Needs

In my bed, Prudence cuddled against me. “You’re quite good at that,” she said dreamily.

“You’re awfully accomplished yourself,” I said. “Oh, I feel good.”

“Do you mind if I stay?” she asked.

“On the contrary. I’d like it if you did.”

We lay quietly for a few minutes, me on my back, Prudence pressed against my side with her head on my shoulder. When finally she spoke, it was in a whisper. “I haven’t done that for a very long time. In fact, discounting an evening early this fall, I haven’t even kissed anyone like that in a decade and a half.”

“I’m touched,” I said. “Only an evening.”

“A very pleasant evening, but she was for someone else.” She paused. “You are as well.”

“Oh?”

“But you future is muddled. Hers was not. She needed the kisses, and then someone else needed to be brave. But if I’d taken more than kisses, she wouldn’t have been ready to accept the love that was offered.”

“You see so much?”

“Sometimes. I saw them together. They did not know their future was together, but it was clear to me, if only the other would make the right move.”

“And she did?”

“She did,” Prudence said. “Their love lights a room.”

“That’s beautiful,” I said. “And who am I for?”

“I don’t know. She is a shadow.”

“She?”

“You thought it would be a man?”

“Well, not necessarily. So she.”

“Right. But the final one is not next. That is why you are muddled. Someone else is going to need you first.”

“And it’s not you?”

She laughed. “I needed you another way.” She snuggled closer. “And we’re not quite done.”

“Good,” I said.

“You seem very accepting of all this. Most people think I’m a crackpot.”

“New Orleans. Voodoo queens. I never make fun of someone who speaks in riddles.”

Prudence laughed. “Very wise. I have no power, but many others do, and they do not always take well to derision. In my younger years, even I wished I could prove my detractors wrong. It wasn’t until I was older that it wasn’t my choice whether they took my words to heart; that was their choice.”

“Do you have words for me?”

She paused. “Serious words.”

“Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.” Then she rolled on top of me. “I’m not tired. Are you?”

“Not quite yet,” I said with a smile, reaching for her.

* * * *

When finally I slept, I slept hard but woke early, Prudence facing away from me, my arms around her. Discounting Carissa, I didn’t think I’d ever shared a bed with someone her age, but somehow that had been fine. More than fine. I really liked her, as perplexing as she could be. And so I moved closer then shifted my hand and began to rub her bottom.

“That feels very nice,” she whispered. “You may do that for a few minutes, but then there is someone else who needs you.”

“Are we done?”

“No. I will sleep a little longer, and you will bring breakfast to me and feed me.”

I chuckled. “So it shall be.”

And so I rubbed for a while, but I knew when she fell back asleep. I rubbed a little longer then stilled, just holding her. Finally I carefully extracted myself.

The shower felt good, and I couldn’t help but think of Carissa’s story. She told it in a disjoint fashion, but somehow, at least to me, that made it all the more powerful, someone remembering something from long ago and not a rehearsed speech. But she had clearly known where she was going. And so I enjoyed the shower and was glad I was born in this time and not one before running water.

I dressed and then wandered into the common area of the house. I heard small noises from the rest of the house, and there were a few people up. But the moment I saw her, I knew who Prudence had sent me to help.

Monique was pacing and wringing her hands, and the moment she saw me, she hurried to me. “Anna.”

“We should go for a walk,” I said.

“Yes,” she said, the word filled with relief. “I’ll get our coats.”

A minute later we stepped outside. It was cold, but Monique didn’t seem to notice. I let her guide us, not saying anything. It was a minute before I knew where she was bringing me, and ten minutes when we arrived at their overlook.

There wasn’t a bench, but there was a natural seat formed by some of the rocks, and Monique stepped over and sat down. I paused then sat down beside her.

“I did anything she told me to do,” Monique said.

“I know. But she was kind, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah. I tried to fight it. I let Carissa capture my eyes, but after that, I tried to fight it. I’ve never felt so helpless.”

“That part can be uncomfortable,” I said. “Do you wish you hadn’t stood up and asked?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She sat staring at her hands for a moment then looked over to me. “Has she ever done that to you before?”

“A few times.”

“Why?”

“I asked her to.”

“I practically dared her to.”

