“You love me, don’t you?”
I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. Oh no! I fell asleep. He was only here when I was asleep.
“Tell me you love me.”
I wanted to move. I wanted to get away. The smell… old, stale cigars and alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
“No one will ever love you like I do, you know that? No one will ever want you. You’re a fucking whore. My fucking whore. No one else’s.”
Please stop! Don’t do this. Why me? Why me? He pulled my arms tighter. I heard a snap. Pain. Lots of pain on my left side. He pushed my head further into the pillow. I couldn’t breathe! I just needed some air. I wanted to kick him away, but I didn’t have the strength. My left arm was throbbing so badly. At least let me breathe. Even if it’s my last breath. I felt my underwear get ripped away.
“You fucking love me. No one will ever love you. You’re a worthless, pathetic little cunt!” His hand circled around my throat, and then I felt him. Tears blinded me. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep…
I woke up drenched in sweat. The dreams. They were all different but always had the same outcome. They’d gotten better over the years, but they were always there.
I lay against the headboard, trying to breathe. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. I kept telling myself that, but I knew that it hadn’t always been. I used to wish I was dead. Sometimes I still did.
I glanced at the clock: 3:47 a.m. Well, at least I almost made it to three hours of sleep this time. That was an accomplishment.
I peered up at the dream catcher above my bed. Worthless piece of shit. Might as well get up. I headed for the kitchen for a snack. Then it dawned on me. I never got that guy’s name. Since when did I let strangers take me home? But more importantly, since when did strangers take me home when I didn’t give them my address?
“You have meetings at 8 a.m., 9:00 a.m., and 10:15 a.m., and also, a late luncheon meeting at 1:30 p.m. There’s also a conference call at 2:45 p.m. with the development team from Florida. It seems there’s a discrepancy between zoning areas.”
I fired up my laptop as Glenda read over the day’s agenda. Oh, the joys of being CEO of a company. Meeting after fucking meeting. Where the fuck was Chace? If I had to be here this early, then so did he.
“You also have a late conference call meeting at 5:00 p.m. with London. 11:00 a.m. for you.” Glenda looked at me and smiled. “Welcome home, Mr. Mandrake.”
As she left my office, I shouted after her. “I didn’t hear you mention anything in my schedule about golfing, Glenda!”
She peeked her head back in the room. “Sure I did, Mr. Mandrake. It’s in three weeks between 3:15 a.m. and 3:20 a.m.”
As I gazed around my new office, I forgot all about Glenda being a smartass. While I was away, I had it completely remodeled. I also had the entire top floor completely redone. I figured since I’d be here more often than not, I might as well have another bachelor pad within reach. Of course, I had to tell Chace to stop using it to ‘conduct interviews.’ Fucking asshole.
I glanced at the clock: 7:30 a.m. Half an hour to fuck off.
I called Glenda on the speakerphone. “Glenda, I’m going to need a couple of files, and maybe an assistant.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Mandrake. I can have HR pull up a list of available candidates for you if you like.”
“That won’t be necessary. I have a name in mind. Can you pull up the employee file on an Emmalin Ross, please? She’s the one who assisted at Walters and Reed. Thank you.”
“Right away, sir.”
Chace burst into my office. “Nice fucking office, man. I knew they were remodeling it, but this looks fucking amazing.”
“Thanks for showing up today, Chace.”
“Oh, well, yes. You know me. I like to make a grand fucking entrance. So tell me, what happened after you left? You kind of ran out of there. Was the pussy on fire or what?”
I ran my hands through my hair. “It wasn’t like that, man. I said I was taking her home, and I did exactly that.”
“Wow, man.”
“What?”
Chace leaned back and propped his feet up on my desk. Every day I told myself I couldn’t kill him, mostly because he was good at his job.
“Nothing. I was a little blinded by your vagina showing.”
“Fuck you, Chace.” There was a knock on the door. “Come in!”
“Mr. Mandrake, I’m Helen… from human resources. Glenda informed me you requested a file for an assistant?”
“Yes, just place it on my desk.”
“I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the particular person you requested is not employed through Mandrake Enterprises. She’s only hired on for temporary work on an as-needed basis as a freelance accountant. I’ve taken the liberty of bringing you some other files for other employees who would be better suited for the position.” She smiled and then placed the files on my desk. Her, now, I could fire.
“I’m sorry, what was your name?”
She turned. “It’s Helen Peterson. From human resources.”
I spoke in the calmest, most nonchalant voice I could muster. “Thank you, Helen. I very much appreciate you not doing what I asked you to do. There’s nothing that irritates me more than someone not doing something I precisely asked for. Maybe you didn’t notice the name on the outside of the building before you walked in. I believe that’s my name on it. My company. You work for me. When I ask for something, I expect to receive exactly that and nothing else. Will this be a problem for you? Or perhaps you should be drawing up your own dismissal paperwork instead?”
