Pressure. All I felt was pressure on my body. My heart rapidly slammed inside my chest, and I tensed, knowing what was to come. I waited. Nothing. How could that be? It had never been nothing. Prying open my eyes, I saw the arm across me was Grayson’s. I took a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart. It was just Grayson nestled in next to me. Shifting slightly, I took him in, really looking at him. He was beautiful and way out of my league.
I deftly untangled myself from his body, careful not to wake him. I glanced around the room and realized I had no idea where my clothes were. I spotted his shirt on the floor, put that on, and silently tiptoed out of the room.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I scanned my surroundings. Goodness, this place was huge. Why would just one person need all this space? In the kitchen, I noticed the stove clock. It was a little after three in the morning. Sounded about right, being the normal time my body woke me up. I walked over to the window and saw the snow had accumulated at least six inches in the few short hours I’d been here. I made my way over to the island and grabbed the remote for the TV. Surely something was on to pass the time.
I turned to pull Emmalin closer to me, but my arm grabbed nothing. What? I looked around the room and back to her spot. It wasn’t even warm. I glanced at my watch: 5:30 a.m. I rubbed my eyes. Surely she didn’t leave. She couldn’t have with all this snow. Although, I wouldn’t put it past her to try. Fuck.
I grabbed a pair of shorts and made my way downstairs. It was dark. Fuck, what if she did leave? I ran my hand through my hair and walked to the front door, but before I got there, I heard a noise. Turning toward the hall that led to the kitchen, I saw a faint glow and peered around the corner. There she was, sitting at the kitchen island, looking even more beautiful, if that was possible. I recognized she had my shirt on. That and the tousled hair made my dick twitch. God, she was gorgeous.
She was watching a lame infomercial and silently giggling at something someone said. Even though the volume was low, she didn’t know I was at the entryway, just watching her as she nibbled on a piece of toast.
Lucky toast.
“I thought you left.”
She jumped and immediately turned around and stepped away from the island.
I took that moment to let my gaze inspect her. The shirt barely reached her mid thigh. Her nipples were hard against the shirt. How I wanted those nipples in my mouth. I licked my lips.
“Grayson, I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep, so I came down here. I hope you don’t mind.”
I walked toward her. “Of course not, I want you to be at home here.”
She nodded while trying to pull the shirt down more. Cute.
“How long have you been up?”
She looked at the clock on the stove. “A little over two hours or so.”
I nodded. “You don’t sleep much, do you?”
“If you don’t sleep, you don’t have nightmares.” There was pain in her eyes. I studied her, hoping she would say more, but she broke eye contact first.
“I thought you had left. I was prepared to track you down if needed.”
She laughed, but I wasn’t kidding.
“Sorry, I tried making as little noise as possible so not to wake you.”
I took her hand and led her out of the kitchen.
“I want to show you something.” We walked back into the bedroom, and I sat her on the bed. Grabbed the remote off the nightstand, I pressed a button. The wall opened up, revealing my flat screen. “Anytime you can’t sleep, you don’t have to leave our bed. You can watch right here. I won’t mind.”
She looked from me to the TV. “Your.”
I frowned at her, confused.
“You said our bed. It’s your bed.”
Had I? Damn, I didn’t even realize.
“Well, right, the bed.” I gestured toward it.
Now, it felt awkward. I knew I had fucked up by saying that. She stood and walked toward the window, rising on her toes to get a better view. I stood back and admired the way my shirt inched up, smiling when I saw she wasn’t wearing panties. Memories of me ripping them off came to mind.
She turned toward me. “It’s a nice view.”
My eyes slowly traveled down her body. “Yes, I was just admiring the view.” She blushed.
“So about last night.” She started fidgeting, and I crossed my arms over my chest as I leaned against the armoire. She slid her hair behind her ear and took a deep breath. “Grayson, lines were crossed…”
I watched as she nervously shifted around, talking like she rehearsed the whole speech in her head, trying to convince herself that what happened between us was just a one-time thing. My cock had other plans as I watch her nipples harden under my white shirt she was wearing. Deciding I wasn’t going to listen to her shit anymore, I took my shorts off. There was too much talking and not enough fucking.