“You did,” I said. “Why?”

She lowered her eyes again. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do,” I said.

“Iris and Lindsey look pretty happy.”

“Carissa never accepts direct donations from anyone under 18 and forbids any of her other vampires to do so, either.”

“I don’t know if I wanted her to bite me,” Monique replied.

“She’s a fascinating woman, isn’t she?”

“She’s a vampire.”

“Lara and Michaela trust her. She’s a fascinating woman, isn’t she?” I didn’t think I should let Monique avoid my question.

“Yes.” She paused. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Because Ember made you kiss her foot?”

“No, because I practically threw myself at Carissa.”

“Ah.”

“And it’s not just the age difference,” Monique added. At that I laughed, but I thought she was whistling in the dark. “God. I thought I outgrew this.”

“This, what?”

“I keep embarrassing myself.”

“How?”

“I used to have a crush on Michaela.”

I laughed again. “Oh, Monique, everyone has a crush on Michaela.”

“You don’t.”

“Of course I do. Everyone does.”

“I don’t see them making fools of themselves.”

“I haven’t seen you make a fool of yourself.”

“I did with Carissa.”

“I disagree,” I said. “But I meant with Michaela.”

“Well, I sort of got over it. But then there was Zoe.”

“Ah ha. I am detecting a trend.”

“I was so stupid,” she said. “But Zoe was nice to me, and I wasn’t used to people being nice to me.”

“It’s very easy to be nice to you, Monique. You’re pretty damned amazing.”

She paused. “I’m like a loyal dog,” she said quietly.

I reached over and pulled her chin towards me. “No,” I said firmly. “You are not. Yes, you are loyal. I can see that. Everyone can see that. But you are also exceedingly brave. And I bet you work hard, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You fight hard to make your pack stronger. And did you hear what Elisabeth said on Wednesday?”

She shook her head.

“Monique, don’t let this go to your head, but she said you could be the next head enforcer.”

“I couldn’t!”

“Not yet you couldn’t, and I think she’s grooming Angel. But they give you responsibilities they don’t give everyone else, don’t they? Where are the other enforcer students?”

“They didn’t come.”

“And they assigned you to watch over me.”

“So they wouldn’t have to waste a real enforcer.”

“They trust your judgment, Monique. You don’t trust someone’s judgment if you think she’s stupid. Stupid people make stupid mistakes. Now, you’re young, and you have a confidence problem, but you aren’t stupid.”

“I wasn’t smart enough to get into Michaela’s science program.”

“So you aren’t science smart. Neither am I. I suck at science.”

“You went to Harvard! Like Lara and Elisabeth, and after Michaela, they’re the two smartest people I know.”

“I went to Harvard to study business, Monique. Not science.” I made a face. “So you’re like me. Science isn’t your thing. But you’re good at other things, aren’t you.”

I released her chin, and after a moment she said, “I guess.”

“Let me ask you something. Last night. Lara could have interfered. If you were being a fool, do you think she’d have sat back and let you? Does that sound like her? Or would she have protected you?”

Her eyes grew wide. “Lara doesn’t think I was foolish?”

“I haven’t talked to her. I think you were brave. I think people see vampires in movies and are fascinated by them. And then they meet Carissa. She’s petite -- like Michaela. But she’s beautiful and alluring and mysterious, and you can’t help but be drawn to her, if you give her a chance. I don’t know about the other enforcers, but I bet half the other people in the room wonder what it’s like to be bitten, and the other half wonder what it was like to be compelled, like she did to you. But I didn’t see them stand up and ask.”

“Iris and Lindsey offered themselves. That was a lot harder than what I did.”

“I bet if you were 18, Lara and Michaela would have talked to you about it before they talked to them. What would you have done?”

“She wouldn’t want me. They’re beautiful.”

“This again?” I asked. “Ember sure seems to think you’re beautiful, and I think Cassie does, too. I think you’re beautiful, and sweet besides.”

“You do?”

“You’re hung up on the cover of Cosmopolitan, Monique,” I said. “Fuck that. You’re beautiful. You’re strong, like a wolf should be. And you know what else you are?”

“What?”

“You’re wise, like your Aunt Prudence.”

