CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
PATIENCE SAT IN a booth at Jo’s Bar as the sodas and iced teas were passed around. She was still feeling the glow from the previous night’s announcement and was thrilled to be able to share the news with her friends.
Noelle sat by Felicia, with Isabel between them. Patience was next to Felicia.
“It’s all everyone is talking about,” Isabel said with a grin. “I already called your mom and invited her to come and try on gowns.”
“Did she hang up on you?” Patience asked, slipping her straw into her glass of diet soda.
“Nearly. She said she wasn’t interested in anything I had. I pretended to be crushed, which was fun.” Isabel shook her head. “The poor woman still thinks she’s getting away with only you and Lillie at the ceremony.”
“Totally delusional,” Patience agreed. She turned to Felicia and Noelle. “No way that will happen in this town. My mom grew up here. She knows everyone. I think a backyard wedding is a great idea. We can have the reception at Brew-haha, but as for keeping the guest list down to immediate family? No way.”
“Historically, a wedding is as much a contract as a celebration,” Felicia said. “The blending of families was seen as mutually beneficial. Did you know that the female fantasy of being carried off by a handsome stranger can be traced back to times of precivilization when women were stolen by neighboring tribes? The stolen woman provided fresh DNA, which ensured healthier children.”
Noelle sipped her tea. “I can’t wait to see you drunk.”
Felicia stared at her. “Why?”
“I’ll bet you edit about half of what you say. I want to hear the whole thing. You’re so fascinating.”
Felicia shifted, obviously uncomfortable with the compliment. “I know I can be professorial.”
“A little, but it’s fun.” Noelle looked at Patience. “Let me know if you need any help getting things ready for the wedding. I’m at a slow stage with my business. I have the lease signed, but there’s about three weeks’ worth of remodeling that has to be done. I’ve started ordering my inventory, but some items are going to take six weeks. So I have time to run errands or whatever.”
“Thanks,” Patience said. “I’ll let you know. First my mom has to face reality. If she’s getting married in town, she’s going to have a guest list pushing two hundred people. I can’t wait!”
“It’s just plain romantic,” Noelle said with a sigh. “Finding love later in life.”
“It gives us all hope.” Isabel sipped her drink. “So, Patience, was Justice different than what you remembered?”
“His basic character is the same. He’s still sweet and funny.”
Felicia frowned. “Justice?”
“I know there are other sides to him, but I don’t see them as much.”
“Unless these two are keeping secrets,” Isabel said, “you’re going to have to have a relationship for all of us. My marriage disaster isn’t anything I want to risk repeating.”
“I’m recovering from a broken engagement,” Noelle said.
They all looked at her.
“I’m sorry,” Felicia said. “I didn’t know.”
“I hadn’t said anything to anyone. It sounds so sad. A broken engagement. Like it got dropped on the floor or something.”
Felicia picked up her drink. “I can’t bond on this subject. I haven’t been in any kind of romantic relationship and my sexual encounters have all been extremely short. I’m considering the possibility that I have responsibility in that beyond the barrier of my intelligence.”
“That you’re avoiding men who might want more from you?” Patience asked.
“Yes, and that I’m not putting myself in the appropriate social situations. I say I want to fall in love and have a family, but until I moved here, I hadn’t done anything to facilitate that occurring.”
Isabel leaned into Felicia. “We’ve all been idiots. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You see what you’ve been doing and now you can correct the problem.”
“I’m not always successful at self-correcting.”
“None of us are,” Noelle told her. “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep on trying.”
* * *
“DO YOU know what you’re doing?” Lillie asked.
Her tone was gentle and her gaze warm and affectionate, but Justice still felt the sting of her words.
“I’m trying,” he muttered, carefully combing her hair.
This wasn’t supposed to happen, he thought grimly. One of the staff had called in sick, so Ava had gone in to help at the store. Patience had phoned and promised she would be back in time to get Lillie ready, but she was—he glanced at the clock—twenty minutes late. Apparently the last day of school was a big deal for a ten-year-old, so Justice had stepped in to fill the breach, so to speak. Or in this case, try to figure out how to make a fancy braid look right.