“Last night was incredible,” I finished for her. “And as for that line, that line was erased a long time ago, don’t you think?”
She studied her hands, clearly trying to look anywhere except my hard cock. “Grayson, it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Which part?”
She looked up. “What?”
I stepped closer. “I said, which part? Which part, Emmalin, shouldn’t have happened? Me kissing you and you kissing me back? You pulling me closer?” I closed the distance between us in two long strides. “Or was it when I licked and sucked on your clit, and you came in my mouth. You coming so hard you could barely breathe?”
She gasped.
“Or how about when you came on my dick?” I placed my hand around her waist and made sure she felt how hard I was. Sliding a hand between her legs, I lightly grazed her clit. A moan escaped her lips, and I smiled. She was already wet, and I barely touched her. “I hate repeating myself, but again I ask. Which part?” My thumb was circling her clit as I slipped two fingers inside her pussy. She was so fucking wet. “Are you having trouble coming up with an answer?” Her pussy tightened around my fingers as I curled then upward. Shaking, she closed her eyes. “Look at me, Emmalin!” Her eyes snapped open. “I own your pleasure. Do you understand me? You only come for me.” She nodded and began to close her eyes again. “Eyes! Eyes always on me when you come.”
I pressed more firmly on her clit, and she exploded, coming all over my hand. I lightened the pressure until she came down. After withdrawing my fingers, I traced her lips with her essence and then claimed her mouth with my own. Deep and passionate and hungry. Hard. She was breathing rapidly.
“Three things. Three things are all I’ll ever ask of you. Never lie to me, never say anything you don’t mean, and always give me your pleasure. It’s the only things I’ll ever want.”
I was still trying to catch my breath. The things that man did to me. I placed my hands on his chest. “What about what I want?”
He raised an eyebrow as if to challenge me. I ran my hands down his chest, going over his delicious abs down to that impeccable V. The V you only read about in books. The V that I never knew existed outside of books until now. Without breaking eye contact, I slid my hand further down. He hissed. I hadn’t held him until now. Now, I knew it was often said that size doesn’t matter, but this guy was the holy grail of cocks.
Grabbing him firmly, I stroked him up and down. His eyes were hooded, and I smiled before dropping to my knees and licking him from base to tip. My tongue circled the tip, tasting the saltiness of his precum. Delicious. But that wasn’t enough; I wanted all of him. Relaxing my throat, I took as much of him as I could in my mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” I heard him growl. I mentally smiled.
His hands drove into my hair and tightened as I continued my pursuit of sucking him as hard as I could.
“God, you look so hot with my dick in your mouth.” He began to thrust, fucking my mouth, and I fucking loved it. He was getting close. I could feel his dick getting harder.
Abruptly, I was pulled up. For a moment, I thought I had done something wrong. “Fucking shit, Emmalin,” he gasped before his lips came crashing into mine. Within a split second, we were on the bed. He quickly sheathed himself with a condom and was thrusting into me.
“You’re so fucking wet. I just slid in,” he growled, thrusting mercilessly. He smothered every moan with a kiss. I felt myself convulsing around him. So weak and so sensitive.
“You want to come?” I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip until I tasted blood. “Say it,” he demanded, but I hesitated. “I said, say it. Tell me what you want to do.”
My body quivered, but he slowed his pace, delaying my gratification. I could see the strain on his features as he tried to hold himself back.
“I said, say it!” He bit down on my shoulder. The pain only intensified the impending orgasm.
I gasped. “You own my pleasure, make me come.”
Smiling, he claimed my mouth, but not before reaching down and giving my clit a pinch. I came. I came hard. Grayson’s features were strained as he thrust once. Twice. Done. Still breathing hard, he kissed me. Gently. He lightly stroked the side of my face.
