Still livid over the way that Ashe-hole had treated her, Kenzi found Kira waiting for her in the command center a couple of hours later. "You okay?" She asked in concern.

"No, I'm not," the other woman admitted. "I'm sick to death of being scared all the time. I'm madder than hell because I can't seem to control those damn panic attacks. I just want to feel like I'm in control of my life again."

"Girl, I feel ya," she fervently agreed as she sat down beside her, the dogs settling at her feet. "I know what it's like to fight the monsters hiding in the dark. If you need to talk about it, I'll understand where you're coming from. You won't get any judgment from me."

Kira turned eyes filled with emotion on her and asked, "How did you fight them, Kenz? How did you take control of your fear?"

"I had to face my demons," she admitted. "To prove to myself that they weren't stronger than me. To show them that no matter what they did, they couldn't break me. And as a big fuck you, I hacked their bank accounts and gave all their money to charity."

The other woman looked shocked before she burst into laughter. "Kenzi, I freaking love you," she said in amusement. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"Just keepin' it real," she said with a wink.

Kira's smile slowly faded, and she asked, "I need to face my fears, don't I?"

"Hey, it worked for me," she replied with a shrug.

The other woman chewed on her bottom lip before asking warily, "Can you get me in to see Jaeger?"

"Yeah, but… are you sure you want to?" She queried in concern.

"Hell no, I don't want to," she quickly denied. "But I need to."

"All the men are in the war room," she imparted. "Now would be a good time."

"Then let's do this," Kira said as she stood, a look of grim determination on her face.

"Rock on," she agreed and grabbed the items that she'd need.

 

***

 

Christ Almighty.

What the hell am I doing? Kira wondered as they made their way across the island to an airplane hangar. As she watched the geekette attach some kind of device to the electronic keypad and unlock the door of a large container, she wondered it again. Was she really going to walk in there and confront the bastard who had tortured her and left her for dead?

Damn right she was!

Kira was a woman on a mission. A mission of vengeance. Because someone had tried to kill her again, and that just pissed her off. She was tired of being afraid all the time and cowering in fear. It was time to take back control of her life. She had finally found her backbone, and now she dredged up every ounce of loathing and fury within her.

"Okay, girl," Kenzi said as she pulled a gun from the small of her back. "He's restrained, but I'll take him out if he tries anything."

She was trembling with nerves as she pulled the door open and stepped inside the… walk in cooler? What the hell? An anguished moan from the far end of the room drew her attention to the back of the space. She gasped in shock at the sight of a hideous creature chained in a spread eagle position to the wall.

"Holy fuck," Kenzi breathed from behind her and flipped on the lights. "Jax really gave him a taste of his own medicine."

Kira stared at the scene before her in disbelief. Jax had done this? No. She didn't believe it. The caring, compassionate man she knew wasn't capable of doing something this brutal. There was no way that he'd done this. The horribly disfigured thing attached to the wall barely resembled a man, much less the immaculately groomed Jaeger Von Osterman.

That was when she realized that there was no reason to fear this pitiful looking creature. The bastard was just as helpless as she'd been when he'd tied her to the bed. He wasn't even the monster that she remembered. He was just a man who'd been tormented without mercy. A man who had to be in agonizing pain.

A vicious smile of satisfaction curved her lips as she walked right up to him. "How does it feel to be the one tortured, you bastard?" She queried cheerfully.

Both eyes were swollen completely shut, but he must have been lucid enough to recognize her voice. "Kira," his hoarse voice rasped in shock.

"Surprise," she replied in grim delight. "I survived your sick, twisted game though I can't promise you will when Jax is finished."

"Should have known… was him," he rasped and his swollen face contorted into a macabre expression of pure hatred.

"Guess what, Jaeger? You pissed him off, and now it's your turn to hurt," she taunted.

"No," he choked out angrily and yanked weakly against the chains that bound him. "Will not… let him… win."

"He's already won," she informed him smugly.

"No," he screamed hoarsely. "No. Arcane will come… for me. He will destroy… you all."

