exactly how Suzy feels. I didn’t understand how your father could possibly be attracted to me. Just give her time or make an appointment with someone. She’ll be okay, it’ll just take some time.”

“I can’t wait, Ma. I can’t. Every day, I feel like she’s slipping further and further away. I can’t sit by idly and watch it happen. I refuse to do it.”

“Why don’t you talk to Mia when you get home today? See what she says about Suzy and then go from there. I’m sure she can refer you to someone.”

“What’s wrong with Suzy?” Pop asked when he walked into the kitchen, still holding a golf club in his hand.

“Oh, just baby stuff, Sal.” Ma stood quickly, walking toward my father and wrapping her arms around him. “How did you do today?”

“I beat the piss out of the old guy.” He smiled, proud of his accomplishment.

“You really should let him win sometimes.”

“Hell no, Mar. No man in his right mind lets another one win just because of his age. If he beats me, it’ll be fair and square.”

“But he’s one of our biggest donors,” Ma told him, and she pushed him in the chest, pretending to be mad.

“I always beat him and he still gives the money. Any idea why, dear?”

She scurried over to the coffeepot and poured a cup for him. “Enlighten me.”

He sat down across from me and rested the club in the corner near the window. “Every time we play, we wager on his donation. If he wins, I pay his money every year. If I win, he doubles his donation.”

My mother turned, cup in hand, and gaped at my father. “All these years I thought he was generous, but you’ve just been beating him into submission.”

My father’s crooked smile and wink made my stomach queasy. “He’s not the only one.”

“Salvatore!” She shot him the look of death before changing the subject. “By the way, your brother called from Chicago.”

My head jerked back slightly. “I thought he was still in prison.”

Pop waved his hand. “Nah, the old bastard’s out. He’s having some trouble with the bar and wanted my advice.”

“What’s going on with the bar?” I asked.

“You don’t want to know,” he said and scrubbed his hands down his face. “Santino is his own man and doesn’t always live life like the rest of us.”

“He sure was a handsome devil, though,” Ma added.

“Oh, yeah, Mar?” Pop reached out and rubbed her cheek. “Don’t forget who owns you.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. I was my father. Yikes. “I’m out. I can’t listen anymore, and I’m sure Suzy could use some help.”

“You never could handle our love.” Pop chuckled and slid his arm around Ma’s back as she came to stand next to him.

“There’s only so much of it I can take before the bile rises up my throat. You two have fun.” I started toward the door, leaving them to whatever they had planned next.

“I plan on it!” Pop yelled just as I turned the handle.

“Gross,” I muttered, walking into the sunshine, wishing I could scrub the last few minutes from my mind.

---

When I walked through the front door, Mia had Rosie in her arms, sitting on the couch. “Where’s Suzy?” I asked before tossing my keys on the small table near the door in the foyer.

“Sleeping. She was exhausted.” Mia smiled down at the baby and tickled her feet. “I miss the time when they’re little.” She sighed.

“You can come over any time and babysit, sis.”

She laughed and pushed back her straight, brown hair. “I may just take you up on that.”

Sitting down next to her, I looked toward the stairs. “Are you sure she’s asleep?”

“Completely. She was like a zombie and lay down about thirty minutes ago. I figure she’ll be out for at least another hour.”

“She’s been staying up at night with the babies. I keep trying to get her back to bed and I stay up as long as I can, but damn, she’s stubborn.”

“That’s part of being a mom, Joe.”

“I want to talk to you about something, Mia. But this stays between us. Understand?” I glanced down at Rosie just as her eyes closed.

“You know I won’t say a word. What’s up?”

“It’s Suzy. She’s been really depressed. I don’t know what to do to help her. I wanted to know what you thought after spending the day with her.”

She adjusted her body to face me and her hazel eyes bored into me. “Now that you mention it, I was going to talk to you about getting her to talk to someone. Typically, she’s so bubbly and happy, but there’s something off, which is completely normal for some women after giving birth. But you never want to let things fester.”

I rubbed my hands against my jeans. “Do you know of anyone she can talk with?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you the number for the woman I saw after Lily was born.”

My eyebrows shot up because I never knew Mia had postpartum depression. “You went through it too?”

“It’s common, Joe. Happens to the best of us. Hormones are all out of whack in our bodies before the baby is born, and especially after. Having a new little one is exhausting, and it can make us question everything. Just make sure to get her in to speak with Karen as soon as possible.”

“Text me the number later and I’ll set it up.”

“Can do.” She leaned forward, holding out Rosie. “I better run and get home. I’m sure Mike and Lily have destroyed the house.”

“That’s a given.” I laughed. He was a human wrecking ball, and his little girl was just a small version of him.

“Give Suzy my love. Call me whenever you need a reprieve.”

“I will,” I told her before she gathered her things and left.

Sitting in the living room with Rosie in my arms, I wondered how long it would be before I had my wife back. I missed her bubbly sunshine. The kind where a simple look could have me giddy with excitement.

We’d get there again. I’d wait, even if took a lifetime.

---

Suzy lay sprawled out on the bed with her robe wrapped tightly around her when I pushed open the door. I didn’t speak as I crawled into the bed next to her and pulled her against me. Burying my face in her hair, I let her scent surround me—the strawberries and sweetness that I loved so much.

“I’m so tired,” she whispered and curled into me. “So tired.”

“Why don’t we go to sleep, love?” I brushed the hair off her neck, exposing her skin and resisting the urge to kiss it.

“I don’t think I can sleep.” She sighed and stared at the wall.

I hoisted myself up on my elbow and pulled backward so I could see her face. My stomach knotted at the distant look in her eyes. “Sugar, I think you need some help.”

She dragged her eyes to mine, staring at me for a moment before squeezing them shut. “I think you’re right, Joe.”

I stroked her cheek, wishing I could take her pain away. “I love you more than life itself. I’ll be with you every step of the way, love.”

She stared up at me with tears in her eyes. “Thanks, baby. You can’t help me out of this, though.”

“I know,” I said, wiping away the tears as they fell. “I’ll make an appointment for you to talk to someone.”

She turned to her side, weeping into my shirt. I rocked her, rubbing her back, and said a silent prayer for the love of my life.