Chapter Twenty-Five
When Ethan and I got back to the cabin, I was still a little shaken by what had happened. Ideally, it would be nice if I could act like it wasn't a big deal, but the way everyone was reacting around me about Cate made me more anxious than Cate herself. Ethan had helped me into the cabin, which was empty except for the cleaning crew and Chef Dante. We avoided the staff, making our way to the second-floor living room, closing the double doors for a little privacy.
The rest of my friends were still out. I thought briefly about calling Mason to tell him everything that had happened but decided against it. He had been having so much fun with our friends earlier; I didn't want to ruin that. Besides, I had Ethan there with me now.
“Are you okay, Elle?” Ethan asked sitting down next to me on one of the sectionals. His brow was lined with worry and his green eyes still swam with pain and regret.
“Yeah,” I said, the slight tremor in my voice betraying me. “Why is she so set against me? Do you think she’ll do anything to me?”
Ethan shook his head and reached forward to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind my ear. “She won’t touch you, Elle. I’ll make sure of that.”
“What if she followed us back here?” I asked. “Don’t you have a restraining order against her? Can’t you press charges that she violated the restraining order? Maybe if we lock her up, she won’t come after me.” I bit my lip, thinking. “What did she mean? This is ‘her town?’ What was that?”
“Hush, sweetie,” Ethan said. “I know you’re scared, but don’t worry, Elle. I do have a restraining order against her. Stu is already getting in touch with the police here to press charges. But she lives in Aspen now. She has for years.”
“Who is Stu? How did you even know she was coming?” I asked.
“Stu’s my bodyguard. And we knew she was coming because I hired a private investigator to tail her since you told me you saw her last night,” Ethan admitted. “I wanted to make sure she was keeping her distance from you. I’m glad I did, too.”
“What if she followed us here?” I asked again, really letting my paranoia get to me.
“She can’t move without us knowing where she is,” Ethan said without a hint of worry in his voice, though his eyes still swam with emotions. “We’re safe, Elle.” I sat quietly, looking out the window near me into the darkened evening sky. I couldn’t help feeling that this was Ethan’s fault. I know he couldn’t control Cate, but if I had known about all this…
“You should have told me,” I said turning back to him. “When it was happening. You should have told me.”
“I know, Elle,” he said. "You don't deserve this. Hell, I don't even deserve to have you as a friend, let alone …" His stopped talking, looking at his hands in his lap. He looked back up at me, changing the subject, “I’m going to get you some hot chocolate, okay?” I shrugged, realizing I wasn’t going to get any closure from this conversation right now.
Ethan disappeared downstairs, leaving the living room door open. I stared after him, thoroughly confused about everything going on in my life. A few days ago, all I had been worried about was Ethan not talking to me and potentially being alone for a couple weeks. Now, I had to worry about Ethan’s stalker ex-girlfriend and Ethan himself was in my cabin. On top of everything, it was like the more Ethan talked and tried to explain why he had acted the way he had in New York, the more confused I got. He kept talking in cryptic circles.
“There she is!” Jane’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts as she pranced into the living room followed by Anthony. Jane gave me an odd look, sitting down on the couch next to me. “What’s going on with you?”
I shrugged, not wanting to get into it, “I don’t know. How was dinner?” I looked over at Anthony, who had sat down in an armchair next to the couch I was sitting on. He looked relaxed as usual, but his face was composed and blank. It seemed like he was going out of his way to look nonchalant.
Anthony gave a polite smile, “Good. Mason, Michelle, and Haden were going to town to meet some locals, I guess. So I hear Ethan is in town? Where is he?”
Oh, maybe he’s upset about me inviting another man over. “Yep. He’s downstairs getting something to drink,” I admitted shrugging as if it was no big deal. Anthony gave a nod without replying.
“Oh, is he?” Jane said, perking up. “You know, maybe I’ll go check on him. See if he needs any help.” Jane practically skipped out the room leaving me alone with Anthony. His mood had darkened drastically since he came in the room.
I let the silence fill the space between, unwilling to be the first to talk. Finally, Anthony spoke up, a coldness filling his eyes, “Why is Ethan here? What’s going on, Elena?”
I sighed, leaning my head back to look at the ceiling for a moment while I determined the best way to go about this. I could feel Anthony’s frustration build, as I stayed silent. When it seemed like Anthony was about to lose it from my silence, I looked over at him. “There’s…some stuff going on in my life that only Ethan can help me with,” I said cryptically. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I’ll tell you eventually.”
“I see,” he said. “And this…stuff…Can Ethan only help you with it right now? During your vacation? The vacation you asked me to join you for?" I heard the bite in his tone with his response.