"You mean Jean-Claude?" Kira queried and decided to turn the tables and play with his mind this time. "He was killed when we rescued Char. Thanks so much for telling me about his vineyard. We couldn't have found him without your help."

Jaeger began to scream like a maniac. Blood-curdling screams of impotent fury. Then he started laughing hysterically as only someone completely insane could do in a situation like this.

"Why do you hate Jax so much?" She demanded the one question that wouldn't stop plaguing her. "Why did you want to hurt him?"

"Because he is… my brother," he confessed wearily. "Father will be… so pleased. The bastard… bested me… again."

"Don't try your mind games on me again," she warned, pissed at the ridiculous lie. "Tell me the truth, or I'll give you a reason to beg for mercy."

His face contorted into a hideous version of his shark's smile and Jaeger replied, "There is nothing… you can do… that your lover… has not done."

"You're wrong about that you sick fuck," Kira denied and walked over to the shelf to grab a big, wicked looking knife.

 

***

 

One team had scoured the wreckage looking for survivors from the air as well as on, and below, the surface of the water. The other team had combed every inch of the island and the resort. No one had survived the blast. The only clue they had to go on was the name of the boat, and it turned out to be a stolen charter.

The men converged in the war room where a pissed off Ashe demanded to know how their secure location had been compromised and by whom. No one had any answers to give, but they had a pretty good idea as to the who and why. Arcane could have done it in retaliation for them destroying his chateau.

How the hell he'd found them remained a mystery. They were still trying to come up with possibilities when an alarm on Jax's phone went off to alert him that the interrogation room had been breached. There was no way in hell that Von had gotten loose, so someone had opened the door from the outside.

Every man in the room was on their feet and headed out the door when Ashe activated his earbud and snapped, "Sin, what's your location?"

"Almost to interrogation," Brent 'Sinjin' St John's disembodied voice replied.

"The door's been breached," the team leader informed him shortly. "I need a sitrep."

"Doors closed," Sin reported just above a whisper a moment later. "Perimeters clear."

"Check the video feed," Jax suggested.

"Yeah, it's… oh, shit. Kira's in there with him," he admitted.

"Get her the fuck out," Jax demanded as he took off at a dead run.

"You sure? Cause he's actually talking to her," the other man informed them.

"Do not interfere," Ashe commanded. "That's an order."

"Yes, sir."

The closer he got, the louder the screams inside the container became until they just stopped. His heart stopped with them. Jax punched in the code and yanked the door open. Kenzi rushed past him with a hand over her mouth and Kira was walking toward him with blood dripping from her hands.

A K-bar and a severed cock lay in a pool of blood on the floor.

Sweet merciful Jesus.

Kira had castrated the bastard.

With the same knife he'd raped her with!

The woman he loved walked right past him and out the door without a word. The rest of the team stepped aside and let her go. Jax followed her out and saw Kenzi bent over with her head between her knees. "What the hell have you done?" He demanded because he knew the geekette had been responsible for overriding his security system.

"Kira needed closure," she informed him weakly as she stood upright.

"Not like this," he accused furiously.

"She needed to overcome her fear by confronting the bastard who caused it," she insisted and laid a hand on her stomach as if she were still nauseous. "Mission accomplished. I'm gonna puke."

"Come on, sweetheart. I've got ya," Hunter said as he slid an arm around her shoulders and led her away.

Jax walked back inside to where Von Osterman was bleeding out onto the floor. He knew the man would die without treatment, but he couldn't bring himself to try to save him. If he didn't, then his death would be something that Kira would have to live with, and she'd suffered enough because of this bastard.

Someone had taken the decision out of his hands and sent for Jenna. The doctor arrived and looked at the dying man without a shred of compassion. "Fuck him," she said and turned to walk away.

"Jenna…" he protested.

"I took an oath to do no harm," she informed him in her usual blunt manner. "Letting that piece of shit live after what he did to Kira would be doing irreparable harm. Let. Him. Die."

