Not slamming the door to the SUV took every ounce of strength Balthazar had, but he managed. He took a moment before getting behind the wheel to let the cool morning air calm him. It didn’t help.

The way he’d seen it, he and Annette were offering Connor two very different options. She wouldn’t give him commitment, but she’d be fun to be with. Connor could continue the carefree life he’d always known and still have affection and great sex. She’d seemed like less of a challenge when Balthazar had assumed she simply wanted to use Connor when it was convenient. But the two had become close over the past week, even without having much time alone.

Balthazar wanted to give Connor more than he’d had from anyone else. He could be the man who showed Connor what it was like to be the sole focus of someone’s attention. To experience more than what was on the surface. To open up with complete trust. They hadn’t even had a chance to begin building the relationship Balthazar knew they could have because Connor wasn’t ready to take that last step.

And with just a few words, Annette had told him he didn’t have to. She’d made him believe he could have it all.

Pulling out of the long driveway, Balthazar eyed the reporters hovering around the gates, grateful for the dark windows which would give his charges some privacy. He winced at the thought, but he had to consider them that way from now on. He was Connor’s bodyguard. He’d known that was how it had to be from the start and this proved he’d been right. He couldn’t risk his job to explore more with Connor. Not on these terms.

Annette had won.

Once they’d crossed the causeway from Mestre to Venice he parked the car in the public garage on Piazzale Roma. He’d memorized the directions to St Mark’s Clock Tower shortly after Connor had expressed interest in seeing it, as well as a few places in the area he knew Connor would like. Once there, they could travel on foot to all the tourist traps.

The boat tour itself would take some time, but they had until 2 PM to meet up with the tour guide. Having Annette along wouldn’t be a problem, since Balthazar had bought out the tour to give Connor a break from the crowds.

Or that’s what he’d told himself anyway. He wasn’t a romantic, so he hadn’t pictured holding Connor while they took in the beautiful view. But he had been looking forward to seeing Connor with his guard down, smiling and noticing every detail, speaking freely without worrying he’d ruin the image people had of him.

Would he be that relaxed with Annette there? Balthazar motioned for Connor and Annette to follow, leading them to the ticket booth for the vaporetto—a water bus that would take them to San Marco. As he stopped at the end of the line he could hear them talking about some kind of online drama between two bands back in the states.

Annette seemed to be doing most of the talking. Not that he blamed her for that, Connor could be difficult to draw into a conversation, but the man didn’t seem at ease. He kept glancing over at Balthazar, then down, as though he wanted to say something.

The line moved quickly, so Balthazar bought the tickets before pulling Connor aside, grateful when Annette held back, while staying in sight.

“What is it?”

Connor shook his head, his expression tight. “I might not be great at reading people, but I can read you. When you’re around I feel you. Like you’re touching me even if you’re out of reach.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “You’ve pulled away. I can’t feel you there anymore.”

Damn it, how was he supposed to let Connor go when he said things like this? He tried to keep his tone light, putting his hand on Connor’s shoulder, a half smile on his lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“No, but you think I’ve already decided.”

“You were told you don’t have to.”

“But that’s still a choice.” Connor shook his head. “What Annette’s offering isn’t what you want.”

Balthazar’s smile faded. He couldn’t pretend to be happy about this situation. “No.”

Nodding slowly, Connor hunched his shoulders and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his blazer. “Then nothing’s changed. You said you’d wait until I knew what I wanted. I still don’t.”

Jaw clenched, Balthazar stepped into Connor’s personal space, turning his hand to grip the back of Connor’s neck. “I won’t play these games, Connor. You say you haven’t chosen, but every time I see you with her, it’s clear you have. So I’ll keep my distance, because otherwise, I’ll forget how professional I’m supposed to behave.”

“Who said you had to behave?” Connor’s brow lifted. “I’d kiss you every time I see you too, but I didn’t want to piss you off.”

This man is going to be the death of me. Balthazar groaned, loosening his grip on Connor’s neck. “You’re on a date with her. That would hardly be appropriate.”

“Says the man grabbing me in front of a crowd. Think those photographers got a good shot?” Connor breathed out a laugh, resting his arms on Balthazar’s shoulders as he leaned in close. “How about now?”

The briefest touch of Connor’s lips on his and Balthazar almost forgot where they were. He caught the flash of a camera from behind his closed lids and pushed Connor away, glaring at him. “I thought you were joking about the cameras.”

“Nope. Fuck ‘em.” He grinned at Balthazar, holding out his hand. “Come on. This isn’t a date. For any of us. Just three friends—who wanna fuck—hanging out.”

Balthazar’s jaw ticked. He walked past Connor, ignoring his hand. “Get on the goddamn boat. You will pay for that, boy.”