“I know how this looks,” I began. “But some stuff came up that I can’t handle right now, and Ethan is the only one who can. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Elena,” Anthony sighed, the fight seeming to come out of him. “You know, everyone told me you were a lost cause. That I shouldn’t even bother. I thought the rumors were either untrue or you were the most oblivious woman I've ever met. Turns out, you are oblivious. And you can't even help it. You are the only one who can’t see the way Ethan looks at you.”
I blinked. “What are you talking about?” Anthony leaned forward on his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. His eyes raked across my face, trying to read my features and understand my confusion. He simply watched me while I tried to process what he insinuated, but I just couldn’t wrap my brain around it.
“Oh, hi, Anthony,” Ethan’s voice resonated through the room as he carried a box of pizza into the living room, followed by Jane carrying a tray laden with drinks. “Nice to see you again.” Ethan gave Anthony a nod, placing the food on to the coffee table with the tray of drinks Jane sat down.
“You, too,” Anthony mumbled, leaning back into his seat. I shook my head looking from Ethan to Anthony.
“Stu got us some pizza since we didn’t get to finish at the restaurant,” Ethan said, acting as if this was just a normal get-together with friends. “Here, have some.” He handed me a plate of Hawaiian pizza and placed a glass of milk in front of me.
“As fun as this is,” Jane said, still lingering in front of the coffee table. “I think I’m going to go for a dip in the hot tub. Any takers?” Her blue eyes flicked between Ethan and Anthony. Ethan politely shook his head, diving into his piece of pizza.
Anthony stood up, “Yeah, I’ll join you.” He looked at me as if waiting for me to stop him. I didn’t want to, though. At the moment, all I wanted was to talk to Ethan and figure out everything he was hiding. He wasn’t telling me something, and in light of our current situation, I felt like I needed to know everything. “I’ll leave you two alone to …talk,” Anthony raised an eyebrow and walked out the room with Jane.
When they were gone, Ethan paused his assault on the pizza in front of us, looking at me with raised eyebrows, “You’re okay with that?”
“With what?” I asked between bites of my own slice. I might have been stressed and completely confused about what was going on in my life, but I could not deny a perfectly good slice of Hawaiian pizza when it was sitting right in front of my face.
“Your boy-toy sitting in a hot tub with a beautiful woman,” he said.
“He’s not my boy-toy,” I said with my mouth full. I swallowed. “In fact, I’m really not sure if he’s my …anything. I invited him here to get to know him more, but we haven’t really had any time together. Both of us have been a little distracted and busy. Plus, I think Jane has a thing for him now, so … I don’t know what’s going on anymore. With anyone.”
Ethan looked at me, his expression unreadable, but clearly conflicted with different emotions. Without saying anything else, he flipped on the TV and settled back on the couch with me. We found a station showing reruns of Breaking Bad, one of our favorites, and silently watched it while we finished our meal.
After several episodes, Ethan and I were still in the living room and still had not spoken much since discussing Anthony. I didn’t know how to talk to him at the moment, so I elected to avoid conversation. We hadn’t seen anyone else since Anthony and Jane went to go relax in the hot tub. I was grateful, actually, because the silence and relaxation had been enjoyable after being on edge for most of the evening. With night having fallen hours ago, my anxiety began to creep back in. My anxiety still peaked as I thought about going to bed though.
“What’s wrong, Elle?” Ethan said lowering his head and looking at me through his lashes again. It was a signature look of his that usually resulted in him getting whatever he wanted.
“Nothing,” I said, continuing to watch the TV without really seeing what was on.
“Well, you’re torturing me with the lip-biting for the last hour. What’s really going on in that head of yours?” he asked, those striking green eyes still locked on me.
I sighed, giving in to his questions, “Well, I’m getting tired, and I know you said there’s nothing to worry about, but I can’t help worrying.” I shrugged. “I’ve got all these worst-case scenarios rolling through my head of…her…showing up here and burning the house down or suffocating me with a pillow in my sleep…” Ethan gave me look. I shook my head. “I know, it’s stupid and you say I’m safe,” I continued. “But I don’t feel safe.”
Ethan sighed, a look of pity and maybe shame in his features. He reached a hand towards me, resting it on my shoulder in a comforting way. “You are safe, Elle,” he said with conviction. “This is why I never told you. I didn’t want you to worry because I know how that brain of yours overthinks things.”
I rolled my eyes, continuing to bite my lip. Ethan slid even closer to me, reaching his other hand forward running his thumb over my bottom lip, extracting it from between my teeth. “Stop biting your lip,” he said in a low, husky voice, his eyes focused on my mouth. “You’re driving me crazy.”