So Jax did the only thing he could do. He picked up the knife and buried it in the twisted bastard's black heart. A merciful death for a man who had not deserved mercy. But he hadn't done it to spare Von. He'd done it, so Kira didn't have one more burden to carry. He killed him to protect the woman he loved.

 

***

 

Kira went back to the suite she shared with Jax and walked straight into the bathroom. She turned the shower on and stepped under the steaming hot spray. She scrubbed her hands long after the blood had washed away. She began to tremble uncontrollably. Her knees gave way, and she sank slowly to the floor.

Some functioning part of her brain acknowledged that she was in shock, which was understandable considering she had just killed a man. No. She'd killed a monster. The animal who had tortured and tormented her to the brink of insanity. An evil bastard who deserved the grisly death that she'd given him.

Did she regret it? Hell, no.

If given the chance, she'd do it again. She had needed to destroy the monster so it could never hurt her again. The relief at knowing that Jaeger Von Osterman was no longer a threat was so great that she started laughing.

Once she started, she couldn't seem to stop.

 

***

 

Ashe had ordered him to go after Kira while the team dealt with Von's body and clean up detail. Jax hadn't needed any persuasion. Once he reached their suite, the sound of the shower running in her room told him where to find her. After a quick shower of his own, he anxiously paced the floor waiting for her to come out.

At the sound of her laughter, he rapped his knuckles against the bathroom door. When she didn't answer, he pushed it open and stepped inside. Kira was sitting in the corner of the shower fully dressed, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. He knew that pose all too well.

It was her standard go-to when she was upset.

This time was a little more complicated than that. She was clearly hysterical and appeared to be in shock. No surprise there. Kira had just confronted her attacker and chopped his cock off. She had every right to freak the fuck out. The only thing that Jax could do was offer the comfort she so obviously needed.

He took a knee outside the open shower door and asked gently, "You okay, Vixen?"

She turned her head and stared back at him from bloodshot eyes as the laughter faded away. "I'm laughing and crying, and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel," she breathed in a panic filled tone. "Tell me how I'm supposed to feel, Jax."

"Anyway you want to," he assured her. "Do you want to come out of the shower and talk about it?"

Kira stared up at the water spraying down on her as if she'd forgotten it was running. Then she noticed that she was wearing clothes, and a sob slid past her trembling lips. "Am I crazy?"

The question was so filled with anguish that it shredded him. "No, Kira," he denied solemnly. "You're just emotionally distraught right now." That patently obvious response sent her back over the edge into uncontrolled laughter again. Jax stood and turned the water off before he lifted her to her feet.

"S…Sorry," Kira said through teeth that had begun to chatter when she finally stopped laughing. "So… c…cold inside."

"Let's get you warm and dry," he suggested and removed her soaking wet clothes with quick, efficient movements. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her even more. Jax rubbed the towel over her body briskly to get her blood circulating faster. Kira was shivering from head to toe but stood patiently through his ministrations.

The multitude of times that he had dried her gorgeous body after pleasure filled showers flashed through his mind. Feeling like a fucking pervert for ogling her luscious curves at a time like this, Jax forced the memories into the back of his mind and concentrated his full attention on the current task at hand.

Once she was snugly wrapped in a bathrobe, he toweled her hair dry and led her into the bedroom. "Climb in bed, and I'll fix you some hot tea," he offered and left the room. The suites didn't have kitchenettes like the cabanas, but they did have a mini-fridge, microwave and coffee maker behind the bar.

Jax prepared a cup of tea, added a shot of whiskey and carried it back into her room. Kira was in bed with the cover pulled up to her chin. When he sat down beside her, she sat up and reached for the cup with both hands. They were still trembling, but she managed to drink the entire cup without spilling it.

"Feel better?" He asked hopefully when she handed him the empty cup.

"Yes, thank you," Kira admitted, and he was pleased to see that some of the color had returned to her cheeks. "Will you hold me for a little while, Jax? The only time I feel safe is when I'm with you."