“You’re so beautiful. God, what you do to me.” Ever so quietly, in a low whisper—I was almost positive I wasn’t meant to hear it—I heard him say, “Be gentle.”
I said one night, but one night turned into the next morning. I was fucked. Literally.
Somehow I dozed off. Having multiple orgasms will do that to you. Since it was Saturday, and I didn’t have to work due to everything being shut down, it was nice to try to get some sleep. Granted, that felt impossible with this man next to me. I had to remind myself that it was just sex. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I was sure he wasn’t either, so there was no sense in defining anything. You couldn’t define something when it was nothing.
“Hungry?” My thoughts were interrupted by his question. I peeked up at him from under my lashes. He was once again tangled around me where I couldn’t move much.
“Yeah. I am, actually.”
“Good, because I’ve been told I make the best omelets. Of course, I’m the one who told myself that, so it must be true.” Smiling, he snuggled more into my neck.
I could get used to this.
No. Not him. Not anyone.
“Would you mind if I took a shower?”
“Of course not. There’s some extra toiletries in the bathroom, and your bag is on the chair.”
“Thanks.” I started to get up but then realized I was naked. He must have been thinking the same thing too, because he smirked.
“I’ve seen every part of you naked. You’re beautiful.”
I blushed, but he had a good point. He had seen me naked. I got up and walked over to my overnight bag, took a few things out, and headed to the bathroom.
I looked around. Well, it was official, even his bathroom was bigger than my apartment. The shower alone was impressive. I counted six showerheads. I wondered how much of a waste of water that was. I set the shower to an almost scalding temperature. It felt good against my muscles that were sore from all the activities we’d been partaking in. Now, this I could get used to.
After watching her grab her things and head for the bathroom, I laid in bed just a little while longer before deciding to join her. As I got out of bed, something by her overnight bag caught my eye. As I walked closer to inspect, I felt the blood drain from my head.
A fucking syringe.
Cringing, I remembered my sister’s problems with drugs and how it almost killed her. Her kids were taken from her, and now that she was sober, she was just now getting their trust back.
I grabbed the needle and stormed into the bathroom with such force I was surprised the hinges didn’t come off. I opened the shower door to an already startled-looking Emmalin. Yanking her by the wrist, I dragged her out of the shower.
“What the hell, Grayson?”
“What the fuck is the matter with you?”
She stood there shivering, and when she began to talk, I cut her off.
“Are you on fucking drugs? I do not allow drugs in my house. How the fuck could you bring this shit here?” I held up the syringe. Her eyes fixated on it before looking back at me. “What is it? Heroin?” I grabbed her arms to search for track marks, but she snatched it away and covered herself as best she could.
“Grayson—”
“No! There’s nothing you can say. I have no fucking respect for anyone who shoots up to get high. Don’t you know this shit will kill you? I thought you were different.”
She shoved me out of the way, grabbed a towel, and marched over to her bag. Still wet from the shower, she pulled clothes out and put them on.
“How long, Emmalin?” She didn’t answer. “I asked you a fucking question.”
She finally looked up with a mixture of fear and anger. “You don’t get to talk to me like that. I don’t do drugs, you fucking asshole. I would never do drugs.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I found the fucking needle by your bag.”
She grabbed something from her bag before turning to face me and holding it up. “That syringe is for this.” I stepped closer to see what she was holding. “I’m a diabetic, and this is insulin. I use the syringes for insulin, you prick!” She snatched the syringe out my hand, stomped past me with her bag, and started down the stairs.
Now, I felt like the biggest fucking asshole on the face of the planet.
She was just getting to the door when I was able to reach her. She wasn’t even wearing her coat, and she was crying. Her hair was soaked from the shower, and her clothes were damp since she got dressed in such a hurry.
“Emmalin.” I reached out for her, and she flinched.
“I can’t believe you would think that of me.” Her lips trembled.
I ran my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I didn’t even know what to say. She turned toward the door. “Please don’t go.” It was a whisper, but I knew she heard me. “Please. Don’t go,” I whispered again. She was still facing the door, her hand on the knob. I stepped closer. She was shaking, and I gently placed my hands on her shoulder.
