I hope I’m not pushing this too soon, but the truth is, I’m getting blue balls sleeping on the fucking couch every night and imagining Hope in here alone, in the bed… I don’t know exactly what my damage was before. I’m praying to God she is exaggerating on all the details she’s given me. Either way, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want her and I need to make her mine.

I undress her slowly, mostly because I can feel the nerves she keeps fighting. She’s as nervous as a deer being spotted out in the open by a hunter. Then again, that’s exactly what I feel like.

A hunter.

Here to inspect her body, find the weakest spots to make my target with only one thought on my mind.

To completely take her over.

I finally get her shirt over her head, and I may not remember having women before her—or even having her, but cognitively I know that I’ve seen women nude before. Right now, however, I can’t imagine ever seeing anything more beautiful than Hope, lying here with her shirt off, pajama pants on, and her hair mussed against the pillow.

“Aden, this is a bad idea. We don’t really know each other. I mean we do, but what we know isn’t exactly good. It’s all new really. This being the new you, and me basically being a new me,” she rattles, and I find myself grinning.

“Babe,” I laugh. “Shut it.”

“Shut it?” she gasps.

“Exactly.”

“I’m just explaining why we shouldn’t do this,” she pouts.

“And I said we weren’t going all the way—”

“But—”

“I want to make you feel good, but if you keep arguing with me. I’m going to find other things to do with that mouth.”

“Aden—”

“And if I do that, I can’t be responsible for what comes next. A man only has so much willpower.”

“This is me, shutting it,” she murmurs.

“Good girl.”

I smile when I feel her body shudder against me. The strangest feeling pops in my head. It’s a small voice that tells me it’s never been like this before, that Hope is special. Strange, because I can’t remember anything before Hope—even the times we’ve had together. But, maybe my body just remembers.

“We need to make a rule,” I whisper against her skin as I kiss along her shoulder, letting my teeth rake gently against the skin.

“What kind of rule?” she gasps. My hand palms one of her tits, kneading it. It overfills my hand and it’s so fucking soft I ache to bury my face between them, my tongue… my dick.

I hum against her nipple, before wrapping my tongue around it. It’s a pale pink in color and the nipple is large… it’s fucking beautiful. Big enough my teeth can clamp down on it, pull it roughly in my mouth and then suck hard enough that I can feel it throb against my tongue. Her body lifts toward me, jerking as my finger teases her other nipple—not wanting it to be lonely.

“No getting in our bed with clothes on,” I rumble, once I release her nipple with a popping noise that seems extra loud in the room. I bite against the bottom of the fleshy globe and suck, knowing there will be a bruise there in the morning.

“Aden!” she cries, the heels of her feet thrusting against the mattress, her body moving up in the air.

She liked that. She liked that a lot.

I move my hand down to the soft fabric of her pants, hooking my fingers in the waistband, while I bite into her breast again. Her body jerks upward, and I pull on her pants, sliding them over her ass and down, as my tongue soothes her breast.

“You’re so beautiful, Hope,” I whisper. I hardly recognize my own voice. It’s hoarse and thick with hunger. It’s going to be hell holding myself back. I know if I pushed it, Hope would give into me. That’s not how I want this though. That’s not how I want any of this to go. I want her to be the one to push the issue—her to be the one to demand I take her body.

I have a lot to make up for with her and if I have to spend some time with blue balls… so be it.

I kiss down her stomach, tasting her skin as I go, and letting my tongue memorize the indention of her ribs as she stretches, the smooth, sweet texture, and the curve of her stomach.

“Oh God,” she moans, her voice not much more than a tortured whisper of breath, and I like it. It’s like whiskey that goes straight to my head. I could get drunk on this woman… So easily.

I flick my tongue against her navel, my hands braced on each of her hips. My fingers bite into her skin as the honeyed scent of her arousal reaches me. Jesus. It’s enough to bring a man to his knees. I want to bury my face between her thighs and drown.

“Christ, honey,” I groan. Her body tightens up beneath me. Her eyes open and I see the fear in them. I don’t know why she’s trying to hold herself away from me. It’s killing me that I can’t remember the past—and yet, at the same time, I’m glad I don’t. If I was such a bastard that I threw away Hope’s love and didn’t appreciate her or Jack, I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to be that person. “Shh… it’s okay. I promise you. We’re going to go slow. Tonight is all about you, honey. I only want to make you feel good.”

“I don’t think we should do this,” she whispers. “There’s things we need to talk about…I’m just not ready,” she adds, and I hate that even through the desire in her voice, I can hear fear in her words.

My first instinct is to stop, but something tells me if I keep backing off, I’m never going to get what I want. I may not remember my past, but I want Hope as my future. Everything inside of me is telling me that. I want—no… I need her back in my bed. I slide down to the foot of the bed, placing a kiss against her pussy, through her wet panties. I even lick against them, unable to stop myself.

Soon.