He'd hold her forever.

Choked with emotion that she could still trust him, he toed off his boots and slid into the bed beside her. "I'll keep you safe, Vixen," Jax swore and placed a tender kiss atop her head. And he would. If he had to set the whole fucking world on fire to do it.

Kira curled against his side just like she used to do and laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her back and held her protectively against him. Where it lay against his chest, her hand fisted the material of his t-shirt. He reveled in the feel of having his woman in his arms again.

If only she were still his, he'd be the happiest man alive. But he wasn't worthy of a woman like Kira. Not after he'd walked away and left her to fend for herself. These precious moments were all that he could ever have of her.

Greedy bastard that he was, he'd take them.

 

***

 

Kira bolted upright in bed, a scream of sheer terror lodged in her throat. Her wild-eyed gaze took in the unfamiliar surroundings as panic set in. A hand touched her back, and a scream tore from her chest as she flung herself off the side of the bed. Dazed, confused and disoriented, she made a mad dash for the open door.

Once in the connecting room, her panicked gaze sought an exit before blinding light surrounded her. Terror filled eyes landed on the man staring back at her in concern. "J… Jax?" She breathed brokenly, afraid to believe her eyes. "Is it… is it really you?"

"It's me, Vixen," he said in that soothing voice she knew so well. "It's just me."

She rushed toward him, locked her arms around his waist and held on for dear life. His arms wrapped her trembling body in a protective hold. Christ Almighty. She was safe. Safe. With Jax. The images so fresh in her mind from the nightmare were over. No one was going to hurt her. Jaxon would protect her.

But she could still feel the monster's hands on her body. Hear the sound of his high-pitched giggles. See the look of absolute madness in his eyes. The nightmare had been real, and she was beginning to think that she'd never escape from it. Just thinking about it was enough to send her into a full-blown panic attack.

Something had to make it stop.

Or someone.

Sea green eyes filled with pain and torment looked up and met obsidian eyes that revealed nothing. "Touch me," Kira pleaded without conscious thought. "Please touch me." The bands of flesh covered steel around her unfurled and his hands began to briskly rub her back and arms as if he were trying to warm her.

That was not what she wanted.

What she needed.

She lifted one of his hands and placed it over her breast. "Touch me, Jaxon," she pleaded in a tone that shook as much as the rest of her.

He swallowed hard, and the hand covering her breast did not move. "Kira, I…"

"I need to feel hands that don't hurt," she confessed miserably. "I'm not asking you to make love to me, Jax. I… I know you don't want me anymore."

"Don't want you?" He repeated in a harsh breath. Those blacker than night eyes were burning with emotion now. "Vixen, I want you so fucking much I'm afraid to touch you."

Her heart hammering wildly in anticipation, Kira took a step back and untied the belt of the robe she wore. She shrugged it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Standing before him naked in body and soul, she said softly, "Show me. Make me remember what it's like to feel pleasure instead of pain."

***

If ever a man had been torn, Jaxon Caulder was.

His body cried out for hers. His heart leapt with joy. His soul wept with relief. His conscience screamed that he needed to tell her that he'd been there that night. That he'd walked away and left her to the mercy of a sadist. Then he realized that confessing wouldn't absolve his guilt. Nothing could.

The knowledge would only hurt her more and add to the shame she already felt. And that he could not allow to happen. Which meant that she had made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Because this was about what she wanted and needed. If his Vixen thought she needed him, she was for damn sure going to get him.

He'd give her anything she wanted.

Everything she needed.

Jax closed the space between them and his lips covered hers. The kiss was gentle, sweet and filled with the promise of things to come. Her hands slid up his arms and clung to his shoulders. Kira rose up on tiptoe, aligning her body with his. Electricity fired and crackled through his system, igniting his soul.

Jump-starting his broken heart.

Jax never broke the kiss as he walked her backward into his room. He sank to his knees before her and wrapped his hands around her tiny little waist. After worshiping at the altar of her breasts, he covered her in reverent kisses from neck to knees. His hands gently caressed her beautiful body, cataloging the myriad changes.