“I’m not like her.” She paused. “She’s not really my aunt. She’s my great-something aunt.”

“Your what?”

Monique laughed. “Did you ask her how old she is?”

“No.”

“She doesn’t give Carissa a run for her money, but you should ask her. She might answer.”

I laughed. “Do you think I made a fool of myself?”

“Of course not, but some people might. Everyone thinks Aunt Prudence is a fruitcake.”

“She’s not though, is she?”

“It depends on who you ask,” Monique said with a grin. “You have to decide for yourself.”

“That right there is what I mean,” I told her. “Someone else your age would just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Instead, you challenge me to think for myself. Good for you.”

She straightened and then turned to look out at the lake, several miles away. “Am I going to obey Ember today?”

“It seems like that is your choice, unless you decide to challenge Carissa again.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You might have your reasons. You know if you do, it will be more intense than the first time.”

In response, she shook her head. We were quiet for a minute, then I asked, “Did Ember enjoy it?”

“I think she was nervous. She liked the foot massage, though.”

“I bet it’s not the first you’ve given her.”

“It’s not,” she said. “I’m dominant.” She looked back. “Do you know what that means?”

“Cats don’t have the same emotions,” I replied. “I understand intellectually.”

“It’s my duty to take care of her. And Cassie, too.”

“So foot massages.”

“Yeah. They give them to me, too, but it’s different than when I do it.” She paused. “It was weird. It upset the entire dominance structure.”

“Lara is dominant over the head enforcer. She’s dominant over the other enforcers. They’re dominant over you. You’re dominant over the other teenagers. And on top of everyone, there’s Michaela.”

Monique laughed. “Yeah. Something like that. Ember might ask me to do something, but she’d never tell me.” She turned to look at me. “I shouldn’t be embarrassed?”

“No. Your curiosity isn’t fully resolved either, is it?”

“No. Well, maybe about that, but not about everything. But the more I learn, the more questions I have.”

“That’s the nature of life,” I said.

“I know you can’t tell me, but something bad happened to Michaela. We thought we had the answers, but now it’s even more confusing. I know I’m not supposed to ask, but now...”

“I think perhaps you should have a frank talk with the head enforcer, Monique.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I think you should at least ask for one and let her decide. Part of her job is to help train you. Elisabeth doesn’t seem like the sort to slap someone down for asking questions, as long as you are polite and discreet.”

She rotated in her seat. “How old is Carissa? How did she become a vampire? Has she ever killed anyone?” She paused. “I interrupted her explanation, too. She was telling us that she doesn’t hide, but she has to hide. Humans don’t know about us, and they don’t know about vampires. She must hide. Right?”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, isn’t it?” I said. “You want to know what it’s like to be Joanna or Anika. Or me, for that matter. You want to talk to Iris and Lindsey.”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“There’s another question you should ask, and only you can answer. Why do you want to know these things?”

“I don’t know. Morbid curiosity?”

“That’s one choice. Or maybe because you want to understand the world around you. Maybe you think Carissa is going to be important to the pack. You understand how wolves think. I bet you understand how humans think. Maybe you even understand how Michaela thinks.”

“No one understands how she thinks,” Monique said with a grin.

“Perhaps not. But you don’t understand how Carissa thinks, and you don’t fully understand why Anika and Joanna are her willing thralls.”

“That’s like what she did to me last night.”

“It’s far, far more than that,” I said.

“I tried to fight it,” she said. “But I can see how a human might like it.”

“Not just humans. Carissa keeps the most dominant wolves in the New Orleans pack as her thralls. It’s how she manages the rest of the pack. Otherwise she’d have to control them all herself, and that’s far too much work.”

She grew quiet. I waited to see if she had more to say. Instead she put on a distant expression. I waited for a while then asked, “Feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Monique, why did you want to speak to me instead of another wolf?”

“Because I thought you would understand, and I didn’t think anyone else would. I thought about asking Michaela, but something told me I shouldn’t.”

“When you have your conversation with Elisabeth you should mention that,” I said, not wanting to give too much away. It wasn’t my place. “I also think you should ask Carissa if she’ll talk to you some more, after you’ve talked to Elisabeth.”

“Will she... make me do things again?”

