Chapter 1

“How do I look?” Corinne asked me. We’d been preparing for prom for hours. I was over-the-moon happy that we were going to prom with my boyfriend, Seth, and Corinne’s boyfriend, Taylor. The guys were a year older than us and graduating from high school. Even though Corinne and I had been in the same class since junior high, we had only become close friends because of Taylor and Seth. They had been best friends since kindergarten.

“OK, but you could push your boobs a bit more into your dress, to be honest,” I said.

“Are you nuts?” she shot back furiously, plucked her neckline into place, and almost bared her A cups, which were already pushed up beyond the point of ridiculousness.

“This bra is so rad,” she added, while looking at herself in the mirror. “Totally worth the seventy bucks.”

“If you think so,” I said with a shrug.

“You could let your girls see the light of day a bit more, too,” Corinne said, turning to me and then pulling the V of my dress down and to the sides so forcefully I was afraid it’d rip.

“Stop it!” I stammered and put everything back in place, which was how I felt comfortable. Normally, I don’t wear low-cut necklines or shoes with hellish heels like those Corinne talked me into. But it was prom, and this evening I was putting on the works.

“You’re impossible, Annie,” Corinne said. “I have to fake it with a seventy-dollar Victoria’s Secret bra, but nature just gave them to you and you won’t even put them on display. Excuse me—but how often do you get to go to the prom and wear a beautiful dress?” She tenderly brushed over the delicate pink pleat that flowed along her body. “The other chicks there are all a year older than us, so we’ve got to work a bit harder to get them to notice us,” she added, before trying to nudge her breasts into the perfect “here we are” position.

I rolled my eyes. “Are you done yet? The guys will be here any minute.”

“Yup, just gotta pack my purse.” She frantically put together her survival kit for the evening. Things were scattered across her usually neat bedroom, which now looked like it had been bombed. Lip gloss, compact, hairspray, barrettes and bobby pins, cell phone, condoms and . . .

“Tape?” I held up the little roll, confused. “What do you need that for?”

“You think nature gave me hips this narrow?” She shot back as if that would explain it all and snatched the roll from my hand. It took me a minute to get that she used the tape to stretch her nonexistent hip fat toward her back and hold it there. I had a laughing fit, and Corinne shot me an angry look just as the doorbell rang.

“Mom, can you get the door please?” she shouted.

“I’m in the bathroom,” her mother shouted back.

“I’ll get it.” Corinne’s father’s voice boomed through the house.

Suddenly, I got nervous. In a moment, Seth would see me for the first time in a dress—plus heavy makeup and four-inch heels. Seth and I had been together for six months, but he only knew me in jeans and T-shirts. I never wore more than eyeliner, lip gloss, and, sometimes, earrings.

When I heard Corinne’s dad greeting Seth and Taylor, I started down the stairs, my heart pounding.

“Hi,” I said nervously when my boyfriend’s wide-eyed look fell on me. Taylor also stared at me.

“Annie . . . holy sh . . . oh, excuse me, Mr. Mason . . . I mean”—Seth cleared his throat and looked me over—“Anna-Marie Blazon, wow! You’re a knockout!”

I was embarrassed and looked down at my hands—which wasn’t something I’d normally do. I almost stumbled over the last two steps, but Corinne charged past me down the stairs and threw herself into Taylor’s arms. Her dad only shook his head, wished us lots of fun in a mumble, and went back to the living room.

“Enjoy the evening”—Corinne’s mom’s voice floated down from the bathroom—“and take care!”

Corinne’s mom always said that when we left. Not “Be careful,” “Don’t be back late,” “Don’t drink,” or “Stay out of trouble.” Instead she just said, “Take care,” but—come to think of it—that really covered all the bases.

Seth stared at me all the way to the car. No wonder, he probably didn’t really recognize me in this getup. I, too, was blown away by his appearance. His standard T-shirt and jeans were replaced by a starched white dress shirt, and a perfectly knotted tie, and a dark gray suit that highlighted his gray-green eyes. He’d also gotten his hair cut. The slightly curled, dark-blond hair that almost covered his ears a few days ago was shorter. I always thought Seth was exceptionally handsome, but tonight he looked like a GQ model.

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he said, his eyes wide with surprise, when we’d climbed into the back seat of Taylor’s mom’s minivan.