Paying homage to the scars that marred her flesh.

His beautiful Vixen began to tremble, her hands fisted in his hair. Nails scored his scalp. Still on his knees, he inched forward, guiding her backward until her legs hit the bed. A gentle nudge had her sitting on the edge. He lifted her foot from the floor, slowly making his way up to her thigh with kisses, licks, and nibbles.

One leg, then the other. Jax repeated the painstaking process with both of her arms. Rolling her over, he repeated the actions on her backside. Every inch. He had to touch every inch of her that had known pain. To replace the memory of terror and violence with love and pleasure. To make her remember what he'd never been able to forget.

The absolute perfection of their union.

Kira was shaking with need, her hands clenched in the linens. Nails raking across the mattress. She begged. Pleaded. Demanded. Ending his pleasurable journey over silken flesh, Jax rolled her back over. He was mesmerized by the bounty on display before him. Kira was still the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.

Sea green eyes were dark with hunger. Porcelain skin flushed with desire. The wanton beauty who held his heart gave him a come-hither smile. Her voice a seductive purr when she said, "I want you, Jaxon."

Her absolute trust slayed him. She had been tortured and brutalized by a sadist, her body broken and battered. Yet she still trusted him to touch her. Him, the man ultimately responsible for her pain and suffering. Humbled beyond words, Jax brought her to a shattering climax with his hands and mouth.

His name spilled from her lips like a breathless mantra. Her cries of ecstasy the sweetest balm to his tormented soul. They drowned out her terror-filled screams from the video that were still trapped inside his mind. He redoubled his efforts with single-minded determination and gave her climax after climax until she begged for mercy.

Until she pleaded for his total possession.

His body slick with sweat, trembling with unquenchable need, he lifted himself onto the bed and rolled her on top of him. Obsidian eyes smoldering with love so fierce it threatened to burn him alive, he commanded hoarsely, "Take what you need, Vixen."

She lifted her hand and raked the mane of flaming tresses over her shoulder. Her beautiful sea green eyes locked with his, Kira rose over him like a pagan goddess. He clenched his jaw and fisted his hands as she slowly lowered herself onto his cock. Inch by sensual inch until she was fully seated.

His vision blurred with unshed tears of joy. The pleasure was so intense that his heart stuttered. The breath froze in his lungs. Being one with her again was a fucking miracle. A dream come true. His hands grasped hers, held them palm to palm. The words, I love you, poised on the tip of his tongue.

And then she moved.

His cock damn near erupted. The breath left his lungs with a whoosh. His eyes crossed. His heart began to hammer double time. Jax gritted his teeth and fought for control, but there was no control to be found. Not when his Vixen was riding him like her life depended on it. Which was exactly how he felt.

He thrust his hips up, and a keening wail slid from her lips. He grasped her hips, held tight and thrust for all he was worth. Kira screamed his name as her body began to convulse around him. Jax shouted her name in a guttural tone as her climax triggered his. He impaled himself deep while they rode out their mutual orgasm.

She collapsed atop him, and they lay together in a boneless heap, consumed by pleasure. Too satiated and content to move. In that moment, all was right with his world. Jax was riding an emotional high. Nothing and no one could bring him down. But all too soon, reality reared its ugly head, and the spell was broken.

"Is he dead?" Kira asked hopefully.

"Yes," he confirmed and tightened his arms around her.

She gulped in a ragged breath and admitted, "I'm not sorry I killed him, Jax. He needed to die."

"He did," he agreed. "But you didn't kill him."

Kira lifted her head from his chest and bewildered sea green eyes met his. "But you said…"

"I said he was dead," he clarified. "But you didn't do it, Vixen. I did." Her eyes grew huge in realization. Fan-fucking-tastic. Now the woman he loved knew he was a stone cold killer. Like he could sink any lower in her estimation.

"Why?" She asked in confusion.