“I can show you on a doll,” Lillie offered.
He sectioned the hair, as he’d been shown and tried to manipulate it the way he’d seen Patience do it a hundred times. Her fingers flew through the process. It had looked so easy.
“If you and Mom get married, you need to think about having a boy,” Lillie told him. “You’d like that and you wouldn’t have to worry about his hair.”
He dropped his hands and stared at her, at her pretty face, at the affection in her eyes. He heard the acceptance in her words. She’d taken him into her heart, much as he suspected her mother had.
“Lillie,” he began, not sure what to say.
She flung herself at him, hanging on tight. He hugged her back, barely aware of the twinge in his midsection.
“You’d be a good dad,” she whispered in his ear.
The front door flew open.
“I know, I know,” Patience said as she hurried inside. “I was watching the clock. Then I turned around and I was late. I ran the whole way.”
She was flushed and panting, proof of her point. She hurried toward them, then paused. “You look so grown-up. When did that happen?”
Lillie smoothed the front of her pink-and-white dress and smiled. “Mom, we can talk about me growing up later. I need to get to school.”
“Right. French braid.”
Patience took the comb from Justice and smoothed her daughter’s hair. Seconds later her fingers were moving in rapid sequence. More quickly than he could have thought possible, it was done and she’d tied a pink ribbon on the end.
Patience rose and headed for the stairs. “Wait right there. I have something for you.”
Lillie turned to Justice. “Do you know what it is?”
“I don’t.”
“Mom gives the best presents. Just wait until Christmas. You won’t believe what you find under the tree.”
Christmas. He’d never had much reason to acknowledge the holiday. He’d usually been working and often out of the country. He would guess that in Fool’s Gold the season was celebrated with gusto and festivals.
There would be snow, he thought. Traditions. It would be a time of memories and belonging. Did he want that? Could he let go of his past and be a part of something that lasted?
Patience raced down the stairs and handed her daughter a pale silver box. The fancy script said Jenel’s Gems in the corner.
Lillie’s eyes widened. “For me?”
Patience hugged her. “I’m so proud of you. You’re a good student. You’re interested and curious and you work hard. This isn’t all about your grades, though. This is because you’re a wonderful daughter and I love you so very much.”
Lillie’s eyes filled with tears. She held on to her mom and mumbled, “I love you, too.”
He watched them, both in the moment and separated from it. He’d never had anything like this, he thought. He was sure his mother had been tender with him when he was young, but by the time Justice was six, Bart didn’t allow any signs of affection. He didn’t want to “weaken the boy,” as he put it.
What his father had never seen was the power and strength in love.
Lillie straightened then she opened the box. Inside was a gold butterfly charm on a delicate chain. She gasped.
“Do you like it?” Patience asked. “I saw it and thought of you. Here, let me put it on you.”
Lillie turned.
Patience slipped the necklace over her daughter’s head, then fastened it. Lillie ran toward the downstairs bathroom.
“I want to see! I want to see!”
Patience smiled at him. “Her birthday’s in a couple of months and she doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to let her pierce her ears. I already bought the butterfly posts for her.”
He touched her cheek. “You’re a good mom.”
“I hope so. Thanks for helping with all this. Her last day of school crept up on me. I’m totally not prepared.”
“You’ve had a few things going on.”
Lillie returned and threw her arms around both of them. “I love it, Mom. I really love it!”
“I’m glad.”
Justice squeezed her tightly before letting her go. They all stood.
“Okay,” Patience said. “Eleven-thirty. We’ll all be there.” She looked at him.
He nodded. “I’ll be there on time. I promise. We’ll take pictures.”
Lillie beamed. “There’s not a ceremony or anything. It’s not like next year when I graduate. But there will be cookies.”
Patience bent down and kissed her daughter’s cheek. Lillie moved to Justice, her body language expectant.
It took him a second to realize what she wanted—the same kiss on the cheek. He bent forward and lightly touched his mouth to her smooth skin. When he straightened, she danced away.
“Bye. See you at eleven-thirty.”