“I don’t know. She might, especially if you challenge her again. But if you approach her respectfully and ask her if she’ll talk to you, that’s different, isn’t it? She may not give you much time, or she may give you a great deal.”

“I shouldn’t ask.”

“Of course you should, as long as you don’t come with expectations. She might only give you a minute or two, but it’s her decision how much time to give you. But you should also understand that she might invite the other teenagers to the conversation, because she knows they’re curious, too. And then she might feel free to put you on the spot. But she won’t hurt you, Monique. And she won’t do anything to hurt Michaela or this pack.”

She looked up into my eyes. “That’s so frustrating. I keep hearing little hints, but never the entire story.”

I smiled. “And that is part of your conversation with Elisabeth, not me. Right?”

“Right.”

“I want to ask you about something entirely unrelated. Roller coaster rides.” At that, she smiled broadly. “I get the impression you girls love offering them.”

“Did you want one?”

I laughed. “No. I can run just fine on my own. Am I right?”

“Yeah. Well, Scarlett’s dad isn’t much fun. He’s kind of a fuddy-duddy.”

“Nick?”

“Yeah. But Zoe’s a lot of fun, and she lets us do anything we want to her. It’s pretty wild.”

“So I gathered when I heard the phrase ‘throw her off a cliff’.”

“God, we worked on that for hours,” Monique said.

“Joanna and Anika seemed to enjoy it. Does Eric ever offer?”

“No. It’s something us kids do. Oh, and Portia, but only for Zoe.”

“All right. Then I hope you’ll make more offers to Anika and Joanna.”

“Count on it,” she said. “Did you want to help?”

“Maybe, but I’m not going to be the one catching people off cliffs, and don’t you dare do that to one of Carissa’s humans!”

“We wouldn’t! Elisabeth would have us for breakfast if we did.”

“If Carissa didn’t beat her to it,” I clarified. “And if she does it, we’re talking literally.”

Monique snorted. “I suppose we are.”

* * * *

It was later that I saw Monique approach Elisabeth. They talked briefly, and then Elisabeth nodded and put her arm around Monique’s shoulders, leading her away. I was sure they’d have a good conversation.

And it was later still that I saw Monique approach Carissa. Monique’s body language was less challenging than last night’s, and she seemed quite polite. Carissa nodded and then confirmed my prediction. She gathered all the teenagers together, and they sat in a circle on the floor.

That was when Prudence stepped to my side. “There’s nothing special planned this afternoon,” she said. “And I have to give you up for dinner.”

“Oh?”

“The alphas want an intimate gathering,” she said. “It is so easy for these things to get out of hand. If you invite this person, then you must invite that one, and soon the entire pack is there.”

“I suppose so.” I smiled at her. “How would you like to spend the time?”

“Would you run with me? Just with me? I’ll keep you out of trouble.”

“I’d like that, Prudence. But aren’t we afraid someone will see me? A wolf can be explained. A black jaguar the size of a tiger might be a little unexpected.”

“You’ll have to trust me,” she said. “No one will see us. Meet me outside?”

And so I nodded.

* * * *

As a wolf, Prudence was black with streaks of white, and relatively small, as adult female werewolves go. We met on the steps with a wolfy greeting, and then she turned her nose to the woods.

I let her lead. At first, we went the places I’d already been, but then she took a side trail heading north. Trusting her, I followed.

We cavorted, a little, but she seemed to have a destination in mind, and I didn’t think she played like the younger wolves might. Instead, she seemed to be on a mission, but one I didn’t understand. I wondered if there was something in particular she wanted to show me.

I didn’t know where we were going, but I had a pretty good idea how far we’d gone from our start, and when we hit two miles, I began to grow nervous. A half mile later, I bounded past her and turned crosswise to our path, blocking her. She slowed then walked up to me, offering a wolfy smile. She offered a quick lick then actually ducked underneath me to continue on our path.

So I bounded ahead and blocked her again, but this time I lay down in the path. So she jumped over me and kept going. I stared after her. She kept going, but she looked over her shoulder and offered one quick yip, then continued along.

I bounded after her.

We crossed a highway, which really, really made me nervous. And then we reached what were clearly the outskirts of Bayfield, and that was when she began to act in a stealthy fashion.