“I know you have every reason to walk out that door and probably hate me forever. Then you never have to see me again, and I think a part of me would rather have you hate me forever than for me never to see you again, because I can’t go without seeing you. But I’m asking you, please, don’t go.”
She took a deep breath and dropped her hand from the doorknob, and I slowly turned her around. The tears in her eyes stabbed me. I put those tears there. She walked past me into the living room. We sat in front of the fireplace, not speaking. Just sitting there. She sat as far away on the other end of the couch as she could, tension rolling off her in waves. I could easily see she barely wanted to be in the same room with me.
Accusation does that.
I didn’t know why I was still here. I tried to tell myself it was because I didn’t know where he put my coat, but I was afraid it went deeper than that. I noticed as Grayson made subtle attempts at moving closer to me. After a few minutes, he was directly beside me. He finally placed his arm around me, and I instantly relaxed as he nuzzled into the crook of my neck.
“I didn’t know.”
I took a deep breath and watched my hands twisting in my damp shirt.
He saw me shivering and immediately turned on the fireplace, taking me into his arms. “You’ll get sick.” I didn’t say anything as he lifted my shirt off and pressed himself around me. Several minutes went by before either of us spoke again. “How long?”
“Since I was twelve. It’s been well managed, for the most part, but there are good days and bad days.”
“I don’t think I could imagine taking on a big responsibility at that age.”
“Well, you’re not given a choice, so you do what you have to do to live.” Even if it means working enough jobs to pay for it.
Several more minutes went by with us just staring at the fire.
“My sister was a heroin addict. That’s why I reacted the way I did. I saw what it did to her, and what she became. She almost died. Hell, she did die then came back to us. Her husband was deployed, and she had a hard time coping with him being gone and raising the kids by herself. So she dealt with it in her own way, I guess. One night, I was at a banquet and had twelve missed calls from a number I didn’t recognize. I finally called it back, and it was my niece. Crying. She kept saying ‘Mommy won’t wake up’ over and over again. I just remember driving as fast as I could to get to them. They were twenty minutes away, but it felt like hours. Days even.”
He took a deep breath before continuing. Hands clenched into fists.
“I got there, and it was eerily quiet. Almost calm-like. But I just knew something horrible happened. Her daughter, Abigail, was nowhere to be seen. I finally found her in the closet holding her baby brother, Noah. She was so scared she was hiding. By then, Chace had gotten there, and I had him stay with them while I went and looked for my sister. I finally found her in her closet. Needle still in her arm, eyes half hooded. She was barely breathing. I just remember seeing needles everywhere. I had no idea any of this was going on.” He squeezed me closer. “Anyways, long story short, I took legal guardianship of the kids until their father returned home. For four months, this was their home.”
It was quiet again.
“You saved them. All three of them.” He placed a kiss against my temple. I couldn’t help but think about how no one saved me. Until it was too late. I pulled out of his embrace. “Tell me something. You freaked out thinking I was on drugs because of what happened with your sister, yet, at Chace’s party, they were doing drugs.” I watched as he tensed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just saying, it seems a bit hypocritical, don’t you think? Your friends do it. So, do you do it?”
“First off, they’re not my friends. They’re Chace’s friends. They’re more like associates.” He stood facing the fire. “Chace has a few demons of his own he’s working on. I’m trying to help him, but he’s a stubborn fuck. He’s gotten better, but he doesn’t want to be changed. He’s his own man. Yet I can’t give up on him. He’s like my brother. So I keep trying.”
I nodded. I respected that.
“Okay, enough of that. I owe you breakfast.” He reached his hand down to me. I looked at it and then up at him. A brief flash of uncertainty crossed his face; he wasn’t sure I would take it.
I took it.