“Bye,” Patience called after her. When the door closed, she turned to Justice. “Okay, I have to get back to the store. You know where the school is and everything?”
He nodded.
She kissed him on the mouth, and then she was gone, too.
He was left standing alone, apparently the only one aware of what had just happened.
* * *
“YOU’RE NOT listening,” Felicia said.
With any other woman, the words would be a complaint, but with Felicia it was simply a statement of fact.
“I know you find the topic of the business interesting,” she continued. “So your inattention must have another source.” She raised her eyebrows. “Patience?”
They were at the dining table of the small, furnished town house Felicia had rented. Papers were spread in front of him, but he hadn’t read any of them.
“Patience,” he agreed.
“It wasn’t a significant guess for me. She’s been on your mind a lot lately.”
“It’s not just her. It’s Lillie, too. And Ava, although less her. She’ll be moving out to live with Steve.” He rose and walked to the window, then turned back. “I can’t sleep anymore. I can’t stop thinking about them. Lillie’s going to be eleven. I don’t know anything about eleven-year-old girls. But she hugged me and wanted me to kiss her on the cheek.”
“She loves you. You’re a natural father figure. Did you think she wouldn’t bond with you?”
“I didn’t think about it one way or the other. I was focused on Patience. I like Lillie. I’d do anything for her. But what if I hurt her? I could hurt them both.” He felt his hands curl into fists and had to consciously relax his fingers.
“How can I know I’m good enough? How can I be sure he’s gone?” He shook his head. “I know my father is dead. You don’t have to remind me. That’s not what I mean.”
She stood and crossed to him. “I know what you mean. You’re afraid that who he was is a result of biology and that you’ve inherited his, for lack of a better word, evilness.”
“I can’t risk it.”
She pressed her palm against his chest, over his heart. “You love them.”
He closed his eyes, then opened them again. “I don’t want to put them in danger.”
“Love can’t do that.”
“It can.”
“Your father didn’t love anyone. Not even himself. But you’re not him. You never were. As for the rest of it, this is Fool’s Gold, not an op. You walked away from that life, Justice. More significant, you came here on purpose.”
He covered her hand with his. “I didn’t know where else to go. I had to see Patience again. But I wasn’t supposed to stay.”
“You’ve been drawn to this place since you left. You belong here. You have something special, something that can’t be manufactured.” Her expression turned sad. “Something so many of us want.”
He squeezed her fingers. “You’ll find the right guy.”
“I hope you’re correct. I want to and I’m afraid. I’ve never had such mixed emotions. Sometimes the desire is stronger and sometimes the fear. I’ve tried to create a formula to predict my emotions, but I’m unable to.”
He released her and stepped back. “Maybe that’s part of the magic of being human.”
She smiled. “I agree. There is an element of magic. And chemistry. While I can detail the process and even the hormones involved, I can’t tell you why one person will cause the reaction and another won’t. You were never interested in me that way.”
“No.” He pulled her close. “Life would have been easier if I had been.”
“For both of us.”
They held each other for a few seconds, and then she moved away.
“Although I was angry at the time, I’m glad we never had sexual relations,” she told him. “Not only because it could have damaged our friendship but because it might have been...” She hesitated.
“Gross” he offered.
She laughed. “Yes. Gross.” Her humor faded. “Justice, you will never truly be free of your past. But if you let that fear win, then so does your father. I know the man you are. I’ve seen you under nearly every circumstance possible. I know who you are when you’re exhausted and wounded and hopeless. I would trust you with my life. If I had a child, I would trust you with that child’s life. Whoever your father was has no bearing on who you have become. You’re a good man. Patience deserves a good man.”
He wanted to believe her. Wanted the promise of long years with Patience. Lillie’s offhanded comment about having a son had lodged in his brain. He would like that. He would also like a little girl. Children and a home. And a lifetime with Patience.
Felicia was right. He’d never forgotten her, had always thought about the girl he’d known so long ago. Stupid maybe, but true. So he’d come and she was even more than he’d imagined.
He wanted to give her all he had, to plan a future with her, to enjoy the rhythm of life in this ridiculous town. All that stood between this moment and that future was his father. Oh, and Patience, he thought with a smile. He had to convince her to say yes.