“Promise?” Connor caught up, holding Annette’s hand, which didn’t improve Balthazar’s mood. Once they’d boarded, Connor faced Balthazar, his smile uncertain. “I meant what I said, Balthazar.”

This was the most messed up situation Balthazar had ever let himself get dragged into. Still, as irritated as he was that he couldn’t predict what Connor would do from one moment to the next, he was beginning to enjoy himself. And perhaps he hadn’t lost Connor after all.

His lips slanted and he leaned against the railing as a cool breeze rose up across the Venetian Lagoon. He inclined his head to Connor. “So did I.”

* * *

Taking points in a situation like this would be childish, but Annette mentally gave Balthazar one for the last round. If this was a game, they’d be neck and neck. She’d had a feeling he’d been about to fold before they got in the car. Declare her the winner.

The idea hadn’t made her as happy as it should have.

He cared about Connor. He was better for Connor. If she was a decent person, she’d be the one stepping aside, but she’d be giving up the best relationship she’d ever had with someone who wasn’t friends or family.

If Connor gave the slightest hint that he wanted Balthazar and not her, she’d bow out gracefully. She’d considered doing so anyway a few times, but then he’d do something sweet or funny and she realized she’d miss having him in her life.

Not making him choose had seemed like the perfect alternative, but Balthazar clearly didn’t agree. And who could blame him? Most people were monogamous by default. Fine, she wasn’t. And Connor didn’t seem to be, but if the dynamics of the band were anywhere as complicated as she thought they were, maybe they’d hit their quota of unconventional relationships.

Balthazar was the very embodiment of conventional. If he’d been a straight man she’d assume he wanted the white picket fence and a pretty little wife at home raising their three kids.

Not two point five. Unless a dog counted as half a kid? She never got those statistics, but anyway, Balthazar fit that mold.

She sighed and stepped up to the banister, leaning against it and letting the wind blow her carefully styled hair all over the place. The colorful buildings around them as they docked, the scents of foods she didn’t recognize, the cheerful shouts in Italian and the sound of street performers playing Vivaldi in the distance grounded her in the present. She could worry about what would happen with Connor later. No way was she spending the day in Venice brooding over a situation she couldn’t control.

She giggled as Connor wrapped his arm around her waist and ran with him onto the sidewalk. She checked to make sure Balthazar was following. He was, but with long strides, stopping for a moment to help an elderly woman step off the water bus. Once the older woman’s feet hit solid ground, she started chatting with Balthazar, holding his arm and gesturing around excitedly. He strolled along with her, nodding and smiling until a younger woman who looked like she must be the woman’s granddaughter came and led her away.

Wicked man, being all perfect. She tugged Connor’s hand so he’d stop and wait. Which had him watching Balthazar too, a soft smile on his lips.

She shook her head, elbowing him in the side. “If you let that guy go, I’m stealing him, I swear to god.”

Connor’s lips parted. Then he burst out laughing. “And here I was, worried that you hated each other.”

“I wish.” She mumbled under her breath.

Balthazar joined them, a blush staining the top of his cheeks. “Apparently, I look just like her late husband. She was certain I was sent here to spend the day with her. Her granddaughter disagreed.”

Annette rested her head on Connor’s shoulder, her tone sympathetic. “Looks like you’ve got competition, pal.”

“More?” He snorted when Annette smacked his arm. “Come on, I’m starving.” He looked over at Balthazar. “Do we have time to stop for breakfast?”

“You had breakfast on the way to pick up Annette.”

“Okay, second breakfast then.”

Balthazar pressed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. “And now he’s a hobbit.”

“He’s a growing boy.” Annette rubbed Connor’s stomach over his jacket, surprised at how firm it was despite how much he ate. Shiori had once commented she’d kill for his metabolism. Annette would definitely consider it. “All I had was a mimosa, so I wouldn’t mind grabbing something quick, if that’s okay?”

Checking his phone, Balthazar nodded. “We have time. There’s a place called Rosa Salva that has good reviews on Tripadvisor. I’d planned to check it out today, so we might as well go now.”

“You checked out reviews?” Annette kept stride as Balthazar easily led them away from the small crowd going in the other direction. “I didn’t even think to look at a map.”

“I’m not surprised.”

Would it be wrong to push him into the Grand Canal?

She scowled, glancing over at the water, not even sure that was the canal. But Balthazar was back to being an asshole, so that was good. She didn’t have to feel guilty when Connor held her hand again.

They reached the shop after a short walk, tucked away in what looked like a narrow alley filled with different storefronts. Thankfully, the crowd hadn’t made their way here yet, so they were able to walk freely around the displays to decide what they wanted to eat.