She wasn’t very good at it, but I was. And the first part of being stealthy was avoiding places you couldn’t afford to get caught.

I balked and refused to follow her further. Instead, I turned around and began to trace our return path. Immediately Prudence ran past me, full speed for a wolf, and blocked the path, then turned to face me and growled.

I sat down and stared at her. Seriously?

Her growl faded and she stepped up to me and licked me, then nudged me back in the direction we’d been going, deeper into Bayfield. I offered my own growl, but she licked me again, nudged, nudged again, and then took ten steps past me.

She was insane. She had to be, the nut case the others proclaimed. I turned and looked at her. In response, she sat and waited.

I stared at her for a while.

Oh hell, but if I got caught, Carissa would have it in for me. I stood and followed after Prudence. I got another lick, and then she led us deeper into the town.

She was careful, but not that careful. It was broad daylight, and maybe she could pass for a large dog, but I couldn’t. From far enough away, I looked like a black jaguar. From closer, anyone who knew jaguars would know I was far, far too large. Jaguars don’t come the size of a tiger. And no one would mistake me for a black tiger.

But she was careful, and we remained under cover and somehow avoided the houses. And then she led me under some heavy bushes and crept underneath them. I joined her, and I found myself looking at the back of a house.

Prudence nosed her way out, but then she turned to me. She backed away, but when I began to follow, she growled.

She only had to do it once for me to understand. Stay where I was. She backed further, then, sure I’d obey, she turned around and padded to the back door, sure as you please.

And then she opened the door, stepped inside for a moment, then turned around and held the door open.

She yipped.

And held the door open for me.

I was just a black blurry dash from my cover to inside the house, coming to a screeching, sliding stop on a tile floor. I hoped my claws didn’t leave too many marks.

I could smell wolf, and not just Prudence.

I turned around, and Prudence had allowed the outer door to close and was just closing the inner door. She turned to me and offered a wolfy smile. Then she walked to me, casual as can be, gave me a quick lick, then sauntered past me.

I turned to follow.

She led me upstairs. It was a small house, but cute, and the scent of wolf was strong. She led me to a bedroom, jumped up on the bed, got comfortable.

And began to shift.

Seriously?

I eyed the bed. I tended to be very private when I shift, rarely doing it around anyone else. I didn’t like being vulnerable. And the bed looked a little too small for a four hundred pound jaguar. So I curled up on the floor and began my own shift.

I wasn’t necessarily a slow shifter, but Prudence had a head start, and she wasn’t slow, either. She finished before I did, and I was only vaguely aware as she stretched on the bed. I was vaguely aware when she complained, “You could have come up here.”

But until I was done, it wasn’t like I could join her.

I felt her eyes on me. I didn’t care for that, but she only lay on the bed, watching me, until finally I was done. I lay there for a moment, panting, and then rolled over to look up at her.

“You’re insane. You know that?”

She laughed. “I told you no one would see us. Don’t you trust me?”

I didn’t have an answer for that. “What is this place? Yours? It doesn’t smell like you.”

“It belongs to the enforcers. It used to be Michaela’s. Don’t tell her we came here. She’s still sensitive about it. Now, get up here. There are things we need to do.”

And so, we did them.

* * * *

“I suppose we should shift and head back.”

“We could, but I think I’d rather shower, get dressed, and use my car.”

I laughed. “You planned ahead.”

“I certainly did.  You don’t think I’d invade the enforcers’ house without permission, do you?”

It would have been nice to shower together, but it just wasn’t large enough. I invited her to go first. I sat on the bathroom floor and watched her. That wasn’t bad, either. She was efficient, and then she opened the glass door and looked out at me. She smiled.

“You make me feel young,” she said. “Hurry up and shower. I want to talk to you.”

She didn’t watch me. Instead, she saw to the rest of her needs, and I found her waiting downstairs for me, sitting in a chair with a pot of tea nearby. As I descended the stairs, she poured another cup and set it out for me. I crossed the room and bent to kiss her. She allowed a brief kiss but then pointed to the opposite chair.

Puzzled, I sat, but when she offered her hands, we clasped, leaning towards each other.

“Anna, everything you have done in the past has led you to this point in your life. And as such, they were the right choices at the time.”

