Chapter Fifteen
Indi
I huffed as I dropped my backpack on the leafy forest floor. “Christ, that’s heavy,” I muttered.
Blake turned around and looked at me. “I’ll carry it,” he said.
I shook my head, not wanting to admit I needed his help. “No, I’m fine. I just need a quick break.”
Blake smiled and nodded, and I knew he knew exactly what I was up to. It’d been like this between us for the last few days—me trying to act nonchalant and totally self-sufficient, and Blake acting as if he had no idea I secretly wanted to screw his brains out.
Well, not so secretly… but I digress.
It was Saturday now, and our first filmed challenge for the show was underway. Every couple was given two heavy packs, a map, and a compass, and the task was to hike up a mountain and through a forest to find our way to a camping spot. Each couple left fifteen minutes apart to minimize the chances of one group simply following another. The point was we had to figure it all out ourselves, working as a team. We had GoPro cameras attached to our chests to film the proceedings, and when we arrived at the campsite, the devices would be replaced with proper cameras again, as the film crew were already there waiting.
Upon our arrival, we needed to unpack our bags and put up a tent together to complete the challenge. When the episode went live online, each couple would be rated via viewer polls in terms of how well they worked together, how good their chemistry was, and so on. Blake and I probably wouldn’t score the highest, given our relatively cool treatment of each other during the hike, but we were both experienced with the great outdoors due to us both growing up in a rural area, so we wouldn’t score the lowest, either.
As such, we were one of the first to arrive at the campsite, and we were the first to begin putting our tent up in our designated spot. Two cameramen hovered around us as we pulled the tent out of the bag. Blake immediately started putting tent poles together and sorting out ropes, and I pored over the instructions that were included in the bag.
“Okay, in the tips and tricks section, it says we should erect it with the front facing away from the wind. Can you tell which way it’s blowing?” I asked, glancing around and trying to remember which way was north.
Blake looked up. “Sorry, I was concentrating on the ropes and all I heard was ‘erect’ and ‘blowing’. Is that a promise for later tonight?”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. The nearby cameramen looked amused too. Score one for us. I knew the viewers would like Blake’s boyish wit.
Over the other side of the campsite, I could hear other couples arguing as they slowly filtered in from the surrounding forest. Corinne Ashworth was shouting at her husband, Jason, for getting them lost during their hike, and Jana Ramirez was snottily arguing with her husband, Chris, about something she claimed to have seen on the way up the mountain. She allegedly saw something resembling Bigfoot, but Chris was telling her over and over again that she’d simply seen a deer out of the corner of her eye and her brain was playing tricks on her.
“I know what I saw!” Jana was yelling now. “It was hairy and brown and huge!”
“For the fifteenth time, it was a deer!” Chris shouted back.
I looked over at Blake, an amused smile playing on my lips, and he met my gaze. His eyes were crinkled with mirth too, and a silent exchange passed between us as he briefly glanced at the fighting couples and then looked back to me. We might argue, but aren’t you glad we aren’t like them? his face seemed to say. I nodded, agreeing completely. All couples argued, but at least we weren’t going crazy on camera and embarrassing ourselves.
Wait, there I was again, thinking of us as a real couple.
Silly me.
When everyone was done with their tents, we all gathered in the middle of the campsite to help build an enormous bonfire. Then we sat on logs around it, toasting hot dogs and marshmallows in the flames while we chatted the night away.
The entire crew of the show was here with us, including the exec producer, Ed. His son Stephen was flirting with a very young lighting technician, and I rolled my eyes. Stephen was a junior producer on the show, but he was honest-to-god useless. He’d barely done anything so far, and it seemed like he left all the real work up to the other producers.
Goddamn nepotism.
Blake nudged me as I swallowed my tenth marshmallow for the evening. “Looking forward to spending the night in the tent with me?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes.”
His face brightened. “Really?”
