Kendra stops next to her car and looks back at me. “Are we sure about this?”

I move from the open doorway and walk down the porch steps to stand in front of her. “Yes. We’re sure.”

“Okay,” she says, but I can tell she’s not convinced. “But… maybe I shouldn’t go.”

Touching her chin, I lean down to kiss her. “It’s one day. You’ll be back tonight.”

“I know, but this is the first time I’m leaving for an entire day,” she says.

“Don’t you think I can handle it?” I ask.

“No, that’s not it at all,” she says. “I know you’ll be fine. I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.”

I kiss her again. “It’s okay. I’ll miss you, but you should go. This will be good for you.”

“Yeah,” she says. “You’re right. I know.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ve got this.”

“Just… be nice if you’re out and about, okay?” she says.

“Be nice?”

She smiles and puts her hand on my chest. “You know what I mean.”

I wrap my arms around her, giving her one last hug before she leaves. I step back onto the porch, my hands in my pockets, and watch her pull out of the driveway.

I am going to miss her—I hate it when she’s gone—but this will be good for her. She was invited to a large writer’s conference to be a panelist in two sessions on editing. I’m so proud of her, but I understand why she’s nervous.

After closing the front door behind me, I head into the kitchen and take a seat at the little round table.

“It’s just you and me, Peanut.”

My seven-month-old daughter, Audrey, looks up at me from the mess on her highchair tray. I left her with a few bits of very soft banana while I walked Kendra out. I had a feeling Kendra wouldn’t leave if she had to say goodbye to her again.

The banana is smeared everywhere. I wonder if any got in her mouth.

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re a mess.”

She smiles, showing the two little teeth just starting to poke through her lower gums.

“I think Mommy is worried about leaving us.” I get up and run a fresh washcloth under warm water, then wipe Audrey’s face. And hands. And arms. And neck. Jesus, this kid is sticky. “But we’ll show her, won’t we? I’m a goddamn surgeon. I can take care of my own baby for a day.”

I toss the washcloth onto the counter and glance at her again. Her bright gray eyes—which look just like mine—get bigger and her mouth closes.

“I probably shouldn’t talk like that in front of you.”

She smiles again and it gives me that warm feeling in my chest.

Despite my assurances to Kendra, I’m not sure how this day is going to go. I’ve never taken care of her by myself for more than a couple of hours. I came into this fatherhood thing without a clue as to what I’m doing. I’ve never been around kids, except for my niece, Charlotte. But I didn’t spend any time with her when she was a baby. And my own dad certainly didn’t set a good example.

Kendra is the most amazing mom on the planet, so together, we’re doing pretty well. But with her gone, it’s all on me.

“Come here, Peanut.”

I get her out of the highchair and take a moment to just hold her. She always smells so good. I lean my face down to her soft head and breathe her in.

I didn’t realize how much my life would change when I became a father. I was on board with getting pregnant—not that I knew it meant Kendra would turn me into a sperm factory for months. But I wasn’t hesitant about it. Kendra was meant to be a mom. When I asked her to marry me, I knew this was part of the deal.

But nothing could have prepared me for the moment I saw my daughter for the first time.

Kendra had a few complications with her pregnancy, and needed a C-section. So, when our baby was born, the doctor handed her to me first. I had this tiny, wet, wrinkly little thing in my arms and all I could do was stare. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

There was a lot of blinking and throat clearing on my part. If anyone suggests I cried at my daughter’s birth, I’ll tell them to fuck off.

Although maybe I teared up a little.

When Kendra said we should name her Audrey, after my mother, there was probably more throat clearing. But fuck, can you blame me? I’d just become a father for the first time, and my wife said we should name our baby after my mother who died when I was a kid. I’d challenge any man to get through that without a bunch of goddamn feelings. It’s not like I don’t have a soul.

Audrey is still in her pink pajamas; they zip up the front and have little bunny ears on the feet. When Kendra was pregnant, I swore we weren’t going to dress the baby in pink all the time. But now that she’s here, I’ll admit, pink looks pretty adorable on her.

I kiss the top of her head. “Should we get you dressed? Or do you want to be like Mommy and hang out in your pajamas all day?”

She kicks her little feet.

“Dressed it is.”

With Audrey dressed in a shirt that says Daddy’s Girl, a soft pair of pants, and little slip on shoes, we head out. I toss her diaper bag full of all the baby shit we bring everywhere now into the back, and strap her in her car seat.

“See, Peanut? I’ve got this.”

First stop is the gym. I’ve never brought Audrey with me before, but Kendra says she’ll be fine in the daycare. There’s a big window where parents can check up on their kids, but I’m still eying the whole thing with skepticism while I sign her in. I’m not sure I want to hand my daughter over to some stranger.

The girl behind the desk looks like she’s twelve. I pass her the diaper bag. She shoulders it, then reaches for Audrey.

I hand Audrey over and she looks back at me. She seems fine—she’s such a laid-back baby, it takes a lot to piss her off. Still, it’s hard to walk away.