I stared and then admitted, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You have had lovers, but you have had few relationships.” I didn’t answer that. “You think that defines you. It doesn’t. The choices in your life don’t define who you are. They were the right choices at the time. Do you see?”

“I suppose, but-“

“But in the future, you will make more choices. The temptation is to believe our past choices dictate our future choices. But that’s not at all true. Making different choices in the future doesn’t mean your past choices were wrong. Making a different choice in the future isn’t wrong, either, simply because you haven’t done it that way before. You guide your life from day to day. Do you see?”

“You’re telling me more than you’re telling me.”

She laughed. “Perhaps I am. But are you listening?”

“I’m trying to.”

“Everything I’ve said to you also applies to the people in your future. Their past decisions have brought them here, but they do not define future choices. And so many choices we make seem irreversible, but they rarely are.” She grinned. “I sound like a fortune cookie, don’t I?”

“A little, but there’s a reason you’re telling me this.”

“I want you to be open to possibility, that is all.”

“Possibility.”

“That’s right. I want a promise. You’re going to face future choices, and from time to time, what I’ve just told you is going to come to mind. Promise me that you’ll at least consider what I’ve said.”

“I promise, Prudence.”

She smiled. “Good. Now it’s time to go. Stand up and give me one last kiss.”

* * * *

I stopped and stared. “What the hell is that?”

“Hey! That’s my car. Don’t trash talk my car, or you can walk back. And I bet you don’t even know where we’re going.”

“I’m not sure I fit.”

“Don’t be a baby,” she said. But she eyed me critically. “You might have to slump a little.”

“I might have to slump a little?” I asked. “Does this thing even have an engine?”

“Of course it has an engine! It has a very reliable engine, I’ll point out.”

“I bet you’ve got a team of gerbils under that hood,” I said, pointing. “There’s no engine in there at all.”

“Fine. You’re right. There’s no engine. Have a look.”

I cocked my head then moved to the front of the matchbox she drove, bent over, figured out the hood, and opened it.

“I knew it! There’s no engine.” And there wasn’t, either. “Do I have to pedal like Fred Flintstone?”

“Yes. Get in.”

“Prudence, where’s the engine?”

“Get in,” she said. “You’ll fit.” She paused. “You might have to hang your head out.”

“I’m not hanging my head out the window.”

“Suit yourself, but if you make one more snide comment, you’re walking.”

We stared at each other for a minute, then I walked to the passenger side. It was like opening a tin can, and I wondered how many crates of Bond-o were used to hold the thing together.

Getting in was what might euphemistically be termed “a challenge”. I had to stuff myself in. Prudence smirked at me, but she wasn’t that much smaller than I was. But somehow she folded right in and looked comfortable besides.

“This is the first car I bought new,” she said, settling in. She slipped the key into the ignition, and after a moment, the worst rattling imagined came forth. From the back of the car.

I would have turned my head to look but I was too crammed in to move.

“I told you it has an engine. It’s not my fault if you didn’t know where to look,” she said.

I didn’t say a word. Honestly, I didn’t. I didn’t want to walk.

Remember what I said about how Carissa demands her humans drive? Well, Prudence wasn’t one of Carissa’s humans. She drove like a maniac. I wouldn’t have minded, except every time she jerked the car around, I bumped this way or that way, and if we had an accident, I wasn’t sure I could get out.

I supposed I could always just flex my muscles a little and pop out, like a muscle trainer ripping a tee shirt.

The ten-minute drive took about five minutes. But then, at the entrance to pack property, Prudence brought the car to a stop. “Anna?”

“Prudence?”

“What we did today?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t try that without me.”

“Afraid I’d get lost?”

“You’d be spotted if I weren’t there.”

“You do have power.”

“People see what I want them to see,” she said. “Well, that doesn’t work if they were really looking for us, but the humans weren’t going to notice us as long as we were careful.”

“I understand,” I said. “Thank you for not letting me be caught and put in some zoo. Prudence?”

“Anna?”

“When you said ‘one last kiss’ earlier, you didn’t mean one last kiss before coming back. You meant ‘one last kiss’.”

“I’m afraid so. But it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was.”

