Chapter Twenty
Brody
“Hey. Can you maybe, like, focus on the meeting?” Brax waved his hand in front of my face. I shook my head a little, trying to clear my brain of all things Landry. “I’d like to get out of here before fucking sun-up.”
“My bad.” I shrugged. “It’s a little hard to concentrate.” Landry’s twelve-week appointment was tomorrow. And then I would be leaving on Friday to start the tour. There was a lot on my mind. More than a lot.
Landry and I had been going strong for six weeks now. But it was time for the paternity test, and it was time for me to head out on the road. Real life was setting in real fucking fast.
I sat back and listened while our new road manager, Ted, went over the schedule in incredible detail, which I swear took three hours.
Brax stood and stretched his arms over his head. “That was boring as fuck.”
“I’m still here.”
Brax froze, a wince forming on his face. Ted wasn’t gone; he was standing by the door talking to our sound manager.
“Yeah man, I know. I was kidding. That’s how we operate…welcome to the family.” Brax bit his lips together, trying not to laugh.
Dane grabbed him by the back of the shirt, steering him toward the exit. “Let’s go get some dinner, jackass.”
I pulled out my cell, texting Landry to let her know my meeting was finally over and I was heading home. “See you guys on Friday.” I wouldn’t leave Landry one second before I had to.
“How are you doing with all this, bro?” Talon was following me out, turning off lights on his way. “Other than rehearsal, we haven’t really seen much of you these past few weeks.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, we all do.” He paused at his car, leaning against the bumper. “I just wanted to check in, see where your head was.”
Talon, all the guys, had been giving me my space. They were all so supportive of me being there for Landry—always texting to ask how she was, always so sweet to her when she came to rehearsal with me. They were invested in us, and it made my heart happy. But it also added a lot of stress. Talon wasn’t shy about where he stood on the baby-daddy issue. He wanted Landry and I to raise the baby together, no matter who the biological father was. To him things were simple, and to me they weren’t. Luckily he hadn’t brought it up since the night Luke asked him to stay with Landry.
“They do the blood work tomorrow for the paternity test, and to find out if she’s having a boy or a girl.” I copied his stance against the car, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m excited for this tour; it’s a dream come true. But leaving Landry is going to be really hard. The next time we have a break, she’ll be six months pregnant. I’m afraid to be away from her.”
“Afraid that she won’t take care of herself?”
“Afraid that we’ll find out the baby is Travis’s and they’ll get back together while I’m away on tour.” I sighed. “Afraid that something will happen to her or the baby and I won’t be there for them. Afraid that she’ll realize I’m not nearly good enough for her. Afraid that after all this time, the relationship we’ve developed will disappear the moment I step foot on that bus.” I sent him a tight smile. “You name it, I’m afraid of it.”
“Have you two talked? About what happens after the paternity test?”
I shook my head. “A few weeks ago we decided that we’d give ourselves until her twelve-week appointment to avoid all things paternity related. We don’t talk about who the father is, or the fact that it might not be me. We just laugh and fuck and pretend that our lives are easy and uncomplicated.”
“Is that healthy?”
“Fuck if I know.” I stood up, heading toward my car. “But her appointment is tomorrow.” I waved, climbed in my car, and left Talon in the parking lot.
Tonight was Landry and my last night in our little fantasy world, and I didn’t want to spend one more minute of it away from my girl.
***
“Why aren’t you naked? I thought we agreed that every time I walked through that door, you’d be naked.” I wrapped my arms around Landry, burying my face in her neck. Fuck, I was going to miss her when I left.
“I thought maybe first we could eat, and then I would get naked.”
She was stirring something with a wooden spoon, it smelled like spaghetti sauce. “You cooked? Baby cakes, you’ve never cooked for me.” I’d cooked for her, and Talon had cooked for the both of us once or twice. But she’d never made me dinner.
“I figured I would do something special, since it’s our last night living in denial land.” I kissed her neck and then stepped away, sneaking a piece of garlic bread off the cutting board.
“I prefer to think of it as a land of make believe.”
I watched while she finished dinner and told me about her day, then I told her about my boring meeting with Ted.
“We’ve never eaten at this table. We’ve only ever fucked on it.” I took a big bite, getting sauce all over my face in the process.
“I know, I cleaned it like three times today.” She sat her fork down and rested her forearms on the table. “I talk about my family all the time, but you never talk about yours.”
“Well there are about a million more people in your family tree. Plus, yours are more interesting.”
She smiled. “Humor me.”
I took another huge bite and then a swig of water. “My parents are both successful computer geeks. They met at MIT and they’re both wearing glasses in their wedding pictures.”
“Really? But you’re so…you. I never would have guessed that about your parents.”
“They started a coding company, kind of like hackers for hire, but legal. They made good money, and they were amazing parents. They wanted me to be who I wanted to be, not who they were. Sure, in the beginning they tried to push their tech-savvy ways on me, but I hated it. I think the only thing they regret is not forcing me to go to college.” I took another bite. “You should cook more often—this is really good.”
“Thanks. Now tell me more.”
“I grew up in San Jose, a nice neighborhood.” I sent her a small smile. “I had a great childhood.”
She cocked her head, studying me from across the table. “Why does it sound like you’re apologizing for it?”
“I don’t know.” I chewed another mouthful, this time stalling. “I had a great childhood, easy and drama free. And you didn’t. It feels almost selfish to talk about how good I had it.”
She laughed quietly. “Brody, I’m glad you had a great childhood. I’m glad you were happy and loved. You are who you are because of how you were raised, and I happen to like who you are.”
“I hate that you were hurt, that you lived so long feeling unloved and alone. I hate it, I honestly do.” I wanted to find Landry’s bio mom and scream in her face. I wanted to go back in time and find Landry as a little girl and rescue her.
“My childhood sucked, but I’ve met people who had it way worse.” She smiled, the smile she always wore when she talked about Jacks and Bryan. “And if that’s what I had to go through in order to end up with my mom and dad, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
She shrugged and went back to eating the dinner she’d made for us.
Later that night we were lying in bed, Landry was asleep on my chest and I was watching highlights from the Quicksilver Big Wave Invitational on ESPN, when my phone started vibrating on the night stand.
Talon: How are you doing?
Brody: I’m okay. We won’t get the test results back for a week or so, but for some reason I’m still nervous about the appointment.
Talon: Back to real life tomorrow, that’s gotta be tough.
Brody: Yeah.
Talon: Let me know how it goes?
Brody: For sure.
Talon: I love you, man.
Brody: Don’t be weird.