After changing clothes and warming up on the treadmill, I go back to the daycare window so I can peek inside. Another girl is holding Audrey, propped on her hip, while she walks around. I guess that’s fine. She isn’t crying or anything.

I go back to my workout, but after a couple of sets of pull ups, I wonder how Audrey’s doing. I head to the daycare and look through the window again. They have her on a blanket on the floor. One corner of my mouth turns up a little. She’s so good at sitting up on her own now.

But she’s just sitting there.

“Hey,” I say to the girl at the front desk. “Someone should give Audrey her taggy blanket. She likes the texture. It’s in her diaper bag.”

She glances back. “Oh, okay. Um, I think she’s fine, though.”

I stand there for a second, my hands on my hips, my eyes moving from the girl to Audrey. She does seem okay; she’s watching a couple of toddlers. But if she gets bored, she doesn’t have anything to play with.

“Taggy blanket. It’s in the diaper bag.” I turn around and go back to the weights.

About ten minutes later, I’m thinking about my girl again. Is she okay in there? I look through the daycare window and at first, I don’t see her. Where the fuck is my kid?

I’m about two seconds away from losing it when I spot her. She’s on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor, chewing on a blue plastic ring. Someone must have moved her; she’s not crawling yet. But what does she have in her mouth? That’s not one of her toys. What the hell? It’s probably dirty. I don’t want her trading slobber with some other little cretin.

Fuck this. I’m out.

I run to the locker room so I can change back into my dark gray Henley and slacks. At the daycare, I hand the card they gave me to the girl at the front. “Audrey Reid.”

“Done already?” the girl asks, giving me a cheerful smile.

I don’t smile back. “Yeah. Baby, please.”

“Okay.” She goes into the back and comes out with Audrey and our diaper bag. I grab Audrey first and then take the bag.

“Bye, Audrey,” she says in a singsong voice.

We head back to the car and I get her strapped in. I have a patient to check on at the hospital, but I wonder if I should take Audrey home and feed her first. Or does she need a nap? I wonder what Kendra would do. I look at her for a second and she chews on her fingers, getting drool on her chin.

I’m not usually so indecisive.

“Okay, Peanut. Daddy has to do a little work today. Shouldn’t take too long.” I kiss her forehead, hoping I’m making the right call.

My patient is a post-mastectomy reconstruction that I performed yesterday. Surgery went beautifully. Strictly speaking, I don’t have to go in, but I want to check on how she’s doing.

At the hospital, I find a spot in the physicians’ area of the parking garage. I get Audrey situated in the baby sling Kendra got me. It’s black and goes over one shoulder, making a pouch where Audrey can sit in front. I could carry her around like this all day, and if she gets sleepy, it’s easy for her to snuggle in and nap.

My patient is up on the third floor. We get out of the elevator and I absently rub Audrey’s little hand while we walk through the corridor. It seems like everyone we pass stops and stares—the women, anyway. I don’t know what the hell they’re looking at. I’m pretty sure they’ve all seen a baby before.

A woman in blue scrubs comes toward me. “Oh, Dr. Reid.” She reaches out to touch Audrey. “She is so precious.”

I angle myself away so she can’t get her hands on my baby. I don’t like it when other people touch her. “Thanks.”

She pulls her hand back and I walk past her toward my patient’s room.

“Hi Dr. Reid.” Christy McCormick, my patient, smiles at me from her bed.

I come into the room and log in at the workstation. “How’s your pain today?”

“I feel okay,” she says. “Sore, but it’s not unbearable.”

“Good. You’ve been out of bed?”

“Yeah, the nurse had me up twice today,” she says. “It actually felt good to walk around.”

I nod and check a few more things in her chart.

“Is this your daughter?” she asks.

“Sure is.”

Audrey bangs her hand on the counter and makes some bubbly noises while I check over Christy’s chart.

“She’s beautiful.”

I glance over at Christy and crack a smile. You bet your ass my daughter is beautiful. “Thanks. She looks like my wife.”

“That’s so sweet,” Christy says. “I’m glad you brought her with you.”

“Looks like you’re doing fine,” I say. “I expect you’ll be ready for discharge tomorrow.”

“Okay, thank you,” she says.

A nurse in blue scrubs comes in. She stops in front of me and her eyes move from my face, down to Audrey, then back up again.

“Wow,” she says, under her breath. “I never knew a baby sling could be so hot.”

“They’re not.” What is with the women in this place?

She blinks at me, her face flushing. “Oh. Sorry. Hi, Dr. Reid.”

“Looks like the patient is doing fine, but page me if anything changes,” I say.

“Of course,” she says, still staring at me.

I raise my eyebrows and glance between Christy and the nurse. “Okay, then.”

Audrey babbles as I walk out into the corridor and I fiddle with her little fingers again.

A man walks down the hall toward me and I stop in my tracks. It’s my father.

