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Hopeless Heart by Rebecca King (7)

 

“So, you are going to stay with your relation for a while so you can decide where to go from there,” Mr Parker began. It wasn’t a question.

Georgiana nodded.

“Then that is what you shall do,” Mr Parker smiled. “I hope you get the answers you are looking for.”

“I need to find out who I am,” she sighed.

“Well, might I be of some use?”

Georgiana looked at him and laughed.

Mr Parker shrugged deprecatingly. “There is nothing else to do here. I am not going to break your confidences. What kind of things do you like to do with your time?”

“Well-” Skinny dipping immediately came to mind but she couldn’t tell him that. She considered what to tell him, but the more she tried to come up with something else, the more she contemplated skinny dipping. Her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment.

“Be bold and daring,” he prompted. “Unless you push your boundaries, you will never discover what truly holds your interest.”

“I have recently tried skinny dipping,” she burst out, her cheeks now bright red.

Mr Parker looked shocked for a moment before he coughed and averted his gaze. “And?”

“It was cold, but something I would definitely try again,” she replied boldly.

“Is that all?” Mr Parker asked. “I wouldn’t recommend you do it often.”

“I know, the cold,” she replied.

“No, your reputation,” he corrected.

Georgiana was going to shake her head but then stopped. She hadn’t been caught skinny dipping, she had been seen kissing Will–it was different. Or was it? Either way she looked at it, she had been caught by one of the village’s worst gossips and her reputation now lay in tatters around her feet.

Mr Parker sensed there was something she wasn’t telling him but decided not to push. Instead, he tried a different method of getting information out of her.

“What else would you like to try?” He wondered just how daring she was and glanced around the empty carriage. “Do you like to travel?”

“No,” Georgiana replied. “It is hot, dusty, uncomfortable, and tiresome. I prefer to be at home.”

“Alright then.” Mr Parker turned his attention outside of the window while he thought about the type of activities a young woman Georgiana’s age would be interested in.

“What about dancing?”

Georgiana wrinkled her nose up. “I have two left feet,” she admitted ruefully. “Cecily has always said that she has been cursed with a clumsy child.”

Mr Parker frowned. He was starting to dislike this Cecily, and he hadn’t even met the woman.

“I do have a list,” Georgiana admitted. “Of things I should like to try.”

“Oh?” Mr Parker felt that age-old sinking sensation deep within and braced himself. “That is a mischievous glint in your eye, Miss Bentley.”

Mr Parker watched the silent play of emotions flicker across her rather striking features, and suspected that the man she had left behind had just lost someone who would have made life interesting, and intensely rewarding. While he wouldn’t condone what she was doing in fleeing her home, he had to applaud her strength. She was an extremely bright, lively, and intelligent young woman.

“You are plotting something,” he prompted when she didn’t answer.

Georgiana shrugged but still didn’t confide in him.

“There is only you and me here.”

“I am not sure,” she replied. “It isn’t something you would approve of.”

“Oh?” He was starting to worry now and wondered if he was right in not issuing many cautionary words. “I am a man of the world. I am sure you cannot tell me anything I have not seen or heard before.”

Georgiana smiled but still didn’t confide in him.

“I might be able to offer you advice, or point you in the right direction,” he prompted hopefully.

“I have a list of things I wish to do in the foreseeable future that is all. Given that I am to be living at my Aunt Ruth’s house, I shall endeavour to do them at the earliest opportunity. I don’t care what anybody says,” Georgiana declared with a defiant glint in her eye.

“Ah,” Mr Parker replied.

“Ah?” she repeated.

“Most people draw up a list of things they wish to do before they die,” he replied carefully.

“But I am not about to die,” Georgiana replied. “I just wish to do them before I begin my new life.”

“Oh? Where is that?”

“I don’t know yet,” Georgiana whispered.

“I take it that your family are likely to send this Will person after you just as soon as they find out where you are?” It sounded like an extremely unusual relationship her family had with Will if he was the son of the Earl.

