Connor dressed quickly, wishing he had time for a run before he had to face both bands. He still wasn’t sure how the men he’d known for years would react to learning about his…issues. Now he had to pretend to be normal in front of virtual strangers. His hands shook as he pulled on his shirt. He tangled his hand in the long sleeve, cursing when he shoved and the fabric ripped under the arm.

“Slow down, Connor.” Balthazar came over, stopping him from yanking the shirt off, unbuttoning the buttons he’d left done up when he’d tried to pull it on. “This is one of your concert shirts.”

“Which I just fucking ruined.” Connor threw the shirt on the bed and glared at it. “I brought five nice shirts. Now I have four. Fucking awesome.”

“We’ll buy you another one tomorrow when we’re in Rome.” Balthazar’s soothing tone made breathing a little easier. He didn’t make Connor feel stupid for freaking out over a shirt. “This is a casual meeting between the bands to discuss the collaboration. Why not wear something comfortable?”

“All my T-shirts are worn out and have holes in them.” But he had three-hundred dollar jeans. He groaned, raking his fingers though his hair. “I don’t want to look like a slob.”

“Would you like to borrow one of my shirts?”

“What if I ruin it?”

“I doubt you will, sitting there having a conversation, but I’m not that attached to my clothes.” Balthazar hooked his arm around Connor’s neck and kissed his forehead. “Stay here. I’ll get a shirt from the bus. Do you want me to grab you some coffee while I’m upstairs?”

“Please.” Maybe coffee would make everything seem less overwhelming. He looked at the bed and sighed. “I could lay back down and crash for the rest of the day. They don’t really need me for this stupid meeting.”

“You’re part of the band, Connor. Your input is as important as anyone else’s.” Balthazar slid his hand to the back of Connor’s neck, meeting his eyes. “Did you take your medication?”

“Not yet, but I got the stupid shot.”

“I know, and once your system has regulated you won’t need both, but until then you need to take the pills.”

“Fine.” Connor pressed his eyes shut and tipped his head back. “Shit, I’m sorry. Everything’s aggravating me right now. I appreciate the reminder. I need it, actually. Not sure where my phone is, but my dad probably texted me to make sure I don’t forget. I can be a dick to him too when I’m like this.”

“Your phone is in your jacket. And you’re not being a dick. I get it.” Balthazar squeezed the back of his neck. “Skull or Josh would have made sure there’s water in the fridge down here. Go grab a bottle and take your pills. I won’t be long.”

Even after Balthazar left, his instructions steadied Connor almost as much as his presence. Back when Connor lived with his father, they’d come up with a strict schedule that left no room for the uncertainty that made his condition seem unmanageable. Once he’d moved out on his own he’d come to rely on his father’s texts and alerts on his phone. The medication had given him a false sense of security, convincing him he was ‘better’. Now he had to start over and having someone care enough to stand by him meant more than he could say.

He didn’t want to be a burden on Balthazar, but the man never made him feel like he was. The way he gave orders was almost second-nature. Whether that was from his time in the military or his kink, Connor didn’t know. But he appreciated it.

Pulling out a sample pack of his medication, he palmed the pills and headed into the basement den, nodding to Tate who was sitting on the loveseat with North. The drummer’s face was red and he was sitting as far away from XVI Hours’s vocalist as he could get.

Connor pulled a water bottle from the fridge, eyeing North. Was the guy making Tate uncomfortable? Sure, Tate didn’t blame him for the kidnapping and his injuries—neither did Connor—but that didn’t mean Tate wanted the man hitting on him at every opportunity.

“The rest of your band upstairs?” Connor uncapped the bottle, popped the pills into his mouth, then took a few gulps of ice cold water. He set the bottle on the short counter by the fridge, folding his arms over his chest when North nodded. “Maybe you should be with them.”

“Fuck, Connor. Don’t you start too.” Tate scowled, grabbing North’s wrist when he stood. “We’re hanging out. It’s cool.”

“You sure?” Connor relaxed at Tate’s nod. He wasn’t sure what was going on between the kid and the singer, but so long as Tate was good, he’d stay out of it. No need to warn North like Orion had Connor and Balthazar when it came to Annette.

If North hurt Tate, he’d pay. If the man didn’t know that already, he wasn’t very smart.

Back in the room, Connor checked his phone, smiling when he saw the expected message from his father.

Dad: Take your pills as soon as you get this text. And don’t forget to eat. Chips don’t count.

Connor: Done. And I’ll have breakfast in a bit.

Dad: Hey! You’re up early. How are you doing?

Connor: Good. I hope I didn’t scare you yesterday. I shouldn’t have skipped the last shot. I’m sorry.

Dad: So long as you’re back on track, it’s okay. I’m glad you called. Is Jesse helping you?

Connor: I’m sure he will, but Balthazar is the one who reminded me this morning. He’s awesome. I don’t think he’ll let me slack off.

Dad: He’s one of the bodyguards, right?