She stared at me with fear in her eyes before looking from me to Chace. She opened her mouth, as if she was about to speak, closed it, and then opened it again. “My apologies, Mr. Mandrake. I didn’t… I didn’t…”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Let me put her out of her misery. I smiled my infamous panty-dropping smile. “It’s okay, Helen. I know you won’t let it happen again. However, I really would appreciate that file.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll retrieve it right away.” She turned and practically ran into the door on her way out.
I glanced over at Chace as he gestured toward the door. “What the fuck was that, man? I know you’ve been on edge, but shit, ease up a little. Maybe call Ashley or something to get some of that relieved. In fact, I’ll call her for you. It’ll do us all a favor.”
“Maybe I was a little curt. I hate repeating myself.”
Chace glared at me and smirked. “Right, a ‘little curt.’” He got up and headed for the door. “I have a meeting in ten. Catch up with me later?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” He turned, but not before running into Helen at the door.
“Your file as requested, Mr. Mandrake.” She sat the file on my desk. “Will there be anything else sir?”
“No, that’s it. Thank you, Helen.”
Helen left the room. On my desk was a file, labeled Ross, E.
Just another hour, and I could be out the door. That damn last hour always seemed to drag. Since I was only needed a few times a week at Walters and Reed, I also worked as a waitress at Tea Lites a couple of blocks from my apartment. Its proximity to home was its best feature.
“Hey, Emms, any plans for the rest of the day?” Caleb drew my attention.
“Nothing exciting, unless you count a long, hot bath.”
He laughed. “Well, I was thinking maybe you and I could do something one of these days?”
“Oh. Um, well, maybe. I’ll let you know, okay?”
He nodded and smiled before heading to the back.
Ugh, what is wrong with me? Caleb is nice. He’s cute, and I bet I would have a good time. What is my problem?
I peered down at my cup of black coffee, expecting an answer. Nothing.
“Hey, Emmalin, if you want to head out early, you can,” Louie, my boss, said. “It’s slowed down a lot, so we got ya covered.”
“Okay. You don’t have to tell me twice. Thanks! Bye, Louie. Bye, Caleb!” I shouted before running out the door in case Louie had a change of heart. As I was walking the six blocks home, my cell rang.
“Isabella?”
“Don’t play coy with me. Rumor has it, you didn’t leave the party alone last night.”
Oh shit, here we go. I did not need to be the talk of the day. “Well, actually I did leave alone. I was offered a ride a short time later.”
“Mm hmm… and how was it?”
“The ride?”
“Yes, how was the ride on his dick?”
I laughed. “Oh, Isabella, how you never cease to amaze me. He took me home. End of story.”
“So that was really it?”
“That was really it. Sorry to disappoint you.” I heard a long sigh.
“Well, moving on from that, how about getting into some trouble tonight?”
“I have a feeling your idea of trouble is a lot different than mine.”
“Ha! Mostly. I’m going to a little get-together someone from the party Friday night told me about, and you, my dear, are going to be my plus one.”
“You know, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I really don’t have anything to wear for going out. Maybe another time.”
“I knew you would say that. That’s why you’re coming over to raid my closet. Be at my house in an hour. I’ll text you the address, bitch.” Before I could say anything else, she hung up.
Fuck me. Isabella had always been a little out there. She came from a family of money and was always looking for ways to spend it. We met when a customer at the restaurant got a little grabby, and she practically wrestled him to the floor. We’d been friends ever since then. She’d been trying forever to get me to go out with her, and I always declined. Until now I guess.
I went home and took a quick shower before heading out. I’d never actually been to Isabella’s apartment. I just knew she lived uptown. Anything uptown was clearly out of my price range.
“So this is where you live? It’s nice.” I scanned her apartment. Her kitchen by itself was the size of my apartment. And people always wondered why I never invited them over. Not if they all lived like this.
“So tell me more about this party.”
“Well, some guy I met there named Chace said he was having a get-together. A welcome home party for a friend of his, or something or another. He said I should come and bring anyone I wanted. I figured, why not? We deserve to have some fun, right?”
Parties scared the shit out of me, but I told myself I would try, so this was me trying.
“Wait till you see what I have picked out for you.”
“Holy shit. So this is a bandage dress?”
“Not just any bandage dress. This is a Hervé Léger bandage dress.”
I looked at myself in the mirror. Holy fucking shit. I stood back. She’d chosen a red dress, with a square neck that pushed my breasts up nicely, showing just the right amount of cleavage. I had curves I didn’t even know I had in this dress. After Isabella had worked her magic—doing my hair, leaving it in waves and letting it fall to the side, and minimal makeup, yet dramatic eyes—all I could do was stand in front of the mirror and stare. I didn’t look like myself at all. It scared me. Maybe that was because I liked it. I never would’ve worn something like this, or had my makeup done this way or anything. I took a deep breath and reminded myself I was trying. I looked… well, I looked hot. I couldn’t hide my smile.
“I knew you would like it,” she said. “You just have to get out of your comfort zone.”
I glanced at Isabella through the mirror and instantly spotted the five-inch heels in her hands. My eyes flew back up to her.
“Jimmy Choo is the way, babe,” she said.
I laughed. Maybe this would be a fun night. If nothing else, I at least got to wear an outfit that was ridiculously expensive.