“If they find out where I am before Will gets married then he will come to see me, I don’t doubt,” she replied with a grimace.

“Then don’t tell them until you have finished trying the things on your list,” Mr Parker replied flatly. There was a hint of steel in his gaze that made her study him more closely.

“Are you telling me to try it all?” she asked cautiously. “But you have no idea what they are!”

“Surprise me,” he said and sat back against the seat to wait.

Georgiana studied him for a moment. He already knew she had left home in a hurry, without her parent’s permission. After the journey ended, she wasn’t likely to see him again. What was there to lose? With a sigh, she began to tick off the list of things she wanted to experience with her fingers.

“I wish to wear a brilliant crimson dress and eat grapes,” she replied with a grin. Her grin widened when Mr Parker didn’t express any outrage or dismay but merely chuckled.

“Brilliant red?” he chortled.

“Yes. I have always been made to wear insipid pale colours, but with my hair I always look like a ghost.”

Mr Parker snorted but didn’t tell her that she was too beautiful to be like any spiritual creature. His expression remained bland while he nodded politely.

“That’s all?” There wasn’t anything too outlandish there, but when a random idea dawned on him. He did a double-take and studied her closely. “At home, I hope?”

“Oh, of course,” Georgiana whispered, scandalised at the prospect of parading around outside for the world to witness her dressed like a wanton whore.

Mr Parker nodded and mentally heaved a sigh of relief. His lips twitched. He struggled to force his face into a dead-pan expression, and waited patiently.

“I should like to play a game of poker in a proper gaming house,” she added.

“Poker?” Mr Parker’s brows lifted.

Georgiana squinted at the sound of his choked voice but saw nothing except polite interest staring back at her.

“I have watched my brothers play for hours at home but they would never allow me to join them. They said it was too complicated for me, and that I was too young,” she sighed. “So now, as an adult, I should like to play a game of poker in a proper gaming house. I must discover for myself if I can play the game, if only to understand how good I am.”

Mr Parker nodded and looked a little stymied for a moment or two.

“I should like to race a curricle,” Georgiana added.

“Drive a curricle,” Mr Parker corrected automatically but then paused when Georgiana shook her head.

“No. I should like to race one. It would be wonderful to race along at speed with the wind in my hair and just be free,” Georgiana mused with a dreamy expression on her face. “I should also like to ride bareback on a horse.”

“Good Lord,” Mr Parker murmured. He eyed her dress warily. “How do you intend to manage that in a dress?”

“Oh, I don’t intend to wear one,” Georgiana reported defiantly.

What?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that, although I should like to skinny dip again,” she replied with a nod.

Mr Parker made a few strange noises and lifted his brows at her. “Your brothers?”

Georgiana nodded. “They used to do it all the time.”

“But wouldn’t let you join in,” Mr Parker finished for her. He was starting to get the idea.

“I should like to scrump for apples. I have watched my brothers hike up trees on many occasions,” she continued.

“But they wouldn’t let you,” Mr Parker said knowingly but shook his head. “It is theft. Unless your aunt has an apple tree, you cannot climb anybody’s tree and help yourself to apples that don’t belong to you.”

“Oh, I am aware of that,” Georgiana replied with a frown. It was less exciting to scrump for apples from her aunt’s tree, though. Part of the thrill of scrumping came from the fact the tree, and apples, belonged to someone else, but she didn’t mention that to a clearly shocked Mr Parker. “I don’t intend to turn into a criminal.”

She squinted again when Mr Parker coughed and shifted in his seat. For a moment there she could have sworn he had muttered ‘thank Heaven’

“Is that it?” Mr Parker asked. “Why, I don’t consider any of that is too risqué, especially if you are discreet about them. I am sure you can find a way of fulfilling your list of things to do without causing any offense to anyone. Of course, that is assuming your aunt is fully supportive of your plans. She will be your guardian while you are with her don’t forget, and you are likely to bring scandal upon her if you are caught doing any of this.”

