Chapter Thirteen
Six Years Ago
“It’s always been you,” Ethan said to me moving closer, his hand landing on the side of my neck. “Ever since I first saw you, I knew.” My breath hitched in my chest as I gazed up into his beautiful green eyes drawing me in so deeply.
I pressed myself closer to him, drawing his hard torso against mine, my words breathlessly leaving my own lips, “What…exactly…did you know?” I waited, one moment bleeding into more as I waited for his words. He continued to look down at me, building the tension between us even more.
Without a word, Ethan closed the space between us, tilting his head slightly to the right, his lips landing softly on my own. His lips lingered on mine, unmoving for just an instant until he pulled back only to immediately open his mouth, leaning forward again to greet my open lips.
Our breathing increased and I crowded my body as close I could to him, his fingers diving deep into my hair as he increased the pressure on my lips. I let out an audible moan into his mouth. Ethan pressed his forehead to mine, breaking our kiss long enough to whisper to me in a husky voice, “I love you, Sandy.”
“CUT! CUT!” Jeffrey’s voice rang through the set. Movement and sounds erupted as the lighting increased. Ethan and I stepped apart. I avoided looking him in the eyes, a blush coating my cheeks. “Elena,” Jeffrey yelled. “Come here.”
I gulped, knowing by Jeffrey’s tone that this was not going to be good. He was in one of his dark moods. We'd been filming this scene for hours already. Jeffrey wasn't pleased with the amount of passion, or lack thereof, on my part. My lips felt swollen. The kiss, which was supposed to be passionate and award-winning, was failing miserably in Jeffrey’s opinion.
Still, my heart had been galloping all day, getting to kiss Ethan over and over again. It wasn’t like I hoped it’d be though. Kissing in movies never is what you would expect it to be. Too technical to be passionate. The technicalities were what made me so nervous. I guess everyone could see my nerves. It was mostly a closed set, with only the necessary grips and gaffers around.
“What the hell are we even doing, Elena?" Jeffrey glared at me. I just looked at him wordlessly. "We're creating magic here, Elena. I thought you had it in you to do this. I mean, you'd been doing so well. But one little kissing scene and you clam up like a dead fish!" His cold gaze glared down at me.
I tried not to shrink under his scrutiny just as I tried not to let his words cut me so deep that I cried right there on set. I just needed to get through this scolding and escape somewhere so I could have the impending meltdown threatening me.
Jeffrey let out a frustrated sigh, shooing me away with his hand. He lifted his microphone to make an announcement on the set, “Alright, we’ll call this one a day and pick it up again tomorrow. Prep for the Meeting Scene with Morgan and Lackney. Leads we don’t need you the rest of the day. Call the Sups.”
He turned away from me, releasing Ethan and me for the rest of the day. I hustled quickly down the hallway from the stage we were working on for the day and made my way to my trailer. I got as far as being able to see my trailer, before a hand reached out, grabbing my shoulder.
My eyes already burned with tears on the verge of my meltdown, but I glanced behind me to see who grabbed my shoulder. Ethan’s green eyes pierced my own, worry and concern emanating from him. I tugged my shoulder out of his grasp and ran the rest of the way to my trailer, throwing the door open and running inside.
I had pulled the door strongly behind me, but the slam I was expecting never came. Ethan followed me into my trailer, just as the tears began to pour down my face. I collapsed on the couch in the living area, grabbing a pillow to throw over my lap to bury my face in. I felt Ethan sit down beside me, his arm reaching across my back as sobs racked my body.
“Elle, shh,” he whispered to me. “Shh, it’s okay.” His hand rubbed comfortingly across my back as I cried my heart out into my pillow. After an excruciating half hour of sobbing, my tears finally slowed. I wasn’t done crying, but the tears seemed to need a break.
I turned my head out of my tear-soaked pillow, resting my cheek against the damp cloth. My puffy eyes searched up and found Ethan’s looking down at me in concern. “I’m sorry,” I said, my throat rough from crying so hard. “It’s just so much harder than I thought it would be…” A sob crept back up choking off the end of my sentence. I turned my head back into my pillow, willing the tears to subside.
Ethan leaned over me, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on top my head. “Elle, of course it’s tough,” he said, still using that same comforting tone of voice. “If it were easy, everyone would be able to do it. But you can’t let this get to you.”
I didn’t say anything, just continued shuddering my tears into my pillow once more. Ethan continued, “Elle, you have the talent. You just need to let yourself go. Just push through this and it will all be worth it. You are going to do amazing work in this town. I know it. Jeffrey knows it.”
I let out a sharp laugh that was a half sob. “Yeah right, Ethan. Jeffrey hates me. He just told me he didn’t think I was cut out for this.”
Ethan scoffed, “He wouldn’t say that. If he said anything close to that, he was only trying to motivate you to dig deeper. That’s what he does. And he knows you have it in you.” I didn’t respond to that.
Ethan pulled at my body, lifting me from the folded over position I was sitting in. I let him pull the tear-soaked pillow from my hands. He flipped it over, resting the damp side against his lap and pulled me down so I lay in a fetal position on the couch next to him, my head resting on the pillow on his lap. I sniffed and sighed at the comfort as his fingers combed lightly through my hair.
We stayed like that for a while. Ethan eventually picked up the television remote nearby, turning on the news while I lay there trying to forget the awful day I’d had.
Deep down, I knew that this was just a bad day. There would be more, for sure, but there would also be infinitely better days. I just had to get through this. I wanted to believe Ethan was right. I wanted to believe that I would do amazing things. But I couldn’t bring myself around to think about it at the moment. For now, I just wanted to cuddle up with my friend and pretend that we were normal. And Ethan let me do just that.