* * * *

I was a little lonely that night, which seemed strange, to feel lonely. But in spite of my emotions, I slept long and well.

Sunday greeted us, bright but cold. It was the first time we’d seen the sun since descending through the clouds on the way here. I thought it was an auspicious day of departure.

Carissa had set ten as the time she wished to leave for the airport. It was only a few minutes short of ten before she emerged from her room, alone. I was engaged in a quiet conversation with Michaela, Lara, and some of the other adults. We all turned to Carissa as she stepped up to our little circle.

“Good morning. Your wolves?”

“Your wolves, Alpha,” Carissa said. “I left them sleeping.” She paused. “Lara.”

“Walk with me?” Lara offered, rising to her feet. All of us watched as she led the way from the house, neither of them grabbing coats. They were outside only a minute or two, but I saw as Carissa reached up to caress Lara’s cheek.

Well, well.

“She’s going to want to leave right away,” I said. “Michaela, she won’t want a big production, but she’ll want a few minutes with you. I’ll see to our things.”

I rounded up Anika and Joanna, who were offering their own goodbyes, and then together we brought things out to one of the cars, Elisabeth guiding us. Then we waited by the car, Anika and Joanna leaning together, talking quietly. Elisabeth moved to me. “I hope you come again.”

“I do, too,” I said.

She pulled me a little further away. “Thank you for talking to Monique.”

“Did you answer her questions?”

“Most of them. I didn’t want to burden her with secrets. The others can be pests if they figure out she knows something they don’t.”

I nodded. “I like your pack, Elisabeth. You have built a good home here.”

“Thank you. It’s difficult at times, but we like it.”

Twenty minutes later, we were at the airport.

* * * *

Carissa seemed withdrawn for the first part of the flight. The three of us gave her space, but then she looked to us. “I’d like to talk.”

We took the seats she indicated. “Joanna, are you all right?”

“Yes. If he were one of your wolves, I could lose my heart. But we both know that isn’t to be.”

She nodded then stared out the window. But a moment later she reached over and took my hand. I leaned closer and set a hand on her shoulder. I’d never seen her need comforting before.

“They are so sweet,” she said, casually. “Like humans. Not at all like wolves. But with all the strength and stamina.” And I realized she was talking about Iris and Lindsey. “I can’t tell you how much I wanted to keep them, almost as much as I wanted to keep Michaela.”

She stared out the window a while. And then Anika and Joanna moved closer, kneeling on the aircraft floor and laying their heads in Carissa’s lap.

After a moment she released my hand and caressed each of them, casually. Gently. “You two are so lovely,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“How can we help, Carissa?” Anika asked.

The vampire didn’t answer. Instead she turned to look down at the two of them, gazing at them for a while. Then, slowly, she turned her eyes towards me. “Anna, do you have duties that can’t wait a week or two?”

“No, Carissa. Not a single one.”

She looked back at the two humans, their heads still in her lap, their devotion beyond obvious. “You two. Look at me.”

They both immediately raised their heads. Carissa set a finger under each chin, holding them in place with just a touch. “I love you both so much. If I touch you now, I will hurt you, and I couldn’t forgive myself. I require your help only for a few minutes, and then in a week, you will pry Anna from me and offer yourselves. It should be safe by then.”

“Yes, Carissa,” they said.

She gestured, and they stood and backed away, but they didn’t go far. Carissa turned to me. I looked down at her chest for a moment then smiled. I knew she needed an offer, but that offer didn’t need to be in words. I stared at her chest for a moment then slowly lifted my eyes to hers.

She smiled, understanding what I had done, and she captured me. I could have looked away, at least the first few seconds, but then I grew lost in her eyes, and I felt her mind wrapping around mine.

“Come to me,” she ordered, and my body moved, sliding around until I knelt in front of her, our eyes now nearly at the same level.

Then she said nothing, only stared into my eyes for a while, holding me. I don’t know how long we stayed like that until my eyes grew heavy, and they closed. I felt her pull on me, and I felt her move us around. And I knew the moment her fangs entered me, although it didn’t hurt at all. And then I was filled with such pleasure, and whatever last thoughts fled, entirely fled, and all I could feel was Carissa, stroking my body, stroking my passion, stroking my mind.