Georgiana waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, my aunt is a little wayward herself. She has never conformed to the requirements set out by the family either. I am sure she will be fully supportive of my plans once I have explained them to her.”

“Good,” Mr Parker replied with a firm nod. “Well, it doesn’t sound too bad,” he mused thoughtfully only to jump when Georgiana began to shake her head.

“I haven’t finished yet,” Georgiana continued and squinted at him when Mr Parker appeared to groan.

“Skinny dipping,” he whispered with a shake of his head.

“I should like to get drunk,” she announced with a grin. “I have had a little sip of the brandy in my father’s study but never truly been in my cups before. I should like to know what it feels like.”

“It makes you ill,” Mr Parker replied with relish. “Really, really, ill my dear. I shouldn’t recommend it unless you are used to drinking the stuff. Stick to Ratafia.”

“But you cannot get into your cups on that,” Georgiana replied.

“It won’t make you so poorly, though.”

Georgiana shrugged unconcernedly. “I should like to try it. Not that I have any yen for brandy, you understand? I should like to experience being drunk so that I understand why people drag themselves about so, and slur and dribble so much.”

Mr Parker started to laugh. “Your brothers,” he declared around his guffaws.

Georgiana nodded. “They didn’t realise I saw them but I did.”

“So you want to experience being drunk before you die,” Mr Parker murmured.

“Yes, and I want to spoke a pipe,” she declared with a flourish.

She was going to add that she wanted to kiss a random stranger and walk away but then realised she had done that already with Will yesterday. As far as she was concerned now he was a total stranger to her, and always would be. Quickly blocking out all memories of the steamy kisses they had shared beside the woods she turned her attention to the man seated opposite and realised he was staring thoughtfully at her again. She tried not to squirm, and turned her attention to the scene outside of the window.

Mr Parker daren’t even ask if that had come from any of her brothers as well. It was evident that Miss Georgiana Bentley, was a lady who had been confined by her life and wanted to experience all the things she had witnessed other people enjoy–or not as the case may be. It was impossible to know if she was just wayward, curious, or the same as everyone else but too controlled by those around her. Either way, he found her enchanting and secretly willed her to do everything she wanted, and more. In fact, he hoped to stay in contact with her once the journey had ended just to see how she faired with it all. Not least because he was engaged by her innocence yet intrigued by the starkly contrasting inner core of strength he saw occasionally. She was delightful.

On a darker note, he shuddered to contemplate what might happen to her if any of the adventures she wanted to experience went awry. He rather felt responsible for making sure that she retained her moral fibre so that when she returned home she did so older, wiser, yet relatively unscathed.

“I hope this Will person doesn’t succeed in talking you into going back,” he murmured softly. “But I do believe you should proceed with caution. You have to protect yourself, my dear, now that you don’t have your parents, or your brothers, or this Will around. As long as you don’t put yourself in any foolish situations there can be no harm in what you want to do.” He leaned toward her and lowered his voice conspiratorially. “Just don’t tell anybody I told you that.”

Mr Parker sighed and turned his attention to the scenery. Maybe it was a good thing that this Will was now marrying someone else. If he was the son of Lord Abrams, then Georgiana was probably freer, and would ultimately be happier, living somewhere else. If Georgiana settled for Will’s hand in marriage, then she would just be trading one set of austere rules for another and that would quell this delightfully wilful spirit so evident in the twinkle in her eyes and her future plans. Life at Abrams Manor would afford little if no opportunity for her to experience anything on her list of things to do, and he rather suspected that inner fire that drove her would eventually flicker and die.

Although he didn’t say as much, maybe Georgiana’s broken heart was a blessing in disguise.

“Well, I hope you succeed in your endeavours, and enjoy experiencing everything on your list, my dear,” Mr Parker replied jovially.

“Thank you,” Georgiana replied with a confident nod. “I shall.”

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