The only problem was, Annette couldn’t decide. The pastries were mouthwatering, some so pretty she just wanted to admire them, others looking downright, sinfully delicious. If she stuffed her face with all the ones she wanted to try, she’d never fit in her stage clothes tomorrow.

Connor began taking one of every pastry she spent more than a minute staring at. She turned her stare to him.

“You’re looking exactly how I feel. I might eat a lot, but even I can’t try everything alone. If we share, our options are limitless.” His smile faltered as he glanced over at Balthazar, who avoided his gaze. “I mean, special treats like this.”

“I knew what you meant.” Annette picked out a few fluffy looking pastries, filled with different kinds of jams and custards. If Balthazar didn’t cool it soon, she was going to kick him. “And I’m good with sharing.”

Thankfully, Balthazar didn’t rise to the bait, because the toes of her boots were sharp. They paid for all their pastries, got some coffee, and brought everything to an empty table to dig in.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she paused with a tiny, marble glazed chocolate cake halfway to her lips. Damn it.

She checked the number, then put the cake on a napkin. “I’ll be just a minute.” She quickly slipped outside to answer the call. “Joanna?”

“Hey, sweet girl.” Joanna’s voice was almost a purr, and Annette flushed, looking around to make sure no one was watching her. They’d probably think she was having phone sex.

With Joanna, that wasn’t far-fetched.

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Not really.” Annette grinned, happy to share her excitement with the woman. “I’m in Venice!”

“Oh, I love it there! You should find out if you can take Gondola lessons. I did and it was hard, but fun. How long are you there for?”

“Just a couple days.” Annette sighed and leaned against the wall by the large glass window. “We’re at this cute little café now, called Rosa Salva. Then we’re heading to St. Mark’s Clock Tower. I don’t think lessons are on the schedule.”

Joanna went quiet. Then laughed. “You’re on a schedule? With your bandmates? Now, that doesn’t sound like much fun at all.”

“No, they’re off doing their own thing. I’m with Connor.” She clenched her jaw. “And his bodyguard.”

“Ah. And I take it the bodyguard set the schedule. Connor doesn’t seem the type.”

“He isn’t.”

“Doesn’t the man work for him?”

“Kinda?” Annette tipped her head back, sighing again. She couldn’t very well talk to anyone else about this. Maybe Joanna would give her some advice. “Connor and his bodyguard have… It’s complicated.”

“Having an ‘it’s complicated’ is boring.” Joanna yawned, as though to emphasize the point. “Are you trying to get him out of the picture?”

“No. I was straight with both of them. It doesn’t bother me if they’re together. Only, they’re not.” Her stomach growled. Evidently, it didn’t like being delayed by her drama. “Not yet, anyway.”

Silence. She could picture Joanna nodding. “So Connor is interested in you.”

“Yes.”

“And in this man. The bodyguard.”

“Yeah.”

“Is the man a complete asshole, or is he appealing?”

“He’s not my biggest fan.” To put it lightly. Annette licked her bottom lip, getting a taste of the chocolate she’d been denied. “But when he’s not being a jerk, I like him.”

“Then the solution is simple.” Joanna’s tone sounded amused, like she was surprised Annette hadn’t realized this already. “Seduce him.”

“What? Oh hell no. Nope. No way. Not happening.” Annette lowered her voice as a few people slowed, glancing over at her like she’d lost her mind. “I said I’d share. What you’re talking about is—”

“Sharing.”

“But—”

“Enjoy yourself, sweetness. And let me know how it goes.” Joanna let out a husky, spine-tingling laugh. “What are you doing spending all your time on the phone? You’re in Venice!”

The line clicked off and Annette tightened her grip on her phone, shaking her head as though Joanna was there and could see her.

Seduce Balthazar?

Is she insane?

She walked back into the pastry shop, schooling her expression so Connor wouldn’t worry. As soon as she sat down, he held her abandoned cake up to her lips.

Taking a small bite, she moaned as the rich flavor of creamy chocolate filled her mouth. Inside there was a delicious syrup that drizzled down her chin. She caught it with her finger, moaning again as she licked it off.

“Oh my god. I usually laugh when people say any food is better than sex, but this…” She paused with her finger in her mouth, catching Balthazar watching her. She hadn’t been trying to get his attention, but she definitely had it. She flicked her tongue over her bottom lip and he shuddered.

All right, maybe Joanna wasn’t crazy after all.

Taking the cake from Connor, she offered it to Balthazar. “You have to try this.”

“Share with Connor.” Balthazar’s rough tone had her biting back a smile.

“I am.”

* * *

Connor had a hard time focusing on the food. Every single bite was to die for, but watching Annette and Balthazar was doing a whole lot more for him. He held his breath as Balthazar leaned forward, taking a bite of the cake, his gaze never leaving Annette’s.