Connor: Yeah… I really like him.

Dad: Like like him?

Connor: Yeah

Dad: Son, I’m happy to hear that. But you know how difficult it can be for people to…understand what you’re dealing with. I don’t want you to get hurt.

Connor frowned. He’d hoped his father would be happy for him. He’d never had a real relationship. Shouldn’t his father be excited to meet Balthazar? Asking all the things parents did when their kid met someone they were serious about?

Connor: He understands. He’s a freakin’ therapist, Dad.

Dad: That helps, but I hope you’re not giving up on finding a nice woman because of what happened with your mother.

Blinking at the words he couldn’t believe his father had just written, Connor put his phone down on the bed and walked across the room, finishing off his water. His phone buzzed. Probably his father, sending another text.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to see it.

Not many people knew Connor was bisexual, but he’d come out to his father pretty young. In the bluntest way possible. As in ‘Dad, I like fucking guys and girls’. They hadn’t discussed his sexuality much after that, besides the odd reminder to use protection. Connor had always assumed his father would be fine with whoever he ended up with.

If he ever ended up with anyone.

Balthazar stepped into the room, coffee in one hand and a couple of shirts in the other. “Everyone’s gathering in the kitchen. Get dressed, take a few sips of coffee, then—” He cut himself off, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“My dad…” Connor shook his head, not sure what to say.

“Is he asking you to go home?”

“No. That would make sense.” Connor rubbed his face with his hands. “I told him about you.”

Setting the coffee mug on the nightstand, Balthazar faced him. “And…?”

“And he mentioned me finding a ‘nice woman’.” Connor ground his teeth. “I could tell him about Annette, but fuck that. I have an amazing man in my life and that’s not good enough for him? He talks about gay rights and ‘love is love’ and then pulls this shit?”

Nodding slowly, Balthazar took his hand and led him to the bed, pulling Connor down to sit with him. “He likely believes he’s being supportive. Being an ‘ally’ in the abstract is easy. What did he say?”

“Something about not letting shit with my mom change my mind about women.” He gnashed his teeth. “Because, you know, I’m into men because my mother abandoned me.” His throat tightened as his own words hit him. He shook his head. “But she didn’t. I pushed her away. I don’t blame her.”

Balthazar inclined his head. “Maybe you don’t. But he might.”

“He shouldn’t. He was there when I was completely out of control.” He rubbed his thighs, wishing they didn’t have to talk about this again. At least it was with Balthazar, who didn’t judge her. The few people he’d ever talked to about his mother didn’t understand why he didn’t hate her. His father rarely brought her up at all. “I’m not with you because I have ‘mommy issues’.”

“I know that, Connor.” Balthazar reached out to grab the coffee mug and handed it to him. “Your father will either come to terms with that, or he won’t. Tell him what you’ve told me. He might not be aware that what he said was hurtful. Which doesn’t make it okay, but you have a good relationship with him. Hopefully, he’ll show the acceptance he has in the past.”

Connor took a sip of coffee and nodded. “I hope so.”

“Do you need some time to talk to him? I could go tell the others to give you a few minutes.”

“No. Just give me a sec.” He grabbed his phone, frowning at the message.

Dad: Are you still there?

Dad: We both know you make bad decisions when you’re off your medication. I’m sure you feel like this man is very special right now, but don’t rush into anything. One day you might want a normal life. A family. You like both men and women. Why not make the choice that’s easiest?

All right, Connor was done with this shit. He tapped in a quick reply.

Connor: I’m falling in love with this man. Maybe it won’t be easy, but he’s worth whatever I’ve gotta deal with to be with him. And he thinks I’m worth something too. I’ve gotta go. TTYL.

Grabbing one of the two T-shirts Balthazar had left on the bed, Connor quickly pulled it on. He set his phone on the nightstand and took another gulp of coffee.

Balthazar was watching him, his face drawn with concern. “Are you all right?”

Connor grabbed his phone and handed it to Balthazar, finishing his coffee as Balthazar read the text. Balthazar’s lips curved slightly, his gaze warm when he finally looked up.

“More than all right.” Connor grinned. “If I can be that blunt with my father, and let you know how I feel, dealing with the bands will be a piece of cake.” He closed his eyes as his stomach growled, picturing those delicious little desserts he’d had yesterday. “Mmm, cake. Let’s go, I’m fucking starving.”

“I don’t think there’s any cake.” Balthazar stopped him at the door with a hand on his arm, moving up behind him and brushing a kiss on the side of his neck. “I’m glad you told me how you feel.”

Okay… Connor glanced back at him as they made their way up to the main floor. He hadn’t really expected more from Balthazar. Not yet. “You don’t feel the same.”

“I’m a little more reserved, Connor. You know that.” Balthazar held up a hand before Connor could say anything. “I’m risking my job to be with you. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy, including sharing you with someone else. I care about you. I want you in my life.”

“Sounds a lot like love.”

Chuckling, Balthazar continued up the steps. “It really does.”