The one time I hoped for a blizzard, it didn’t happen. We spent all day Saturday watching movies and playing games that I had bought for when Abigail and Noah were here. There was lots of laughter; not to mention, she was getting comfortable around me again. We fell asleep in bed watching movies, although I didn’t think she slept more than a few hours. There were times I rolled over to see her wide awake. She looked tired but didn’t want to sleep. I was hesitant to touch her; occasionally I still felt like a dick for going off on her the way I did.
Not only did it stop snowing, but it also seemed to be melting. I didn’t want her to go, especially not back to that hellhole she lived in. I frowned just thinking about it. She wasn’t going back there. I had some calls to make.
I was just signing the last of the paperwork when Emmalin came strolling into my office.
“So this is where Grayson Mandrake works.” She looked around the room and strolled over to the bookcase before turning to me. I took advantage of slowly letting my gaze travel up and down her body. I could feel my dick twitching against my slacks.
“It’s nice.” She sauntered over to the pool table. I closed my laptop as I watched her set up a game and grabbed another beer from the mini fridge. She glanced up at me. “Are you any good?”
I cleared my throat. “Are you suggesting a game?”
She smiled before going over to the wall and browsing the row of pool sticks before selecting one. I stepped over and grabbed one as well.
As I circled her, I ever so lightly brushed against her before positioning the rack on the table. “Shall we discuss bets?”
She gave me a questionable look. “I don’t think I have much to bet, Grayson.”
I took another swallow of my beer. “Oh, I highly doubt that, Emmalin.” I leaned against the table and continued to look her up and down. “When I win, there’s something you have to do for me.”
“When you win? Pretty confident, aren’t you, Mr. Mandrake?”
I shrugged. “I just call it how I see it. I’m a gambling man. You know this.”
“Right. And if I win?”
“You won’t.”
She laughed. “Humor me, Grayson. I may have something up my sleeve.”
“I tell you what. Let’s reveal our plans at the end of the game, and no matter what, that person has to do it. Deal?” I extended my hand.
She eyed it warily before meeting my eyes and taking my hand.
“Deal.”
I gestured towards the table. “Ladies first.”
Half an hour later, we were tied. She was bringing her A game. I didn’t expect someone like her to know her shit. Should’ve played poker. That game would’ve been over twenty-nine minutes ago.
There was one ball left. The eight ball. She was up. If she got this, the game was over. She studied the table, circling it, trying to find her best shot.
“Eight ball, corner pocket.” She took position at the table. It was clear she wanted to win this, but so did I.
She shot. I clenched, watching the white ball roll toward the eight ball. This was it. I watched, waiting for the ball to hit. It didn’t. It went right past it, missing by barely an eighth of an inch. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. The disappointment on her face was unmistakable. The beer had miscalculated her judgment.
I approached the table, hoping the odds were in my favor, and took position. “Eight ball, side pocket.” I aimed, willing this to go in. Shot. I looked up. Fuckin aced it. I glanced at Emmalin with the biggest grin I had.
She crossed her arms and mumbled. “Lucky shot.”
I paced towards her, removing the pool stick from her hand and placing it back on the wall before turning back to her, standing as close as I possibly could.
“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘Congratulations.’” Lifting her up on the pool table and parting her legs so I could step in between them, I took the hair tie from her hair, watching the dark waves cascade down her shoulders. I wrapped my arm around her waist. Her breathing became heavy as I kissed down her neck. “Congratulate me,” I whispered in her ear. She moaned instead. I smiled.
“Is this your plan for winning, Grayson?”
Pulling back, I gazed into her eyes, shaking my head. “No. This is just bonus points.” I claimed her mouth. It’d been far too long since I put my hands all over her. After a moment, she pulled back and cleared her throat. I got it. I still had to earn her trust.
“So what’s your real plan?” She peered up at me.
Taking a deep breath, I reminded her, “Just for the record, we said no matter what.”
She eyed me warily. “Sure. Within reason of course.”
“No, we said no matter what. That was our deal.”
She looked down at her hands. “I don’t know if I’m going to like this, but a deal is a deal. So, Grayson, what is your plan?”
I smiled. “It’s simple. Move in with me.”