“I’m sorry, Aden,” she whispers. Her voice is full of regret, again I worry I’m pushing too hard, too soon—but, I don’t stop.

I hold her gaze in mine, and then I move her pants down her legs, throwing them into the corner.

“I’m not stopping, Hope.”

“But—”

“You can keep your panties on, tonight at least,” I answer, willing to only give her that small escape, even though it kills me. And then, because I know she needs it, I lie on my side beside her. She turns her head to look at me. There’s so many different emotions running across her face I can’t name one of them, but I do see the question in her eyes.

“Aden…” she murmurs, and then stops. Maybe she doesn’t know what she’s feeling either.

“I want you to keep your eyes on me, Hope. Look at me while I give you pleasure,” I order her, and my voice is commanding enough that it is an order.

“Is it normal to be… afraid?” she whispers.

“Afraid of me?” I ask, because I don’t like that idea at all and I wouldn’t have the first clue on how to fix that problem.

“No,” she whispers, and her hand comes up to touch the side of my face, her fingers pushing against my beard.

I place my hand over hers and then drag them down, sliding my fingers between hers and linking them. I keep our joined hands against my chest so she can feel the beating of my heart.

“I’m here with you, Hope. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to rush you. We’ll take this as easy as you want it,” I tell her, trying for reassurance and praying it helps.

I watch the movement of her throat as she swallows. Her tongue comes out to lick her lips as if she’s trying to fight against her nerves. I bend down and slide my tongue against hers, while carefully using my free hand to slide into her panties. Her body tenses and I stop, holding my hand against her heated pussy, to hold it and nothing else. She’s so wet I can feel her slick juices coat my hand almost instantly.

After a moment or two, her body softens, melting against the mattress again and indicating she’s relaxing. I tease her lips with my tongue. Hers darts shyly against mine, and I suck it into my mouth. She moans, unable to make the sound, but I can feel the vibration. I take over the kiss then, my tongue pushing inside her mouth, owning it, discovering everything I can and demanding more.

Hope is with me each step, her kiss becomes hungry, her tongue trying to war with mine. I push my fingers inside her little cunt. I wasn’t prepared. She’s had a child, and she’s so wet I didn’t go slow, but she’s tight. So fucking unbelievably tight that it’s all I can do to force my fingers inside of her. Her body jerks, as she tilts her hips to allow my fingers deeper.

I break away from her mouth and she cries out as I pull my fingers back and then thrust them hard, back inside her depths.

“Aden!” she cries and I love that she says my name. Fuck, I can feel my dick leaking pre-cum against my groin. I think it might be possible to get off by doing nothing more than finger fucking Hope and making her scream my name.

I keep on fucking her like this, fast and hard, her head moves back and forth as her hips push into each of my thrusts. Through it all she doesn’t let go of my hand. I won’t allow her to.

I pull my fingers out of her soaked cunt, flattening them and holding them against her clit.

“Look at me,” I tell her, though my voice comes out a throaty growl, sounding barely human. My body vibrates with the need to come, with the need to slam my cock inside of her and make her mine.

Soon. Not yet… but soon.

She turns her head to look at me, passion and need so thick in her gaze it shines from her eyes. I use my fingers, moving them in a circular motion around her clit. I go slow at first, then speed up.

“Aden, please,” she begs, getting just enough to drive her crazy but not push her over the edge.

“Hold your tit for me, Hope,” I command. She does it immediately, using her free hand to hold it, even pulling it towards me, needing anything I can give her. My mouth sucks her nipple in my mouth and I move my body, to allow me to change the direction of my fingers. I still keep my thumb on her clit, manipulating it, but I bury two fingers deep in her pussy just as I bite on her nipple.

She screams out my name, but lifts up so she uses my shoulder to stifle the loud yell, just as she comes, drenching my hand in her cum. Her body bows and shudders as her thighs tighten so she can ride out the wave.

Her teeth bite into my shoulder. She doesn’t do it easy and I fucking love it. This time it’s my body that shudders in response.

I slowly bring her back down, so that the room is left with the scent of her orgasm in the air, the sound of her ragged breathing and the pounding of my heart, as my body cries from not getting to come.

Through all of this our two hands have been joined and I’m in no hurry to let her go. I’m kissing her skin against her shoulder and collar bone, enjoying the salty flavor and just the thrill of being this close to her, when she pulls on her hand.

“I was going to… well, I thought I could make you… come,” she whispers, her flushed face going even darker. I keep our hands joined, but roll on my back, and use my free hand to drag her body on top of mine—our hands trapped between us. Then, I kiss her forehead. She pulls her head back. An unspoken question is on her face, but then I don’t need her to ask it. I know what she’s thinking.

“Tonight was all for you, Hope. Just enjoy it.”

“But you didn’t…”

“I just got the biggest gift a man could have, honey. I’m good. More than good. Get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow,” I whisper. Then I move her head and cradle it against my chest letting my fingers comb through her hair. It doesn’t take long before I feel her body relax into sleep and I follow after her within moments.