I tilted my head in confusion. All these innuendos he was sending me had me thoroughly confused. Ethan continued, his gaze focusing back on my eyes, “How about I stay with you tonight? Just so you feel safe.” I sighed, already feeling relief at his suggestion.
“Would you?” I asked. “I know things are weird between us right now, but I would feel so much better. I might even be able to get some sleep.”
“I’ll stay with you, then,” Ethan said.
∞∞∞
I woke with a start, my eyes widening in the dark bedroom. Ethan and I had gone to bed hours ago. He had gone to the bathroom to change into his sleep clothes… that consisted of only a pair of soft shorts. I tried to keep my eyes off him while he settled down on his side of the bed, keeping his space.
We hadn't really talked as we lay in bed like we used to. This time, when he shut his light out, I just listened to the sound of his breathing as he fell asleep quickly.
Finally, his rhythmic breaths coaxed me into an edgy sleep. I dreamed of shadows with dark eyes watching me constantly though when I went to confront the dark shadows, there would be nobody there. It was the eerie feeling of being watched that jolted me awake.
As my senses focused in around me, I stiffened feeling an unexpected weight over my side. Ethan had evidently rolled towards me in his sleep. His arm was draped over my side, his hand nestled snugly under my camisole across my ribcage, just beneath my breast. His bare chest was pressed up against my back creating a warmth that radiated through me.
All the times that we had slept in the same bed over the years, this situation had never happened before. I nearly held my breath as I listened to him sleeping behind me. Could I slip out from under his arm unnoticed? Maybe I could roll over on my stomach and act like I had just turned in my sleep. I had decided to do just that when Ethan’s arm unexpectedly tightened around me, pulling me deeper into his chest and a spooning position. His face nuzzled into my hair as he sighed contently in his sleep.
I froze again, reweighing my options. I could try the rollover option, but it'd be harder now with the tight hold Ethan had over my torso. His hand had crept slight higher, as well. Any higher and he would definitely be grazing my breast. That would be awkward for both of us, I'm sure. I regretted not wearing a bra to bed, but come on – who sleeps with their bra on?
I could elbow him so he wakes up and lets me go, but that would bring attention to the fact that we were half-naked and spooning. That would be uncomfortable to confront. I supposed I could just stay there and try to fall back asleep. I was very comfortable. I hadn't slept that close to someone in a very long time, and it felt almost right to be cuddled up with my best friend. And I did feel safe in Ethan's arms…
After deliberating for what could have been an hour, listening to Ethan’s breathing and enjoying the warmth his body was exuding, I decided to stay put. I nestled a little deeper into Ethan’s chest and sighed. His arm tightened around me more and then jolted. He woke up. I pretended to be asleep, curious what he would do. I focused on my breathing, trying to create slow even breaths. Hopefully, he wouldn't be able to hear my heart because I was sure it was probably just a little more elevated than what would be normal for someone sleeping.
He held very still for a moment, probably facing the same inner turmoil that I had been. Then, very subtly, I felt Ethan move closer to me, his legs sliding forward to further spoon with my own so that our entire body was touching. His hand twitched slightly on my ribcage as if he wanted to move it higher, but didn’t want to scare me. My breathing hitched a bit, before I corrected it, focusing on breathing evenly to pretend to be asleep. We lay tightly together like that for a while, my eyelids getting heavy.
Before I drifted back off to sleep, I felt Ethan lean his mouth down, his breath on my skin before lightly kissing my neck. I nearly moaned at the feeling. My eyelids almost flew open, but I held myself still continuing to feign sleep.
What was that?! That was not a kiss between friends. Sure, Ethan had kissed me before. We had to kiss during filming for Empire Burning, but that was so staged and technical that it was not romantic at all. Since then, Ethan had made a habit of kissing me on the cheek or the forehead in a friendly way. Always friendly.
But friends don’t give each other lingering kisses on their necks! That’s something romantic. That’s something sensual. Or even sexual! Ethan and I didn’t think about each other like that. I mean, I did when I first met him, but I buried all that inside me.
As I had my silent freak out while pretending to sleep, Ethan’s arm loosened and his breathing evened out indicating he had fallen back asleep. I didn't know how I was going to get any sleep now. I let out a sigh of frustration. The complications in my life just continued to stack up. I didn't know what any of this meant but decided not to worry about it right that moment. Instead, I just lifted my own hand to cover Ethan's that was still pressed under my shirt against my ribcage. I let myself enjoy the feeling of being held by Ethan as I finally fell back to sleep.