Considering he’s the head of surgery here, I don’t see him very often. But only about ten percent of my patients come to this hospital. I’ve only spoken to him a handful of times since I severed ties with my former partner, Ian. My dad lost a lot of money when I left Ian’s practice, and I doubt he’ll ever forgive me for that.

He knows I got married, but as I glance down at Audrey, I realize he probably doesn’t know Kendra and I had a baby.

Huh. This should be interesting.

“Weston,” he says, and the lines in his forehead deepen as he looks me up and down. “What is that?”

“She,” I say, emphasizing the word, “is my daughter.”

“Does she belong to that woman you married, or someone else?” he asks.

A knot of anger forms in my gut. “What kind of a question is that?”

“A reasonable one,” he says. “A friend of mine is a family law attorney. If you get into trouble with child support issues, let me know.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I say under my breath. “I’m not you, Dad.”

“I didn’t father any illegitimate children,” he says. “I did the smart thing and had a vasectomy right after you were born.”

I stare at him for a second and the hot flash of anger I always feel when I see him dissipates. He really has no idea what he missed. My entire childhood, I was ignored by him at best—treated like a burden at worst. I’ll never understand how a man could have a child and not see the miracle of it. How he could be so wrapped up in his own bullshit, he failed at the most important job he ever had.

Looking at him now, feeling my baby girl’s hand wrapped around my finger, I realize something. I’m not angry at him anymore. I feel sorry for him.

When I fell in love with Kendra, I fell hard. Before her, I hadn’t experienced real love—at least, not since my mother was alive—and it was both addictive and life-changing. Now that we have Audrey, those two are my entire world. Loving them makes my life worth living.

What does my father have? A dead wife he didn’t care about? A long string of girlfriends who never meant anything to him? He has money, I suppose. For all the good it does him.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I say. “You’re missing out.”

He furrows his brow. “Missing out on what?”

I kiss the top of Audrey’s head. “Everything.”

I don’t bother to say goodbye as I walk away. There’s nothing I can do to change my father. He’ll probably never realize what an idiot he is. He has a beautiful granddaughter, and he’s not going to be a part of her life.

Poor bastard.

I head home with my baby girl. Maybe I won’t always know what she needs or how to best take care of her. I’ll probably make mistakes. But is there anything more important for me to do than love her?

Even an asshole like me can do that—and do it well.

When she starts to cry while we’re stuck in traffic, I don’t let it get to me. I reach back to stroke her head and talk to her in a soothing voice. I know she’ll be fine. There’s no way I’m going to fail at this dad thing.

We get home and she’s still fussy. I cradle her in my arms and feed her one of the bottles Kendra left for her. She falls asleep and I hold her for a while. Even as little as she is—she takes after Kendra, so she’s petite—my arm eventually gets tired. I put her down in her crib so she can finish her nap.

We’re at home for the rest of the day. She wakes up and I feed her again. I play with her on the floor for a while, then put her in the little bouncy saucer thing. She slobbers all over the toys. I give her some solid food for dinner and I think she wears more of it than she eats.

That’s a problem easily solved by a bath. When she’s clean and dry, I walk around with her for a while, smelling her hair. Soon it’s time for another bottle and her sleepy little eyes close.

We’re on the couch, so I stretch out and carefully move her so she’s lying with her head on my chest. I could get up and put her in her crib, but I’m enjoying the feel of her warm weight on top of me.

Kendra’s hand on my shoulder and her voice whispering my name wakes me.

“Hey.” She strokes Audrey’s hair.

“Hey.” I didn’t realize I fell asleep. Audrey is still sleeping soundly on my chest. “Did you just get home?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ve been sitting here watching you sleep for the last few minutes. You two are so adorable, I thought I might die. How was your day?”

“It was good. How was the conference?”

“A lot of fun,” she says. “I missed you, but I’m glad I went.”

She smiles and I reach out to draw her in for a kiss. Her lips are soft, and I enjoy the familiarity of her mouth against mine.

“I love you, Kendra.”

“I love you too.” She gently lifts our daughter and cradles her in her arms. “I’ll get her to bed.”

With Audrey settled, Kendra and I undress and get into bed. I pull her against me and hold her close.

“Thank you.” I kiss her forehead.

“For what?” she asks.

“For you, and Audrey. For this.”

She tightens her arms around me. “Thank you.”

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? This thing Kendra and I have, it goes both ways. I’d do anything—sacrifice anything—for my girls. My wife would do the same for me.

There’s really nothing better.

A few hours later, we wake up to the sound of Audrey crying. I roll over and kiss Kendra’s forehead.

“Go back to sleep, baby,” I say. “I’ve got this.”

* * *

Want to read more about the Lawson family? to get Her Best Friend, a short story about Caleb’s daughter, Charlotte.

Come hang out with me in , my Facebook reader group! We’re all about gushing over book boyfriends, enjoying hot man candy, girl talk overshares, inappropriate humor, and lots of laughs.

Keep reading for a preview of .