“And I can’t believe how handsome you are,” I answered, leaning in for a kiss. As always, he tasted like fresh peppermint gum.

“Your lipstick,” Corinne nagged me from the passenger seat, so I detached myself from Seth’s soft lips with a smile and gently wiped away the touch of color I had left there with my thumb.

Seth and I were World Champion Kissers. We kissed whenever there was an opportunity—before school, during breaks, after school, his place, mine, when no one was around, at the movies, at parties, standing, lying down, sitting. We kissed any time, any place, and in any position. Seth wasn’t the first guy I’d kissed, but it was the best with him by a mile. I was totally in love.

So, it sucked that he was finishing high school and heading to college. I’d be without him for my senior year. I really meant to not think of it tonight, but now it was too late. I became anxious. My dress suddenly felt too tight.

“I can’t believe you’re moving to Bellingham,” I whispered. Seth had deliberately applied to schools nearby, and Western Washington University accepted him. He even got a basketball scholarship. He was going to study economics and play for the WWU Vikings in the fall.

He tenderly took my face into his hands. “It’s not the end of the world. Just two and a half hours by car. I’ll be back so often you’ll be sick of me.”

“Still . . . Bellingham is almost in Canada,” I said. “And Canada’s a different country. That means you’re almost living in a different country.”

We’d discussed everything in detail. Seth had been accepted by two other schools but decided for WWU because it was only about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from Lakewood.

“Two and a half hours,” he repeated. “Two if I speed a bit.” He grinned, and I managed a smile.

“And we’ve still got all summer before then,” he added to cheer me up.

True. This summer would be ours. I clasped my hand in his and kissed him. “I’ll miss you, Seth,” I said softly.

“I’ll miss you, too.” He carefully brushed his thumb over my cheek. “But it’s just a year, and when you get into UW—and you will—you’ll move to Seattle, and then it’s only a one-and-a-half-hour drive.”

I pressed my lips together and slowly nodded. I’d already prepared everything for my application to the University of Washington in Seattle. I wanted to study biology—my favorite subject. You could call it my passion. And because I’d won the National Junior Scientist Competition last year, I figured my odds of being accepted were pretty good. Seth was even more optimistic and thought they’d be stupid not to take me. Money was an issue. My parents couldn’t support me. Or rather, they wouldn’t.

“You’ll have to see to your own extravagance,” was my mother’s answer when I talked to her about it. A strange definition of “extravagance.” She’d prefer if I looked for a job right after high school rather than “being a drag on them,” as she described it. I wasn’t going to let her wreck my big dream, at least as far as my calling was concerned. But I didn’t want to have a student loan before even getting a job, so I’d been researching scholarships for the last two months. There were some I met the requirements for. I’d even apply for a full scholarship at Harvard—my long shot. But that was wishful thinking. I didn’t believe I stood a chance of getting in. Besides, UW was my first choice because I’d be close to Seth.

“Oh, stop being such a stick in the mud,” Corinne scolded me from the front seat. “It’s prom night! So, back straight, belly in, breasts out, and smile! They will be taking pictures everywhere.”

I took a deep breath and blew off the sadness. She was right. Tonight was about having fun.

Taylor steered the minivan into the parking lot of Clover Park High. A lively crowd had already gathered outside the entrance to the school. The girls oohhhed and ahhhed at each other over their dresses and hair, each one sure she was the most beautiful. The guys patted each other on the shoulder and adjusted their lapels George Clooney–style. What a zoo.

“You look fabulous, Annie!” Claudelle, a senior Seth had dated for almost two months, tromped up, on very high heels, next to us. Her bottle-blonde hair was swept up into a precarious updo that swayed with every step.

“Oh, look at your dress! That emerald green sooo matches your eyes. My dress came all the way from Italy. Custom tailored. The fabric alone cost forty dollars a yard, but my mom paid without flinching. You can always tell expensive. Just feel it. How much did your dress cost?” she rattled on, then put her hand on Seth’s shoulder. “Isn’t it wild we’re graduating? Hard to believe high school is already over, isn’t it? Real life’s going to start. Oh. My. God. I am so excited. I’m going to New York!” She let out a short scream, took a step toward me, and eyed my modest hair.