“Yep. As much as I’m looking forward to my next root canal.” I gave him a cheeky smile.
He chuckled. “Hilarious,” he said sarcastically. “Hey, how do you think we did in the challenge?”
“Pretty good. If we don’t come at least third in the poll for this week, I’ll be surprised.”
“Same.” He hesitated and looked out over the fire. The dancing flames cast shadows over the angles of his face, and I was glad I was seated, because my legs suddenly felt weak. “Remember when Dawson and I used to have those campouts in your backyard?” he asked.
I swallowed hard. Yes, I definitely remembered those occasions. “Uh-huh.”
“Good times, huh? I remember you came out a few times to toast marshmallows with us. But when we got older you weren’t allowed anymore, because we’d always sneak a bunch of beers in and we didn’t want you snitching to your parents.”
I turned my gaze away from him and looked into the fire. I remembered one particular campout Blake had with my brother very well. It involved a whole bunch of guys from the football team. They set up tents in our expansive backyard, then invited a bunch of girls from the cheerleading squad over. Mom and Dad were tired, so they were in bed and fast asleep by nine-thirty, and they snored straight through the raucous laughter and behavior.
I didn’t.
I stood at my bedroom window upstairs, peeking down and watching all the fun. I wished I wasn’t still thirteen. Wished I was older, more mature. Wished I could be like those lanky cheerleaders with their straight, shiny locks and skinny legs. The girls who always seemed to get the guys.
I kept watching. Dawson disappeared around the back of the garden shed with a friend to smoke a cigarette, and Blake stayed behind in the main party area between all the tents. There was a brunette girl giggling on his lap, and she slid higher up and parted her legs. I could see her panties under the short skirt she wore.
Blake absentmindedly stroked her bare thighs while he finished his beer, and I saw the girl close her eyes and let out a sound that was probably a moan. I couldn’t hear, so I could only guess by her facial expressions.
I knew I should turn away, but I couldn’t. I was fascinated. I’d never seen anything like this in real life. Never even thought about it.
The girl on Blake’s lap whispered something in his ear, her hair enveloping them like a curtain. When she moved back, I saw a grin on Blake’s face, and he nodded. He scooped her up in his arms like she weighed nothing at all, and he carried her into one of the tents.
After that, I could just make out their shadows in the tent. The girl was lying on her back, but she sat up for a second to strip off her sweater and bra. Then she lay back down, and Blake moved on top of her, slow and grinding in his movements. I wondered what it felt like for her. Wondered what it would be like if he touched me instead.
A blush warmed my cheeks, and I felt my nipples pebble beneath my thin pajama top. Something was happening to me. Something down…there. I felt hot and tingly. Wet, too. I dashed to the bathroom, wondering if it was my period, but there was no blood on my panties. I didn’t know what it was, although something deep inside told me it was because of Blake.
Now that I was over a decade older and reflecting on that memory, I knew exactly what it was. That was my very first moment of sexual awakening.
It was all because of Blake.
“What are you thinking about, Indi?” he asked, turning to me as he poked the fire with a long stick.
I wondered if it would be weird to tell him about that memory. I quickly decided that yes, it probably would be. It would sound totally pathetic. Knowing Blake, he was probably already watching hardcore porn on the internet when he was in his early teens, so to hear me admit that I didn’t get turned on by anything at that age until I saw him with a girl one night would make me look tragic.
I stood up. “I was just thinking about going to bed,” I said, feigning a yawn. “I’m pretty pooped.”
“Oh. I can come with you if you want?”
“No, it’s cool. You stay out here with everyone else and have fun,” I said, forcing myself to smile. I needed to be alone for a while, try to sort out my thoughts and feelings before my memories of Blake drove me crazy.
His brows furrowed, and he nodded slowly. “All right. Goodnight, Indi.”
I didn’t miss the disappointment in his expression, but I turned around anyway, calling out over my shoulder as I went.
“Night, Blake.”