Chewing slowly, Balthazar nodded, licking his lips as he finished the mouthful. He ran his thumb under his bottom lip and Connor shifted as his dick swelled in his pants.

“You’re right.” Balthazar flicked his tongue over his thumb. “It’s incredible.”

Annette bit her bottom lip. “Do you want more?”

Balthazar’s lips curved slightly. “I’m tempted, but I think I’ve had enough.”

“There’s plenty left where that came from.” Annette turned to Connor, offering him the last of the cake.

He took his time savoring every single crumb, sucking the syrup from her fingers, and trying to make sense of the exchange. There was some kind of underlying message he’d missed. One he wasn’t sure was good or not. They were being nicer to one another, so good? Maybe?

Sitting in the car, then standing on the boat, had left him restless. He wanted to try all the pastries, but he had to get moving. Maybe then he could focus on the problem of him and Balthazar and Annette.

Because right now, it didn’t seem like a problem at all.

He hadn’t expected to find one person he wanted to be with long-term, never mind two. That kinda thing happened to men like Brave, who no man or woman should be forced to handle alone. Or guys like Alder, who had so much love to give Connor hadn’t been surprised when both Jesse and Danica fell for him.

Seeing the trios together didn’t seem out of place. But Connor knew they were close. They shared everything. Their bodies, their lives, their darkest secrets. Even the fucked up parts of themselves they hid from the world.

Any relationship should be like that. And Connor wished he could find that kind of love.

But he wasn’t sure he could give it, so he refused to expect more from anyone else. Which had worked for him. Until now.

Suddenly he had two people in his life who saw something in him than he’d never seen in himself. He loved being around Annette. He loved how easily she made him laugh. How she effortlessly filled in the blanks if he lost focus for a minute, and didn’t look at him like he was stupid. He loved how she challenged him, and everyone around her, whenever she was passionate about something.

She was ambitious and energetic and never made him feel like he needed to slow down.

But then, sometimes he did, and Balthazar was there to steady him. Balthazar expected so much of him, but made him believe he could do almost anything. He listened in a way few people ever had. He was a stable presence Connor didn’t want to lose. He was stronger than anyone Connor knew, and not just physically. He cared about people, asking nothing in return. Seeing him taking care of Tate had made Connor fall a little in love with him.

And Connor had never believed he could truly love anyone.

When Connor was a kid he’d seen all kinds of therapists who’d explained to both him and his father that he was different from other children. He had a hard time paying attention in class. He didn’t make friends easily. He was hyper and sometimes even destructive. They said it wasn’t his fault, he’d been born that way. A birth defect. His brain wasn’t quite…normal.

His father had cried that night and held him and told him he didn’t care what the therapist thought. Connor was perfect.

But Connor knew he wasn’t. His mother would still be with them if he was.

He’d grown up grateful that his father loved him, but never sure if the love he gave in return was enough. Not after putting his father through hell all those years.

So yeah, love scared him. A lot. How was he supposed to pick one person who loved him over another? Why should he? Other people were happy sharing and if Annette and Balthazar could be…?

Except…

They were hardly looking at one another now. Balthazar stood, wiping his hands on a napkin and tossing it in the nearby trash.

“This has been interesting, but since you were so honest, Annette, I’ll give you the same respect.” Balthazar faced Annette as she stood. “Stop. It’s not going to work. Some people may enjoy having multiple lovers, but I’m not one of them. And I don’t think Connor is either.”

The whole world seemed to stand still for a moment. Connor shook his head as something inside him snapped. He hooked his hand under the table, tossing it over, then stepped up to Balthazar, slamming his hand into the center of the man’s chest.

“You know shit about me. I’m fucking done. With both of you.” He backed away, not sure why he’d said that. He didn’t mean it, but he was so fucking mad. He held up his hands as Balthazar approached him slowly. “No. Just leave me alone. Damn it, I have to go. I have to get out of here.”

He bolted from the shop, not sure where he was going. Only knowing he’d exposed himself in a way he promised he wouldn’t.

Neither of them had ever seen him like this. And he wouldn’t let them. If he ran far enough maybe they wouldn’t find out he wasn’t the man he pretended to be. He wasn’t okay. He never would be.

Even the people who loved him left when they found out.

Only one had ever stayed.

He cut down a small street without shops, skidding to a stop and dropping to his knees. He fumbled for his phone, pressing speed dial on the first number. Always the first number, even though he hadn’t needed to call like this in a long time.

“Dad? Yes, I’m okay. I just…” His eyes teared and he sank back against the wall behind him, choking back a sob. “I fucked up. I really fucked up. Please tell me what to do.”