"Because I didn't want you to have that burden on your soul," he confessed. "You've suffered enough because of me. Killing Von Osterman is a weight that I gladly bear."

***

Kira stared at him in open mouth shock. "Jax, it wasn't your fault," she readily denied. "Jaeger was a monster. You're not to blame for anything he did."

"He targeted you to hurt me, so ultimately I'm responsible," he pointed out.

"You can't hold yourself accountable for the actions of a madman," she insisted as she sat up astride him. "Yes, he used you as an excuse to hurt me, but he's the one who did it. He's the only one to blame."

"My actions made his attack on you possible," he admitted heavily and raked both hands through his hair. "When we found out that the Illuminati were targeting our women, I deliberately pushed you away to keep you safe. But that left you completely unprotected. If I'd kept you with me, none of this would have happened."

"Maybe not to me," she conceded. "But Jaeger wanted to hurt you, Jax, and he was willing to use anyone to accomplish that. Slade was his next target."

"The fuck he was," he barked furiously and sat up as well.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and bared her heart to him. "If a choice had to be made between the two of us, I'm glad it was me instead of Slade," she admitted and saw his look of astonishment.

"How the hell can you say that?" He demanded in disbelief.

"Your son means everything to you, and I'd gladly give my life to keep him safe," Kira confessed.

"Why?" The word slid past his lips in a gravel roughened rasp of sound.

"Because I love you," she admitted with her heart in her throat.

***

She broke him.

Just fucking broke him.

It was nothing short of a miracle that she could still love him. Jax crushed her against his chest in a fierce embrace. He buried his face between her neck and shoulder as harsh rasps of air wheezed in and out of his lungs. "I love you," he breathed brokenly. "Love you so fucking much."

She began to shake about the same time that something warm and wet rolled down his chest. Concerned, Jax pulled back and looked down at her tear streaked face. "Are you all right, Kira?" He demanded anxiously as he ran his hands gently up and down her arms. "Did I hurt you?"

"Only when you made me think you didn't love me," she confessed, and it felt like a dagger plunged into his heart. "Say it again, Jaxon. Please say it again."

Hands that held a noticeable tremble lifted and cupped her face. Eyes filled with love held hers with an intensity that she couldn't look away from. "I love you, Kira Walker," he vowed solemnly. "I have loved you since the day we met. I will love you until the day I die. Nothing will ever change that."

A sob burst from her chest yet she was smiling through the tears that fell. "I love you so much it hurts," she admitted and burrowed back into his arms. "Please don't ever push me away again, Jax. I don't think I could survive losing you a second time."

Kira was the strongest woman he knew. A week of brutal torture hadn't broken her, but she believed that losing him would. Jax knew he didn't deserve her, but he sure as hell wasn't ever giving her up. "Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life," he admitted. "I swear it'll never happen again."

***

"Good," she said and smiled up at him. "Because you're stuck with me this time."

"Then let's make it official," he decided and swung his legs off the side of the bed, one arm wrapped securely around her.

Kira locked her arms and legs around him, loathe to let go. Jax rooted around in the nightstand drawer before he stood and carried her out onto the balcony. She laughed in amusement at his antics and asked, "What are you doing?"

"What I had planned to do the night I fucked up and sent you away," he confessed as he released her so she could stand. Dropping down on one knee, he held a small box up in offering and asked, "Will you marry me and let me love you for all of our tomorrows?"

Kira stared at the diamond ring glinting brightly in the moonlight in astonishment. Her tear-filled eyes met his, and she asked hoarsely, "You were going to propose that night?"

"On the beach in the moonlight," he admitted.

"Oh, Jaxon," she said tearfully because he had planned such a wonderfully romantic proposal. "My answer is the same as it would have been then. Yes, I want to marry you."

The full dimpled grin on his face, Jax slid the ring on her finger and pressed a kiss to it. Then he rose and kissed her with so much love that she felt it down to her toes. "I love you, Vixen. We're going to live our own happily ever after."

The smile she bestowed upon him was radiant with happiness. "Who needs romance novels when I have you?"