“Where did you get your hair done? It took three hours to do my hair and nails and makeup. I was at the salon for five hours. Let me tell you, it was sooo horrible. Three of them worked on me. I finally said ‘Enough!’ But they couldn’t be stopped. They said they hadn't had such a gorgeous girl in ages.” She giggled and gave Seth a seductive fake-eyelash wink.

“Corinne,” I said.

“What?” Claudelle looked at me astonished.

“Corinne did my hair.” I liked my long brunette hair. Normally, I wore it down. But, today, Corinne had pinned it up in an elegant knot. I was more than happy with the result.

“So . . . you didn’t go to a salon?” Claudelle asked.

I might as well have confessed I’d been wearing the same underwear for two weeks. I only smiled. “See you inside, Claudelle.”

“Have fun!” she called after us and tromped back to her girlfriends.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Seth sideways.

“Don’t say it.” He looked away embarrassed.

“Don't say what? Don’t remind you that you and Miss Airhead were a thing? I’d never do that.”

“Did you see Claudelle?” Corinne asked when she and Taylor caught up with us. “Her hair looks like a sheep exploded and got it on with a bird’s nest.”

Taylor laughed out loud. “I bet Seth really misses her,” he said, then raised his voice to imitate Claudelle’s squeaky Paris Hilton tone. “Let’s go to the mall, Seth? Would you please take my picture from behind, Seth? What do you think of my nail polish, Seth? Why don’t you introduce me to your parents, Seth?”

Seth rolled his eyes annoyed. “That was nearly two years ago. Get over it.”

When we walked into the gym, I was afraid I’d have to shield my eyes from all the kitsch. Dearest Claudelle was the chair of the decoration committee and not exactly known for having a discerning eye. I was surprised to find it looked beautiful.

The theme of the evening was “Stardust,” and I had to admit the decoration team had outdone themselves. With a little imagination, the flowing dark-blue material, suspended like a canopy from the ceiling with countless shining gold and silver stars attached to it, created a starry night sky overhead. The dimmed lighting and sparkling disco globe added to the magical effect. At worst, the glitter dust had been put on a bit too generously and clung to everything. I felt bad for whoever would have to clean it all up . . .

The DJ had already cranked up the music all the way when we arrived, and, after the mandatory couple photo had been taken, Corinne pulled me on to the dance floor.

“Not now!” I protested. “There’s hardly anyone dancing. Everyone’s going to stare at us.”

“Exactly,” Corinne said. “That’s why we’re dancing now. I practiced in front of the mirror.”

“Let’s get something to drink,” Seth said and freed my arm from Corinne’s grip. Taylor was less lucky. A moment later, he was standing on the dance floor, mortified as Corinne started to twerk uninhibitedly.

“She can’t help herself,” I said to Seth, shaking my head. The people behind us started to snicker. Corinne liked to be the center of attention. Totally the opposite of me. Not that I was really shy or anything. But I preferred staying in the background rather than being in the front. I loved studying people.

Always have. I can honestly claim that there’s not much I’ll miss. I’m probably the most attentive person I know. Corinne was always impressed with how much I knew about my fellow students. It wasn’t because I was a gossipy tattletale or an interrogator. No, I simply observed people. That’s why I knew who had something going with someone else, who liked whom, and when someone was lying. It’s not easy to lie to me. Usually liars reveal themselves through tiny gestures. Lowered eyes, a cleared throat, a particular tone, tensed facial muscles. The signs are there, sometimes really obvious, at other times subtler, but they’re always there. You just have to be able to see them. Still, I’m a pretty miserable liar myself. I stick to the truth. It’s not for fear of getting caught in a lie. I just think the truth is the best way to walk through life, maybe even the only way.

At nine o’clock, Claudelle was crowned the prom queen. She thanked everyone for the honor bestowed upon her and tearfully assured us she was aware of the great responsibility that came with the crown. I felt like shouting: You’re only the prom queen of a backwater high school, Claudelle, not the new Secretary of State. I looked at Seth again with a raised eyebrow. Hard to believe his first time was with her.

Later, when more people were dancing, we joined Corinne and Taylor on the dance floor. Seth and I danced wrapped tightly in each other’s arms to slow songs, exuberantly to the fast ones. We had a blast, and we didn’t say another word that night about having to separate soon.