It was a simple choice. The past or the future. The wide-open bright light of promise or the small, dark corner of shame. Yes, a simple choice, but not an easy one. Because to pick the light meant having faith in himself.
“I can’t lose her,” he said.
Felicia sighed. “That’s so romantic.”
He glanced at his watch. “I have to go. Can we pick this up later?”
“Yes. Go.”
* * *
JENEL’S GEMS WAS an elegant store with more rings than Justice had ever seen in one place. Not that he could remember ever being in a jewelry store before. He hadn’t known about this one until he’d seen the box Lillie’s present had come in.
He stared down at the display of twinkling diamonds and felt his chest tighten. How was he supposed to decide?
“Good morning.”
A tall, pretty blonde walked in from the rear of the store and smiled at him. “I’m Jenel. How can I help?”
“I’m, uh, Justice Garrett. I want to buy an engagement ring.”
Her smile widened. “Based on your slightly panicked expression, I’m going to guess this is a decision made recently?”
“Just now. But it’s right. I won’t change my mind.”
“Good to know, although we do have a return policy.” She studied him. “Who’s the lucky lady? Just so you know, I’m very good at keeping secrets. Knowing the future bride helps me guide you toward the rings she would like most.”
“Patience McGraw.”
Jenel’s blue eyes lit up. “I know Patience. She’s wonderful and her daughter is adorable. I’m so happy for both of you. Don’t you love her new store? The logo is charming and so creative.” Jenel sighed. “This is great news. All right. You need to take a few deep breaths and then we’ll look at rings. Do you have anything in mind?”
She pointed to a padded stool. He sank down and looked at the display in front of him.
“I have no idea. Something nice. A ring she’d like.”
“Patience isn’t especially flashy, and with the work she does, a large solitaire might get in the way. Having said that, every girl loves a little flash with her bling. And it’s very satisfying to have a sparkly engagement ring.”
She pulled out several rings and put them on a padded, velvet tray. “These are simple solitaire diamonds. Classic and elegant. You can go any number of ways with the band. Platinum, gold or something with diamonds. I would urge you to consider the latter because she probably won’t wear her engagement ring all the time. Especially at work. So diamonds in a wedding band are a nice touch.”
He swallowed hard, muttered, “Sure,” then knew he was totally out of his league. He needed help, and fast. Then he saw it. A ring that seemed to sparkle more than the rest.
“That one,” he said, pointing to one in the case.
Jenel nodded. “Nice. It’s one of my favorites, too. One and a half carats, it’s a modified cushion-cut diamond with a double row of bead-set diamonds surrounding it. There are also some diamonds on the band, as you can see.”
Little of what she said made sense to him. What he saw was a large, somewhat square diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds. The whole thing was held up by a V structure.
She returned the other rings and pulled out the one he liked, along with several bands with diamonds.
“With this style, they can nestle together, and she’ll have a flat ring for work.”
He knew this was the moment where he decided to let go of the past and believe in his future. Together he and Patience could make it. He loved her. He’d probably loved her for the past fifteen years. Felicia was right—Patience was the reason he’d come back to Fool’s Gold. Now that he’d found her again, he never wanted to let her go.
He looked at Jenel. “That’s the one.”
“It’s beautiful, but if Patience doesn’t like it, I’ll happily exchange it for something else.”
His phone rang. He glanced at the screen and saw Patience’s name and number.
“Excuse me,” he said, and stood. “Hello?”
“Justice?” The sound was more of a sob than an actual word. Patience sucked in breath. “Justice?”
He could hear the tears in her voice. The panic. His body went very, very still.
“What’s wrong? Tell me what happened?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s L-Lillie. At school. A man c-came. He had a gun and he took her. Justice, please.” She began to cry.
In less time than it took him to absorb the words, he began the process of disconnecting from all that was around him. There was only the moment and the mission. He didn’t know what had happened or why, but he knew how it was going to end.
“You’re at the school?” he asked.
“Yes, but Police Chief Barns wants me to go home.”
“I’ll be right there.”