While my friends were enjoying the night away back at Nix’s, I couldn’t stop thinking about Ty. I tried to have a good time, but my mind and heart were too worried. Too anxious.
“Are you alright? Feeling okay? You look pale,” Tiff asked touching my forehead with one hand while holding a beer in her second hand.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not sick. I’m tired, and trying to keep my thoughts on the right path, you know?”
“Your forehead is burning up.” The alarm in her voice brought Nix rushing to my side.
“What’s wrong?” She touched my forehead as well. “You have a fever. I’ll get you some Advil.”
Ugh, I wasn’t feverish or sick. My stress levels had reached their limit was all. Which explained why they both thought I was running a fever. Something to do with high blood pressure. The truth was, I couldn’t handle being far from Tyler after being warned by thugs and their bullet. How would Melody’s life turn out without her father?
I also hated being away from my daughter, but for her safety, I would leave her with her grandma tonight, and pick her up as planned in the morning. Tyler’s mom loved Melody, and often overprotected her in every way possible. It had gotten on my nerves one or two times, but tonight I was thankful for her tendencies; I needed my daughter in safe hands.
“I’m okay, girls. Trust me, I’m... well, tonight was crazy and I’m worried. That’s all.”
“Why don’t we watch a movie and order in a pizza?” Val suggested, then picked her phone up to order right away without waiting to see if we would agree. “Double cheese, right?” She knew us well.
“Of course, chicka.” Tiff laughed.
Maybe the food would help distract me. Dinner seemed a long time ago.
“What the hell is going on?” The question came out of my mouth unplanned. “Can we not catch a break for more than six months at a time? Why are we always hit with drama, injuries, or criminals?” I groaned and stomped my foot. “I’m tired of the bullshit, girls.”
“We are, too, Bekka, but this isn’t our fight. I know, we all know, Tyler is your man, but dealing with the Sullivans isn’t safe for us. They are crazy. Levi said Tyler know how to get his business back. We have to be patient, and trust them, that’s all we can do,” Val tried to comfort me.
Tyler had said he would have to spend time away. It sucked and went against what I desired, but it would allow him to work on his plan. I couldn’t take that away from him. Tyler had shown me before that he could handle pretty much anything. My trust in him convinced me our future would be thug free.
Tiff clapped her hands together. “Okay, girls. I’m sorry, I don’t want to be the party pooper. What are we watching?”
Coming to my side, Nix offered me a beer. Where’s hers? I wondered as I accepted the drink. “Just this one.” Drinking while breastfeeding could be harmful, but this was one beer and by the time I saw my baby again, my body would have burned off the alcohol.
“Aren’t you having some wine or a beer?” I asked Nix, but she shrugged and moved on past my question.
“Never Been Kissed, Dear John, How to be Single, or Trainwreck?” she asked.
“So, the usual options then?” I said, and everyone laughed. The list was our typical movie night. We had seen each one plenty of times already, but it never seemed to be enough.
I laughed my ass off with Trainwreck while devouring four slices of greasy pizza and, as it turned out, I needed it.
Yes, the thought of having Tyler away turned my stomach to knots, but I wasn’t alone. We were all going to deal with this crisis as a family. Ty and me, and our circle of friends.
“Thank you for having me over. It’s been fun, and I feel better now.” Bigger too. I’d eaten way too many slices of pizza, but it had tasted like heaven.
“Told ya,” Nix said giving me a tight hug.
“Which one next?” Val asked as she flipped through the box of DVDs.
“Wait, I have to say something.”
All eyes went to Nix.
“Tonight didn’t go as planned, but I still want to let you all know that… I’m pregnant.”
Her arm was still around my shoulder as I yanked her against me so fast our heads banged together. We laughed it off as the rest of the girls joined in.
This was awesome. It made me so happy for Nix after everything she’d been through in her life. She deserved the happiness a baby could provide.
“Congrats, Nix. I’m so excited for you and Levi. You are going to be a great mother.”
“Well, I know what not to do. I don’t want to be like my mom and control my child’s life like a chess game.”
“Then don’t.”
Small talk continued as cheerful congrats from our circle of friends went to Nix. Jackie, her mother, had always been too protective and controlling, which had stopped Nix from enjoying much of the “cool” stuff when we were growing up. She’d hated it, and had cried many times over barriers Jackie put in her path. For that reason alone, we all knew Nix would be a better mother than her own.
“I hope it’s a girl,” Val said. “That way she can be friends with Melody, and we’ll have a second generation like us under our eyes.”
Nix nodded. “How great would that be? They could be sisters like we are.”
Or boyfriend and girlfriend? Was I the only one thinking about this option? It had movie potential. Of course, it kind of threw me off to think about my daughter’s first boyfriend, but I had to admit it could happen. Not for a long, long time, though.
“What if it’s a boy, and he’s best friends with Melody—until they grow into teenagers and fall in love?” Nix was the person I’d expected to bring it up.
Laughing, I waved my hand up in the air while my face flushed. “I was thinking the same thing.” It embarrassed me to think about it.
“How far are you?” Val asked.
“Nineteen weeks. I found out late. My periods are never stable, and I’ve had light bleeding, but now,” she paused, “it’s safe to announce it! The baby is in here to stay.” Her eyes filled with tears as her hands cradled her stomach, and so did mine.
We spent the next several minutes congratulating Nix and touching her small baby bump. With her loose top, it hadn’t shown, but when she lifted it, the prettiest little belly ever was on display. At nineteen weeks, I’d had a small belly, too. It seemed so far still to go, but it wasn’t, I knew.
I wondered how she’d managed to keep this secret for weeks. I couldn’t have. From what I remembered, I’d announced it less than twenty-four hours after I found out.
“Is something wrong? You said it’s ‘safe to announce’ now...” Maybe I should have waited to ask but, I needed to know.
“Yeah, well, I have to rest a lot.” She frowned. “There were a few days where I thought I would lose the baby, but we’re good now so long as I stay in bed most days.”
After a second movie, I went home. The house was empty, so I tried to contact Tyler, but he didn’t answer. After what had gone done, I didn’t know if he would spend the night at the club or not. He had a lot to take care of, I knew that much.
I changed into comfy yoga pants and a t-shirt and grabbed the keys to my car. There was nothing to be done for it, I had to drive to the club to see my man. My tired eyes didn’t agree, but I had to find some kind of peace before any kind of sleeping would happen tonight.
When I walked in, I noticed the music was playing loud, like usual, and most people were dancing or had a drink in hand. It all looked normal, but underneath the appearance, a man could barely keep his thoughts together. That was how Tyler looked when I spotted him. Relief washed over his pale face and a small smile came through when he saw me. He left the drinks behind the counter and came to meet me. Lips on lips, he welcomed me back to his side.
“What are you doing here?”
“You missed my call, and I couldn’t go to bed without seeing or talking to you, so I had to come.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I ruined our night out.”
We were together now, so I didn’t care about the rest. “Don’t worry about that, okay? I’m in this with you.”
“I can’t let you get involved in this mess, but thanks for coming back. I wanted to see you.” Our lips met again and soon a brush of lips became an intense kiss. We had to stop before it got out of hand. I loved my man, and hated the idea we could be in danger.
“Hey, Bekka, weren’t you with the girls?” Levi startled me with his question and Tyler pulled away.
“I was, but I got tired and went home to sleep. Except, I couldn’t because of how worried I was about Tyler. So, I’m here now.”
“You should go get some rest now. I’ll see you in the morning.” Tyler looked down at his feet when he admitted he had no intention of coming home to rest.
“Where are you going to go? Aren’t you tired?”
His index finger pointed to the ceiling. “Upstairs, I still have our old bed there. That’ll be enough.” He shrugged.
My “this-better-be-a-joke” face made its appearance as my hand went to my waist and I tipped my head to the side.
“Right now, it’s a war zone here. Well, not exactly, but I have to keep my eyes on it. They have to know I’m back and taking care of business.”
“So, you won’t be coming home at night until this is over?” Where was my mind when I agreed to this?
“You know I want to, that’s all I want, but right now I have to play it by ear and see how it goes.” His fingers locked around my wrist before pulling me closer to his chest. “It’s temporary, babe. We’ll be free, and in a much safer environment after. You need to trust me on this one.”
“Don’t get your hands dirty.” I pushed away from him. “Visiting you in jail every Sunday isn’t how I plan to live our life.” My fingers covered my mouth as soon as the words were out. I couldn’t believe I’d said such things.
Tyler seemed to be at loss for words and, ashamed of myself, I didn’t blame him. I had to leave.
“Good night, Tyler.”
He didn’t try to stop me. If he did, I didn’t hear him with the music playing around us. The doorman opened the door for me when I approached.
“Bekka. Wait,” Levi called, trying to stop me. “Tyler isn’t going to jail. He’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, Levi, he will. Keep an eye on him. I’m tired.” I got into my car without looking at Levi or Tyler. Earlier, I’d missed him and wanted to spend time together, but now I had no idea what I wanted. Maybe my bed and a few hours of rest to think about everything from tonight.
Tomorrow would be a new day. I had to stay positive if I didn’t want to go back into the black hole.